Qq Space Talking about Campus

There is a place that we don't like when we are here and miss when we leave. That's our alma mater. I bring you qq space to talk about campus, let's enjoy it together.

On campus selection in Qq space 1. I want to invite a primary school girl to have dinner together. Anyway, she always said that her heart was empty and she dared not see me. I was in a hurry and suddenly said, then call the police before you see me and go to the head office.

In English class, my classmates asked me: What does man mean? I replied:? Men. ? After class, I asked him: Men are men, so what does a woman mean? He thought for a long time, and finally stared at me with big eyes and asked me: My man.

Another weekend, we stayed in the dormitory for another day. Some games, some games, and some games. In the afternoon, it is estimated that the sisters can't hold back, so just chat for a while. At this time, a sister asked: So who, who, what day is next Tuesday? I only heard another sister answer:? I don't know that either. Let me show you the calendar. ? We fainted on one side.

4. When I was in college, several bad friends in the dormitory often skipped classes; Once, they planned to skip class in the morning history class and go shopping. They told me that if the teacher called the roll, he would help us make the cover. When they came home with big bags and small bags, they asked me: Did the teacher call the roll today? ? I casually replied:? It doesn't make sense ... my friends are happy and full of doubts, so they ask me: why don't you call the roll? Not a history teacher! ? But I said helplessly: I am the only one. Do you want some more?

5. A: Find a school girlfriend in the future. B: Why? A: Everyone in a school uses a campus card, so it costs nothing to make a phone call. B: Then why don't you find someone from this province to buy her a campus card? A: Don't you have to pay the card fee?

6. teacher:? Why do you always sleep in class? Student:? Edison didn't go to school, Leonardo da Vinci painted rotten eggs, and Einstein was naughty. Why can't I doze off? ?

7. The geography teacher resigned and the headmaster wanted to keep her. The teacher said helplessly: Look at the students' papers this time. The top of the five famous mountains in China is (Zhao Benshan), and the most famous river is (Pan Changjiang). China's coal is black and iron is hard. How can I attend class?

8. Teacher: Helping others is not only helping others, but also making others happy. For example, Xiao Ming. Xiaoming: To treat infertility, come to my home. I feel comfortable. You are my mother! Ha ha! Teacher: Get out!

9. I am the only girl in the civil engineering class. In the morning architecture class, my sister was very attentive in class, and as a result, a group of fucking people left to discuss whether my sister was a man or a woman! As a result, the teacher couldn't stand it and said, Have you ever seen such a bitch? So is the teacher who knows me.

10. In junior high school, boys in the class generally have poor English scores. One day, in order to boost morale, the English teacher said to everyone: The ratio of male to female in China is out of balance, so it is difficult to find a daughter-in-law for you rabbits. Therefore, we must learn English well, and if we can't, we should import it. ?

1 1. The boy you like came up to you with a smile, patted you on the shoulder, bent down, gently pulled open the broken hair in your ear and whispered: The teacher asked you to come over.

12. Teacher: Can you tell me a place where I can find gold? Life is ok. Teacher: Where is it? Health: It's in the dictionary.

13. Two biochemists were sitting in front of the laboratory drinking coffee, and a beautiful woman walked by. Seeing the dementia on my colleague's face, a mature biochemist said that she is more than 75% water like us. Colleagues still look stupid and say, yes, but look at the surface tension!

I am a member of the school choir. One day, it's time for the activity and the teacher hasn't come yet. A senior girl is in charge of discipline. When she saw a senior boy talking, she asked him to perform a program. The senior boy said:? Students who disagree with my performance, please take a deep breath! ? Suddenly, there was silence in the classroom, and all the students covered their noses and mouths?

15. The medical school professor gave a lecture to the intern: In order to make a more accurate judgment, it is necessary to know the patient's genetic disease history. ? The intern asked a newly arrived patient: How did you hurt your leg? A:? It was hit by a car. ? Have your father and grandfather been hit by a car?

