15 Super Classic Children’s Jokes

15 Super Classic Children’s Jokes

15 Super Classic Children’s Jokes. The protagonists in children’s jokes are mainly children. They are often attracted by children because of their innocence and fun. People have unexpected laughs. Below I have compiled 15 super classic children’s jokes. 15 Super Classic Children’s Jokes 1

1. I recall that when I was a child, my family was poor and I had very few underwear. All my underwear was washed out in one day.

I wanted to go out and play without anything underneath, so I took my dad’s big vest and found a needle and thread to sew the bottom of the vest up in the middle.

So I had my vest and underpants, and I found a belt to tie around my waist to cover up others’ eyes. My reputation spread among the aunts all afternoon.

The original poster turned thirty this year and was still laughed at for his ingenuity. How fashionable was he back then?

2. Once I had a quarrel with my classmate. He was so quarrelsome that I couldn't quarrel with him. When I was anxious, I said, "I spit on your face like shit." After hearing this, he looked at me for a few seconds, and as expected he stopped arguing. Today, while having fun, I suddenly received a text message from my sister. "How much does it cost to have an abortion? Hurry up, there's something wrong." I was surprised and my mind was racing: Is she pregnant? She looks like a pretty peaceful girl! How do you ask me? Does she know that I have research in this area? There's no rush to have an abortion, right? Why hurry up? Just as I was thinking about it, another text message came: "Hurry up, I can't walk on my bicycle"...

3. When I was a child, children loved to play with cannons during the Chinese New Year. When I was a child, I loved to light cannons.

I pause for two seconds and then throw it in a place with water. Many times it ends in failure. The cannon doesn’t go off. I’m really unwilling to do it, so I throw it again, thinking I won’t touch it this time. The pond

I threw it in my mother's footbath, yes, it rang loudly, the basin was blown to pieces, and then all my New Year's money was gone...

4. A two-meter-tall basketball player came from the court. He was sweating profusely from the heat. Two primary school students on the roadside saw him and started talking.

A: "Why do you think this uncle is so hot?"

B: "Because he is tall."

A: "Why is he so tall? Is it hot?"

B: "You are taller and closer to the sun!"

5. The father of twin brother Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua is a zookeeper. Today I took my two babies to see the orangutans. Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua wanted to watch carefully and begged their father to take them to feed the orangutans.

Xiao Ming: Wow, so many orangutans.

Xiaohua: That one is the biggest, that one is the smallest.

Xiao Ming: It seems that there is no orangutan with white hair.

Xiaohua: That one is smacking his lips at us!

Orangutan A: Come and see, everyone, I brought two new ones for food.

Orangutan B: He is white.

6. An old man was walking slowly along the street and saw a child who wanted to ring a doorbell, but the doorbell was too high and he couldn't ring it. The kind-hearted old man stopped and said to the child: "Let me ring the bell for you." So he helped the child ring the bell, and everyone in the house heard the bell. At this time, the child said to the old man: "Let's run away now." The old man said: "..."

7. Every family is very studious and accepts new knowledge very quickly. Her mother taught her to rebel. The word, said: "Fast." She said: "Slow." Mom said: "High." She said: "Low."... Soon, every family learned many negative words. The mother asked: "Do you understand how to use opposite words?" She said: "I understand."... A little boy went to the pasture for the first time and saw a lamb. He mustered up the courage to touch it and exclaimed in surprise: "Its fur is made of blankets!"

8. I am a middle class teacher in a kindergarten, and I get along well with the children and deeply understand it. Popular with children.

They are always willing to sneak snacks into my desk drawer.

One day, a child in the class who was usually very stingy handed me a piece of ham.

I was very happy because he never gave snacks to any children and almost ate them himself.

I am secretly happy: I still have weight in his heart!

He quickly said in a warm and sugary voice: Teacher doesn’t want to eat, you can eat, be good!

He said calmly: Bite it open...

9. One day, Weiwei and her mother went to buy appliances. Weiwei saw a sign and asked her mother what it said: What is it?

Mom said: This is a ‘national inspection-free product’. Weiwei took note of it.

One day, the uncle who was checking the household registration came to check the household registration. The uncle joked to Weiwei: Do you have a household registration?

Weiwei smiled and said: I am a ‘national inspection-free product.

10. One day I took my 6-year-old nephew out to buy fruit. He said he would buy it, and I admired him

Unexpectedly, what was even better was that he wanted to sell it to others. The fruit man said, put all the bad ones in a bag

Put as many as you want, but with a sinister smile on his face, he packed them all

The little nephew said he didn’t want any in the bag

Give me the food from the stall, two pounds

I stood aside, silently underestimating my IQ! !

11. People asked a boy which one was heavier, one kilogram of lead or one kilogram of feathers. The boy answered without hesitation that one kilogram of lead weighed more. People immediately explained to him that he was wrong and that two were equally heavy, but the boy still insisted on his opinion.

"To prove this," he said, "I will go to the balcony and from there throw first a kilogram of feathers and then a kilogram of lead on your head. Let's see, by then What do you say?"

12. Xiao Ming came home with a prize, and his mother asked: "Dear, why did the school give you a NULL prize?"

Xiao Ming said: " In nature class, the teacher asked how many legs an ostrich has, and I said three..."

"But an ostrich only has two legs!"

"Now I know. . But other students in the class said there were four legs, and my answer was the least different, so I won the prize!"

13. The father taught his little son how to use his fingers.

The father said: Fingers can represent numbers or meanings. Raising the thumb towards others means "good, or first" and raising the little finger means "poor or last".

The son said: Mom is the best, he should give her the thumbs up.

