Wulin Gaiden fans please come in

1. Lao Bai

●To kneel or not to kneel?

●If the tiger does not show its power, you think I am HELLO KITTY

< p>●Kang Sang Amida MUSIC ~~

●God of Thieves: Is there anyone like you who is a thief? You stole something and you helped clean up the house?

Thief Saint (White): Can we do it without cleaning up? What if people want to follow the footprints?

The God of Thieves: Now that you have the thing, how many days will you play with it and send it back to others?

Thief Saint (White): Can it be done without sending it back? Don’t worry if you lose something! !

●Lao Bai: I’m kidding you~

Shopkeeper: Why don’t you write a sitcom if you have such a sense of humor?

●Acupoint series: < /p>

1 means like a strong wind. Like lightning! !

2 Sunflower acupuncture hand! ``Sunflower acupuncture hand!

3 Find some for you

●Old Bai: He and I are evenly matched ```` ``Everyone made a sign of relief``` I am half a catty of scrap iron and he is eight taels of gold` Everyone fainted

2. Xiangyu

●Hungry, wrong rows, hungry really wrong Column, you should not marry Hungry from the beginning. If Hungry doesn’t marry Hungry, the hungry husband will not die. If the hungry husband doesn’t die, Hungry will not die either.

●Hungry God, God and God< /p>

●Miss Jin, what’s your surname?

●Shopkeeper: If you have money, you are awesome, so you can bully people casually? Put your money in line, go back and get 30,000 taels of silver, let’s fight Let’s see who can hold on.

●Xiang Yu: Lao Xing, where you hesitate is our Qixia Town Yiba (Dad)!

Big Mouth: So shopkeeper, who is the mother of Qixia Town? (At this moment, everyone wants to beat him to death...)

●Tong Xiangyu: What is your goal?

Guo Furong: (fascinated) Become a peerless heroine.

Tong Xiangyu: It’s too far. Let’s talk about something closer.

Guo Furong: (immediately) raise wages!

Tong Xiangyu: (rolling a look) This one is farther than the one just now

3. Scholars

●Zi once said...

●Tang Monk, my Nicholas Tse: "My mother always moves, it’s really hard to find the address!"

4. Guo Furong

●Be sure to go to your own place Road, let others hit D

●I am optimistic about you~~~~

●It will be overwhelming! ````

●It will be overwhelming again. Sea!!

●Looking for you!

●The world is so beautiful but I am so irritable. Isn’t that okay~~~

●Please again, please Pretending to be a lover, go to Korea first

●This judge is thirsty and needs to go to the toilet

●Gouen!!! (=Get out)

5. Xiaoliu (a must-have for Tianjin people)

●Who are you? What is your surname, where you came from, how many people are in your family, how many acres of land per capita, how many cows there are, Talk about it!!

●Take good care of my seventh uncle! ! !

●Take good care of my elder brother’s fiancée’s sister-in-law!

●Take good care of my seventh uncle’s niece’s brother-in-law and second mother-in-law!

●Wushuang is my head catcher

●Very, extremely special and very good!

6. Big Mouth

●Low-key , all low-key!

7. Poetry Adaptation

● Ask the world, is this mountain the highest? A loving baby is like a treasure. If the sky is affectionate, the sky will grow old. I love you so much that I will never forget you.

●Oh oh oh~~~ I was wrong, I was wrong! ! You adults don't remember the faults of villains. The prime minister's belly can punt a boat. The moon is setting and the sky is full of frost. The husband and wife both return the house~~~

●I regret that Guo Jing and Yang Guo are not good at literary talent; Qiao Feng and Duan Yu , slightly old-fashioned.

A generation of great masters, Dongfang is undefeated, he only knows the embroidered birds in his boudoir~~

●The road is long and long, I will go up and down, east, west, north, south, middle and white, and pursue unremittingly

8. Others

●Little things, small things are troublesome, no problem, no problem (Cantonese)

●Are you still using iron pots for cooking? It’s time to change them. Tangmen’s non-stick pots use Sichuan The latest Tangmen different technology, even heat transfer, rapid heating,

Don’t laugh, if you put a little oil, you can cook delicious food, and it is easy to clean and not easy to stick to the pot. You can also buy it now The Tang Sect's exclusive set of secret concealed weapons, come early and get it early, while supplies last. It is available in all major inns and weapon shops.

