Save it.

1, I fell in love with you at first sight, and I was awake at the second sight.

I am a civilized person, and all the swearing words have been disinfected with saliva.

In the afternoon, I asked for a Buddha's bead. The young monk told me that the abbot had gone to purchase goods.

4. The first guy who knows that milk can be drunk, what did you do to the cow?

5. As long as you are thin, everything is omnipotent. If you are fat, nothing is useful.

6. The man is strong-willed and the woman is confused.

7. Life is like a pressure cooker. I know myself well when I'm under too much pressure.

8. Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is slow and marriage is quick to fry.

9. The so-called perfect marriage is that the man is finished and the woman is beautiful.

10 Some people, when making masks, look much better than real people.

1 1. The most valuable thing for a person is to know how much he weighs. Why don't you try to stand on the big scale? That weight doesn't move at all.

12, I swear I'll chop my hands when I surf the Internet again. I found out that I am Guanyin with a thousand hands.

13, whoever delays me for a while, I will make him regret it for the rest of his life.

14, Wen Hui! Wenhui! Listen! I'm peeing.

15, the farthest distance in the world is from Monday to Friday.

16, you said ice is sleeping water, I only remember that fart is a breath of shit. ...

17, the head with shell is also combed by lightning.

18. Life is like poop, and we are intoxicated with it like dung beetles.

19, you stubbornly turned a Audrey Hepburn into a princesa.

20. The Smurfs sang to Avatar, "When I grow up, I will be you".

2 1, if I die, my first sentence is: finally I don't have to be afraid of ghosts.

22. I drown my sorrows in wine, but this damn pain taught me to swim.

23. If my life were a movie, you would be a pop-up advertisement.

24. The success of a person's life depends on the memorial service.

25. Pretending to be forced is only an instant, and shamelessness is eternal.

26. My three idols when I was a child: Lei Feng, Zhang Haidi and Zhang Ga. Short for "Lady Gaga".

27, others laugh at me for being too slutty, and I laugh at others for not being open.

28. Women at the 18th National Congress are becoming more and more casual.

29. When some people die, it's nothing to do with me. Some people, I can't let go of them.

30. I want to buy things when I am angry. When I buy things, I have to spend money. When I spend money, my money becomes less. I get angry when I have little money.

3 1, people are not cheap, I am not cheap, and people are cheaper than me.

32. Raise your head 45 degrees just to stop your nose, and lower your head 45 degrees just to wipe your nose so that others can't see it.

33. I saw a penny by the roadside. I was just about to bend down and pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm. Damn it! ... who threw up so round?

34. If I can forgive your vulgarity, can you forgive my hypocrisy?

35. The so-called difference in values is: given a candle, some people will feel that they are missing a cake, while others will feel that they are missing a whip.

35 Super Classic Love Quotations

1, the best time for love is the stage of suffering from loss. You know he likes you, and you like him. Flirting and ambiguous days, every day is sweet. I woke up in the morning with a smile on my face. I really want to hear his voice and see him.

2. What kind of feelings does love have? The less likely love is to be rewarded, the stronger the desire. According to this view, love is only a direction, not a place. If you achieve your goal, you will be self-marketing after you have the person you love.

3, don't think that there is better behind, because what you have now is the best; Don't think that you can get married late just because you are young. Love age is different. Don't give up because the distance is too far, love can accompany you by train; Don't give up because the other person is not rich, as long as you are not incompetent, encouraging the other person can make you rich; Don't give up because outsiders object, happiness depends on your own heart.

4, how many people, obviously broke up, but still love. How many people, obviously still in love, say that they have let go, and how many people, obviously sad, still smile and say that I am fine.

The cruelest thing in the world is not that you didn't meet the person you love, but that you met and finally missed it. The saddest thing in the world is not that the person you love doesn't love you, but that he doesn't love you after he loves you. "We used to love each other, and it hurts to think about it."

6, love, find a person who can bear hardships together, not enjoy it together; Find someone who can bear it together, not escape it together; Find someone who is responsible for you, not for love. Love is not a matter of one person, but the efforts of two people and their creation.

7. Love is the brightest part of life. To use a tacky metaphor, it is half a spoonful of salt on the table. Without salt, nothing tastes. After a long time, you will get sick. But if there is no salt for a few days, the bleak days will have to be lived well.

8. When two people are together, don't think about whether the other person loves you or not, because love is unbearable. The more I think about it, the more painful it is. One day you will find that love is really not that important. You will get hurt along the way, and some love will become dull memories.

