Healing mood funny jokes

Funny jokes to heal the mood

Funny jokes to heal the mood. Funny jokes are still liked by many people in our lives. Sometimes a simple funny joke does not bring us the same meaning. There are many types of funny jokes that are not limited to the present. Here are some funny jokes that can heal your mood. Funny jokes to heal your mood 1

1. You will regret running out of books when you have used them, and you will not have enough money at the end of the month.

2. Hold the child’s hand and drag the child away. If the child does not leave and is knocked unconscious, continue dragging the child away.

Three, advertising is to tell others that their money can be spent in this way.

4. Money is not the problem, the problem is lack of money!

5. "What is the greatest shame in life?" "You cheated and you failed!"

6. Why do you want to fall in love? Is it because mobile phones are not fun? Or is Fengyoujing not useful?

7. You smell of her perfume, and you will know it is not as expensive as mine as soon as you smell it.

8. With your serious look, you seem to really understand people!

9. God gave us seven emotions and six desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

10. I am a little narrow-minded, but not lacking in it. I have a good temper, but not without it!

11. If you don’t become a householder, you don’t know how expensive firewood and rice are; if you don’t take pictures, you don’t know how fat you are.

12. When life doesn’t go your way, don’t panic. Look at your wallet and savings and just cry.

13. Listen to your words and hang yourself on the southeast branch.

14. I only believe in two people in the world, one is me and the other is not you.

15. Some girls are like lotuses and hibiscus; some girls are like peonies, noble and elegant; some girls are like plum blossoms, aloof and aloof; but you, like succulents, live up to your name.

16. "Uncle policeman, my bag is lost" "Don't worry, it's on me" "Then give it back to me!"

17. If my test scores could rise as fast as housing prices, how lovely this world would be.

18. In front of money and you, I chose you without hesitation, but I found out that I lost both my life and my money.

19. Don’t try to teach pigs to sing. Not only will there be no results, but they will also make the pigs unhappy!

Twenty, why are you pretending to be young? The wrinkles on your face can kill flies.

21. It is said that a certain company randomly throws away half of the pile of resumes it receives because their recruitment philosophy is "We don't want people who are unlucky."

22. As soon as you go out, birds will fly away from thousands of mountains and all traces of people will disappear.

Twenty-three, when you speak ill of me, can you please stop adding fuel and vinegar to it, thinking that it is a stir-fry?

Twenty-four. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you because I am not afraid of your death.

Twenty-five, give me some sunshine and I will rot.

26. The two major tragedies in life: one is despair, the other is complacency.

Twenty-seven. I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just for one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you and cannot be smashed. Bian, your life will be in vain. Funny jokes to heal your mood 2

Funny jokes

1. I was traveling by plane, and there was a couple sitting next to me. When I was given a set meal like that on the plane, I said to my husband: Look at the one next to them, the women can’t finish the meal, and the men eat the rest. It’s so cute. The husband said quietly: Will you leave it?

2. When my uncle came to visit, Xiaowen said to his mother: "Mom, I want to go to the zoo to see monkeys." The mother immediately scolded: "What monkey are you looking at? Your uncle is here, why do you go to the zoo?"

　3. My wife bought a hamster and a cage. I asked her how much it cost, and she said how many hamsters and how many cages. After hearing this, I complained that this cage is more expensive than a hamster? The second-hand guy replied: "Do you think your house price will be higher than the current price?"

4. When I was in high school, I was the last in the class and never came to school and spent all day in Internet cafes. But the strange thing is that he comes to every exam and never misses it.

Later we discovered that before every exam, the second-to-last person in the class would go to the Internet cafe to give the last-to-last member a 10-yuan membership, begging him to take the exam...

5. I heard a roommate say when I was in college. One of his friends expressed his feelings: "Brother is getting married." He left a message: "You didn't get on the boat first and then paid for the ticket, right? Congratulations!" Later he replied: "It's not me, it's my brother..."

6. The wife asked her husband: "If I were crazy, would you still love me?" The husband said firmly: "Yes!" The wife thought for a while and said sadly: "You really love me. "

7. The wife asked her husband coquettishly: "Do you like my tenderness, or are you obsessed with my sexy figure?" The husband was embarrassed for a while and replied: "I will. I like your sense of humor!”

8. When walking with your boyfriend, you like to put your arms around his waist and pull on his clothes. One day while walking, he suddenly said: "Stop pulling my clothes, okay?" I was dissatisfied and said, "Can't you add a baby to your conversation with me?" Then he said: "Stop pulling my clothes, okay?" Okay?" Me: "..."

9. After the two mice got married, the female mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her and imitated a cat by meowing at the door of the house. Not only was the wife not afraid, but she said tenderly: "Brother Cat, stop barking, my husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet."