The father said: My son is so smart.

The son said: Then Dad is neither good nor bad. He should give you the middle finger.

The father was shocked: ... 15 super classic children’s jokes 2

A collection of hilarious jokes

1. A toad’s latest thought of tea and food, even No mosquitoes were able to catch and eat it, and the other toads wanted to know what happened to it. The oldest toad said: "Catch a swan and keep it safe. Because the toad wants to eat the swan meat."

2. My female dog gave birth to two puppies. Because my wife is a news reporter, so We jokingly called these two dogs "paparazzi". Once when we were about to kiss, I suddenly saw the "paparazzi" shouting: "Paparazzi!" My wife was frightened and said: "Where are they? It's impossible. I asked them to go back." . ”

3. North Korea says that the American people are living in dire straits. The headline on the first page of the Chosun newspaper published a photo of Americans sunbathing on the beach, with the text: Americans are very poor, have no clothes to wear, not enough to eat, people are starving to death, and no one cares... ...

4. Ah Ju and Feifei agreed to take the stairs to their 50th floor home. When they reached the 10th floor, Ah Ju asked Feifei, "Feifei, are you tired?" Feifei shook her head and they continued walking. When they reached the 30th floor, Ah Ju asked Feifei: "Feifei, are you tired?" Feifei shook her head and they continued walking.

Arriving at the 49th floor, Ah Ju asked Feifei: "Feifei, are you tired?" Feifei nodded vigorously. Ah Ju: "Okay, let's walk back and take the elevator home."

5. Ah Ju was about to take an exam, and his mother asked Ah Ju if he had finished reading the book. Ah Ju said: "I have finished reading." The next day, when her mother saw Ah Ju’s failed paper, she was furious, “Why did you do so poorly on the exam after you’ve read all the books?” Ah Ju: “Mom, what I said that day was... I read, it’s over.”

6. How much is your husband’s annual salary? “8 million.” “Oh my God, it’s much better than mine. I’m so happy.” My friend said. “This is the basic salary.” “What do you do?” The friend asked again. “Dreaming. "..." friend.

7. Xiaoqiang went to the zoo to see the monkey, and the monkey exclaimed: "Second Junior Brother, long time no see." Xiaoqiang: "You must have recognized the wrong person. I don't know you." Monkey: "I'm still pretending. I think no one knows. Look in the mirror." ”

8. In fact, in the story of the tortoise and the hare, there is a little-known joke that I will share with you today: the hare is far ahead, and the tortoise is crawling behind. , suddenly saw a snail, it said: "Brother Turtle, I'm going with you, give me a ride." "The tortoise nodded. After the tortoise surpassed the sleeping rabbit, he met an ant that was too hot in the sun. It also got on the tortoise shell. The snail chatted up: "Brother, catch it quickly. Don't be thrown out." . "

9. The motor vehicle and the toy car praised themselves together. The motor vehicle said: "I am strong and can do things for people, so people like me very much!" The toy car said unconvinced: "No matter how big and powerful you are, it doesn't matter if you can do things for people. Aren't you still being ridden and ridden by people? But I am different. People have to let me sit and ride. "The motor vehicle was stunned when he heard this.

10. A buddy started to doze off as soon as he got into class. For this reason, the teacher had "let him go". One morning, the buddy woke up and watched Looking at the Chinese text written on the blackboard, he muttered to himself: "Our math teacher is really awesome, and he can teach Chinese so well!" A student next to him replied: "Sorry, the Chinese teacher is giving the lecture now! The math class is over. !"

11. Police officer: Report to the police chief that the criminal I chased has no way out and has fled into Secretary Lan's house. Police officer: Why don't you follow him in? Police officer: I have nothing. , I'm sorry to go to the leader's house...

12. I couldn't beat the BMW and could only watch it disappear in the sunset. It was not because of my bad engine. But my car chain fell off.

13. When I went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, I saw a child looking at the stall. I asked: "How much does a chicken cost?"

The kid replied: “23. "

I asked again: "How much do two chickens cost?"

The child was stunned for a moment and couldn't figure it out for a while. He suddenly yelled: "You can only buy one at a time. !"

14. I asked him: Husband, do you think I am ugly?

I thought my husband would say: Baby is not ugly at all.

Result He threw down two words: No problem.

15. When I was in Chinese language class in elementary school, my Chinese teacher mentioned the famous saying that the sea is open to all rivers, and it is great to have tolerance. Xiao Ming stood up and asked: "Teacher, who is Yourong?" . The teacher said: "Get out." ”

16. “Dad, shall we go to the circus tonight?” ”

“Son, I don’t have time. "

"I heard from children that there was an auntie without clothes dancing on the tiger in the circus. "

"Okay, let's go together. I haven't seen a tiger for a long time. ”

17. Today, my nephew and I were sitting on the sofa, eating potato chips and watching TV. As I ate, I felt that the potato chips were all wet. I turned around and saw, He licked each potato chip whole and put it back into the bag.

18. Son: “Mom, how did I get here? "Mom:" Your father planted a seed in my belly, and then you were born.

The son turned and left. After a while, he took a gourd seed and said, "Mom, eat it and give me a gourd baby." ”

19. If one day I change my Weibo to my real name, change my photo to my own, change my signature to be positive, and delete all the previous words, it probably means that I want to start a new life or My mother followed me.

20. The zoo held a discussion! The host asked: "Can cats climb trees?" " Eagle answered quickly: "Yes! "Host: "Please give an example! "The eagle said with tears: "That year, when I was asleep, the cat climbed up the tree...and then there were owls! ”