Funny and humorous circle of friends, let's talk about it

Funny and humorous circle of friends (selected 48 sentences) 1. A non-mainstream fighter was killed. His father came: sin, let me be a white-haired man and send red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. 2. Finding someone to pay back the money is like unrequited love, and you will always feel embarrassed when you say it. When you get up the courage to say it, it becomes like confession. Maybe you don't even have friends. When I went shopping this morning, I heard the clerk say "Hello, what can I do for you". I really want to say, "ok, come and pay for me." Tell me about you. What are the advantages of having a girlfriend? When a man marries a man, he will have two suites and two cars. In this world, there are always many things that cannot be explained. For example, some people eat long IQ, while others eat long fat. 6. Every time I don't want to study, I tell myself in the mirror that if I grow up like this, I must study hard, otherwise others will say that that person has nothing but beauty. 7. You pretend to be cold after every exam, because when others are arguing whether the answer is A or B, you can't figure out why you chose C.8.. I suggest you go to bed as early as possible, do more exercise, don't eat supper, don't smoke or drink, go to bed early and get up early, and form good habits. Over time, you have no friends. 9. Losing weight is not that easy. Every catty of meat has its temper. After the age of not eating fat, it is better to give up if you are entangled. 10. Don't complain that you live too tired and bitter. Like me, I used to be nothing, but now I'm different. Even the boss who is worth a million dollars took the initiative to say hello when he saw me: "Hey, waiter, come here for a moment"! 1 1. If you like a girl, you should study hard, work hard and buy a car or house. Then drive with a ring to find the girl you like, and then you will know. Her son is two years old. 12. I will definitely make you the second happiest person in the world. If she asks why she is not the first, then you can say that with you, I am the happiest person in the world! 13. Don't mess around if you don't look good: some people spend a lot of money to iron delicate princess rolls, which don't look like princesses, but like Newton. 14. It is neither high nor cold. It depends on how well you know me. No matter how big your circle is, please speak well in front of me, including your eyes. 15. If you withdraw, you will be withdrawn, and the system will prompt that "a message has been withdrawn". Please, I just don't want anyone to find out! 16. I took your promise to feed the dog last night and found the dog dead the next morning. 17. In order to be a rich second generation, I stayed in bed every day until my father made a fortune. 18. These days, no one believes that you are a student if you don't fall in love, be mean, cheat, rebel, copy your homework or play with your mobile phone. 19. In fact, the girl who cries for a single aristocrat has a group of spare tires around her, silently guarding her. She doesn't really want to be single, she is just "choosing dishes". 20. A classmate said to the teacher: Teacher, what you teach is useless. As a result, the teacher replied: I don't allow you to say that about yourself. 2 1. Lawyers want you to be sued, doctors want you to get sick, and mechanics want your car to break down. Only thieves and insurance companies are the kindest, and they always want you to be prosperous and safe. 22. I have the ability to pick up girls, but I am a girl. 23. Why is the same meat so popular on the chest and so annoying on the stomach? Is this geographical discrimination? 24. I collapsed as soon as I entered the examination room. I will cry when I see the paper. You won't take the exam, you won't get it. 25. If you feel sick, don't check on Baidu. Make a will after every inspection. 26. If you don't study for a day, no one can see; If you don't study for a week, it will start to explode; If you don't study in January, your IQ will be lost to pigs. At present, I have done all these things, the peak of my life! 27. Girls' tears are called cowardice, while boys' tears are called cowardice. It is natural for girls to spend money on boys, and it is natural for boys to spend money on girls. 28. Mom: Which apple do you want? Child: The big one, the biggest one. Mom: Son, you should be polite. Take the small one. Child: Do you have to lie if you are polite? 29. How to explain your obesity gracefully? There are so many things on my mind that it's hard to lose weight. 30. Women in the new era can enter the hall, climb over the fence, fight for mistresses and beat hooligans, but they can't leave the kitchen. 3 1. If you think I'm wrong, please tell me. I won't change it anyway. Don't hide your illness. 32. Has anyone read the whole car manual? I've finished reading it, but I just need to buy a car. 33. The first time I went to the bank to get a card, the counter gave me a list. The type of certificate I fill in is: rectangle. 34. The biggest failure in life is the Tang Priest. People around him, whether friends or enemies, always want to send him to the west. 35. God is fair, giving you ugly appearance and low IQ, so as not to make you appear uncoordinated. 36. Every piece of fat on your body is eaten by yourself. Say, what do you have to complain about? 37. When in love, couples often lament what virtue they have accumulated in their previous lives; After marriage, couples often think about what crimes they committed in their previous lives. 38. What each student is good at is to exclude two wrong options from the four options, and then choose the wrong one from the remaining two. 39. When I was a child, I was called a turtle grandson by my grandmother. When I grew up, I was called a rabbit by my mother and single dog by others. You will be the history of animals all your life. 40. I can't believe that the group of fat cells that I eat and drink all day, when I was about to freeze to death in the cold wind, they pretended not to understand that they didn't want to set themselves on fire to keep me warm. Their hearts are cold and they have raised a group of baiwenhang! 4 1. When a man really falls in love with you, you will find that, alas, when a man falls in love with you falsely, he will find that he is still a rebel after having a son. 42. If you feel sick, don't check on Baidu. Make a will for every inspection. 43. The Tang Priest in Journey to the West is so comfortable that he doesn't have to take a bath by himself. Every two episodes, a monster says, little friend, wash that monk for me. 44. Other people's faces are destined to be seven points, three points by dressing up, one point by your face, and nine points by the filter. 45. After the salary is paid, a week of arrogance, a week of saving and a week of expectation will pass. 46. I used a sack of money to go to college in exchange for a sack of books; After graduation, I exchanged these books for money, but I couldn't afford a sack. 47. I may not be able to lift 100 Jin of stones, but if it's 100 Jin of RMB, I promise to pick it up and run. 48. Some people say that a man's career is inversely proportional to his looks. I looked in the mirror with a lucky attitude. It seems that I am doomed to accomplish nothing in my life.