9. Love is not a business. If you are frustrated, you will lose everything. Love is not a bet. If you lose, you will become poor. Love is the collision and commitment of two hearts, just like the notes of a harmonious music score, which composes the sanctity of the world and stays together for a lifetime.

10, love and hate never exist alone, but always exist together. Only at a certain stage, love is a little more than hate, and hate is blurred when you see love; Or hate is a little more than love. Seeing hate blurs love, and we all blur ourselves in these vague emotions.

1 1. Without love, you are doomed to be unable to squeeze into his life. Please don't cry in front of him when he doesn't love you. Don't tell him when he is ill. He can't give you care and care, only sympathy at most. Please be proud of you, don't give up your pride.

12, if someone will cherish you, then you are lucky. Cherish the person who cherishes you and love her well. This is the best love in the era of being addicted to money. If you lose him, it will be difficult for you to find someone who is so suitable for you.

13, true love is to make yourself a better person, and finding someone who will make you happy all your life is the goal of love. The best is often the one who has been with you the longest. So choosing a lover doesn't need too many criteria, as long as I don't lie to you and stay with you.

14, falling in love with someone is a insecure thing. The more you love someone, the more you will worry about him leaving, be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, and think more. There are many possibilities for love, but marriage is only one possibility, that is, companionship, and security is around you.

15, someone loves it, end it; There is a saying that you will regret when you say it; A love that is too deep will end; Some things will go bad if left for a long time; Some feelings depreciate because of time distance; Love is so short, but forgetting is so long.

16, people who know you will love you in the way you need. People who don't understand you will love you in the way they need. Therefore, people who know you often get twice the result with half the effort. They love you freely and you are happy. People who don't understand you often get twice the result with half the effort. They love each other so much that you suffer. In the world of two people, understanding is more difficult than love. If a person can't really understand you, then his love, the deeper, the more grinding …

17. The more you care about a person, the more you want to win the favor of the other person, the more you suppress your heart, stay away from wanton laughter in forbearance, and dare not cry aloud in reserve. No matter how beautiful love is, it is also a truth first. If you give up your original self for it, you will definitely get emotional harm without ending. Don't care too much about a person, because you care, so expect; Disappointed because of expectation.

18, a person is a passer-by, no matter how good, I don't want to go with you. No matter how many shortcomings a person has, he may tolerate you everywhere and accompany you to the end, and that is the end. Because companionship and understanding are more important than love. There will be a lot of love in your life, and there will always be only one person to accompany you to the end. Find someone who is willing to put up with you and walk to the end together. Love is mutual patience, mutual sincerity, and a lifetime.

19, many times, I want to love you, but I find that I can't love you; Many times, I want to forget you, only to find that you occupy a too important position in my heart; Many times, I want to tell you that I love you and I am really tired, but you don't care; Many times, I want to give up loving you, not because I no longer love you, but because I love you so much that I am willing to let you go.

20. Sometimes, a person who advises you to leave may love you the most. A person who wants you to give up may care about you the most. A person who is eager to stop contacting may miss you most. A person who leaves silently may be the most reluctant to part with you. Our life is spent in such contradictions and entanglements. Love is not a game to play together. Love is just the pain of missing you and having to leave.

2 1, in the world of love, no one is sorry for who, only who does not know how to cherish who. People always cherish what they don't get and forget what they have. The most urgent thing is the most beautiful scenery; What hurts the most is always the truest feelings.

22, even if you lose weight and look good, you are all right, and people who don't love you still don't love you; No matter how fat and ugly you are, no matter how bad you are, people who love you will never abandon you.

23. Because of you, I sleep late every day just to wait for you and talk to you. Because of you, I will hold my mobile phone from time to time to see if there are any missed calls or text messages for you; Because of you, I will be inexplicably angry and unreasonable; Because of you, I became entangled and didn't know what to do. Your words can change my mood all day, and your short message can affect my mood all day … all because of you.

24. Actually, I miss the past very much. About those people and things, you can't just forget them. I miss our unrestrained laughter. Miss our joys and sorrows. Miss our naive vows. Miss everything we once had. It's just that I'm over it now. No one belongs to anyone. No one will be with anyone all his life. I just hope we're all okay. That's funny. Live a good life. Live a good life.

25, rich, can't support you for a lifetime. Handsome, you can't show off all your life. People live by it, not by comparison. It's really good to live a good life. So don't look for handsome or rich people, find someone who can tolerate you. If he can't tolerate your emotions and shortcomings, what's the use of good conditions? In fact, the best day is nothing more than you are making trouble, he is laughing, and it is a warm life.

