Very funny text message jokes

Very funny text message joke 1

1. Are you working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and to take care of your health. But you always say meaningfully: "If I don't roll a few more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in the winter!"

2. There are some things I should let you know! The sky is used to blow the wind and rain; the earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove the greatness of mankind; and you: "It is used to stew vermicelli.!"

3. Don’t get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a wine glass and shouting: "Is it a brother? It was a brother who did it!!"

< p> 4. I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just so that one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you. If I can’t smash you, my life will be in vain.

5. If autumn goes, I will wait for you in the snow; if the world goes, I will love you in heaven; if I go, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are pretty good!

6. I know you care about hygiene. You wash your hands every time you go to the toilet, and wash them very carefully. Suddenly you didn't wash your hands. I was surprised: Why didn't you wash your hands? You replied: "I brought paper this time!!"

7. Missing you is a very happy thing; seeing you is a very happy thing; loving you is what I will always want What I do; keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; however, lying to you is what just happened.

8. I will pray to the Buddha every day for a rose that will bloom for a long time. When there are nine hundred and ninety-nine roses, I will give them to you and say emotionally: "Young man, I don’t believe you are invited." Bees won’t sting you!”

9. According to reports: Recently, Iraqi militants hung your photo on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of US soldiers to vomit and die. After investigating and collecting evidence, the United Nations confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction. You should run away.

10. Couples in Western countries always get divorced because their love god is a baby. Look at China's Yuexia Laoren. They are full of experience, so the marriages of Chinese couples are more permanent. When Carrot met the customer, he respectfully handed over his business card. The customer looked at the business card and asked: What do you call Korean ginseng? Carrot's small waist straightened up, "I'm so jealous!"

11. Today you wake up, there is a mosquito lying on your pillow, and there is a suicide note next to you: I struggled all night, your face It’s so thick that I can’t even live in this world! Lord forgive him! I committed suicide.

12. Someone saw you today. You are still so charming. You are wearing a plaid vest and walking slowly with a detached and comfortable look. You are so cute. I don’t know how you could compete with me back then. Rabbit's?

13. Within one year, a man wrote more than 800 love letters to his girlfriend. As a result, his girlfriend finally announced that she was getting married, and the groom was the postman who delivered these letters to her.

14. The barber was shaving the customer’s face while chatting. He was so busy chatting that he accidentally shaved off one side of the customer’s eyebrows. The barber asked: Do you want to grow your eyebrows? Guest: I want to stay! Barber: Ouch! Why didn't you tell me earlier? One side has already been shaved off!

15. Husband: Honey, I’m fired. Just because of a trivial matter, so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after get off work last night. But they didn’t even think about who would dare to steal the tiger!

16. "Do you know why men like to have long hair like their ladies these days?" "Because, if your lover or wife finds long hair on their clothes, he will say with a smile 'This is my hair! '"

17. You are an intern in a mental hospital. Suddenly a mentally ill patient chases you with a kitchen knife. You turn around and run until you reach a dead end. Thinking it was over, the patient said: "I'll give you the knife, it's your turn to chase me!"

18. A certain player couldn't catch the ball steadily. When practicing passing and receiving, another player passed a good ball to him. He was afraid that he would not catch the ball firmly, so he shouted "Catch it firmly". As a result, the ball hit his head, and he only heard him say "With whom?" < /p>

19. When you are alone and empty, a pencil may be your best plaything.

You can use a knife to cut it, peel it, chop it, and at the same time you can vent yourself and shout loudly: "I kill the pen, I kill the pen, I kill the pen!"

20. The sky is so It was clear, the sun was so bright, and the sea was so vast. You were standing on the blue seaside, and I poked you with a stick: "Hey, this little bastard, the shell is quite hard!"

21. There are many text messages on April Fool’s Day, and my best wishes are considered the best. There will be no worries immediately after receiving them. There will be less pain after reading them. If you forward them, you will get a higher salary. If you send them in bulk, you will definitely pick up money. Today is April Fool's Day, I wish you a happy holiday and all the best!

22. April Fool's Day, April 1, please be a fool for a day: forget all worries and sorrows, keep happiness and joy in your heart; let success or failure go by it, Happiness and contentment are enough; cleverness will disturb you, and confusion will not be enough; occasionally, a little foolishness, and happiness will accompany you. As a person, you should leave room for "foolishness", and when you do things, you should spare no effort in "foolishness". Your life should be like "foolishness", and your career should be smooth with "foolishness". Today I was searching for "foolishness" in troubled waters, and finally found you. The "foolishness" of slipping through the net. Happy April Fool's Day!

23. Looking at the advertisements flooding the screen, I have to sigh that my Chinese nation has not disappointed anyone! We have successfully celebrated April Fool's Day as Valentine's Day!

< p> 24. If no one confesses to you on April Fool’s Day, you are doomed to die alone!

25. The day before yesterday was Doctors’ Day, yesterday was Easter, and today is April Fool’s Day. Put together, do you want to say: It is a fool to want to resurrect the status of doctors! Look, Teacher’s Day is followed by National Day, a reminder: Teachers celebrate the holiday and the whole country celebrates it!

