Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - Sanchakou, talk about it.

Sanchakou, talk about it.

After the traditional cross talk "Geographical Map", there is a passage like this:

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As soon as I went out, I ran to the southeast corner.

Southeast corner of B.

Jiadongmen Official Bank, Beihai Building, Jia Guihu Tong, Wanshou Palace, Beidaguan, Hebei Avenue, Dahongqiao, Zhuangzixi, T-house, Nancang Beicang, Pukou, Hangong, Taohuakou, Yangcun, Caicun, Hexi Affairs, Anping Wharf, Zhangjiawan, Tongxian County, Bali Bridge, Qihuamen, and Dongsi Pailou Beijing Bridge.

ma sanli

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, Huailai County, Shacheng, Baoan, Xiahuayuan, New Zhuangzi, Xuanhua, Shalingzi, Ningyuan, Zhangjiakou, Chaigou, Xiwan, Tianzhen, Yanggao County, Julebao, Zhoushizhuang, Datong, Gushan, Fengzhen, Jining, Pingdiquan, Sanchakou, Eighteen Stations, Table Mountain, Sandaoying,

B arrived in Ningxia.

Yinchuan, crossing Zhongning, passes through Gansu, Lanzhou, Xining, Liangzhou, Yongchang, Linze, Jiuquan, Yumen, Orangutan Gorge, Hami, Bali, Kunmu, Urumqi, Dabancheng, Korla, March, Kuqa, Wensu, Zepu and Kunlun Mountain in Xinjiang.

B has arrived at Kunlun Mountain.

Nyalam, Tashilhunpo, Doraben, Tian Quan, Qaidam, Shaer to Lhasa, Zhu Mo, Gongka, Lari and Chaiduomu in Tibet are all Batang, Litang and Yalong River.

B arrived in Yalong River.

Jiadahe, crossing Luding Bridge, crossing Chengdu, Sichuan, passing Jianyang, Ziyang, Longchang and Yongchuan to Chongqing, Zunyi and Guiyang in Guizhou, Kunming, Wenshan and Yanshan in Yunnan to Nanning, Liuzhou, Yangshuo and Guilin in Guangxi, Hengyang and Zhuzhou in Hunan to Changsha, Shashi, Hanyang and Wushengguan in Hubei, Xinyang and Zhumadian in Henan.

B has arrived in Yan 'an.

A From Longmen, Yuci County, Taiyuan City, Shouyang, Pingding District, Yangquan City, Jingxing City, Shijiazhuang City, Xinle City, Baoding City, Shenzhou City, Wu, Rao, An, Hejian City, Cangzhou, Nanpi, Dongguang, Dezhou, Pingyuan, Yucheng City, Jinan City, Dangjiazhuang, Yucheng City.

B is in Shanghai again.

Children's oral performance

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A Take Songjiang, Jiaxing, Shaoxing, Hangzhou and Jinhua to Jiangxi, Yongfeng and Ruijin to Fujian, Qingzhou, Liancheng, Sanyuan, Nanping, Fuzhou, Quanzhou, Jinmen and Xiamen to Shantou, Guangzhou, Leizhou and Hainan Island in Guangdong, and Kowloon to Hong Kong and Hanoi in Vietnam.

B went abroad.

Vientiane, Laos, Bangkok, Thailand, Yangon, Myanmar, Bangladesh, Kolkata, Mumbai, India, New Delhi, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Ankara, Turkey, Black Sea to Ukraine, Stalingrad, Leningrad, Moscow, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Baltic Sea to Finland, Stockholm, Sweden and Norway. Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, Sofia, Greece, Albania, Yugoslavia, Italy, Switzerland, Rama, Marseille, France, Mediterranean, Gibraltar, Portugal, Madrid, Spain.

B has arrived in London.

