Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - Notes on Journey to the West (Back 83)
Notes on Journey to the West (Back 83)
Xuanzang was helped out of the cave by the old pig and sand. Lao Sha asked, "Master, you are out. Where's big brother? "
The old pig said, "Hum, my brother is very capable. Will you stay here and change your master yourself? "
Xuanzang pointed to the banshee's belly and said, "Your brother is in her belly."
The old pig smiled and said, "Hey, it's so dirty. What are you doing in her belly? "
Monkey shouted in the banshee's belly, "Open your mouth quickly, I'm coming out."
The banshee immediately opened her mouth, and the monkey climbed to her mouth and was about to come out. She just thought the scene was familiar, and then she thought, "I can't just go out. If she bites me like a green lion, that's bad. " So he took out a stick, propped up the banshee's upper and lower jaws before jumping out, and took the stick back conveniently, revealing his true colors.
When the banshee saw Monkey coming out, she cut it off without saying a word. Monkey took the stick and played for a while.
The two old pigs, neck and neck, muttered to Lao Sha, "Brother, brother, this is nonsense. I could have killed that monster when I was in her belly just now. I am so tired now. "
Old Sand said, "Yes, but thanks to my brother's rescue of Master from the cave, let Master sit here for a while and let's copy the guy."
The old pig waved his hand again and again and said, "no, no, no, brother, we can't."
Old Sand said, "Brother, what are you talking about? Farting will increase the wind. Even if we are not good, we can help. "
The old pig had a whim, grabbed the guy, ignored Xuanzang, and fought the banshee with Lao Sha.
Banshee can barely resist the battle with Monkey Brother alone. At this time, she was immediately defeated by one enemy and three, and she ran away.
Brother Monkey shouted, "Brothers, hurry up!"
When the banshee saw them coming, she did the same thing. She took off her embroidered shoes on her right foot and turned into a breeze. She saw Xuanzang sitting alone at the mouth of the cave, pulling luggage belt's horse back in handfuls.
Suppose the old pig knocked the fake banshee to the ground with a rake, and then it turned out to be an embroidered shoe.
When Monkey saw this, he scolded, "You idiots! If you don't take a good look at master, who asked you to help? "
Old pig seven refuses to accept eight and says angrily, "Hum! Lao Sha, did you hear that? I told you not to come. This monkey is mentally ill. We helped him catch monsters, but he scolded us. "
"Catch monsters?" Asked the monkey. Did you catch it? She used this trick when I hit her yesterday. You both came running. Who's watching master? Let's go and have a look. "
The three men hurried to the mouth of the cave. Not only is Xuanzang gone, but also his luggage and horses are gone. These three people are like ants on hot bricks.
Monkey was sharp-eyed and quick-handed. He saw a half-bridle hanging by the tree, grabbed it and called, "Master! You were here just now, how come you disappeared! "
The old pig couldn't help laughing when he saw the monkey crying.
The Monkey King said angrily, "You idiots! I'm thinking about breaking up again! "
The old pig smiled and said, "Hey, brother, no, no". Master must have been caught in the hole again. As the saying goes, there are only three things. You have been to the cave twice. Going again will definitely save master. "
Monkey wiped his tears and said, "All right, it's not good not to go in. I'm going down, and you two take good care of this hole. " Then he jumped into the cave and came to the gatehouse, only to find that the gatehouse was closed. He opened the door with a stick, and there was silence in the door. Monkey turned around several times, but there was no one there.
It turns out that this cave is 300 miles away from Fiona Fang, and there are many monster nests. Xuanzang was caught here before, but the Monkey King found it, and this time he moved to another place.
Monkey was so angry that he beat his chest and shouted, "Master! Why are you so sad! Where the hell are you! " Just as he shouted, he suddenly smelled a fragrance floating out. He sniffed and said to himself, "This cigarette came out from behind. The master must be behind. " Then he strode past with an iron bar in his hand.
The smoke did come from the back room, but there were no monsters and Xuanzang. There is a sacrificial table, and there is a big incense burner on the table, in which cigarettes are wrapped around. There is a big gold plate on the table, which reads "Your father is the king of Li Tian" and "Your brother is the third prince of Nezha".