●Oh my God! Do you have high myopia plus astigmatism or glaucoma and cataract? You are so blind that you don’t want to undergo retinal surgery

●Do you want it?

Do you want it even in your dreams?

Hmm

Then keep dreaming

●Guo Juxia said: This one is a big talker, right?

●Put down the stinky tofu eggs! Release the hostages! This is your only way out!

●Brothers are the limbs of a centipede, and women are winter clothes! ! ! ! ! ! !

●"Objection!"

"Invalid!"

"Objection again!"`

"Invalid again!"

p>

1. "I eat more salt than you eat rice! That's because you are heavy-mouthed! I have crossed more bridges than you have walked! That's because I am too lazy to move!"

2. Lao Xing: "If you eat other people's food, let yourself have your say!"

3. "What are you doing holding the chamber pot? Can't I take a bath?"

< p>5. Wushuang: Just average, the third Hong Kong sister, your dress is attractive.

Guo Furong: Very ugly, the ninth sister is Asia, all because of her dexterous hands.

Guo Furong: Your beauty activates blood and nourishes the skin from the inside out, and is so pure and pure that it makes people pity you.

Wushuang: Your beauty touches the heavens and the earth from bone to skin. This feeling can be remembered forever.

6. "I wish you a long life together and no descendants."

"I wish you have a son soon, and those with white hair will give birth to those with black hair."

7. "Confucius once said: 'It is disrespectful to come and not go back.'"

"Oh, so you molested her?"

8. The scholar asked why he was not allowed to write Spring Festival couplets.

The boss’s wife replied: “Your handwriting is too dry and thin, not festive, so save it for the Qingming Festival.”

9. The boss’s wife: A woman’s happiness is to marry a man. Serve him for the rest of his life.

Guo Furong: Why didn’t he serve me all my life?

Lady Boss: Do you know why you can’t get married?

, hand over the rotten eggs, release the hostages...

2. "Who can avoid being stabbed in the rivers and lakes? Baituoshan Bone Strengthening Powder, for internal use It has miraculous effects when taken externally. After being stabbed, I still want to get stabbed a second time. I eat a pack of Baituoshan Bone Strengthening Powder when I live to be 200 years old. It is the powder of youth and friendship. Huashan Lunjian's designated nutritional supplements are sold in all major drug stores and medical centers in this town. When purchasing, please look for the black toad anti-counterfeiting mark, croak, croak..."

3. Go back to each house and look for it. Moms!

4. “It’s only when you reach the top of the mountain that you realize that there are only a few steps between the wrong road and the right road.”

5. “Sometimes catching a thief is as simple as that.”

6. Lu Xiucai: I stabbed you once and you said four words. I stabbed you twice and you said 36,000 words. Why?

Guo Furong:...

Lu Xiucai: When I stabbed you with the first sword, you said, "My hero, spare my life." When I stabbed you with the second sword, you said, "Thirty-six thousand." A thousand words”! ~

7. "Only when you keep your tail between your legs is you called a knight."

8. "You won't be able to fight for your reputation without steaming steamed buns!"

9. "Your sword" Where is it?"

"The sword is in the heart. What about you?"

"There is no knife in the hand, but there is a knife in the heart.

"

The camera zoomed in, close-up, the two people pulled each other's hair, slapped, and bit each other.

At the same time, they shouted to each other, "Let go, let go!" You put it first! You put it first! ”

10. “Beauty is not discounted”

My sister is beautiful, my sister is discounted

11. The people inside listened, handed over the stinky tofu, and released Hostage!!

12. Are you such a thief? You still clean up the house after stealing things

That’s okay if you don’t clean it up. Do you want to follow the footprints?

Thief God: How many days can you play with the thing and send it back?

Thief Saint: Can you do it without sending it back? Don’t worry about losing things!

13. “Do you think I love money so much? ”

“You are! ”

“I’m ashamed”

“It’s okay if you know how to be ashamed”

“I’m ashamed but happy”

14. The boss’s wife said to Li Da Zui is on hunger strike and confused: "You usually eat even if you are not hungry, but now you are not hungry even if you don't eat for two days?"

15. Mo Xiaobei: Just let me die!

Lady boss: You want to die?! Let’s wait until you finish studying!

