What is the mentality of colleagues who often do not attend group gatherings in the workplace?

One is a young girl who has just graduated. She said: Most of the people in the department are men, and they are a few years older than me. They are more relaxed during our group gatherings, where they can drink and chat. I particularly don’t like this. First, they and I don’t have the same language, I don’t know what to say, and I’m always reserved and unable to let go. Second, they drink alcohol while eating and have to sing after drinking, which I don’t like. When I have such time, I prefer to play alone or with my classmates, so I find various excuses not to participate.

There is also a mother of two children. She said that she has been working for several years and has a good relationship with her colleagues. She hopes to go out to eat and relax together. However, her mother-in-law always complained. After all, the two children needed adults to take care of them and could not leave at all.

The third person is a young man. This is a seemingly ordinary person. Later, I learned that he was constantly recharging his batteries outside of working hours. He was preparing to take the postgraduate entrance examination. He said that when you are young, improving yourself is the most important thing, and you should "waste" your time on the most important things. Therefore, he clearly knows where he is going on a certain day, what is important and what is not important, and his actions will be firm.

The above three types.

I seem to have been the kind of colleague you mentioned, and I feel deeply about this. Let me share my views based on my own experience! Personally, I am relatively introverted. In group activities at work, I would not participate if I wanted to.

In the beginning, I was really willful like this a few times. As soon as the work unit organized an activity, I would ask for leave, or I would go for half a day and then leave in the afternoon. Of course, whether I asked for leave or left for half a day, On the one hand, it was all approved by my direct supervisor, on the other hand, there were other colleagues who asked for leave and slipped away together, so it was not an isolated act.

But then I felt that this was not the way to go, and wanted to challenge my introverted self to see if I could force myself to participate in a group activity normally.

So I tried to do this during a company team building, and then...that day...I was very happy! ! ! On the one hand, it was because I completed the challenge I set, and on the other hand, participating in group activities was not as scary as I thought. After that, I realized that many of the emotions were imagined by ourselves and we were defeated. own imagination.

Going back to the question, colleagues who often do not participate in group activities at the unit may have the following situations:

Just like me before, I would find excuses to stay away from gatherings. Introverts from afar will understand how terrifying it is to be in a crowd.

However, you must know that many things cannot be hidden for a lifetime, so later I tried to see if I could just attend a party organized by my work unit normally. Later I found that it was not as scary as I thought.

So, if you are an introvert like me, I strongly recommend that you try this method, you will be pleasantly surprised.

I have a colleague who is older and usually works very seriously. Because he is a little stubborn, communication is sometimes not smooth, but fortunately, it does not affect his work most of the time.

He doesn’t often participate in group activities organized by the company. I heard other colleagues ask him before, and he only said: He doesn’t want to go. If you are a stubborn person, you are unlikely to think of flexibility. If you don’t want to participate in group activities, you just don’t want to participate. You won’t think too much about it, and you don’t care whether you will be isolated by your colleagues if you don’t go.

A former colleague of mine, we were in the same office before he left. During the period before he left, he frequently heard various complaints about the company. Of course, this does not mean that he is a complainer. People, because it is true that in some of these things, some people have gone too far and it is unfair to them.

During that time, he did not participate in any group activities organized by the company. One reason was because he had too many negative emotions towards the company, and the other was because he was resigning and did not want to feel tired anymore.

I am also one of my colleagues who doesn’t like to attend group gatherings. Of course, we will go to team-building activities for the entire company.

Let me tell you my inner thoughts.

There are old employees in the company who have been here for several years. They often gather together to play. They also have their own internal group in private, and they chat openly in it even when they are at work. They don't exclude that they form small groups. In short, they maintain their own small group carefree. For new employees who can give them fun, they will be recruited into the group. Of course it would be very uncomfortable for other people to watch.

Group gatherings usually take place after get off work. At this time, it usually takes 2-3 hours to finish the meal, and sometimes even more when you add the KTV. So there is no time to rest at all. I personally don't like this method, and I don't think going to KTV can bring me any relaxation. It may also be due to personal personality factors.

At general gatherings, as long as not the entire company is present, they will usually speak ill of other colleagues at the dinner table, or make various complaints about the company. Or gossip about various companies. The party gave everyone an opportunity to complain, but in the end it failed to become more united. It is possible that future cooperation will be more inconvenient because of a colleague's words

At work, there are also some group gatherings. The advantage is that colleagues can relax and not be in a tense working atmosphere all the time, which is also a benefit for employees.

