There are many differences in the way of raising children.

There are many differences in the way of raising children.

There are many differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in parenting. There is no doubt that grandparents love their grandchildren. However, when the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law have differences because of the concept of child-rearing, or even the relationship is stiff, should we reflect on how to properly resolve the contradictions? Let's take a look at the differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in parenting.

There are many differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law on the way to raising children. Tell me about the routine 1. Speaking of the topic of the elderly helping to take care of their children, there must be many precious mothers who can't wait to pour out their sufferings. "My mother-in-law insisted on giving her 3-month-old baby rice soup, which made me very angry!"

"My father-in-law often smokes while holding the child, directly saying that he is afraid of hurting his feelings, and euphemistically saying that he doesn't listen at all. What if he is swollen? "

"The baby is a little thin. My mother advises me to wean the child every day, saying that the baby who drinks milk powder is stronger than one!"

"The child is almost 2 years old and is usually very naughty. As long as he doesn't listen, her mother-in-law likes to scare him. She either wants to call the police to arrest you, or send you for an injection, or shut you out and not want you. Baby timid, alas ... "

Although they are trivial matters, I don't think any treasure mother is willing to accommodate them as long as they involve children's health or education.

We all live under the same roof, so we can't tear up X, can we?

How can we persuade the elderly to give up those unsatisfactory experiences and raise their children in a scientific way?

This is not an easy task. However, we may be able to come up with many tricks to help you complete the "impossible task" of persuading the elderly.

1, find out the key points

Perhaps there are too many contradictions in Separate child care, coupled with the differences in values and lifestyles between the two generations, which often make us feel "head first". In this state, of course, it is difficult to convince the elderly, because you don't know where to "say".

Think about what needs to be persuaded to change immediately, which can be ignored and which needs a long process to improve.

After the analysis, you will find the focus of the problem and continue to "plan" the next step.

Nini is 4 months old and her mother is going to work. Her mother-in-law came from the country to help look after her granddaughter. In less than a week, her mother felt that she was about to collapse: her mother-in-law never brushed the bottle after feeding Nini water and milk, and continued to use it next time because she felt it was not dirty and unnecessary; Nini's clothes are washed together with the clothes of the whole family in washing powder water. My mother-in-law said it had been washed clean. Don't wear a hat when going out in the sun, because "tanning is stronger." In addition, my mother-in-law has no taste in cooking, speaks with an accent, and doesn't like to take a shower and change clothes ... My mother really feels that this day can't be passed.

In the conversation with Ma Bao, everyone gave Nima advice noisily. Finally, Nima decided not to let her mother-in-law wash the baby's clothes after work. Prepare more milk bottles so that mother-in-law can only use clean ones at a time; Ask hourly workers to cook.

The accent doesn't matter. It is said that it can also help children develop their language skills. Just convince her mother-in-law to take a bath and change clothes often, and go out in the sun to wear a small hat for her baby. After choosing these "messy yarns", I thought I only needed to change two things, and my mother would not be depressed. She was confident to convince her mother-in-law.

Step 2 Build trust

Trust is the basis of persuasion. Without this foundation, no persuasion can achieve the desired effect. Therefore, if you want to convince the elderly, you must let them have enough trust in you.

In most cases, the elderly always think that we are still children and refuse to accept our parenting suggestions and methods. At this time, experts, doctors, parenting magazines, relatives and friends who have taken care of children of the same age around the elderly can be skillfully used by you.

In addition, building feelings is the basis of building trust. With a good relationship, you can easily win the trust and understanding of the elderly and let them take care of their children step by step according to your parenting style.

Yi Yi is less than three years old and is usually looked after by her grandmother. Grandma is most afraid of her grandson getting sick. It was a little cold and hot, so she didn't run away from home with her. What mud and soil did she refuse to let her grandson touch? Every weekend, Yiyi's parents rest and take their children to play around. Not only go to the playground, but also take him camping in the wild, dig sand at the seaside, and bring the little guy with him every time his classmates and friends get together.

But in this regard, Yiyi's grandmother is very opposed, thinking that this is because young parents are naughty and toss their children. In fact, Yiyi sometimes gets sick because of it. The old man was furious with his daughter about this, and even forbade Yiyi's mother to pick up the children on weekends.

For this reason, Yiyi's mother bought some books and magazines, such as how to play smarter at home. Invite high school students who are experts in children's education to have dinner at home, and talk about how good it is for children's physical and mental development to show their children the world and get in touch with new things while eating in front of their mothers.

One weekend, I specially invited an old colleague whose mother had not seen for a long time to bring my granddaughter to my house. That little girl is smart and lively, and her personality and study are excellent. When Yiyi's grandmother casually asked her old colleague how she educated such an excellent little granddaughter, Yiyi's grandmother was particularly impressed by her old colleague's phrase "all joking".

From then on, Grandma Yiyi had no objection to the little guy going out for "crazy play" on weekends, and took the initiative to take her grandson everywhere. If you can't "deal with" your grandson, call your daughter first, or ask her to find some books and magazines to "study" together.

3. Win-win strategy

If you just emphasize to the elderly that it is "good for the children", the elderly will think: Isn't that how you were brought up, and now you can still lead the children astray? ! If the old man walks into such a dead end, it will be difficult to convince him.

It is a particularly thoughtful, considerate and feasible suggestion to make the old people realize that doing it your way is not only good for children, but also good for the old people.

But to do this, we need to analyze the problem from the standpoint of the elderly. When you think from the standpoint of the old man, you may not want to convince him again!

If you meet a strong old man, you can also persuade them to change their ways in a soft and sympathetic way, so that the old man can realize that it is because of his concession that you are no longer embarrassed and they will have a great sense of accomplishment.