Monkey thought he had an idea this time, so he stopped looking for strange things and went out with a memorial tablet incense burner.
Old pig Laosha heard the monkey's laughter, opened a hole to meet the monkey and asked, "Brother, you are so happy. Did you save Master?"
Monkey said with a smile, "We don't need to save it. We just need to take care of this brand."
"Hum! Brother, this brand is not a monster, how can it be given to people? "
Monkey put the tablet on the ground and said, "Look."
Lao Sha leaned over and looked at it and asked, "What does this mean?"
Monkey said, "This is from the monster family. The monster must be Li Tianwang's daughter and Nezha's sister. Fansi pretended to be a monster and took his master away. I didn't ask Li Tianwang who wanted it. You two stay at the mouth of this cave until my grandson brings a tablet to heaven to report the imperial edict and ask Li Tianwang to return it to my master. "
The old pig said, "Hum! Brother, that imperial edict is not just a complaint. You have to think about your story. "
Monkey said with a smile, "I've made up my mind. This flat incense burner is evidence. I will write another complaint. "
The old pig said, "What are you going to write? Tell me about it. "
Monkey cleared his throat and said, "The plaintiff, the Monkey King, is Tang Sanzang's disciple who learned Buddhist scriptures from Tang Xitian. Because the fake monster arrested my master to complain. At present, King Li Jing of Tota and his son Nezha are not disciplined at home. Li Jing's daughter, Fan Si, went to the lower world and became a demon in the bottomless pit of the county, causing countless injuries and taking my master away. Li and his son indulged their daughter into a fine spirit, and asked God to observe the demon and save my master. "
Old pig and old sand nodded again and again and said, "Brother, the accusation is reasonable, powerful and well-founded, and it will certainly work." But you must come back early. If you are late, I'm afraid the monster will kill Master. "
The monkey said, "I am the fastest!" This is going. "
Good Great Sage, holding the memorial tablet incense burner, went straight to the worse gate. When the garrison commander saw it, he bowed down and dared not stop it. Until the arrival of His Royal Highness Tong Ming, the four heavenly kings greeted him and said, "The Great Sage is here. What can I do for you? "
Monkey said, "I want to complain!" "
Shi Tian was surprised and said, "You are a shameless monkey. Do you want to say goodbye to others? " He led Monkey Brother to his Royal Highness Ling Xiao and began to play.
When Monkey saw the Jade Emperor, he put down the memorial tablet incense burner, bowed to the sky and submitted a complaint. Ge Xianweng took it and presented it to the Jade Emperor.
The Jade Emperor read it from beginning to end, took the plaint as an imperial edict, and ordered Taibai Venus to go to Yunlou Palace with the imperial edict to announce the appointment of Li Tianwang.
Monkey stepped forward and said, "I hope the Jade Emperor will punish Li Jing, otherwise I'm afraid there will be much trouble in the future."
The Jade Emperor also ordered: "The plaintiff the Monkey King will also go with Taibai Venus."
"ah? My grandson is going, too? " Brother Monkey scratched his head.
The four heavenly kings said, "Long live, go with Venus."
Monkey had to follow Taibai Venus to Yunlou Palace.
Hearing the boy say that Venus is too white, King Li came out to meet him. He saw Venus holding the imperial edict in his hand and quickly ordered the boy to burn incense. He was about to turn around, but he was furious when he saw Monkey following. He couldn't help saying, "Old Chang Geng, what is your imperial decree?"
Venus said, "Ah, well, it's Sun Shengda's complaint."
Li Tianwang was angry when he saw the monkey. As soon as he heard the word "sue", he flew into a rage and said, "Why did he sue me!"
Venus said, "Ah, let me tell you something about conniving at the arrest of fake monsters in the lower world. You burn incense and see for yourself. "
Li Tianwang angrily set up the incense table, thanked God, opened the imperial edict and read it. He patted the console table angrily and said, "You monkey head! He set me up! "
Venus smiled and said, "Don't be angry. Now he is testifying in court with a memorial tablet and a censer, saying that the monster is your daughter. "
The heavenly king said, "I only have three sons and one daughter. My daughter's name is Zhenying. She just turned seven and doesn't know much about people. How can she be a monster! If you don't believe me, I will show it to you. You monkeys are so rude! Don't say that I am a founding father in the sky, I have the right of preemption, and even ordinary people can't falsely accuse me! Somebody, tie this monkey with a demon rope! "
The giant spirit god, the fish belly general and the medicine fork swarmed in and tied the monkey brother firmly.