16. Xiaomi: What are you doing?

Passerby: A penny?

Xiaomi: Do you know what day it is today?

Passer-by: ...

Xiaomi: Today is the 15th day of the lunar month. It is a holiday for beggars.

The next day, Xiaomi met a passer-by again

Xiaomi: Give me back the money

Passer-by: Don’t you want it?

Xiaomi: Yesterday was fifteen, today is ten Six I go to work

17. Xiaomi: Beggars also have dignity

18. Xiaomi: Why are you grabbing my bowl

Lao Bai: Nonsense, you are the only one on the road If you don’t rob someone, you rob someone else

19. What Li Dazui’s mother said when he was scolding him was quite funny,

His mother: I eat more salt than you eat rice. There are so many~!

Li Dazui: That’s why you are so stubborn~~

My mother: I have crossed more bridges than you have walked~

p>

Li Dazui: That’s because I’m too lazy to move~!

20. Guo Furong praised Xing Baotou: He is truly the best in Qixia Town~! p>Li Dazui: Who is that mother?

21. Xing Captou praised the Yihong Building next door (the name is not like a restaurant),

Xing Captou: We hired ***’s chef;

The boss’s wife: We hired the chef from Yellow Crane Tower

Xing Captou glanced at the boss’s wife,

Lady Boss: Haha, washing dishes is a serious skill~! (ps: Li Dazui used to wash dishes at Huanghe Tower)

Xing Baotou: The wine is authentic Nuerhong ( I can’t remember exactly)

The boss lady: Our wine is self-drinking**, and by the way, the water is not enough~!

Xing Qiao Head: Someone invited a famous big bowl to sing**

Lady boss: We also have lotus flowers falling here, (yelling) Xiaomi, let’s play a part,

Xiaomi (the beggar outside the door) : I’m eating, no time~!

22. I’m so hungry! (Mrs. Boss)

My son! (Lü Qinghou)

< p>Are you sure and affirmative? (Guo Furong)

I do not deny the veto and negation (Lü Qinghou)

It still has some educational significance

23. Xiao Guo: I can’t sing.

It’s okay, Brother Cui is not here, you can lip-sync~~~

24. The shopkeeper also sings:

Lang Jun~

Are you very hungry

If you are very hungry

Tell me, Xiangyu

Xiangyu, I will make fat intestines for you... ..

One of the most classic passages in my opinion:

The scholar said that the dead girl has no life

Endure the calm for a while, and take a step back to destroy the sea

First line: Opposing domestic violence

Second line: Calling for social love

Hengpiao: Don’t talk to strangers

Shopkeeper Tong passed the responsibility to Bao Laobai Ji Wuming chased and killed the scholar. . .

Xiucai: Wait a minute, Zi once said that force cannot solve any problem. (With a serious look on his face)

Everyone: What?

Scholar: Lu Zi. (I guess he is talking about himself)

Ji: How you want to die, I will make it happen for you. There's no need to shout first when making a move next time. Take your life -

Xiucai: Wait - you can kill me, but you have to explain first, in whose hands will I die? (You must be bolder than Lao Bai. He is a bit majestic and unyielding. I have to finish my words even if I die...)

Ji: Nonsense, me.

Xiucai: I...am...who...(deep voice)

Ji: How do I know who you are?

Xiucai said with a smile: Here comes the question...

Ji is confused: What do you mean...

Xiucai: This has to start with the relationship between man and the universe. In your case There has always been a problem haunting you. . . (He finally found someone to give a philosophical speech to)

Ji: What do you mean?

Scholar; me. . yes. . Who

Ji: I already know this

Xiucai: No, you don’t know. You know, who are you? Is Ji Wuming? No, it's just a name, a code name. You can call me Ji Wuming, I can also call you Ji Wuming, they can both. After taking away the code name, who are you?

Ji (a little dizzy): I don’t know, and I don’t need to know

Xiucai (before Ji gets angry): Okay, okay, then you can answer another question for me. ——Who am I?

Ji: This question has already been asked

Xiucai: No, I just asked about my self, now I am asking about myself

Ji: Does it make any difference? (You’re curious, you’ve fallen into the trap.)

Xiucai: For example, when I use my code name to have a conversation, your code name is also me. What does this mean? Does this mean that you are me and I am you...

