How to provide the most needed help for children's spiritual growth?

-Today's small-class teaching in schools is shared. Families in Li Xi are basically only children. This "only child" naturally becomes the focus of attention. The star of the whole family, everyone wants to pay more love to this child. So the headmaster's blog post lists some ridiculous examples: 18-year-old girls who can't wipe their bottoms, college students who can't live independently without their parents, and children who can only eat eggs with shells but don't know their true colors ... In the name of "love", children are losing their basic behavioral ability as human beings. The famous Soviet educator Suhomlinski once said, "Even hens can love their children." There is no denying that there are some common needs between humans and animals, such as food to keep the body running. But the difference is that animal parents will make their children have the ability to survive very early. For example, calves can stand and walk when they are born, leopards can hunt independently in two or three years, and it takes almost the longest time for people to be independent. On the other hand, in the spiritual field, people have more room for improvement than animals. Whether adults or children, the happiness of life needs spiritual food and spiritual growth. The reality is that adults "can't bear" to let their children be independent as soon as possible, so they take care of their daily necessities and arrange a comfortable life for them. At the same time, children's spiritual world and spiritual growth needs are often ignored, and the main topic with children is always inseparable from "eating well, wearing warm clothes and learning well". Every child is eager to grow up, and in this way, the child's behavioral ability and mind can't be improved accordingly, so there are many "retarded, unwilling and unhappy" children. The educational aim of today's schools is to "teach their minds and nurture their bodies", and the core is psychological and behavioral education. Teachers are required to pay attention to children's behavior from the outside, and pay attention to children's heart from the inside, and make adjustments from these two angles, so that children can show good behavior and improve their emotions at the same time. Many friends learned about the various states of a group of children through psychological and behavioral adjustment in school through class blogs. As the smallest class in the school, the average age of the children in Class Four is eight or nine years old. Parents may be concerned: for children of this age, due to their limited understanding of thinking and insufficient psychological maturity, how can they better enter their hearts and find out what they need most? What kind of language can they accept and understand after discovering the problem? According to the school's exploration in small class teaching, children should not be "reasonable" in the tone of adults, but should respect their psychology and guide them to understand step by step in a way suitable for them. Teachers often discuss that teaching children is a delicate "work of art", and we need to "translate" what we are used to into lively stories (to make children willing to listen and absorb) and let children taste what is behind the stories (to make children digest and use). After mastering this principle, we can find thousands of ways to provide them with appropriate help. Then, in school, how to guide children in small classes to be aware of psychological behavior and gradually adjust? Let's look at two real teaching cases. Teaching Case 1: Recognize the voice in your heart-the story of the good wolf and the bad wolf. A good wolf and a bad wolf are a metaphor. In psychology, the evil wolf is the "self" of human beings, representing the self with insufficient self-identity. The "ego" likes to seek self-identity from the outside in various ways, making up many stories in his mind, making people listen to such voices, keeping people away from peace and joy and living a more painful life. It sounds like a psychological content that will deter many adults. If we do this directly, it will only be "casting pearls before swine". However, if it is obscure, don't you need to tell it to your children? It is estimated that many parents have missed the opportunity of education. For teachers, it is taboo to evaluate children's abilities with their own experience or guesses, because it is likely to limit the development of children because of their own limitations, so that they can't convey what children need to him. Mr. G said: Joy, truth and love are interlinked. True wisdom is universal to everyone. For example, for "self", if children really understand and use it, their consciousness will gradually become stronger. When they or others are controlled by the ego, they can realize this and have a clearer understanding of the things around them, so that they will not fall into the psychological entanglement that we ordinary people often have. But what kind of "lively" form should such content be given to children? This test is whether a teacher can really "apply what he has learned". He must be a fool if he can only speak ready-made "books and textbooks". If he is a fool, how can he make others smart? The following is a class record. Let's see if the children's inner wisdom really exceeds expectations. Teacher: Today, we will tell you a short story first. In our hearts, there are two wolves. One is a good wolf and the other is a bad wolf. Every day, we keep