On campus appreciation in Qq space 1. I can't help it. Classes will be held as usual at Christmas. In Chinese class, the teacher came in proudly as usual. Monitor: Stand up! Teacher: Goodbye, class! The whole class (paused, then said in unison): Goodbye, teacher!

2. "I remember when I was in kindergarten, the teacher pointed to the pinyin on the blackboard: M, A, Y, D, B, who can read it? I raised my hand high, stood up and read aloud: Touch Aunt Debo! After reading it, I quickly sat down and felt beautiful: too standard! "

When I was in college, a buddy in the dormitory once wrote home for 500 yuan. A few days later, he received a letter from 50 yuan Qian and his father, which said? Son, you went to college, and you couldn't even write 50 yuan, so you wrote an extra 0. You should study hard in the future and don't make similar mistakes again. ?

I once had a female classmate in junior high school who looked like a boy. One day, she shaved her head, and the class teacher was furious and called her parents. Then her mother came, and as a result, her mother was also the boss!

When I was in junior high school, the head teacher was very fierce. Once in the afternoon, the class teacher supervised the discipline in the room. Everyone was too busy doing their homework to look up. A buddy looked up and stole a look at the teacher. When he found that the teacher had left, he thought he had left. As soon as he shouted, the fucking head teacher rolled away and everyone got up! ! Then I looked at the teacher who tied his shoelaces behind the podium and stood up weakly. Go ahead, brother. We will remember you.

6. A student has poor grades and often fights. After graduation, parents found a teacher and asked to write a good comment for the students. This will embarrass the teacher. Writing well is unfair to other students, and parents don't agree with writing badly. What should I do? So the teacher wrote the following comments: the student's grades are very stable (always in the bottom three) and his hands-on ability is extremely strong (often working hard)

7. In the past, the exam teacher handed out papers, and the girls at the back shouted with one more. Teacher, I have, I have. ? As a result, the boy sitting next to him said, Is it mine? Is it mine? .

8. In class, the teacher asked a question:? What's the next poem that flies 3 thousand? Seeing Xiao Ming sleeping in class, I woke Xiao Ming to answer the question. Xiao Ming looked bleakly at the deskmate next to him and replied:? Two lines of snot ran down. ? The whole class burst into laughter.

9. After reading Daqiang's composition, the teacher asked angrily: Daqiang, how come your composition "Spring outing" is not worse than a word written by Dagang? Teacher, Dagang and I have been together that day and have never been apart! Daqiang answered.

10. Xiaoming fell asleep in geography class, and suddenly the teacher called him up to answer the question. Xiao Ming didn't touch his glasses in his panic, but vaguely saw a question on the blackboard, so he said in a panic. I can't see clearly. ? Unexpectedly, the teacher said to him, well, please sit down! ? Xiao Ming asked his deskmate with a puzzled face: What topic? The deskmate said:? The urban characteristics of Beijing. . ?

1 1. Xiaomei recently took a fancy to a dress and even thought about it in class. One day, the teacher was giving a lecture. Xiaomei is thinking about her skirt. Seeing Xiaomei in a daze, the teacher asked her: May I ask you to use it? Don't eat hard or soft? This word constitutes a sentence. ? Xiaomei used her quick wits and said to the teacher. Xiaoming is very rude. He doesn't eat soft candy or hard candy!

12. Student: It really makes me sad to write such a long story without a star. Teacher's comment: Nothing, you are so sad.

13. I went to college and filled in my personal information. My deskmate reminded me of my sports hobby: Don't write those useless things, or can I go to the sports group? So I wrote ice hockey. Golf? I looked back at what was written behind, only to see that my brother wrote about his hobbies: jumping off buildings and jumping into wells.

14. The teacher asked the students to write a poem according to their hobbies. The gambler's son just thought about it and wrote in his composition book:? The wind is in the east, west, north and south, and the whiteboard is rich and red, with a tube of stripes, plus spring, summer, autumn and winter. ?