26. Send this This extraordinary method of punishing the teacher is to write "Teacher, I am so tired" on the blackboard and then put the shoes on the window sill. Finally, everyone is lying on the floor below in a mess. Which dark brain came up with this? It is really amazing. It was a feeling that pushed the teacher's soul down into the abyss.

27. Today is April Fool’s Day. It’s a fluke not to be fooled. It’s an honor to be fooled. It’s a peace of mind not to be fooled. If you are fooled, you should be happy. I wish you can work with ease, be as capable as you are, live like a fool, and be a quick fool!

28. April Fool’s Day, April 1 , the one who is fooled the most is the one with the most friends, the one who is fooled the most is the wisest and most naughty person, the person who is not fooled is the most respected person, the person who does not want to fool others is the most caring person. No matter what kind of person you are, I wish you a happy April Fool's Day!

29. The sky would not be blue without you, and the earth would not rotate without you; you are our pride, and it is you who make this holiday more special. Happy; I send you a congratulatory message at this moment, wishing you a bright smile on your holiday; Happy April Fool's Day!

30. Career will not be "foolish", and love will never be "foolish". "Foolish" eyes are confused, and they often reap the benefits of "foolish" men. They have "foolish" money every year, and good luck comes to "foolish" people every day. I wish: Happy April Fool's Day!

31. The innocence is dusted, the liveliness is bundled, the freedom is released, the intelligence is packaged, and happiness is hopeless. Just release a little bit of stupidity and ignorance and walk around the world. Dear friend, Happy April Fool's Day!

32. You are handsome and generous, you speak elegantly, you are the best among the crowd, you are the heartthrob among the crowd, today is April Fool's Day, no matter what No matter how I lie, God will forgive me. Haha, I wish you a happy April Fool's Day.

33. I love you forever! This is true. Please believe me! You are my baby! Life can’t be done without you! Only I understand your heart best! Your eyes are the most tender (please see The third word of each sentence) Happy April Fools' Day!

34. Today, April Fools' Day, you have to be careful; if your friends have bad intentions, be happy when they punish you; if someone has good intentions, don't take it as sincerity; always pay attention, Be careful at all times; I send you a piece of care and wish you peace of mind today. Wish you a happy April Fool's Day!

35. Congratulations, your mobile phone number was hit by a lucky golden egg and you won the special prize. Please bring the original ID card, the original household registration book, and two one-inch photos to come to us to claim the prize immediately. We will not wait for expired prizes. Prize: A piece of toilet paper.

36. Whether the quality of the text message is good or not depends on the efficacy. Stare at this text message for a few seconds and you will see: whether your speech is clearer, your mind is clear, your nerves are normal, and your IQ is not zero, is it? By the way, haha, read more and get more benefits. I wish you a happy April Fool's Day.

37. I put together a few tons of "Foolishness Every Year" and a few baskets of "Like Foolish Water", and gave them to the "Fool of the Century" with affection. I hope that you, who is "as wise as a fool", can learn from monkeys as soon as possible. Ordinary wisdom, Bajie can’t thank you quickly enough, haha, I wish you a happy April Fool’s Day!

38. One of the most outrageous functions of April Fool’s Day is to base your own happiness on the happiness of others. Be stupid. But I won’t enable this feature today, because you are already having fun! Happy April Fool’s Day!

39. This text message is great, no worries when received, less pain when reading, and salary for forwarding Gao, a group of people picked up banknotes. The content is: When joking on April Fool's Day, it is important to grasp the scale. Just treat each other sincerely and be happy. May you be fooled into laughing.

40. How to quickly identify fools’ text messages: The receivers are “foolish” every year, the responders are “foolish” every month, the forwarders are “foolish” every day, and the savers are “foolish” all the time. The deleter’s worries are not “foolish”. Wish you: Happy April Fool's Day! Very funny text message paragraph 2

I miss the days when we walked together, the spring was beautiful. Birds are singing and flowers are fragrant. The folks all praise you for being so beautiful and cute. The folks also praised me for being so smart and capable, even at such a young age, I came out to herd pigs.

When you are personally empty and lonely, watermelon may be your best outlet. You can cut it with a knife. Peel it. Cut it. Crack it, and at the same time you can shout loudly: I will kill the melon. I kill melons. I'll kill the melon!

A farmer asked a veterinarian to breed pigs. The veterinarian said: It seems that artificial breeding is needed. The farmer hesitated for a long time, then plucked up the courage and said, "Okay, okay, I'm just afraid it will bite me."

I was very nervous the first time. He kept asking me to relax gently, and then inserted into my body. There was bleeding there. I was so painful that I couldn’t scream. Then I realized... this is what blood donation is like. .

The pregnant mother groaned holding her belly. The boy asked: What’s wrong with mom? The mother said: Your brother is kicking me! He is getting more and more naughty. The boy said: Why don't you swallow a toy and give it to him?

The two supervisors decided to personally guide the female secretary's work. A said: It is our responsibility to teach her what she should and should not do. B said excitedly: Yes! You are responsible for teaching her what to do.