England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Iceland crossed the Atlantic to America and went to Quebec, Newfoundland, Boston, new york, Washington, Chicago, San Francisco, Mexico, Central Armenia, Guatemala, Honduras, Ecuador, Nicaragua, Colombia, Bolivia, Guyana, Brazil, Peru, Uruguay, Buenos Aires, Argentina, Santiago de Chile, Magellan and Melbourne, Australia. Cross Oceania to Tunisia, Morocco, Algeria, Libya, Egypt, Sudan, Ethiopia, Mozambique, Madagascar, to Nanyang Islands, Sumatra, Java, Malaysia, Manila, Philippines, Luzon to Kyushu, Shimonoseki, Nagasaki, Hiroshima, Tokyo, Osaka, Nagoya, Hokkaido, Kuril Islands, Sakhalin Island and kamchatka peninsula, Japan and North Korea.

B has returned to China.

Crosstalk actor Ma Ji

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Zoujia Tonghua, Meihekou, Changchun, Yanji, Shuanghe Town, Ning 'an, Mudanjiang, Linkou, Jiamusi, Mulan, Bayan, Harbin, Qiqihar, Baktu, Hailar, Manzhouli, Hulunbeier, Aershan, Ulanhot, Kaiyuan, Tieling, Shishan, Daixinchengzi, Wenguantun, Huanggutun, Xinmin County, Shenyang.

A We can walk.

B it's too tired to walk.

It doesn't matter whether you are tired or not.

What's the matter?

One, you cheated on me.

B I (end)

This "geographical map" is the "mouth", which is also expressed by two actors, Doudou and Bangdou. Because "funny" actors often use a series of stacked clauses to describe many nouns to "funny" actors in the performance process, they are used to calling it "through the mouth". Its narrative method is to say a long string in one breath, cadence and sonority.

Vegetable newspaper name

The famous "registration" in traditional cross talk (formerly known as "Man-Han Banquet") has long been a household name and has the characteristics of "infiltration". Look at one of the paragraphs:

Pass performance

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Take your time. What's next?

The first one behind the nail is steamed mutton.

B this is a tonic!

Steamed bear's paw, steamed deer's tail, roast duck, roast chicken, roasted goose, braised pig, braised duck, braised chicken, bacon, pine flower, small belly, braised pork, sausage, assorted crisp plate, smoked chicken with white belly, steamed eight-treasure pig, glutinous rice stuffed duck, canned pheasant, canned quail, stewed meat and roasted goose. Pan-fried carp, steamed turtle, fried tenderloin, fried prawns, soft fried tenderloin, soft fried chicken, assorted casings, crispy rice rolls, stewed western Western jackdaw, fried fresh mushrooms, fried preserved fish, fried fish maw, sliced pork in vinegar, stewed three fresh, stewed white mushrooms, stewed pigeon eggs and fried whitebait. Braised sea cucumber, stir-fried tendon, pot-cooked sea cucumber, pot-cooked cabbage, fried sea ear, roasted frog, osmanthus wing, steamed wing, fried bird, fried sauce, fried ribs, steamed scallop, sugar-fried glutinous rice, shredded chicken, shredded pork belly, assorted tofu, assorted diced meat, rotten shrimp and rotten crab.

B you can't eat it.

There are red meatballs, white meatballs, fried meatballs, fried meatballs, south fried meatballs, mushu meatballs, fried meatballs, tofu meatballs, Sam Sun meatballs, Four Joy Meetballs, fresh shrimp meatballs, preserved fish meatballs, yipin meatballs and yipin meat. Braised red meat, braised white meat, cherry meat, horse tooth meat, lotus leaf meat, jar meat, Fulu meat, Yuanbao meat, braised pork, pine nut meat, canned meat, barbecue, barbecue, white meat, soy bean curd, red elbow, white elbow, smoked elbow, soy elbow and crystal elbow. Chestnut chicken, fried carp, crucian carp in sauce, live-drilled carp, dried salted duck, cheese chicken, braised navel, fried belly, salted elbow flower, pot-roasted trotters, roasted liver tips, roasted pork intestines, poured heart, roasted lung, roasted laver, roasted lotus root, roasted baogai, fried lung, shredded pickles, diced pheasant, fried pork belly, fried pork belly and fried pork belly. Almond cheese, fried crab, tortoise shell, assorted glutinous rice, toad fish, grilled hairtail, crucian carp, yellow croaker, grilled sea cucumber, roasted bird's nest, roasted chicken leg, roasted chicken, barbecue, roasted gluten, roasted three kinds, spilled meat in oil, fried meat in sauce, fried shrimp Huang Er, fried crab roe and fried crab. Stir-fried vermicelli, Muxucai, boiled clove, boiled meat, boiled white meat, spicy pheasant, shredded salted meat, shredded white meat, water chestnut, yipin pot, stewed lotus seeds, pickled cabbage, roasted radish, stewed tremella, fried silver branches and eight-treasure hazelnut sauce.