15. I remember that in high school, a teacher was not allowed to go to the toilet in class unless he came back to do 20 squats. One day, a buddy went to the tuba and came back to do 19, ready to go back. Let the teacher find out: Only 19, one is missing. ? My buddy screams:? I squatted in the toilet. ? The whole class burst into laughter.

16. A strict one. One day in the canteen, I visually observed a freshman boy (seemingly small) asking him at the window selling porridge. How much is mung bean porridge? The rice seller's answer? The boy asked a piece? With sugar? Besides? Can it be cheaper without sugar? Are they all one piece with or without sugar? Oh, can I have five spoonfuls of sugar? The people in the back row laughed their heads off.

17. Students especially like music history class because the music teacher in the class is very humorous. Once in an exam, he gave such a question: Bach has 20 children, and he spent most of his life on XX. Some students are naughty and answer in bed. Some students are more serious and the answer is in Germany. Others thought it was composition, but no one answered correctly. The students asked the teacher what the correct answer was. He smiled and said, I'm paying my debts.

18. "Teacher: I have two birds in my hand, one is a sparrow and the other is a swallow. Can Xiaoming point out which is the sparrow and which is the swallow? Xiaoming: I can't point it out, but I know the answer. Teacher: Tell me about it. Xiao Ming: The swallow must be next to the sparrow, and the sparrow must be next to the swallow. "

19. A female college student came to the professor's room: Please, teacher, let me pass this exam. I will do anything to pass the exam! ? The professor stared at the girl's eyes. Really willing to do anything? Yes, the professor leaned over the girl student's ear and whispered: So, can you study?

20. As the summer vacation approaches, a beautiful girl from a graduating class is walking on campus, and several junior girls and boys are coming face to face. Boy A: Not bad, not bad, so beautiful! Boy B: What a pity. She is a senior. She will graduate soon. Girl A: You look beautiful! Girl B: Nothing! I am a graduating class and will leave school soon.

Qq Space on Campus 1. A classmate caught a cold because it was very serious, but he didn't see a doctor. So it's awkward to talk. Every time he talks to his classmates, they tease him and say, why is your voice so cold? It's similar to dawn's. He said: what is almost, it is almost.

Once in class, Mr. Zhang called a student to the podium to do a topic. While waiting, Mr. Zhang patrolled the classroom and found a student's seat empty, so Mr. Zhang asked: Where did he go? The student said in surprise, he is the classmate you called to the podium to do the problem!

2. In college, go to the dormitory to check your sleep at night. I saw a girl sitting on the bed, holding her cheeks in her hands to make flowers. I joked:? How to sell cute? Girls mutter:? Teacher, I dropped my jaw. Take it. Don't move tonight. Go to the school doctor's office tomorrow. ? I was scared and asked what was going on. Her dormitory said nothing, teacher. She always falls several times a month. Are the buns in the canteen too big today?

3.？ Your teacher Zhang didn't come today, so I came to take the place. Next, the students turn to page 22 and look at the first question. The way to solve this problem is: three long and one short, three short and one long, two long and two short, 2B, uneven, 4D. Ok, let's collect the shuttlecock money sent by physical education class yesterday. .

In order to prevent students from climbing over the wall, the iron fences on a campus are pointed. The warning sign above reads: No climbing over the wall, boys will become girls if they are not careful, and girls will become women if they are not careful.

5. In history class, the teacher asked: What are the names of people who dug their hearts to save da ji in history? Xiao lazy hands volunteered. After the teacher's eyes acquiesced, Xiao Lazy got up and proudly answered: Hepatitis B. ..

6. A classmate steals sausages in class. When I was swallowing something, the teacher found me. The teacher asked, What are you swallowing? He said: teacher, me? I'm dying.

7. The boys' dormitory suddenly lost power, and the students shouted: Hoo, Hoo! Soon, the electricity came. The boys cheered together: come to the woman, come to the woman! The aunt who manages the dormitory came and shouted, Shut up.

8. I remember that when I was in junior high school, I once organized pulling weeds in my class. Both male and female students are squatting on the ground and working hard. I wanted to liven up the atmosphere, so I applied a popular advertising word at that time: what a big ranch, so many cows. The result was a good beating by a female classmate!