feeding them. Slowly, the two wolves got bigger and stronger. But unlike ordinary wolves, they often come out to talk to you. Good wolves want you to listen to them, and bad wolves want you to listen to them. As a result, when we didn't know how to choose contradictions, they started fighting. Do you believe it or not? Raise your hand if you believe! (As soon as the words were finished, everyone raised their hands. ) Xiao Yan: I feel the same way in my heart. Sometimes when making a decision, two voices will come out, one is mine and the other is mine. Xiao Hao: Me too. For example, when I was playing, a classmate asked me for help, and there were two voices in my heart. One asked me to help him and the other asked me to continue playing. Then some contradictions will arise. Teacher: OK, this is an example of a good wolf fighting with a bad wolf. Then guess which wolf will win the battle? Xiaole: I feel that the bad wolf will win. Xiaoyu: I think which one is stronger will win! Teacher: Well, they both have a point. Xiao Yu is talking about a principle of judging winning or losing; Xiaole is talking about a vague feeling in his heart, but he may not be able to think clearly, so he can't say why. What about other students' opinions? Health: evil wolf! The children almost all said the same thing. ) teacher: haha, it seems that everyone usually keeps bad wolves fat and strong. Ok, now please think about it. If these two wolves want to be strong, they need us to feed them. What kind of food do they need? Let's start with the bad wolf. Who knows what it likes best? Xiao Xuan: I think it likes to complain and be angry. Teacher: Good. Xiao Xuan, when you find yourself complaining and angry, be careful, that's your bad wolf out looking for food! Xiaole: Why do bad wolves like to complain and get angry? Teacher: That's a good question. Think about it, when a person complains, is he reflecting on himself or blaming others? Health: complain about others! Teacher: when a person is blaming others, it is equivalent to saying, "This has nothing to do with me, it's all your fault!" " "In this way, he doesn't need to be responsible for his actions. The bad wolf always thinks that he is right and others are wrong, so it is easy to understand that he likes to eat such food. Ok, let's go back to the topic of food. " Complaining and being angry are not the most powerful foods, and there are their upgraded versions. Guess! Xiao Hao: I know! This is a battle, a battle! Teacher: Xiao Hao speaks very well. Fighting is much more intense than being angry. Take Vivi Jr. as an example. When you were playing with Xiaoyu, you were accidentally hit by him. One is that you are angry, and the other is that you two start arguing about it. Emotionally speaking, are these two very different? Ok, now please keep thinking, what kind of food will the bad wolf look for? Han Xiao: I think it likes to cry, too. (Because Han Xiao usually starts his emotions faster, he is a little embarrassed to say it. ) Teacher: (Laughter) Then you should pay attention next time you cry. However, crying is an external manifestation, and the psychological reasons that lead a person to cry are different. Han Xiao, under what circumstances do you cry? Han Xiao: When you find yourself responsible for your actions, it's easy to cry if you resist. And when I feel that I can't do one thing well. Teacher: Do you find that responsibility disappears after crying, or can you do what you can't? Han Xiao: No. Teacher: Actually, the result hasn't changed. What you think is not the truth, they are just the imagination of the bad wolf, right? (Han Xiao nods thoughtfully) Well, Han Xiao's answer just now mentioned another kind of food for the bad wolf. Unlike what we said earlier, "the bad wolf always thinks that he is right and others are wrong", this is "self-denial and self-pity". I feel that I can't do it, I can't do it, and I may be depressed, sad, sad and so on. Now, for example, when everyone is boxing, you are hit by someone or fall to the ground, and the bad wolf begins to make up stories for you. One version is: "Wow, how dare you hit me? ! I really can't swallow this tone. You hurt me. I want to hurt you more! " Then, the angry expression was immediately written on my face, and I rushed forward wildly regardless of the willy-nilly. One version is: "Ah, it hurts. Why am I so weak? I always get hit by others! I am the most pitiful person in the world! "As a result, the performance of injustice appeared, and the Vietnam War fell more and more, and the more it fell, the more brave it became. Do you like these two versions? Health: (shaking his head) No! Teacher: Hehe, since you don't like it, don't make your bad wolf too strong! Well, the above is obviously bad wolf food, and there is another food that is not easy to find, but it is also very popular with bad wolves. Guess what? Cheng Xiao first raised his hand and said, be agitated. Teacher: Do you know what is annoying? Cheng Xiao: It's just that my heart is a little uneasy. Teacher: Yes, fidgety people can't do things well in front of them. They like to immerse themselves in the past or worry about the future. This mentality will be manifested in him, for example, his eyes look a little nervous and anxious, and there will be more unconscious actions that he often can't control, such as picking his hand and blinking frequently. By the way, do you know why Cheng Xiao thinks about this problem faster than others? Chen Xiao: Because he is usually more excited. Teacher: Well, it's good that Cheng Xiao can think about his