But if you want to get along well with your colleagues and cooperate smoothly at work, it is necessary to maintain an appropriate distance.

Group gatherings are not within the scope of their duties, and employees have the right to decide whether to participate. Since everyone's situation is different, the choice is also different. Parties should not be mandatory.

In real life, there are generally the following situations of not participating in group gatherings:

My colleague, Brother Zhang, was born in 1981. He basically does not participate in various group gatherings organized by our unit. As long as it is some activities organized during off-duty time, unless he is working overtime, he usually does not participate.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to participate, but because of family reasons, he simply doesn’t have time to participate. He has two children, the second one is just born and needs someone to take care of him. His parents are older, have been in poor health, and are often hospitalized. The old couple can barely take care of each other and cannot take care of his children at all. His parents-in-law were from out of town, far away from his home, and they had grandchildren to take care of, so they couldn't escape. He had no choice but to become a stay-at-home mother and take care of the children at home.

After get off work, Brother Zhang usually picks up his eldest son from school and then goes home to cook for his wife and children. After dinner, he went to his parents' house to help them do some housework within his ability, especially some physical work. Brother Zhang is even more tired after get off work than at work and has a full schedule. Therefore, he is off work and has almost no time to attend parties or other entertainment activities.

Therefore, when some people do not participate in group dinners, it is not because they do not want to participate, but because they really cannot participate due to constraints such as family reasons and other objective factors. Objective conditions do not allow him to be so relaxed and leisurely. Getting off work does not mean doing nothing. There are more important things waiting for him to do at home.

My partner is such a person. She doesn't like to attend company dinner parties. Every time their company organized group activities such as dinners and picnics, she always made excuses and refused to participate. She is a woman who likes quietness very much. She usually likes to read and write articles in the study room, but she doesn't like noisy environments. He is relatively resistant to group dinners. One is that he doesn't like noise, the other is that dining outside is not as hygienic as the ones at home, and the third is that he doesn't like socializing at the wine table. Therefore, she always chooses not to participate in such activities.

People like my partner, especially women, are relatively introverted, naturally like to be quiet, like to spend time with their families after get off work, enjoy the relaxation and freedom in their free time, and prefer to spend time with their husbands and children. Subjectively, I don’t like group dinners, I don’t like noisy, and I even resist such group activities.

Many people in the workplace sometimes face such a choice. Make an appointment with friends, have a dinner together, AA system, go or not? A friend is treating me to a treat. We gather in small groups and have a drink together. Should we go or not? Company group dinner, AA system, go or not?

Go ahead, you have to spend money, whether it is an AA system or a banquet, you need to spend money. Under the AA system, expenses are shared evenly; when going to a banquet, you can't go empty-handed, and you can't just eat from others without inviting the guests yourself. So, no matter what the situation, you have to spend money.

For some people, their family financial conditions are average and they are burdened by mortgage loans. Their daily wages take up more than half of their mortgage payments. The couple's wages are basically spent and they have no savings. They are typical earners. What do we bring to the party? In order to reduce expenses and avoid overeating and drinking, I can only choose not to participate in group gatherings and selectively attend gatherings with friends.

For this kind of people, it’s not that they don’t want to participate in group dinners, it’s just that their strength doesn’t allow it, so they silently choose to be frugal and frugal.

Some people are more withdrawn and like to be alone. They don’t like to make friends, don’t like large crowds, and don’t like to participate in such group gatherings.

They usually pay attention to work and complete their jobs seriously during working hours. The relationship with their colleagues is purely colleagues. All interactions are centered around work and do not involve any emotional factors or personal feelings. . During working hours, we interact because of work. During off-duty hours, he refuses to participate in non-work-related activities organized by the company and does not like to develop personal relationships with colleagues.

This kind of person does not like interpersonal communication due to personality reasons. However, it is understandable that he has the right to do so during off-duty hours.

In short, no matter what the purpose or reason is, it is normal not to participate in group dinners during off-duty hours, and employees have the right to decide their own private time. As bystanders, we have no right to force others to do anything at the expense of their personal time. There is nothing wrong with doing it or not doing it.

"After get off work at 6 o'clock tonight, everyone will go to ×× restaurant to have a meal with Mr. Chen." Every time before getting off work, I would feel uncomfortable when I receive such an "order" from the work group. , I really want to escape.