10. "I have liked to investigate the truth since I was a child, and my dream is to be a detective when I grow up. , now the editor-in-chief of a newspaper, what about you? "

"I loved playing when I was young, and my dream when I grew up was to travel around with a lot of money, and now I am a bus conductor. "

11. When I went home at night, I heard crying in the alley. When I looked closer, I saw that it was a disheveled woman crying. When asked what happened, the lady replied: "I was assaulted by a pervert!" Me: "Are you okay?" The lady replied: "He suddenly grabbed my breast from behind and then let me go..." Me: "That's okay? Why are you crying?" The young lady replied: "Because... the pervert actually said that it was so unlucky to have hugged a man." 12. After the boss went to work, he was sitting there depressed. The secretary asked why. Boss: "Yesterday I received a letter from a guy, saying that if I don't leave his wife, he will kill me!" Secretary: "Why don't you just leave his wife!" Boss: "But the guy didn't sign it!" < /p>

13. Once, a very bad eunuch stopped Ji Xiaolan and asked him to tell a joke. Ji Xiaolan said: "Once upon a time, there was a person once upon a time." Then after a long silence, the eunuch asked impatiently: "Where is it down there?" Ji Xiaolan replied: "There is no more down there!

14. Yes One day in class, the teacher asked Xiaoli: “What is the motherland? Xiaoli said: "Teacher, the motherland is my mother." The teacher said: "That's a good answer." Then the teacher asked Xiao Ming: "Xiao Ming, what is the motherland?" "Xiao Ming said: "Teacher, the motherland is Xiaoli's mother. "

15. Late at night, my husband didn't come home. My daughter called her mother anxiously: "Mom! If he hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! "My mother comforted me softly: "Silly boy, be good, don't think about the worst, maybe you were in a car accident! "

16. A new foreigner moved next door to a buddy. One night the foreigner knocked on the door and asked for help, saying: "My TV is broken and I can't change the channel. "This guy looked down at his watch and said calmly: "It'll be fine after half past seven!"

17. I once borrowed a relative's speaker and played it downstairs in the boys' dormitory. He put out a heart-shaped candle and prepared to express his love. He pressed the switch and was about to shout when a voice came from the loudspeaker: "Recycle, refrigerator, color TV, washing machine, gas tank. . . "Then I started crying...

18. When I saw an old man carrying heavy things upstairs, I wanted to say: Grandpa, let me help you get the things! When I opened my mouth, I turned into: Old man Grandpa, let me get the stuff for you!

19. My boyfriend and I had an argument to the point of breaking up, and both of us were very emotional. I angrily said, "I will get the package myself," and I got angry. "I can roll the corn myself" my boyfriend said "Goodbye Hamster"

20. I went to my neighbor's house to borrow something. They were eating watermelon. When he lent me something, I But he said: I won’t eat it. The shame I felt at that time has not been found yet.

Funny jokes to heal your mood 3

Funny jokes and short sentences

1. Bajie, don’t think that you are a night-light pig when you stand under the lighthouse.

2. I am not bragging. With my qualifications and diploma, I will sweep all the streets in this city in the future.

3. Don’t look at me from your perspective. I’m afraid you won’t understand.

4. It is said that words are like people. I read the medical records. I can’t even imagine what the doctor looks like.

5. How many people have gone from fat to thin, from love to hate, from innocence to depravity, for the sake of their significant other.

6. You can’t do anything, and you can’t eat anything left. Change your brain capacity and stomach capacity.

7. I’m not a rag collector, and I can’t do it. You come whenever you call.

8. Salary is like an aunt, it comes once a month and is gone in a week.

9. When I passed by a person, my clothes were all scratched and there were no sparks

10. Later, I finally understood through tears that once some people gain weight, I can't lose weight.

11. Many aunts today said that I am handsome, so why don’t you introduce your daughters to me!

12. The empty joy is when you wake up in the morning and think you have grown taller, but when you look carefully, it turns out that the quilt cover is horizontal.

13. The elderly cannot be spanked, the children cannot be spanked, and women cannot be spanked. Can't beat, beat the man to death.

14. It doesn’t matter if a man is miserable. Don’t be miserable with your woman for the rest of your life.

15. You are like a fairy descending from the Nine Heavens to earth, but unfortunately you land on your face first.

16. You said you were willing to grow old with me, but no, I want to have black hair.

17. Whether a woman is unreasonable or coquettish depends largely on her appearance.

18. No horror movie can compare to the head teacher suddenly popping out of the window.

19. Apply to enter your heart, I’m knocking on the door.

20. Life can’t give you sweetness, but maybe I can.

21. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when the exam is about to take place and others are reviewing while you are previewing.

22. Although I was stunned by the results of the top students, my speed of handing in the paper definitely stunned the top students!

23. It’s over, you won’t pay attention to me anymore, I’ll become a dog and ignore you.

24. I lowered my head, not because I was admitting defeat, but because I was looking for money.

25. I was very thin before and will be very thin in the future, so I need to gain weight for a while or else my life will not be satisfactory!

26. I have many little secrets. Little secrets, I won’t tell you. Hey, I won’t tell you!

27. Sometimes I feel that I have become ugly. When I take out my ID card, I find that I am worrying too much.

28. The only benefit of monthly exams is that they let us know who to ask for the correct answers to homework