26. You can make a woman cry, you can make her feel wronged, but don't let her be silent, because silence is the deepest pain, and silence is the saddest cry for a woman. You know, women like to talk. No matter how hard life is, whether she has something on her mind or not, she wants to tell you everything about her. This is the best way for her to love you. If one day, she suddenly becomes quiet, you are on the verge of regret.

27. Love at first sight is romantic but not necessarily lasting. It's hard, but it's harder to be apart. Love at first sight is always related to looks, and love over time is always related to habits. The slower you fall in love with someone, the longer you love him. Love can be short-lived, but it takes time to water the truth. Because it takes a long time to love and a long time to forget ... it takes a lifetime to love and never forget.

28. If someone loves you, put away his stubborn temper. Turn your interest into his. I won't say many things that love you, but I will do many things that love you. Consciously hold your hand when crossing the road. I still can't bear to make you sad when quarreling, even if it's your fault. I am often touched by your thoughtfulness. Please be sure to cherish it. This person, if he misses it, may never be found again.

29. As long as you love someone, you will be willing to change for him. If a person goes his own way in front of you and ignores the behavior you don't like, then he doesn't love you. So if you don't care enough about him or he doesn't care enough about you, then you don't love him or he doesn't love you.

30. In this life, it is good to be together, not because it is inappropriate. Some people you have loved are really just a process. They appear in your life, make you strong, and let you finally know what you want in this life and what you have been pursuing.

3 1. My love for you has nothing to do with you. Even the endless thoughts at night only belong to me and will not be brought to the morning. I love you, it has nothing to do with you. Even if I stand by and stand by you at this moment, I still hide my eyes behind my back and don't want you to see them. I love you, it only belongs to my heart.

32. Those feelings, joy and even being at a loss are best explained by a small gesture. No matter how hard your heart is and how narrow your mind is, it will melt into a trace of sweetness in your memory. Youth is still there. After listening to a few songs and loving a few people, time passed.

33. Once a person loves, he will become extremely fragile: there is no question of considering whether to love while falling in love. That's it. Love that hurts the least is not the best love. When we love, we must take the risk of injury and loss.

Companionship and understanding are more important than love. Feelings for a long time are not love, but dependence. Then when you lose, it's not pain, but giving up. A person's life can be very happy, but only one person can't say happiness.

35. The more people swear to you, the more they lie to you, because the truth needs no corroboration. In the same way, the crazier and more romantic you are, the less you love, because love is insipid and lasting ... the more real it is, the quieter it is. The longer it takes, the more boring it becomes.

35 classic funny quotations

1, God said there should be light, and I said I opposed it, so the world was dark.

2. Every wonderful life has a 2B youth.

3. Rich people are grandfathers! But there are even more people who owe money and don't pay it back!

4. It's not necessarily superman who can fly, nor bird man, but plane!

5, people are not afraid of death, the most afraid is that they don't know how to live!

My future is not a dream, but a nightmare!

7. An old friend resigned from the Yellow Crane Tower and sent a bucket of oil before he left. As he walked, he thought, this boy is really awkward.

8, the peacock desperately opened the screen, but showed his ass!

9. From heaven to hell, I pass by!

10, for those who don't understand, say nothing. ...

1 1. I have done many stupid things, but I don't care. My friends call it self-confidence.

12, there is no way out but to take the bus.

13, take off your clothes, I am an animal, put on your clothes, I am the devil wears Prada!

14. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

15, Grandpa is from grandson. ...

16, men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!

17, it takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.

18, heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!

19, God gave us worldly desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

20. Buddies who are not afraid of God are afraid of friends like dogs.

2 1, I came quietly and left quietly, waving a dagger and leaving no one alive.

22. People can't lower their noble heads, except when picking up money.

23. We have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I hope she treats gold as dung!

24. Good dogs don't get in the way, roadblocks get in the way!

Please raise your left hand if you love me, and raise your middle finger if you love others.

26, the star can be more famous if he takes off a little, but I was caught naked!

27. Now you must look at the object carefully, because there are too many people who are not men and women!

28. I thought about having a holiday every day when I was at school. Now I have a complete holiday, and I want to go to school again!

29. You can't blame gravity if you can't shit. Maybe you are constipated!

30. Zhu Yuanzhang is my uncle. Call him out and ask!

3 1, fake baby milk powder has no grass nutrition, so it was better to eat grass at first!

32. Boy urine can ward off evil spirits, so I decided to sell boy urine to make money. My son is a cash cow!

In order to avoid domestic violence, I decided not to get married!

34. All princes like princesses, and so does the frog prince!

35, the sky is gray and wild, and the wind and grass see cattle and sheep shit!

35 super-classic life quotations, very philosophical.