Venus quickly dissuaded him: "Li Tianwang, you are in trouble! I'll announce you at headquarters with him. It hurts to tie someone with a rope. It's not good to trap him again. "
"Go ahead," said the heavenly king. "How can you tolerate such a false accusation?" ! Sit down for a while, I'll cut the monkey head with a demon knife, and then I'll go with you to see the coachman! "(Tota Wang just saw Monkey's reaction was extremely abnormal. It turned out that 500 years ago, Li Tianwang led hundreds of heavenly soldiers and failed to help the Monkey King take over the problem. This obviously doesn't make sense. Because the Monkey King invited Li Tianwang as a rescuer when he was fighting with the old man. At that time, the relationship between them was very harmonious, and Li Tianwang kowtowed to the Monkey King from time to time. This time, Li Tianwang was so angry when he saw Monkey, apparently because Monkey denounced the female monster and ruined Li Tianwang's good deeds. So what is the relationship between the female monster and Li Tianwang, and what are their interests? During the book review, we continued to look down and analyze it in detail. )
Venus was startled to see that King Li Tian really used it to cut the demon knife. She said to Monkey, "Look at what you have done. Ah, the imperial edict is prosecuted at will. You sued it without verifying it. Now it really killed you. How can it be good? "
The monkey is not worried at all. He smiled and said, "don't worry, old man, I'm sure I'll be fine." That's what Lao Sun's business does, losing first and winning later. "
Just then, Li Tianwang wielded a knife and cut it according to the monkey head. However, I heard a crunchy clang. Sure enough, Prince Nezha caught up with him, stopped the demon-slaying knife, took a broadsword and shouted, "Father, calm down!"
Li Tianwang was frightened to disgrace! If my son fought against my father's sword, Li Tianwang should have drunk Nezha, so what are you afraid of? It turns out that when Nezha was born, there was a word "which" in his left palm and a word "Yi" in his right palm, so he was called Nezha.
Nezha was very naughty when he was a child. He went to the Dragon Palace and kicked the Crystal Palace over. He grabbed the dragon and used the tendon as a belt. Li Tianwang thought it was a disaster to keep it, so he wanted to kill him and hurt Nezha's biological parents. Nezha was also grumpy. He was quick-witted on the spot and committed suicide. He returned his flesh and blood to his parents, and Shen Yuan went to the West to see the Tathagata. Tathagata saw that the child was lovely, so he read a spell and called Nezha back to life. Later, Nezha made a 96-hole spell, and when there was no one in his eyes, he wanted to kill Li Tianwang. Li Tianwang had no choice but to run for the Tathagata. Based on the principle of attaching importance to harmony, Tathagata gave Li Tianwang a beautiful golden pagoda with Buddha statues on each floor. When Nezha saw that the Buddha had recognized his father, he became enemies with Li Tianwang.
Today, Li Tianwang was idle at home and didn't hold the stupa. He was afraid of Nezha's revenge. This frightened him. He quickly took back his treasure knife, took down the golden pagoda from the tower foundation and held it in his hand. He was relieved and asked Nezha, "Hold my knife, son. What do you have to say? "
Nezha also withdrew his sword and kowtowed, "Father, you really have a daughter in the next life."
Li Tiandao said, "My child, I only have four children left. Where did I get my daughter? "
Nezha said, "Dad, you forget that that daughter was a monster. She stole the Buddha incense candle in Lingshan 300 years ago and refined it. The Buddha sent our father and son to send heavenly soldiers to catch her. Later, when we caught her, we should have killed her, but Tathagata told us to spare her life. Only then did she feel grateful. She worships her father, the king, and her children as brothers, and erected a monument and burned incense in the underworld. I didn't expect that now she is playing tricks and framing Tang Priest. Monkey Sun just caught the evidence and sued the court. It's really not your own, but your sworn daughter. "
Li Tianwang patted his forehead and exclaimed, "Boy, I really forgot. What was her name again? "
Nezha said, "She has three names: a straight golden nose, a white-haired mouse essence, stealing fragrant flowers and candles, and changing her name to semi-Guanyin; Now the lower bound is called Mrs. Diyong. "
Only then did Li Tianwang understand, put down the stupa and personally went forward to understand Monkey.