Ji: This question is meaningless.

Xiucai: Then let’s ask a few meaningful ones. Where did I come from in life and where will I go in death? Why should I appear in this world? What does my presence mean to the world? Did the world choose me, or did I choose the world? (I’m starting to climax)

Ji: That’s enough....

Xiucai: Is there an inevitable connection between me and the universe? Is there an end to the universe? Is there a length of time? Where does the past time disappear? Where does future time stop? Is the question I raise at this moment the same question you mentioned just now? (Alas, how many philosophical masters have gone crazy thinking about these questions? It is normal for Ji Wuming to have knots in his mind)

Ji (his head was so big that he went crazy): I will kill you——

The scholar shouted: Who killed me, and who did I kill (brave...

Shocking countless people)

Ji (stupefied): Did I kill me?

Xiucai: The answer is correct! Let’s do it!

... So Ji Wuming, the top master of the generation, died like this... (suicide, tragic)

Ending

Xiucai: He can't Are you awake again? (Caution)

Old Bai; probably not anymore

Xiao Guo: What kind of statement is this?

Xiucai (touched the shape of his hair, Throw it upward, strike a good pose, and smile slightly): Knowledge is power!

The audience applauded...

Everyone: Xiaobei, where have you been? Everyone is looking for you?

Xiao Bei: I went fishing.

Everyone: What about the fish?

Xiao Bei: The fish are all drowned.

Fortune teller: Then what do you want to calculate?

Xiangyu: Marriage

Fortune teller: I had to calculate this yesterday~

Xiang Yu: Alas, it’s hard for an older young man~~

Shopkeeper Qian was beaten black and blue by Mrs. Qian for hiding three Wen private money. Everyone asked what happened to his eyes?

Shopkeeper Qian: The door is crashing~~

Everyone: Is it possible to hit the door like this?

Shopkeeper Qian: He hit the door first, then bounced back from the door and hit the wall again. The wall was too hard and bounced back and hit the door again...

Old Bai: Don’t do the same thing. endlessly. . .

The shopkeeper: We are not a black shop. . .

Old Bai: I didn’t say I wanted to kill anyone either. . .

The shopkeeper came downstairs with heavy makeup, and Furong was shocked: What happened to you, were you cooked?

Xiucai: If I can forget Xiao Guo, I can go bankrupt

Big Mouth: The key is that you don’t seem to have much property

Tong Xiangyu wants to Marry Lao Bai! ! Xiaobei is unwilling

Sister-in-law: Your brother is dead

Xiaobei: You just can’t marry someone else, you are a member of the Hengshan sect by birth!

Sister-in-law: That’s not alive!

Xiao Bei: Even if you die, you will also be a dead member of the Hengshan Sect!

Sister-in-law: What’s the use of a corpse? !

Xiao Bei: Then you are also the corpse of the Hengshan Sect! ! !

Big Mouth: Who told you to take advantage of me? Who told you to touch my spoon? Who made you jealous?

Wushuang: Is this vinegar?

Big Mouth: This is not vinegar, it is soy sauce! (Taste it)~~~~~~Who asked you to touch me to clean the pot of water!

The shopkeeper (loudly): Big mouth! Big mouth!

No response~~

The shopkeeper (sit down, softly): The wages have been paid

Big Mouth ran out immediately with a smile on his face

p>

Go your own way and let them fight. . .

Shopkeeper: What a talented person! Well, what a smart, capable, and inexpensive scholar~~~~~! (Sad state)

Xian Hui, who can do nothing at home

Shopkeeper: Hungry is wrong, Hungry has been wrongly listed from the beginning ~ Hungry should not have married her in the first place, if If you don’t marry a hungry husband, you won’t die. A hungry husband won’t die. If you’re hungry, you won’t end up in this sad place.............( Sweat~This sentence is so classic~)--------------The shopkeeper

Xiao Guo (take a deep breath): The world is so beautiful, but I am so irritable, okay, okay~~ < /p>

Xiucai: Xiao Guo, how are you doing lately? If there are any difficulties, just say it. If there are no difficulties, just say them! ~!