Pass performance

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B drink! This dish is really quite a lot.

Do you like it?

B likes to eat.

A loves to eat but can't eat.

B what?

I have no money with me. (Applause)

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One of the dishes in the above "registration" is the "gateway". In the past, when cross talk actors were studying art, lip training, tooth training, mouth training and mouth training were the basic skills.

Besides, since Mr. Ma Lisan is a Muslim, another page in the newspaper now reads: "Steamed deer tail, roast duck, roast chicken, roast goose, braised pig, braised duck, chicken in soy sauce, bacon, pine flowers, small belly, dried meat and sausage". Assorted Pan Suer, white-bellied smoked chicken, steamed eight-treasure pig, braised duck rice, canned pheasant, canned quail, stewed meat, stewed goose, pheasant, preserved rabbit, pickled python, whitebait, steamed hash marsh, stewed shredded duck, stewed duck fillet, stewed duck strips, stewed shredded duck, yellow heart tube, stewed white eel and stewed duck. Pan-fried fish breast, pan-fried fish belly, pan-fried fish bones, pan-fried fish slices, vinegar-fried meat slices, braised Sam Sun, braised white mushrooms, braised pigeon eggs, fried silver thread, braised eel, fried white shrimp, braised green clam (? ) fried noodles fish (? ) Fried bamboo shoots, hibiscus flowers, fried shrimps, stewed shrimps, stewed kidney flowers, stewed sea cucumbers, pot-cooked sea cucumbers, pot-cooked cabbage, fried ears, fried frogs, osmanthus wings, steamed wings, fried birds, fried slices, fried ribs, steamed scallops, fried glutinous rice with sugar, shredded chicken with assorted vegetables, etc. There are red meatballs, white meatballs, fried meatballs, fried meatballs, south fried meatballs, Four Joy Meetballs, fresh shrimp meatballs, preserved fish meatballs, fried meatballs, bean curd meatballs, fried meatballs, yipin meat, cherry meat, horse tooth meat, braised red meat, braised yellow meat and jar meat. Sauced tofu meat, red elbow, white elbow, crystal elbow, beeswax elbow, bean curd elbow, roast elbow, stewed mutton, braised mutton, roasted mutton, spiced mutton, fried mutton, roasted mutton, fried three kinds, braised three kinds, braised silver wire, stewed eggs, stir-fried white chop suey and three fresh shark fins.

Master Shaoma often uses it, which is what Deyun Society uses. There are two kinds of "oral" jokes, one is to describe many things in a narrative way. One is the process of describing many things in the first person.

The third-person narration is used to express the "infiltration" of things, mainly in the process of telling a story, and many other things are described continuously. These things are used to explain or enrich the details of the original story, or show that these details are inseparable from the original story.

Les gorilles

For example, the traditional cross talk "Bodyguard" tells the story of a bodyguard contest by chatting.

In order to show off his mastery of all 18 kinds of martial arts, the "funny" actor kept boasting that he could use any weapon. One of the highlights:

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We all practiced.

Comments on infiltration

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Where are you?

A: Ah.

B: What have you practiced?

I'll call you back.

B yes.

Armor knives, guns, swords, halberds, axes, cymbals, hooks, forks, whips, hammers, hammers, scratching, boring, sticks, sticks, crutches, meteors, anything with hooks, blades, tips, wings and Emei needles.