Monkey said quickly, "No, no, no! I see who dares to untie me! Let's go to see the jade emperor like this, and I can win the lawsuit. "
Panic Li Tianwang legs are soft, Nezha consciously indefensible also speechless, many more afraid to come forward to. Monkey made a scene and went to see the driver noisily. Li Tianwang is really helpless and asks Taibai Venus to fall in love.
Venus said, "Li Tianwang, the ancients said, Ah, I want to see everything in the future. You have gone too far in this matter. You tied up the Great Sage and tried to kill someone without saying anything. This monkey is famous for his high heels. How can I convince him? If it's true, as Prince Nezha said, the monster is not his own daughter, but also his adopted daughter, and you can't get away with it. "
The heavenly king smiled apologetically: "Old Star interceded for me, so I was innocent, right? Haha. "
Venus said, "I want to speak for you, too, but what I say may not be understandable."
The heavenly king said with a smile, "You mentioned the greetings of the Great Sage first. If you tell me, the Great Sage will be grateful. " Li Tianwang means: I know what your plan is when you pursue Ann. If you don't help me, I'll expose you. )
Hearing this, Venus stepped forward, patted the Monkey King with her hand and said, "Great Sage, for my sake, untie the rope, ah."
Without looking away, Monkey said, "Don't worry, old man, I'll just go to the Lingxiao Hall."
Venus smiled and said, "You are a monkey. I used to be very kind to you. Ah, why can't you give me face, huh? "
Monkey asked, "How can you treat me so well?"
Venus said, "When you were a monster in Huaguoshan, God wanted to catch you. It was I who played hard to get to the Jade Emperor, and then I made a decree to win you over. It was also I who played hard to get and made you become the Monkey King. That's why I have the opportunity to eat flat peaches, drink royal wine and eat elixir, and I will never die. Think about it, if it weren't for me, you would be where you are today, huh? "
Monkey sighed, "The ancients were right. Don't be buried with the old man when you die. Find fault if you have nothing to do. I'm just doing a better job than Marvin, going back to heaven. Forget it, just look at your face and let him get to know me in person. "
Only then did Li Tianwang dare to go forward, untie the demon rope with his own hands and respect Monkey to sit down.
Monkey said to Venus, "What's the matter, old man? I said lose first, then win. This is what this transaction must do. Dare to see and urge him to see the driver, don't delay me to save the master. "
Venus smiled and said, "Don't worry, have a cup of tea before you go."
Monkey lied, "well, you drank his tea and got his privacy." You want to release the prisoner, don't you? "
Venus busy way: "line line! Don't drink, even if I have taken the bait. Li Tianwang, let's go! "
Li Tianwang was afraid to go, for fear that the Monkey King would accuse him of having an unknown address and ask Venus to intercede.
Venus said to Monkey, "I have a word. Can you listen to me? "
The Monkey King said, "For your sake, don't tie me up and cut me. Do you have anything else to say? Tell me, I'll listen to you if it's good, or I won't care. "
Venus smiled and said, "You see, it's like this. You said that monster was Li Tianwang's daughter. If Li Tianwang doesn't admit it, you two will argue in the sky and don't talk about it. One day the next year, when you two had finished quarreling, your master would not say that you were married and had a baby. Isn't it all wet? "
Monkey bowed his head and thought, "Not bad! I told old pig and old sand that I would go back soon. I have been in the sky for so long. So what do you say? "
Venus said, "If you want me to tell you, let King Li Tian send some soldiers to subdue the demon with you. Ah, I'll reply myself. "
"What did you say?" Monkey asked.
Venus said, "well, I'll tell you that the plaintiff ran away, so the defendant doesn't have to mention it."
Brother Monkey smiled and said, "Good! I gave you face, but you told the jade emperor that I ran away! Tell him to wait for me at the worse gate, and I will accompany you to see the Jade Emperor. "
King Li was afraid and said to Venus, "If he talks casually here, I will be guilty of cheating you!" "
"Who do you take my old grandson for?" Asked the monkey. A word from a gentleman is a promise, but since he said he wouldn't look for you, how could he frame you? "
Seeing that Monkey was earnest, the Heavenly King thanked Monkey, lit the heavenly soldiers and waited in the evil weather.