The first line: After the Year of the Monkey, it is the Year of the Rooster, the second line: After the Year of the Rooster, it is the Year of the Dog, horizontal comment: Year after year, Xiao Guo, everyone applauded, Ji Except for life-_-

It’s so confusing... I’m dizzy

Look for a chance to watch it all~ How can we watch it to be honest

Since a man who is good at disguise has appeared in the town recently, Xiaoliu asked everyone in the inn to prove their identity to each other

Housekeeper: Lao Bai, do you want to marry me

Lao Bai: No< /p>

Everyone: He is real

Lao Bai: Do you want to marry me

The shopkeeper: (angry) No way

Everyone : She is fake (want to flatter her)

The shopkeeper quickly said: Think about it, if you are not careful, your life will be in danger

The shopkeeper: Naihe Bridge is far away< /p>

Lao Bai: You open the window, jump down headfirst, and you will reach Naihe Bridge

Xiao Liu: I will catch the head, and you will run away. . .

Lao Bai: Tangtang Yitang?

Xiao Liu:? Just a waiting room! !

Wushuang: Just average Hong Kong sister, the third best one~I really like your dress

Fu Rong: Very ugly, very ugly, the third best Asian sister, all because of her deft hands

< p>Furong: Your beauty nourishes the skin from the inside out and makes people pity

Wushuang: Your beauty touches the heavens and the earth from the bone to the skin. This feeling can be recalled

Furong: Return your beauty

Wushuang: Return your beauty to your whole family

Fu Rong: You have a good temperament

Wushuang: You have a good figure

< p>Fu Rong: Your skin is good

Wushuang: Your hair is good

Fu Rong: You are good at everything. The only drawback is that you are too eye-catching and can easily cause traffic accidents

p>

Wushuang: Your shortcoming is that you are so perfect that it makes people regret

Fu Rong: Regret or something

Wushuang: I was born in the wrong child and I didn’t get such good DNA.

Senior Brother Furong is going back to marry Junior Sister Lao Bai. The picture shows Lao Bai’s heartbroken face, and the voice-over is the sound of things breaking

Senior Brother Furong: Huh? What's broken?

Lao Bai: (voice-over) My broken boy’s heart (sad, painful and helpless)

Fu Rong: Do you know how my mother tied my father up at home?

Old Bai: Use a dog leash?

Fu Rong and the scholar were angry and threw the dishes to vent their anger

The shopkeeper shouted: This is my property, not your scholar

Xiao Bei said to the shopkeeper: You cowardly wife!

Everyone: Cowardly wife?

Xiao Bei: Men are called cowards, and women are called cowards.

Lao Bai: The following is the world's number one costume variety show.

Everyone: I drag you, I ask you to drag me! !

Fu Rong: I’ll fight her! (Crazy taking off clothes)

Old Bai: What are you doing? It's a mop that mops the floor

Xiucai: You walked quietly just as you came gently, you waved your sleeves and said goodbye,

Lao Bai: Bai Bai? My nickname.

The boss’s wife: How to have both your cake and eat it too?

Xiucai: This is impossible

The boss’s wife: raise a bear that can catch fish

The shopkeeper secretly hid Xiaobei’s letter and was caught by Xiaobei. Guo Jian

Xiao Guo: What if this is an urgent letter?

The shopkeeper: If it is urgent, can you put a chicken feather on the letter? It's obviously a trivial matter

Xiao Bei is going to participate in the Huashan Sword Discussion

Big Mouth: I don't have anything to give you. You can take this rice can. If you haven't eaten anything along the way, If you have enough, go to the streets and get some food. Don’t starve yourself.

Xiao Guo: I’ll give you this dog-beating stick. If you don’t have to compete with wild dogs for food, it’s better to have a guy< /p>

The shopkeeper: This penny is my exclusive sponsorship for you, so be sure to save some money.

Is it enough to go to Huashan? (Looking at Lao Bai)

Lao Bai: That's enough.

Xiucai: (Wiping tears) Take this rope. If you meet a bandit on the way, you can hang yourself on a tree. Can be used.

The shopkeeper: If bandits kidnap you, you must cry and ask the bandits to write a blackmail letter to your sister-in-law. Anything less than ten taels of silver is acceptable. I will ask Lao Bai to redeem you. If it exceeds ten taels of silver, I will personally collect your body.

Xiao Bei: I’m only worth ten taels of silver?

