Funny talk about the best circle of friends.

Funny talk about the best circle of friends.

The funny jokes that the circle of friends likes the most. Funny talk also has many different expressions in our daily life. It is also important to poke our jokes. Funny conversations also have many emotional expressions. Let's share the funny jokes that the circle of friends likes the most.

The most popular joke in the circle of friends is 1 1. The interpersonal relationship of girls can be divided into three types: some people can see it without washing their hair, some people can see it after washing their hair, and some people don't want to see it after washing their hair.

2. I have a heart for knowledge, but I have a failed life; I have a heart to lose weight, but I live a life of eating goods. Horizontal criticism: I can't help myself.

It's really useless to talk for two hours when you charge the battery for five minutes, because you can't even talk to someone for five minutes, let alone two hours.

During the military training, the instructor shouted, "aim at your side light!" One of my classmates whispered to me, "Only his bladder grows on his face."

Today, at the class reunion, my friend asked me what my major was, and I smiled. Let me tell you this, remember the future Peking Union Medical College Hospital! This is the whole hospital ... I will do all the cleaning work.

6. Beautiful people are easy to forgive even if they make mistakes; Ugly people can't be forgiven by others because of their looks, let alone make mistakes.

7. I suggest you go to bed early and get up early as possible, don't play online games, don't eat supper, and form good habits. Over time, you will find that you have no friends.

8, two schoolmasters, two schoolmasters, college entrance examination, college entrance examination! One didn't write his name and the other didn't fill in the answer sheet. What an honor! What an honor!

9. "Sir, don't leave for two minutes. I am a salesman of XX wealth management company, and the interest is as high as 15%, so I won't lose money! "

10, I wanted to buy a down jacket, but I spent more than 2000 yuan. Later, after careful weighing, cold medicine is only a few tens of dollars, and it is still cost-effective to buy cold medicine.

1 1, wandering for the first half of my life, cooking soup for the second half, and applying eye cream all night. Beer with medlar, coke with ginseng, drink the strongest wine and take the most expensive ambulance.

12, morning, morning, noon, evening, every day, I'm sorry if I don't change a better keyboard.

13, I used to be scolded by my teammates every day when I played the king. Slowly, my fighting ability has improved, and now I don't scold me because they have already scolded me.

14, I am me, not others, which is an important asset to me. The damage to the soul is the price that people have to pay to the world for this independence.

15, those who look good can be called foodies, and those who don't look good can only be called fools. It is true that ugly people play pranks, because being good-looking and unreasonable is called coquetry.

16 I think, what will happen to me if no one cares about me in this world? Face the world with a smile, or cry away from the future? I don't know.

17, people are in a hurry. If you reply in half a minute, it means I'm peeing. If you reply within a few minutes, it means that I am defecating. If you don't reply within hours, please call me.

18, the most wonderful thing in the world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a catty, grow a catty, and always treat each other sincerely.

19, I: daughter-in-law, tell me about my advantages. Daughter-in-law: You don't need a reason to love someone. Me: What about my shortcomings? Daughter-in-law: lazy, stupid, greedy, short, fat and ugly!

When you encounter misfortune, remember to smile at yourself in the mirror, so that you will find that this misfortune is nothing compared with your strength.

2 1, "In the world of adults, it is not easy except to gain weight." "No, there are ugly and bald. How worried can you be about baldness in your twenties? "

22. Don't talk nonsense after drinking, don't cry, don't make trouble, don't brag, don't make phone calls, and don't send WeChat indiscriminately. Those who can do these five points, you drink a hairy wine and waste money!

23. I lost my bike recently. In order to prevent my bike from being stolen, I installed five locks on it. Needless to say, it really worked, but I didn't lose my car and added two more locks.

24. Some girls don't look weak in appearance, but sometimes they are really heartless. It takes an afternoon to fill a shopping cart carefully, and it can be emptied after it is emptied.

25, good tea is clear and faint, and the more you drink, the more fragrant it is; Good friends are simple, the longer the more true; Good fate is long-lasting, sincere friendship is unforgettable!

26. If marriage is the grave of love, then blind date is to show feng shui to the grave, confession is to dig the grave, marriage is double suicide, empathy is to move the grave, and the third party is to rob the grave!