The monkey and Venus met the Jade Emperor, and Venus said, "Long live! It was the golden nose and white hair mousetrap that caught the Tang Priest, and he set up the memorial tablet of Li Tianwang and his son by fraud. The heavenly king knows that he has ordered his troops to subdue the devil. "
The Jade Emperor immediately said that Li Tianwang would no longer be held accountable. (The Jade Emperor didn't want to investigate the responsibility of Li Tianwang, so he asked Monkey Brother to take Taibai Venus to find Li Tianwang and let them solve it by themselves, which is equivalent to the judicial process to personal reconciliation. Then why did the Jade Emperor turn a blind eye to Li Tianwang's connivance of the monster's lower bound? We will also analyze it in the book review section. )
Monkey hurried back to the worse gate and found Li, the prince and the heavenly generals waiting there, and they went down together.
Old pig and old sand are eagerly waiting at the mouth of the cave, only to see Monkey Brother and Mountain Soldiers coming.
The old pig greeted Li Tianwang and said, "Thank you! Thank you! " (or an old pig will be a man)
Li Tianwang was a little worried and said, "Marshal Tian Peng, you don't know. It is because my father and son were smelled by a monster that she dared to be so rude and arrest your master. Don't take offense that we are late. This mountain is a hollow mountain? I wonder where the door of that cave is? "
"I know," Monkey said. . "Isn't there a hole in the ground? This is a bottomless pit. It's over 300 miles inside. There are too many monster nests. Now I don't know where to hide my master. "
Li Tianwang: "I don't think she can escape from the tight encirclement."
When everyone came to the cave, Li Tianwang said, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained, who dares to stand out!" "
"I'll do it," Monkey said. I'll do it. "
Nezha stepped forward and said, "I have been ordered to subdue the demon, and I will take the lead."
The old pig was also very excited and said, "Hum! The first thing to do is my old pig. "
The heavenly king waved his hand and said, "Don't argue, I'll arrange it. Sun and the prince led the troops down the mountain together, and the three of us guarded the cave so that the monsters could see what they were capable of. "
Everyone agreed: "Yes!"
The Monkey King and Nezha went down to the cave with their soldiers and searched everywhere. They covered almost 300 miles of Fiona Fang, but there were no signs of monsters or Xuanzang.
"Could that monster have been out of the hole long ago?" asked the heavenly soldier.
It turned out that the banshee was hiding in a dark cave in the southeast with Xuanzang and the little monster, thinking that the monkey could not be found, and when the wind passed, she married Xuanzang. Just then, a few unlucky little monsters poked around in the cave to observe the situation outside, and they were just hit by a mountain soldier and shouted, "Here we are!" " Come here! "
When the Monkey King heard the sound of malicious attack, he waved his stick and broke into the hole. He saw a group of monsters nesting in it, and they were all blocked by Nezha and the mountain soldiers who came in later. Xuanzang and Baima's luggage are also here.
When the banshee saw Nezha, she knelt down and kowtowed for mercy.
Nezha said, "I came to arrest you on orders from the Jade Emperor, not because you said you would spare your life. Our father and son were almost implicated because you sniffed them out! " So he ordered: "Somebody, tie these monsters with demon ropes!" "
Everybody out of the cave together. When the heavenly king saw Monkey coming out smiling, he greeted him and said, "Great Sage, I will save your master. Go and see him. "
"Thank you, thank you!" Said the monkey. I met Xuanzang and took him to thank Heavenly King and Nezha.
The old pig and Lao Sha just wanted to kill the banshee. The heavenly king said, "Gentlemen, this monster was arrested on orders. I have to take her back to work." So he bid farewell to Master Xuanzang, took Nezha and the heavenly generals, and returned to heaven with genies.
Monkey helped Xuanzang, Lao Zhu and Lao Sha pack their luggage and horses, and the four of them continued westward to find the main road.
Exactly: cut off the golden sea, unlock the jade and come out.
Listen to the next decomposition.
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