1 The problems encountered in life are all tailored for you. When you encounter small things, you can count on others; Don't tie your destiny to others when something big happens.

Everyone has potential energy, but it is easy to be covered by habit, blurred by time and consumed by inertia.

3 what attitude to choose if you have any faith; What attitude, there will be what behavior; What actions will produce what results. If you want to get good results, you must choose good beliefs.

It is a fact that the truth is in the hands of a few people, but don't ignore the theory that existence is reasonable. Unless you have a strong determination to change the world, you have to adapt to life.

Face the morning light, not the sunset fantasy.

6 Pay back and be confident.

Don't lose your temper when your mistake is exposed. Don't think that being willful or noisy can cover up or overcome your shortcomings.

It is better for you to accept than complain. There is no better way for you to accept the unchangeable fact.

No matter what you do and who you make friends with, once you are out of your spiritual core, your endless efforts will eventually be the most superficial teasing and cruel abandonment of yourself.

35 super-classic life quotations, very philosophical.

10 Be a strong person, don't show weakness, and don't ask anyone for sympathy. We can be envied, but we don't need sympathy We don't need any sympathy.

1 1 Some opportunities pass by because of instant hesitation, and some fates slip through your fingers because of temporary willfulness. Many feelings are indifferent and irretrievable, only because of different ideas; Many thanks are ashamed to express, buried deep in my heart and become lifelong regrets. So, when you are indecisive, don't be afraid to ask yourself, will you regret it in the future? Please use today's efforts to make tomorrow have no regrets!

12 To admit your greatness is to admit your ignorance.

13 when you are used to a life, you only live one day in your life; If your life is always new, then you will have a wonderful day.

14 life needs games, but it doesn't need dance academy; Life needs singing and dancing, but it doesn't need to be drunk; Life needs art, but it can't be opportunistic; Life needs courage, but not recklessness; Life needs repetition, but it can't be repeated.

15 when analyzing people and things, you should have your own point of view. Without investigation and study, there is no right to speak. In particular, you should have the courage to challenge authority. I predict that authority will be synonymous with ox X in ten years.

16 happiness gives people comfort, but it also gives people an early death; Work can sharpen people, but it can last for a long time.

17 people who praise and admire us are not famous teachers. Those who will tell us and guide us are good teachers, and we will make progress with them.

18 Tiredness is not a kind of incompetence, but a kind of responsibility. No one is always seventeen, but there will always be seventeen. I grew up because I relied on a memory that only I remember. Long enough to face all the ups and downs in the world bravely.

19 time may not prove many things, but it will definitely see through many things.

You see through everything, others can't see through you.

2 1 You'd better accept it rather than reject it.

If you don't have the habit of studying, you are finished. There seems to be no difference between those who study and those who don't. Every month seems to be a small difference; Although the annual gap seems obvious, it seems nothing; But we look at it every five years, which is a huge division of wealth. When we wait until 10, it may be a gap that one life can't reach for another.

Silence is the best answer to slander.

Some things can be changed, so we should try our best to make them better. There are some things we can't change, but we can accept the facts frankly, at least we won't be tired.

The world seen by positive life is sunshine, while the world seen by negative life is darkness; A positive life feels extremely happy, while a negative life only feels a little sad.

Dreams are the starting line of our actions, knowledge is the accelerator of our progress, persistence is the pace of our continuous progress, and wisdom is the magic weapon of our success.

To understand a person, we only need to see whether his starting point and destination are consistent, so we can know whether he is sincere or not.

Feelings are not reciprocal. You care about each other. You don't need to ask if the other person cares about you. You pay, which means you are willing, so you don't have to be wronged.

If you have a selfless love, you have everything.

There are both smooth roads and muddy roads in life; There are both beautiful scenery and traps. Only those who have firm faith and go forward bravely can reach the end of victory.

3 1 It only takes one sentence to destroy a person, but it takes a thousand words to cultivate a person. Please have mercy.

What is happiness? No pain is happiness. What is happiness? Inner happiness is happiness. What is success? Unremitting pursuit is success. What is progress? No stopping is progress. What is sincerity? Seeking truth from facts is sincerity. What is a friend? Helping each other in times of crisis is a friend. What is greatness? It is great to give happiness to others.

It is easier to be satisfied vertically, and it is easier to feel lost horizontally; Satisfied people tend to retreat, and lost people tend to choose to rise.

We should live for happiness, March forward for self-confidence, climb for glory, strive for ideals, devote ourselves to our cause and contribute to our motherland, so as not to waste this life.

Every choice in life is like a gamble, and the winner is your own. The difference lies in the size of the bet. If you choose, you have no chance to go back on your word.