Good sentences told by funny friends.

1. When I was studying, I had no money. I just bought clothes at a discount. It's different after work, and I can't afford a discount. 2. Now boys are too bad, whiter than girls, taller than girls, more beautiful than girls, and compete with girls for boyfriends! ! ! 3. Others are proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting. I'm amazing. I fry, cook and eat everything. Don't ask me if I have a boyfriend, it's against heaven for us immortals to fall in love with mortals. Don't say how much the prince loves Cinderella, but he forgot his appearance after one night. 6. God is fair. If he gives you an ugly look, he will definitely give you a very low IQ, so as not to make you appear uncoordinated. 7. Laziness is a good excuse, as if you can really do great things as long as you are diligent. Just spread my mud on the ground, I don't need your help. 9. How do you describe your cooking? You did a good job in the kitchen. You may not believe it, but the pot moved first. 10. I never classify my friends as 369, but some people use their actions to make themselves worthless. 1 1. Since having a daughter, I feel that men all over the world are bad people. 12. I like giraffes best. Its neck is so long that it can be cooled for a long time by drinking iced drinks. 13. There is a classmate named Huang Guanglin. Every time he goes to the store, he keeps hearing his name called. 14. The house is too small, and my wife needs a dog, but the dog is very obedient. Knowing that the house is small, he wags his tail up and down. 15. It is said that marriage is the grave of love, but after being single for many years, I still feel that being buried underground is much better than dying in the street. 16. Everything should be prepared in advance. The salary for next year has been arranged before this month's salary is paid! 17. How to test a man? If a man plays a game and returns your message in seconds, please remember that this is called pig teammate, and you can't play games with him! 18. I am often late for school. I went to school earlier today. On the way, I met a classmate. My classmates shouted when they saw me. It's over! We're late! Run! ? 19. I was bored at night, playing with rocks, scissors and cloth in front of the mirror, always painting, and I was very angry, so I kept playing, and finally won two in a row before I could sleep peacefully. 20. My ex-girlfriend got married and drank three rounds. I stood up and shouted:? The bride's ex-boyfriend, cheers! ? As soon as the voice fell, half of them stood up and did it, and the groom was green with anger. 2 1. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside. If you go to the toilet, it depends on whether you have a mobile phone or toilet paper in your hand. 22. Dad thought I was ugly, and asked me to be a scarecrow in the cornfield. As a result, not only did I successfully scare away the crows, but even several crows were scared to send some corn back. 23. It is said that you can't buy a big bed when you get married, and you will quarrel in the future. If the bed is too big, sleep separately. If the bed is small, it is easy to coax the daughter-in-law. But I never imagined that I couldn't even get into bed after the quarrel! 24. If husband and wife help their children with their homework together, it will seriously affect family harmony. 95% couples will think that their children's intelligence is not as good as their own, and 100% couples will think that this is caused by each other's genes! 25. I wanted to buy a house last year. After calculating, I still need 30 thousand yuan, so I decided to continue saving money. I finally saved 30 thousand yuan this year. I went to the sales office and asked, and I still need 300 thousand! 26. At eleven o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife was still watching TV. I told her to go to bed quickly. Reluctantly, she turned off the TV and had a big fight with me. I quickly turned on the TV and apologized in every way, but it was still useless. I finally learned that I didn't praise her so well when she turned off the TV. 27. After being woken up by the alarm clock every day, there will be two little people fighting in their heads. One said it was still early. Go to sleep! The other rushed up and beat him up: I told you to be fucking ridiculous! 28. I have been in love for 3 years. At the moment of breaking up, I found that there were no women in my WeChat. Have you forgotten all the skills of chasing girls? What my predecessor did was cruel! 29. I don't believe them when they say that the chat ends in hehe. I sent a message to the male god yesterday saying: I like you very much. He said: Hehe. I replied: Hehe, you are a big man. So I scolded him all night. 30. Just after being woken up, I heard a man in the community shouting: kill, kill, kill, back up, back up. This is the rhythm of great events! Look what happened. I got up quickly and ran to the window. I'll go! A man is directing his daughter-in-law to reverse the car! 3 1. Travel with good friends, and rest under the tree when you are tired. Suddenly a few drops of bird droppings fell on my face, and before I knew it, my best friend wiped it evenly for me, saying that your sunscreen had not been wiped evenly. 32. How much fun it is outside is just a passing sight to me. No matter how beautiful the scenery is, it is just a pile of powder skeletons in my eyes! In my opinion, it is the most important thing to keep your original heart in the bustling urban life, or the old saying goes well: I have no money! 33. Someone saw you today. You are still so charming, walking slowly in a plaid vest, looking detached and comfortable. It is really cute. I wonder how you beat rabbits in those years. 34. If marriage is the grave of love, then blind date is to show feng shui to the grave, confession is to dig the grave, marriage is double suicide, empathy is to move the grave, and the third party is to rob the grave! 35. Don't worry about being single. You must be the fairy who came to the earth for romantic robbery. So, don't worry, just bear it. Anyway, after the robbery, you can fly to the sky and say goodbye to those mortals. 36. I used to thank Sun Li, although she starred? Biography? And then what? Legend of Mi Yue? I haven't seen it, but I know? Hey? And then what? Hey? These two words. Listen now? Something unusual? I just hope I don't take the exam in the future?