Zhuang Zhuang is almost 2 years old and has been chased and fed by her grandmother, which makes Zhuang Zhuang's mother have a headache. Just once, grandma was injured by furniture while chasing her grandson to nurse, so Zhuangzhuang decided to take this opportunity to have a good talk with her mother-in-law.

The strong mother mainly said that her mother-in-law was old and in poor health. It is always very difficult to feed her grandson in the whole house.

She also said that every time she finished such a meal, the old man couldn't eat well himself and often had a stomachache, which made her very distressed.

Finally, I said in an understatement, in fact, if children eat by themselves, they may be more interested in eating, eat more and exercise their many abilities.

Then I put forward the idea of letting my mother-in-law put her grandson on the dining chair, giving him a small bowl and spoon that is not afraid of falling and letting him eat it himself. Adults can sit next to him and eat their own food, and by the way, give the child a demonstration.

After several attempts, grandma felt that her grandson ate too much like this and saved a lot of effort, thus completely changing the way of chasing and feeding. Zhuang Ma Zhuang finally breathed a sigh of relief.

Step 4 seize the opportunity

If you want to convince others, you can't come straight to the point. We should pay attention to the discretion of words and deeds, choose the time when the other party is in a good mood and mental state, and put forward our own suggestions and opinions. This is even more important if you want to convince the elderly.

If the atmosphere is right, your suggestion is easily accepted; If the timing is wrong, your goal will be difficult to achieve, and you may be scolded by old people.

Moreover, remember, don't argue with the elderly in front of children or other elders, it is the most unwise choice.

Tong Tong is a little shy, but grandpa just likes to "show" his grandson in front of people. But once, the grandson was very angry and scolded him for not greeting others or reciting Tang poems according to his own wishes. Therefore, children are more shy and afraid to meet strangers.

Tong Tong's mother saw this scene several times, always looking for an opportunity to tell her father-in-law: If Tong Tong is not forced to watch for a while, the child will take the initiative to say hello to others.

Grandpa went to visit an old comrade-in-arms whom he hadn't seen for many years. He was so excited that he just wanted to chat with his comrades-in-arms and forgot to show his grandson. After getting familiar with the guests and the atmosphere at the scene, Tong Tong took the initiative to send a big apple to the guests and asked questions with them. The guests repeatedly praised Tong Tong's politeness, and Tong Tong was very excited. Grandpa also feels particularly proud.

After seeing off the guests, while Grandpa was still excited, Tong Tong's mother quickly communicated with her father-in-law what she wanted to say, and made an empirical study according to the situation just now. Grandpa readily accepted Tong Tong's mother's proposal.

I wonder if the above strategy has won your heart? I hope you can become an expert in persuasion and get along well with the elderly at home.

Don't say "take", don't say it, do more work to make up for your indifference to children; Paying more attention to children can correct the deviation of the elderly in education.

It is enough that children who receive double care and care grow up healthier and happier.

There are many differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law on the way to raising children.

Because there is no way, we have to ask the old man to help with the children. Dr. Lin, a famous parent-child expert, said:

"The attitude that mother must prepare is: all listen to the elderly, and all give priority to the elderly, otherwise you will raise it yourself and ignore other people's opinions."

If a mother can't give up her career and money, can't take care of her children by herself, and asks the elderly to do this and that, it is that her mother is unreasonable and her wishes are difficult to realize.

Mothers need to affirm and appreciate their mother-in-law, establish a good relationship with the elderly, and the elderly can slowly learn some new ideas.

Moreover, mothers don't have to worry too much about the influence of the old people's practices on their children, but they don't break the bottom line, such as teaching children to steal and curse.

The mother is the "important person" of the child, which means that the child is most influenced by the mother. Even if the old man is wrong, the influence is limited, and the child is not as fragile as we think. He can't live in a vacuum. He needs to learn to face different people from an early age.

If mothers have to raise their children according to their own ideas, the only way is to bring them by themselves.

Put a bowl of soup away from my mother-in-law.

When getting along with mother-in-law, we must clearly understand that mother-in-law is mother-in-law, not mother, and daughter-in-law is daughter-in-law, not daughter.

In the mother-in-law's mind, the daughter-in-law is certainly not as important as her son and daughter. With this understanding, it is much easier for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along.

Our own eyes are discerning. My husband tried to strangle each other countless times in marriage, not to mention his mother-in-law who had been together for a few days.

It's normal that she can't meet your expectations, so don't expect too much from her mother-in-law. The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment. Without expectations, you will be satisfied.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law keep a bowl of soup apart, which not only has their own space, but also keeps an intimate distance. In other words, when the next generation visits each other, they bring a bowl of nutritious soup to the people they care about. The soup is not cold, just right. But the heat will not be too cold, and the warmth will be passed on to each other quickly when necessary.

Step 3 communicate without emotion

Psychologist Wu Zhihong said: "What matters is not what happened, but how the other person felt. We must always remember that communication is the most important thing in intimate relationships. "

Communication is the bridge of the soul, unblocking obstacles and clearing misunderstandings; Communication is a good medicine to cure, resolve contradictions and heal wounds.

Therefore, when there is conflict and friction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we must communicate frankly and in time, so that the man (husband and son) who is with * * * can also make peace and shake hands.

But communication requires skill, and the most taboo is emotional communication, which will make the other party feel attacked.

From a psychological point of view, in the process of communication, if we talk to you, you will usually make the other party feel that they are being accused. When the other person hears the word "you", he will subconsciously combine himself with the problem and then attack himself.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a compulsory course in marriage. If we find a wise way to deal with it, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can also change from resistance to help.

It's better to be picky than tolerant, and it's better to understand when picking things. After many years, it is not easy for anyone to become a wife. I hope my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can live in harmony.