B proficient.

Relax. (Laughter)

Los Angeles International Airport. ! What's the point of practicing?

Who is lax? They relaxed.

B where are you?

A: I am proficient.

B proficient.

Eighteen weapons are in front of me.

B.

I can also say that-

B practiced.

A is for sale.

B I'll sell it, too.

A why sell it?

B didn't you say you sold it?

A show off your posture.

B that's it.

This is a weapon.

Where's the fist?

Fists are hard to practice.

oh

A is divided into internal boxing and external boxing.

What is family boxing?

Jia Wuji, You Ji, Huang Ji, Tai Chi, two instruments, four images, form and meaning, gossip, this is called Neijia Quan.

B, what about Waijiaquan?

A Shaolin temple boxing, flower boxing, red boxing, little red boxing, eight immortals boxing, ground boxing, arhat boxing, practicing long boxing far away, practicing short boxing near, and monkey boxing on a small shelf. (action)

B that's like a monkey. (Laughter)

One shot high, dare to say like walking on the ground.

Where are you?

What I practice is: cats pounce on dogs, rabbits roll eagles, toads jump and camels jump.

What kind of kung fu is this? Practice this?

After showing off his martial arts, A boasted that he had been asked to be a bodyguard.

A took the box and saw an invitation in it.

Where does B come from?

Li Rang, shopkeeper of Hui You Escort Agency, Qianmen Food Store, Beijing, we protect the escort.

B it's time for you to play.

I have to go.

B yes.

A: I said you go first and my brother and I will follow.

B yes.

A In the backyard, we discussed it with my brother. We quickly packed our luggage, took our personal belongings and went straight to the escort agency in Hui You, a grain store outside Qianmen, and took a look at the door of the escort agency.

How about b?

Heroes from all walks of life came out to meet our brothers.

Wow!

A: They are heroes of three mountains and five mountains, and heroes from all directions. They are really tall, short, short, fat, thin, ugly and handsome. It is really red as blood, black as iron, white as snow and yellow as crab. That's a big head, a big neck and chest, big legs and big feet, and coughing is the smell of kicking: bam!

B what's going on! (Laughter)

A kung fu.

B practiced.

There is an old official in the middle of Jiadang, who is over eighty years old and has white hair and beard. When he saw our brother coming, he hurried forward with his fists in his hands-

What did b say?

A: "I didn't know that the two brave men had arrived and didn't go far to meet them." I apologize in person. "

What's your answer?

A I said, "How dare you? My family is reckless. Please forgive me, Master Tian!" "(Laughter)

B Ah, why is Huang Jintai on again?

A I remember the play.

He knows everything.

A: We had a polite talk with the old official, and went through the second door to the escort agency.

How about b?

A needs to practice for others.

B practice.

A must show it to someone.

B: That's right.

Looking back, there are eighteen weapons. My brother reached for a big gun.

Oh, big gun.

First, this thing has a size.

How old is b?

Seven feet is a gun and Qi Mei is a stick. Lin's gun is ten feet eight inches, one inch long and one inch strong, and one inch small and one inch clever. A big gun is the master of a hundred spears, a broadsword is the bone of a hundred spears, fireworks are the marrow of a hundred spears, a single knife is the courage of a hundred spears, a nod is the teacher of a hundred spears, and a hand guard hook accounts for four words-

What four words?

A span, frame, cover and block. My brother is a thong. Come on, let's take a trip to Liuhe Gun.

B What is liuhe gun?

A is divided into inner triad and outer triad.

Three in one?

A heart and gallbladder.

Three in one?

One hand, one foot and one eye.

Anything nice to say?

A of course. A little eyebrow pricks the heart, three pricks the navel, four pricks the coquettish, five pricks the knee and six feet, and seven pricks the shoulder and neck. (Laughter)

Please wait a moment. He used me as a gun target.

A: This is a gesture.

B I can't stand your gestures!

The armor player is a gun, which is very good. The front handle is a gun, the rear handle is a rudder, and the big pole accounts for six words.