9. In high school Chinese class, the teacher told the top ten celebrities in China that a mother needed a kidney transplant. His son told a white lie and donated his kidney to his mother. Then I asked my deskmate? What lie did you say he told? The goods a face of calm answer? Mom, I have three kidneys! ? At that time, I smiled and was asked out.

10. At a kindergarten dinner, a baby accidentally knocked over his rice bowl. The teacher asked: How did you lose your rice bowl? I saw a baby next to me buckle his rice bowl and rice on the table with lightning speed, and told the teacher: That's how he fell. ? Teacher:?

1 1. Mother's Day is coming. The Chinese teacher copied the stray songs on the blackboard, hoping that the students could refer to them and write a new poem for their mother. However, given that many children are single-parent families, the teacher said it is ok to write to dad. Xiaohua thought about it and wrote: money is in the hands of a loving father and spent on his son; Give it before you leave, not take it.

12. Do math problems today. There are ten people waiting in line. A can't stand in the middle, at both ends, next to B. Besides C, there is Ding behind them. After heated discussion, everyone agreed to let A go ~

13. Teacher, why are you bald? That's great. Then I'll shave my head, too This is cleverness.

14. "In the biological experiment class, students are observing their saliva cells and recording them after looking at them with a microscope? . While everyone was happily observing and studying, they screamed? Ah ~, so it's from the beauty teaching assistant? . The professor thought something was wrong and ran to see it. After reading her microscope, he told her: remember to brush your teeth and rinse your mouth next time you finish! ! "

15. When I went to a marketing class that day, the professor asked:? What will you do if you get more 50 yuan when you withdraw money from the ATM? Some students answered:? Will be returned. ? Only one student said that he would stay. The professor finally spoke: If I were you, I would try the ATM again?

16. When correcting the composition "My Teacher", the teacher found such a passage: Teacher, you are like a diligent gardener, sending students from one temple to another, and now you are sending students from this temple to us. Conversation? Is it misspelled? Temple? . Teacher's comment: When you sent this away? Temple? I stopped being a gardener and became an abbot.

17. One day the teacher asked: Ali, what would you do if you saw a big black bear in the forest one day? Ali:? I'll shoot! ? Teacher:? What if you happen to have no gun? Ali:? I stabbed it to death! ? Teacher:? What if you happen to have no knife? Ali:? Emma, I don't understand, teacher. Are you on the bear's side or mine? Teacher?

18. Xiaoming is whispering and giggling with his deskmate in class. The teacher is angry:? Xiao Ming, repeat what you just said 100 times. ? Xiaoming:? Teacher's pants zipper is not pulled, teacher's pants zipper is not pulled, teacher's pants zipper is not pulled. . . ?

19. Teacher: Xiaoming, there are no cell phones and watches in the cloudy sea, and the sun and the moon can't be seen. How do you distinguish between day and night? Xiaoming: We have no choice but to wait for Chen Bo. Teacher. . .

20.？ Teacher, my deskmate is playing mobile phone! ? Teacher, he is playing with his mobile phone again! ? Teacher:? Huh? I said, this parent comrade, would you please keep quiet at the parent-teacher meeting?

2 1. One day, the head teacher went to the dormitory of Class 2 to check the hygiene, and he smelled a foot odor as soon as he entered the door. The class teacher asked? Who didn't wash their feet last night? Student:? It's all washed ? Head teacher:? Wash it? Why is it so smelly after washing? How did you wash it? A said:? Soak hot water! ? B said:? Cold water stimulation! ? C embarrassed to say: Me? Dry cleaning. ?

22. The teacher asked: Xiao Ming, what do you mean by novice? Xiao Ming answered: Teacher, the novice just came out of the toilet.

23. Geography teacher: What is the outer layer of the earth? Classmate: Sweet milk tea.

24. After giving a wonderful speech, the biology teacher asked why nature is so prosperous. The following people widely tell that it is not the result of food love.

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