The shopkeeper: That’s it. . . Twenty taels? I can't take out any more.

Lao Bai: Take this bag of black coal ash with you. If you encounter a bandit, use the black coal ash to blacken your face and pretend to be a little black blind man. (Touching Xiaobei’s face) What a great condition for this chubby little face.

Master Yue: Yue Songtao has met Master Mo

Mo Xiaobei: When have you seen me?

Xiaomi: Just in case Master Yue For a moment, he was kind-hearted and gave Xiaobei an opportunity to take advantage of. . .

Big Mouth: Even if you take advantage of her, you will have to crash

Rooftop~

Shopkeeper: What is your goal?

Xiao Guo: Become a female hero!

Shopkeeper: This goal is too far away. Let’s talk about something closer.

Xiao Guo: Increase wages!

Shopkeeper: This one is further away than the one just now~

Wushuang: Your beauty, from bone to skin, touches the heavens and the earth. This feeling can be remembered forever. . . .

If the tiger doesn’t show its power, you think I am HELLO KETTY!

Thief God: Is there anyone like you who is a thief like you? Stealing things and helping others clean up the house

Thief Saint (White): How about not cleaning up? What if people want to follow the footprints?

The God of Thieves: Now that you have the thing, how many days will you play with it and send it back to others?

Thief Saint: Can it be done without sending it back? Don’t worry if you lose something!

Ji Wubing’s intellectual Q&A:

Lu Xiucai: Throughout the ages, who has the best Qinggong? ——Ji Wubing: Cao Cao (Say Cao Cao, Cao Cao will be there)

Lu Xiucai: Who has the most stable stance? ——Ji Wubing: Liu Bei's son (Liu Adou, who can't help him, is called a thousand-jin fall)

Lu Xiucai: Who has the most powerful hidden weapon? ——Ji Wubing: Zhuge Liang (Zhuge Liang killed Ma Su with tears, while others picked leaves and flying flowers, but he flew tears)

Lu Xiucai: Who has the strongest internal strength? ——Ji Wubing: Zhuge Liang (Kong Ming played the piano and defeated Zhongda, invincible with ultrasound)

Lu Xiucai: Who is so boring? ——Ji Wubing: Zhang Fei (Zhang Fei ate the weight and became determined.

Who in the right mind eats that? )

Don’t think of a police officer as a cadre

The painting teacher: Is this Li Kui?

Mo Xiaobei: No, this is Zhang Fei

Teacher: Oh, where is this?

Mo Xiaobei: Yue Fei

Teacher: Where is this?

Mo Xiaobei: Faye Wong

Everyone: What does Faye Wong do?

An extra actor: Singing!

Under what circumstances is 3 +1 less than 1?

Brother Biao: It is less than 1 when the calculation is wrong

Xiucai: Wrong!

Xiao Bei: When my sister-in-law is getting paid!

Shopkeeper Qian: I have a thousand-year-old ginseng at home. If you eat it, you can get your life back

The lady boss waited with tears in her eyes: Thank you so much Ni Lie...

When I opened the bag, I saw five whiskers

Shopkeeper Qian: I ate the ginseng and these five whiskers were left, which was just right. Each of you has one piece... just make do with it

Boss Wife to Xiao Guo 1: Who marries you...it's still very challenging

Boss Wife to Xiao Guo 2: Whoever marries you...does good deeds and does good deeds

Xiao Ji told Xiao Bai that the two of them, Thief of Gods and Thieves of Saints, would protect their capital in one year, make a profit in two years, and make a profit in three years. Financing and listing means going to the busy market to steal. Then everyone will do whatever they want in broad daylight and no one will dare to control him. Then he asked Xiaobai intoxicatedly, what kind of state this should be.

Xiaobai replied : Heaven and earth.

Xiaobai: What is going public?

Xiaoji: Going to the busy market

Bai Zhantang said: We share blessings and share difficulties, then Let’s call it Tongfu Inn

Li Dazui asked: Then why not call it Tongnan?

Speechless. .

Hu Shiniang’s abnormal version of Yangzhou tune:

Lang Jun. ． ． ． ． ．

If you are hungry, tell Shi Niang;

Shi Niang will make you noodle soup, Shi Niang will make you noodle soup.