Which six words?

Nail collapse, steak, pressure, belt, pick and tie. After practice, my brother got angry and kept his face unchanged.

B good kung fu.

Everyone is clapping and drinking.

B you should go.

A: He's finished practicing. Look at me!

B Do you still practice guns?

A: I'll practice the gun again. That is the face of thousands of people.

B thousands of people eat noodles, how much halogen is needed!

What's that called?

B that's 1000 people.

A that's boring. You don't practice guns.

Where are you?

Armor reached for a knife.

B single knife.

Look at your hands with a single knife, elbows with both hands, and rolling hands with a big knife. I'm going to fight all night and hide the knife.

B what a gesture! (Laughter)

A: You don't understand. Why do you stretch yourself?

B I don't know.

A there is a saying. Posture, all by posture, no posture-

B: That's right.

A no posture-

How about b?

A is not a posture.

oh

All talk and no practice-

How about b?

It's called mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

B not bad.

An easy exercise won't say-

How about b?

That's stupid.

B: That's right.

A Lian Dai said-

Materials provided by Company B-

How much did you pay?

Take it.

A How do you sell Hercules Pills? (Laughter)

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It can be seen from this passage in "Bodyguard" that only one breath is narrated through the mouth, and it sounds vivid. If "bang bang" interjects, even the general mezzanine, it will not only make this narrative more vivid, but will interrupt the artistic conception of "teasing the eyes", which will lead to gild the lily and affect the artistic effect.

This kind of "transparency" is basically the same as "one-headed sinking" in expressing things, so it also has the characteristics of "one-headed sinking"

Another expression of "infiltration" is that when two people are arguing with each other in the narrative, one of them borrows many other stories, mainly to make the characters in this joke stand out. This kind of "penetration" is basically similar to "mother and child", so it also has the characteristics of "mother and child" in performance.

The long narrative in Guankou is generally called Tanzi. When speaking, we must pay attention to the slow and abrupt tone, euphemistic and melodious tone, and speak quickly without disorder, slowly and continuously, so as not to cause psychological tension among the audience and actors. When talking about the "jar", we should also pay attention to mastering the "air port", that is, where to take a breath, so that the audience can feel the continuity and continuity of emotions. Just like singing, you must breathe where there are breath marks. Otherwise, there will be discontinuity. Of course, this requires teachers' guidance and exploration in practice. If you can't find the "air port" correctly or not, the actor will blush and have a thick neck during the long journey, which will increase the psychological burden of the audience and affect the artistic effect of the performance.

Eight fan screen wind

In the traditional cross talk "eight fan screens", there is a "journey":

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I told you, don't argue with me. I am a reckless person who can't speak.

Yes! What did you say you were?

B I was reckless.

Reckless person?

B.

You can't compete.

What, I can't compete with reckless people?

Jia Xun is another ancient man.

B I don't know.

I don't know, that's good-

Party A and Party B (together) talk, listen and think-when-at the beginning-

B, I'm unlucky enough to think about it here! (Laughter)