Two drunkards chatted, "I deserve to die. I told my wife that I was married." "I deserve to die even more! I made a drunken gaffe and told my wife that I planned to get married again." My wife listened.”

After carefully examining the beautiful female patient, the doctor said happily: Mrs. Wang, I have good news for you. Patient: No. I am Miss Wang. Doctor: Oh, then, I have bad news for you.

A university professor preached to his students: The ancient word "LV" means kiss, mouth to mouth, very vivid. At this time, a classmate asked: What about the word "qi"? What are four people and a dog doing?

A woman is fat when she is plump, thin when she is slim, tall when she is slender, and short when she is delicate. A fat man is like a pig, a thin man is like ribs, a tall man is like a bamboo pole, and a short man is like a winter melon!

A mother and daughter were shopping, and a gangster kept following her daughter to take advantage of her. When the daughter was about to tell her mother that this man was playing gangster, Unexpectedly, my mother said first: This gangster keeps following me, I'm so annoyed.

A certain person named me and wanted to buy a black condom. The boss was puzzled. This person explained: Recently a good friend of mine passed away, and I bought a black condom to comfort his widow.

I like a girl, but I never had the courage to contact her. Then I finally plucked up the courage to invite her to have a meal together and confess my feelings. Unexpectedly, I opened my mouth and said: How about we sleep together? ? Very funny text message jokes 3

1. Cold on Monday, braised on Tuesday, steamed on Wednesday, fried on Thursday, stir-fried on Friday, add happy seasonings, paired with leisurely wine, make it on the weekend A blessing meal is given to you, may you enjoy it happily.

2. Essentials of happiness actions: If you are troubled and sad, give it a kick; if you are lucky, grab a handful; if you are happy and sweet, give it a kiss; if you have good fortune, give it a hug. May you be happy and happy for more than just a moment.

3. Haha is a happy smile, hehe is a knowing smile, hehe is a snicker, hum is a sneer, hehe is a sly smile, and hoho is a superficial smile. This text message is just to make you smile, may you be happy!

4. In the past, Jiang Youjun was just teasing you; later, Garlic You were ruthless, and he used green onions to attack the wave; now, Sakura conspiracy is popular.

Although prices have risen, friendship cannot be discounted. I have nothing to do and I am teasing you without negotiation!

5. Practice a set of Happy Mizong Quan, don’t take too long; kick a happy running kick, don’t be too late; run on the auspicious road for a while, don’t sweat; do a happy and sweet exercise, don’t Difficulties arise; may happiness spread everywhere!

6. Practice a set of Happy Mizong Quan, don’t take too long; kick a happy running kick, don’t be too late; run on the auspicious road for a while, don’t sweat; do a happy and sweet exercise, don’t Difficulties arise; may happiness spread everywhere.

7. Greetings come uninvited, and signals of joy are sent wildly; worries are tied up in a tight knot, and bad luck is driven away; smiles are fascinating, and there is no antidote for happiness; if you pretend to be serious, I will smash you. Bundle of banknotes!

8. Funny and heart-warming text messages: There is a kind of tacit understanding, which makes you bear the scolding when I am scolded; there is a kind of harmony, which makes me sit and you stand; there is a kind of friendship, which makes me eat meat and you drink soup. ; There is a kind of blessing, which is to send text messages to make you happy.

9. Take a break, work is always harmful to the body; wait a minute, socialize too much and ignore people; have fun, use your free time to exercise; time, time, today will make you as sweet as honey.

10. I am willing to become a thief, steal your true love, put it into my romantic heart, and spend my whole life fighting. Even if there is only a bowl of porridge, I will put it into your hand. I will love you forever. not enough! Hey! Are you moved?

11. Troubles have been fired, sorrow has been defeated, unhappiness has fled, failure has been written off, success is noisy, happiness is laughing, wishful thinking is shrouded, auspiciousness is shining, blessings are surrounding, happiness is reporting!

12. I put happiness in the "tube", health in the "tiao", sweetness in the "ten thousand", happiness accompanied by "wealth", happiness carved in the "red", I wish you happiness every day!

13. The message brings a smile to the face, and a happy mood is indispensable; the message should be sweet to the heart, and you should not be upset at all times; the message will raise your eyebrows, and good luck will always follow; the message conveys friendship, and I wish you happiness. !

14. The flowers are beautiful, the flowers are fragrant, and the flowers are blooming. Words that are kind, words that are true, words that move people, words that are affectionate. Versatility brings happiness, the more the merrier. Come often to send blessings and communicate often. Don’t forget to keep in touch!

15. In this secular world, it is difficult to avoid the numerous disturbances. Please don’t care about those who make you angry, remember to cherish those who make you happy, and those who make you receive blessings every day, haha, please hide them in your heart.

16. I wish your life will get better and better, your age will get younger and younger, your economy will continue to improve, you will have villas, diamonds and jewelry, and you will show off in a BMW. Making money will be like mowing grass. I will feel great, for you. Such a proud friend!