Hu Shiniang said to Xiaobai affectionately: Is my singing good?

Xiaobai made a sign of pain: OK

Hu Shiniang was overjoyed: Then I will sing one more

Xiaobai started to vomit blood...

Ask whether this mountain is the highest in the world. A child with love is like a treasure. If the sky is affectionate, it will be easy to grow old. I love you so much that I will never forget you. I can't forget your tears, your kindness, your intoxicating lingering, and the faint smell of tobacco on your fingers...

This. . .

The scientific name is pig skin

There are still a few crystal hairs on it. . . .

Xiao Liu: The key lies in six words, time, person and place!

Zhantang: Isn’t this eight words?

This is your mother Earth sword technique?

No swearing!

Is this your mother’s sword technique?

No curse~

You are not Are you saying this is the swordsmanship your mother taught you?

Xiaobai recalled eating bird's nest porridge in the palace and asked Li Dazui to make it

Dazui said: Where can I find it for you? Go to the bird's nest.

Xiaobai said: There is a pig's nest, and the portion is quite sufficient.

With the speed of lightning, it is as fast as breaking the bamboo~~

Lao Bai: My most proud right hand can hold a knife and eat! ! . . . . .

The boss lady was confused about Li Dazui's hunger strike: "You usually eat even if you are not hungry, but now you are not hungry even if you don't eat for two days?"

Fu Rong: Suppose I can shoot with three palms I'll kill you. Every time I clap my hands, you scream "Woman, spare my life". So, may I ask, how many words do you want to say before you die?

Xiucai: I refuse to answer this question.

Fu Rong: That counts as an automatic abstention.

Xiucai: Scream 3 times, 4 words each time, 12 words per sentence.

Furong: Wrong! It’s 9 characters!

Xiucai: Why?

Furong: When the first palm is applied, "The heroine has mercy on her life", there are four words; when the second palm is applied, "The heroine has mercy on her life", there are eight characters.

When you hit the third palm, you will die immediately. You only said one word "ah", 8+1=9.

Hahahaha...

Chicken King Contest

Contest Rules: Exhibition Hall: The weight of the chicken cannot be less than eight pounds

Boss Wife: That is a goose

p>

Zhantang: The tail must be long, not shorter than a certain number of inches (I forgot how much)

Boss Wife: That’s a pheasant

Zhantang: The length of the claws cannot be too low Yu Duochang

The boss’s wife: That’s an eagle

You’ve already given birth to a baby and got a wife, why haven’t you come back yet?

I will die of old age after giving birth to a baby, why don’t I come back

Bai: OK, Xiao Guo, have you learned how to embroider penguins?

Guo: That’s right Mandarin duck!!

Lao Bai: Welcome to this episode of "It's more amazing than not knowing the world"

You are not as happy as I am. Your satisfaction is not as satisfying as mine

Are you satisfied? You can’t hear it if you speak louder

Crowd: Not satisfied!

Lao Bai: OK, then go and stay somewhere cool

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Big Mouth: Hey, how can I do this job after getting stuck again? ?

Shopkeeper: Are you still using an iron pot for cooking? It’s long overdue to replace the Tangmen non-stick pan. It adopts Sichuan’s latest Tangmen copper technology. It has a large heating area and even heat transfer. It heats quickly. If you put a little oil, you can cook delicious Jiayao. It is easy to clean and not easy to stick to the pan. Buy it now. Give away a set of Tangmen's exclusive secret concealed weapon. First come, first served. Available at all major inns and weapons stores while supplies last. Welcome to the news

Big Mouth: Use Tangmen non-stick pan to cook. It's good for you and me.

If you quarrel with your wife, don't do it easily; even if you want to do it, don't beat her to death; if you beat her to death, don't delay treatment; if you are put to death, don't forget Notified us to come to the funeral.

(Everyone was preparing to flee after discovering that the kidnapped prisoner was the Minister of Rites who had Shang Fang's sword)

Xiang Yu: Now that things have happened, there is only one last option left... < /p>

Xiao Liu: What can I do?

Xiang Yu: Thirty-six strategies.

Xiao Liu: What is the thirty-six stratagem?

