Mother-in-law always yells at the children

The mother-in-law always yells at the children

The mother-in-law always yells at the children. After all, children are children, and they are inevitably naughty. Most modern parents can control their emotions, but grandparents, as elders, ignore them and often yell at their children. So what should I do if my mother-in-law always yells at my children? The mother-in-law always yells at the child 1

1. Use the husband to communicate

There is a problem in using the husband to communicate. If it is not done properly, the grandma will feel that the daughter-in-law is behind her back. If you file a complaint, you may feel unhappy, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be estranged because of this.

Therefore, when communicating with your husband, you should also discuss the matter, that is, tell the matter exactly as it is, and tell your husband that he understands that grandma means well, but she always yells at the child, and the child becomes more and more timid. , I hope my husband will remind grandma at the appropriate time.

Another thing to note here is that after telling your husband, he should not immediately go to grandma to argue. This can easily cause conflicts. Let your husband find an appropriate time to talk, because grandma yelling at the child may be a sign of anger. It is due to a habit, or a loud voice is born, it does not mean that you deliberately want to yell at your child.

2. Use some professional articles

The above method of using your husband to communicate actually has two situations.

One is that your husband agrees with your parenting philosophy and will communicate with your grandma;

One is that although your husband agrees, he is unwilling to go against him Your mother may not agree with your parenting philosophy at all, and thinks that grandma is right, that "filial sons should be born from the stick", and this is how she came to be.

In the first case, it’s okay. In the second case, if your husband doesn’t agree with you, your mother can find some professional articles and send them to her husband to read, or when chatting, Let’s talk about these parenting theories.

①The brains of children who are yelled at may change

According to research by a team of associate professors of psychiatry at Harvard, children who have been yelled at for a long time will have larger brains than ordinary children as adults. The gray matter volume is 14, which means that children who have been yelled at for a long time have "scars" in their brains.

A friend said that she and her sister grew up being yelled at at home. Now she is timid in everything she does. She easily feels inferior, introverted, and is always worried that others will not like her. Later, She consulted a psychological expert and said that her character had developed a "pleasant" personality.

② Children who are always yelled at and scolded may become "knife meat"

In a previous article, I once explained in detail that there is another type of child who seems to be how Even if you don’t listen to scolding, that’s because the child’s brain automatically activates the escape mechanism after being yelled at for a long time.

Moreover, children who are often yelled at will have an increasingly violent temper. When the child is weak, he will You can't resist, but when your strength is strong enough, you may become irritable and irritable.

③Children who are yelled at will feel "heartbroken"

Dr. Ethan Kross of the University of Michigan once conducted an experiment. In the experiment, he found that people Emotional and physical pain respond to very similar areas in the brain, meaning that if a person says they feel "heartbroken" about something, their nervous system may actually experience the same level of pain, here. Heartbreak is not just a metaphor, it is a feeling associated with the body.

Children who are often scolded and yelled at will gradually lose their aura.

3. Direct communication method

First of all, let’s make it clear that grandma is definitely close to the children, but as the elder generation, their educational concepts are very simple. When they see children If the child is naughty, just say it directly. If the child is more willful, just yell loudly. Especially some grandmas have loud voices. Even if they don't yell, they sound like yelling.

Adhering to the principle of educational consistency, when grandma yells at a child, don’t rush to retort immediately, and don’t get into a fight with grandma directly. You can call the child aside and wait for the matter to pass. Find another opportunity to communicate with grandma.

You can buy your grandma a piece of clothing or other items that she likes. When grandma is very happy, you might as well say to her: I know you love your baby very much and are also worried about your baby. You can’t bear it when your baby is naughty. The hostess told him that it was for the baby's good, but the baby feels obviously very afraid of you during this period. I think you definitely don't want to do this. So, if you encounter the baby being naughty again, just tell me directly and I will communicate with the baby. , I promise to let the child change slowly.

Under normal circumstances, elderly people who are not particularly ignorant will take suggestions. Mother-in-law always yells at children 2

It is wrong for old people to yell at children all the time'. The reasons are as follows:

Before a child is 3 years old, it is a critical period for establishing a sense of security. Before a child is 6 years old, it is a golden period for personality formation. Elderly people often yell at children, which has a certain psychological impact on children. Will have an impact. If a child lives in a yelling environment for a long time, not only will the child feel insecure, but the child's character will also be seriously affected. Such children will be timid, cowardly, and have low self-esteem when they grow up.

When encountering elderly people who often yell at children, here are some suggestions:

1. Communicate seriously

The communication mentioned here should be serious, which means that communication should be serious. The sense of ritual is to openly and honestly let the other person know your concerns and the stakes of how yelling will hurt your child. If you just say a few words casually and don't dare to tell the old man your true thoughts, that kind of communication is meaningless.

2. Choose a good time

Don’t talk when the elderly are yelling at their children. You must find an appropriate time to communicate, such as: Choose a time when the elderly are in a good mood and tell them your true thoughts. At the same time, tell the elderly directly what impact the grandparents' actions will have on the children. I believe that as long as you tell the elderly calmly, it is for the sake of the children. Healthy and sensible elderly people can accept it. But here is a reminder: when communicating with the elderly, you must pay attention to the way and tone of speech.

3. Find the right person to communicate with

Due to the influence of traditional thinking, the elderly sometimes misunderstand the words of their daughter-in-law. If they have scruples about talking to their mother-in-law in daily life, It is best not to communicate with the elderly yourself. You can leave the task to your husband and let him communicate with his parents. After all, the husband is their own child, and they all understand each other. The husband can say good or bad things in front of his parents, so the communication effect will probably be better who is the parent of the other. The mother-in-law always yells at the children 3

Talk to them about the truth. For such a young baby, excessive scolding will hurt the baby. When the baby engages in various dangerous behaviors or wrong practices, it is right for parents to stop them in time. The reprimand at this time is not only to prevent the baby from doing this, but also to let the baby remember that it is wrong to do so and will do so in the future. Don't do this. But at this time, the baby's brain is still developing, so he may not necessarily be able to remember the parents' words, but if this happens several times,

I'm afraid the baby will remember the parents' harsh tone and angry words. Face. Therefore, at this time, the parent's reprimand should only be able to stop the baby's behavior, but do not reprimand excessively. For babies, moderate praise is always better than scolding. Even adults like to be praised rather than scolded. For babies at this stage, they have not yet formed a sense of right and wrong. They do not know what is not allowed and what is right, so they will engage in various wrong behaviors.

When parents face their baby’s wrong behavior, they should not be too busy scolding them. They should first think about why the baby behaves like this and whether they are doing it while taking care of the baby. What was not done well. When the baby really does something wrong, or his behavior is very dangerous, parents should make their attitude clear when reprimanding them. They should let the baby understand that the parents are serious at this time, so that the baby will remember this in his heart. The thing you did was wrong and should not be done again.

In addition, for babies at this time, parents should not punish them too much. Excessive punishment will be stored in the baby's memory and have a negative impact on the baby's physical and mental development. When the baby makes a mistake, in addition to moderate scolding, parents can slap the baby's palm twice to let the baby remember that wrong behavior will bring punishment of palm slaps.