In the Three Kingdoms of the Han Dynasty, there was a foolish man. Since Taoyuan Sanjieyi, my uncle's surname is Liu Mingbei, and his name is Xuande. He lives in Dashulou Sang. The second brother is Guan Mingyu, who lives in Xie Liang County, Zhou Pu, Shaanxi Province. The third brother is surnamed Zhang and lives in Fanyang County, Zhuozhou. The fourth brother, surnamed Zhao Ming Yun Zilong, lived in Changshan County, the calm government, and was called the ever-victorious general. Because of a fierce battle in front of Changbanpo, Zhao Yun broke into Cao Ying single-handedly, cut down two big moves and captured three big moves alive, and his horse fell into the pit, which was like wasting his life. I saw a young man in white with a white helmet and a white flag on the top of the mountain, boarded Bai, and held a bright silver gun in one hand. He is really a brave general with love in his heart. Xu Shu secretly protected Zhao Yun, but Xu Shu didn't say a word when he entered Cao Ying. Today, when I saw General Zhao's horse fall into the pit, I paid tribute to the Prime Minister and said, "Do you care?" Cao Cao said, "Exactly." Xu Shu said, "Why not take this general in?" Cao Cao quickly gave an order: "Make the mountain shake so that the three armies can hear clearly. I want Zhao Yun alive, not Zilong dead. If one soldier and one soldier will hurt General Zhao's life, 830,000 people will fight it alone. " As soon as this order came out, Cao Bing had to retreat and did not dare to move forward. Zhaoyun was pregnant with a young master in one battle, and he was always braver than the general in the second battle, making him break through the encirclement. When Cao Cao saw this, how could he let go of it? After catching up with Dangyang Bridge, Zhang Fei arrived and shouted, "Fourth Brother, don't panic. It doesn't matter if someone is here! " After letting Zhao Yun pass, Cao Cao arrived and Zhao Yun was not there. He saw a big black-faced man standing on the bridge. Cao Cao quickly asked Xia Houdun, "Who is this big black-faced man?" Xia Houdun said, "He is Zhang Fei, a reckless man." Cao Cao was shocked: Guan Gong told me that he had a sworn third brother named Zhang Feiming and Yi De when he was beheading Yan Liang in Bai Mapo. In the millions of troops, he is as brave as looking for something in his head. "Take off an umbrella cover of Luo Qingjia's house, and see how the martial arts of the barbarian are?" When Luo Qing's umbrella cover was lifted, I saw that Zhang Fei's leopard head was round, and his face was like polished iron, with light in black and darkness in light. A Kurogane moustache, like a steel needle and a wire, is wearing a shiny iron helmet, a dragon treasure Zhu Yingpiao, an umbrella cover embedded with eight treasures, a flowerpot ichthyosaur and a lock. With you here today, you are an ordinary man, whether you attack or fight, whether you advance or retreat, or fight or fight. "Cao Jun was scared to drink, followed by two cups, and drank three cups of Dangyang Bridge. Later generations have a poem praising: Changbanpo saved Zhao Yun and scared off Cao Cao's millions of troops. His surname is Zhang, and he has been a fool for generations. (Applause)

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Eight Fan Screen is a typical "word of mouth", which has many similarities with traditional cross talk, such as "Opening a porridge factory" and "Kwai Jia" and so on.

Dig for treasure

There is a similar "infiltration" in the new cross talk with modern themes, such as "Digging for Treasure", which is very representative:

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A In that case, let me tell you something.

Line B.

Nail organ pharmacy, the drugs that have been produced are ... hey, you can count.

B is ready.

An insulin extracted from pig pancreas.

One.

An antibacterial agent prepared from fel Sus Domestica.

Two kinds.

Jiayouganjing injection, vasodilator, compound arterial powder, sugar-coated placenta tablets.

B six kinds.

Jiajiangu tablets, prolactin tablets, multienzyme tablets, calcium tablets, thyroid tablets.

B eleven kinds.

Nail thymus powder, breast powder, serum powder, spleen powder, lung powder, liver extract powder, posterior leaf hemostatic powder.

B eighteen kinds.

A+ blood pressure hormone, nourishing hormone, thyroxine, hydrolyzed heparin, folin, auxin, bilirubin, biliverdin, biliflavin, oxytocin, prolactin, follicle-stimulating hormone, adrenocorticotropic hormone, luteinizing hormone, secretin and gastrin.

B more than thirty kinds. (Laughter)

Chymosin, trypsin, pepsin, pancreatin, pepsin, elastase, hyaluronidase, neutral protease, bile enzyme, ribozyme, heparin sodium, gallbladder ointment, heparin, Folium Pini, cholesterol, cephalin, plasma, histamine, vitamin B, cytochrome C, liver B 12 and fat. Peptone, pigskin gelatin, blood pressure level, pigskin hemostatic sponge, pig hair cystine tablets, pig blood hydrolyzed protein, pig throat bone chondroitin sulfate ... How much is it?

B can't count. (Applause)