own problems, which proves that he has realized his own problems. Irritability is really different from anger and self-pity. Weak, but it takes a lot longer, so you can feed the bad wolves well. It can be said that it is an "invisible killer", Cheng Xiao. Do you think the wolf can easily control you? Are you still willing to be controlled by it? Cheng Xiao: I'm a little easily controlled by it. For example, I can't help playing with my watch or something. I like to take off my clothes and pants when I give a speech, and I won't be too relaxed. However, I don't want to be controlled anymore. Teacher: Speaking of bad wolf food, it's time for us to discuss wolf food. What do good wolves eat? Xiao Xuan: Turn it upside down. Teacher: Can you be more specific? Xiao Xuan: For example, love and gratitude. Teacher: How to understand love? Xiao Xuan: Helping others. Teacher: There are several ways to help others. One is communication with others. For example, Xiao Xuan, if you have something to do today, I will help you sweep the floor. Next time I have something to do, you must help me, or you can give me something delicious! One is requested by others, such as parents and teachers. If you are doing manual work, it is your input. At this time, mom will come back and ask you to do something for her. You are a hundred reluctant, but you have to do it because you want to be a good child of your mother; The third is to take the initiative to do it. I feel very happy when I do it, and I don't want others to return it at all. Which do you think is closer to your understanding of love? Xiao Xuan: The third one. Teacher: It's fine. For example, one of you has a small plant on the balcony, right? I don't see anyone asking. You all take the initiative to take care of it, and you all try to cultivate and water it. No one wants small plants to reward you, right, but everyone will be happy without small plants? Xiao Xuan: Yes. Teacher: You see, there are actually many things behind a sentence. The reason why the teacher keeps asking questions is to see if everyone has made clear what they said and the words they used, otherwise it is a big talk. What about gratitude? Xiaoru: Gratitude means sincerely thanking others. Because what others do for you is not taken for granted, thank you. Teacher: OK, I can understand as well as you. Now everyone knows what good wolves and bad wolves like. What's the difference between them except what they eat? Cheng Xiao: Bad wolves can make up stories, but good wolves can't. Teacher: Since it is a story, it is not a fact, but a lie. So it can also be said that bad wolves like lies and good wolves like facts. Well, knowing this, we should be able to judge when a good wolf comes out and when a bad wolf comes out. Now let's talk about an unfinished problem. If there is a conflict between a good wolf and a bad wolf, everyone thinks that the bad wolf will win. Do you know why? Xiao Xin: Because we give the bad wolf more food, the bad wolf becomes stronger, so it can win easily. Teacher: Why should we give the bad wolf more food? (Everyone is a little at a loss. ) teacher: you have all taken classes in human nature. Do you think people's nature is to make progress against their own temperament, or do whatever they want according to their own temperament? Health: Yes. Teacher: Can you give an example? Xiao Xuan: For example, eating junk food, I eat less at school and control it better. But when I got home, I couldn't control it, no matter what harm it did. Because at home, the requirements are different from those at school, it is easy to follow yourself at this time. Teacher: It's fine. Because it is human nature to indulge ourselves, it is easy for all of us to follow our own bad wolf and spoil it. As a result, it becomes more and more powerful. However, in the process, the evil wolf also used one of its super powerful secret weapons. Do you know what this is? Guess. Everyone guessed a lot, but I just have a vague feeling that I can't express it. ) Teacher: Do you remember that the teacher told you before that there are three kinds of people: one is a prophet, but he can infer the future through what he already knows and what is happening now; There is another kind of person who realizes it only after things happen. Only after things happen can he recover, understand the cause and effect of things and learn from them. The last person was unconscious. No matter what happens, he can't make himself smarter from the incident, or continue to repeat the previous way. Ok, what's the secret weapon of the bad wolf now? Health: Let you unconsciously! Teacher: Yes, when you didn't know it, you were controlled by your emotions at that time, listened to the voice of the bad wolf obediently, and did whatever he told you to do, like a puppet man being manipulated. Do you want to be a puppet? Student: No teacher: Which wolf do you want to win? Health: Good Wolf. Teacher: Well, if you want to win, you must find a way. Xiaole: Give the good wolf more food to make him grow stronger. Don't give the bad wolf food, let him get thinner slowly. Teacher: How to feed wolves? Xiao Ru: You can think about those beautiful things in your mind, such as the love and gratitude mentioned above. Xiaole: We still have to do it. Teacher: Hehe, it would be better to put your two ideas together. Just like the secret method you learned, it is not enough to think, but to do it with action. If we can constantly strengthen this behavior, we can feed more food to the good wolf. Xiao Hao: What if you don't give the bad wolf food? Teacher: That's a good question. For example, you can say now: I won't complain at all, I won't be angry! But it can't be done, and it can't reach that level. However, what you can do is that when you are complaining or angry, you can immediately realize that you are angry and feeding the bad wolf, so that you will not be firmly controlled by it as before. When you can do this more and more times, your consciousness will become stronger and stronger. Finally, you may have noticed the bad wolf when he was about to go out, but he hasn't. In other words, you can change from "unconsciously" to "after knowing". If it becomes very severe, it will become "foresight." "Would you like to? Health: Yes! Teacher: OK, I'll give you an assignment, that is, in your usual study and life, you can observe yourself or others to see when the bad wolf will come out and what food to eat. In the sharing class next Monday, let's share it and see who is the "eye-catching" of our class. We will observe the most carefully and find the most! This class, this topic is over. Such psychological content is not difficult for children to understand. They can understand the problem according to the teacher's guidance. Life is the driving range for children. What is left is that children can apply what they know to life and help themselves and others. They are all very excited about this homework and are willing to try it. A week later, the children prepared rich content to share, some observed themselves, some observed their classmates, and some observed their parents on the phone. From the effect point of view, children can not only accept but also like to pay attention to the content of the mind. Such children, after training, will be more open-minded, psychologically more mature and have more perception of things around them than children of the same age. Case 2: the question raised by Xiao Tong; Recently, I plan to let the children in Class Four have a face-to-face exchange with the brothers and sisters in Class One. The children in Class One are the oldest and most mature in the school. Whether doing things or studying in sports, they are role models in the hearts of these "children". Hearing this news, the children found that they could get in close contact with their role models and were very happy and excited. In addition to being happy, I also asked them to make some preparations in advance, write down their most concerned issues, and let them communicate and interact most efficiently. " "All one's wishes come true" is the embodiment of the law of universal gravitation, which is elaborated in the movie Secret. Although it takes some steps and time to realize your wish, at least one step can't be ignored-that's what's on your mind. What you think determines what kind of person you can become, otherwise it is all empty talk. The child has just turned seven this year and has been in school for less than a year. At first, she told me that she couldn't think of it. Later, she encouraged her to think carefully and ask for anything. She actually asked more than 20 questions in one breath, and the content and quantity surprised me. Here are some questions she raised to share with you. From this, we can have a look at a seven-year-old child. What would she think? What will you pay attention to in your heart? The school does not advocate intensive reading for children before the age of eight, so it is dictated by her and written by the teacher. ) Question: 1 How can I hear the sound of a good wolf? How can we do everything enthusiastically, such as pulling weeds? How can we improve interpersonal relationships? (She also took the course "Humanity and Interpersonal Relations", and because she has a certain age difference with her roommates, she is currently in a running-in period with others and has a lot to learn. ) 4 how can we do a good job in housekeeping? Sometimes I want to give up when climbing mountains. How can we stick to it? How can I cherish my possessions? How can we speed up our actions? How can I concentrate in class? How can we think and speak positively? How can I cherish my body and not support myself when eating? How to promote 10? 1 1 How can I treat myself as a big child? 12 How can I control my emotions? 13 how can we break through ourselves every day? Because of her young age, she has a lot of self-restrictions, and she always feels that she can't do what others can do. After a period of adjustment, she also realized this problem and achieved certain results. ) 14 how can she improve her physical fitness and win the opportunity to go to fairyland? 15 How to be generous? 16 how can I keep myself from shopping indiscriminately when I go to the market? 17 How can I overcome my fear? 18 how to become more violent in boxing? How to protect your body from being hit by others? 19 how can we make science clearer? How can I be filial to my parents, grandparents? 2 1 How to care for freshmen? How can I go to Harvard? How can we do a good job in hygiene? Although these questions are not related before and after, it is more casual for children to say whatever they think. But from this we have to think: can we underestimate the child because she is young? Can you pass on some simple and childish things to your children just because they are young? What does a child's mind need? What can you accept? How can we help her grow to the greatest extent? There are thousands of seven-year-old children in our country. What are they thinking? What kind of questions will they ask? What will be the difference between Xiao Tong and their future?