27. Don't talk about meeting the ideal of the right person at the best age. I just want to get something for nothing at the best age, and I can surf and lie around at any time.

28. Xiong Haizi folded a paper crane and threw it in my face. He said he was playing with angry birds. This child is so cute, no! Does he mean I'm a pig?

29. My friend's brother flew seven meters in a car accident because there was a big schoolbag behind him. He said that this was the first time he found reading useful, and knowledge changed his destiny.

30. When I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers and vowed to have one when I grew up. After 20 years, my dream has finally come true. Anyway, it's time to cook for my wife.

3 1. Is money important? When you are hungry for three days, I will give you one million yuan and a steamed bread. What do you choose? I choose1000000, and then I take out a dollar to buy steamed bread!

Girls, if you have a quarrel with your boyfriend, don't rush to investigate the cause of the quarrel, but find out how he suddenly got up the courage.

33. The most beautiful thing in the world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a catty, grow a catty, and always treat each other sincerely.

After all, I can't outrun that BMW, so I can only watch it go away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

35. On the subway, I heard several aunts talking about having a second child. An aunt said, "You should have a second child. Look at Wu Dalang. If there is no Song Wu, who will avenge him? "

I hope one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a hundred-dollar bill, press "ctrl+c" and keep "ctrl+v".

37. I'm so shy when I meet my parents for the first time. I don't know if my aunt is gentle or not, and my uncle is fierce or not. I'm so nervous. What should I do? After all, I hit people first.

38. Real brothers, no matter how far apart we are, no matter how long we haven't been in touch, even if we change our mobile phone numbers several times, we can always find you when we want to borrow money.

39. An expert pointed out that as long as women spend money regularly, their troubles will be reduced by 80%, and their emotional intelligence and IQ will be improved. I think this expert is very reliable.

40. Don't always come from single dog and single dog. You should be a single turtle by age, a single pig by size, and a single idiot by IQ!

The most popular jokes in friends circle are 2 1 and toilet paper. You can't put anything in the trash can.

I don't know if I should say anything inappropriate, so I won't say it.

3, I think, pointing to your heart, telling you to lose weight. I know, because it's full of me, right, honey?

My wife sings badly. I dance like a man.

My mother said that I must be in your household registration book after many years. Father said, you must have a baby in my house after many years.

6. Homework, let's break up. Let's elope in the summer vacation.

7. He is hers to see who dares to do illegal things. She is hers. See who dares to do bad things.

8. What if there is no lover on Valentine's Day? There are no dead people in Tomb-Sweeping Day. Is it necessary to die another person?

9, run fast, have sugar to eat. If you run slowly, you will die.

10 why do you think our country plays football so badly? ; Physical education class is all occupied by teachers; .

1 1, 60 points for you and 60 points for me. Fifty cents for you and fifty cents for me. Let's chip in.

12, no one came to save you from a broken throat. Break your throat. Break your throat.

13, boys can go shirtless in summer! You can do it too. You don't have breasts anyway!

14, men are not like heroes. Women can't be beautiful without spending money

15, what do you mean? Whose toilet water is this?

16, wife, what do I want? If you don't believe me, you must bang.

17, honey, I did a very manly thing! You pee standing up again! "

18, I have had more boyfriends than you have eaten. Because I am a foreigner, I never eat.

19, Hang Conan, without Kobe Hang Conan. It's hard to fail, but it's hard for Kobe not to fail.

20. Don't give me the glad eye. My wife will let me go back to the washboard. Don't be angry with me, my husband's jealousy will knock me over.

2 1, why are you chasing me? Because you have urgent syrup!

22. How do women say in classical Chinese that Ann can tell if I am a man or a woman?

23. What do you want others to scold you most? Being rich is amazing.

24. What is your normal appearance? Me neither.

What is the cruelest lyric you have ever heard? Build our flesh and blood into our new Great Wall.

26. Come on, you are not alone. You are not alone.

27. How to say biu in English when launching?

I'll marry you as long as my hair reaches my waist, but you are a boy.

Sorry, I'm not interested in killing pigs.

30. What is the plural form of boy? Homosexuality.