Xiao Guo (starting to sing): Thirty-six strategies for love~~(Everyone dances at this time) It’s best to take the best strategy~~I want to control the remote control myself~~

Lao Bai: (continues to sing) Don’t think that~~~(stops suddenly and says to Guo and others) I’ve stopped you! (Turns to Xiangyu) Then where are you going?

Xiang Yu: Let’s leave here first. Since we can’t go back to Shaanxi anyway, we can go south all the way to Dali...

Xiao Guo: Oh, Dali is great, the scenery is super~ ~~So beautiful!

Xiangyu: Let’s take a breather in Dali and then go to Myanmar...

Big Mouth: Myanmar is great, and those bananas are delicious!

Xiangyu: If there are still pursuers in Myanmar, let’s go to Thailand...

Xiao Guo: Oh~~The temples in Thailand are super cool~~ ~! Haha

Xiangyu: If we still can’t stay in Thailand, we will turn to the waterway and go to Japan...

Everyone (with a firm attitude, turning their heads, disgusted): No! !

Xiangyu: Then Goryeo...

Everyone (turning around, agreeing): That’s OK.

Xiang Yu: Go all the way north to Siberia and transfer to a sleigh, directly to the Arctic Circle, and then all the way south from Alaska, across the equator, trekking long distances, directly to the permafrost of the Antarctic Circle, and then... < /p>

Everyone: Are you still leaving? !

Xiang Yu: The last step is to arrive at the Antarctic Circle, bring enough dry food and water, take a rocket, fly into space, land on the surface of Mars, and start a new life!

Everyone was intoxicated. . .

Xiucai: What should we do if there are still pursuers when we get to Mars

For a moment, everyone started beating the scholar violently

Xiangyu and Zhantang were there The line about the quarrel over Zhan Honglin.

Xiangyu: Hahahahaha, it made me laugh(e) to death. Why should she arrest me?

Zhantang: You are harboring a fugitive.

Xiang Yu: I didn’t know you were a fugitive.

Zhantang: Who would believe it!

Xiang Yu: Then I’ll beat her to death.

Zhantang: Have you beaten her?

Xiangyu: Isn’t there still you?

Zhantang: I dare not touch her.

Xiang Yu (the look in his eyes was wrong)

Zhantang: I am a person with six doors.

Xiang Yu: I think you are either afraid or unwilling to let go!

Zhantang: What do you mean by being weird?

Xiang Yu: You know what I mean.

Zhantang: She and I really have nothing.

Xiangyu: Who would believe it!

Zhantang: Believe it or not, I don’t care about the trouble here.

Xiang Yu: The can was broken, right?

Zhantang: That’s what I asked you to force me to do.

Xiang Yu: Why don’t you beat me up? There is no way to survive this day.

Zhantang: It’s just that, it’s like throwing pots and bowls into pieces.

Xiang Yu: You heartless thing, I have suffered so much for you and you actually treat me like this.

Zhantang: What are you doing? It hurts. Keep your voice down, don't disturb your children.

Xiangyu: Huh?

Zhantang: What am I talking about?

Xiangyu: It sounds weird

Zhantang: Generally speaking, what is the next word?

Xiang Yu: I want to divorce you

Zi once said: Knowledge is power

Which Zi?

Bacon!

Big mouth asked: "Is it more important, brothers or women?"

Xiucai replied: "Brothers are like brothers and feet, and women are like clothes!"

Big mouth Like: "What a brother!"

The scholar said calmly: "Brothers are like centipede limbs, women are like winter clothes!"

Adjourn the court! I I was a little thirsty and went to the toilet!

The scholar said to 123 (the dog): "Dogs are man's best friend... You are the dog, and I am the human..."... …(the dog is barking)

<>Daily Phrases

When one cannot help but say: If a person wanders in the rivers and lakes, who can avoid getting stabbed?

When the meeting ended, he said: Everyone goes back to his own home and finds his own mother!

When expressing his position, he said: I am sure and affirmative.

When admiring you, say: I am convinced by you, I am defeated by you, I simply worship you...

When seeing something surprising, say "Earth God" "Ah"

If you want to bully someone, say "It's overwhelming"

If you want someone to stop moving, say "Sunflower Point"

If you don't want to work, just cut off the power

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If you interrupt, just say "How nice it is to see the sun tonight"

If you don't agree, just say "If a tiger doesn't show its power, you think I'm HOLLO KITTY"