I just hate employees who have to attend company gatherings after get off work.

This idea originated after I was dating. I thought that working 8 hours was already very tiring, and having to attend a company party after get off work was simply exploiting my personal time. I still have to have enough private time for my private life.

What's more, after I dated, got married, and had children, I felt that time was more and more precious, and this kind of gathering took up a lot of my time.

Occasionally one or two company gatherings are acceptable. After all, opportunities for socializing are needed outside of work, which can be considered a benefit provided by the company to employees. But once a week, or 5 or 6 times a month, I can't accept it.

Another possibility is that when this kind of gathering outside of work is labeled as mandatory, I think it has changed its quality. It is no wonder that some employees are unwilling to participate.

Under what circumstances are requirements labeled mandatory?

Once, the company held an event with other cooperative companies. During this cooperation period, we ate almost every meal with the cooperative companies, which was regarded as a social event and a social networking event.

When the event came to an end, it was already around 10 o'clock after I had dinner with these colleagues, so I hurried home because my son had a fever. During this time, I Even working overtime, I had no time to take care of him.

On my way home, I received a call from my colleague. He said in a commanding tone: "Why did you go home so quickly? Come back soon. Mr. Li wants to have supper and drinks with us." Beer, no less!”

I explained that my son had a fever at home and I had to go back early to check on him. You guys can play without waiting for me.

As a result, the colleague refused to give up and continued to talk on the phone, saying in a serious tone: "No one can be left behind. Come back immediately. Mr. Li is our big customer. Can you offend me?" ? Can you bear the responsibility? ”

Wow! My colleagues at the same level actually said these words to me in a commanding tone. I was so angry that I directly replied: If you can’t offend me, just resign! I had nothing to say when I was fired from my job because I didn't go to a late night snack. So, I hung up the line decisively.

I feel that company gatherings are all for the purpose of encouraging, rewarding, and enriching employees’ lives. If their nature becomes compulsory, it will change its quality. It’s no wonder that some colleagues are unwilling to participate.

Everyone has his own thoughts and wishes, long live your understanding!

In the workplace, it is inevitable that there will be various team-building or group gatherings and dinners together. But there are always some people who don't fit in. We were originally happy to discuss where to go to play or where to eat, but the word "I won't participate" immediately changed the whole atmosphere. What's the mentality of colleagues who often don't participate in group gatherings?

As the saying goes, people have different paths and don’t want to make plans. As for those people and things that I don't like, although I can't talk about it as a colleague, there is nothing to talk about with these people. After all, it is not enough to talk about it, and dinners and other activities also require energy. Rather than wasting this energy, it is better to do something good yourself and improve your own strength. This is generally the mentality of people who are more motivated and can't stand the state of people eating, drinking and having fun in the company every day.

Most of the people in the workplace today have a high pressure in life. They are basically occupied with work and have no time to spend with their families. How can they spend their free time eating, drinking and having fun? Instead of going out to eat and drink, it is better to Go home after work, spend more time with your parents, wife and children, spend your free time cultivating your children, tutoring your children with homework, playing with your children, doing housework with your wife, and taking care of your parents. For them, family is the most important, and they are happiest living this way.

It doesn’t mean that I really don’t want to go to the party. The main reason is that he has a withdrawn personality and likes to be alone. He doesn't like lively places, let alone work gatherings. Even if a friend wants to ask him to have a meal, it is very difficult. It's objection! In fact, this kind of person just wants to be led quietly by himself, alone in his own little world.

If you are too out of place in the workplace, it will be very difficult to integrate into a team or collective. After all, the era of working alone has passed, and now more emphasis is placed on teamwork. If you don't like such group activities anymore, you can be absent, but not too obviously. For example, go only once every three times. Control the frequency so that you don't waste your energy or lack of communication in the workplace.

In my workplace, we are in the same company, that is, we are all colleagues. I never attend any dinner parties. Except for the company boss’s treat, colleagues cannot eat together because they will inevitably say something that I don’t know what will happen. As a result, I don’t know how this word will reach the boss, then you will be in trouble. I usually laugh when we meet, but there are many people who stab me in the back. I usually say that I don’t like to travel, but the company runs faster than a rabbit when I line up. There are a lot of people who often say that this or that is not good in the company, and they just won’t leave. They often eat together and call themselves brothers. One of them was fired by his boss for doing something wrong. None of the brothers comforted him. I’ve seen so many of them. It doesn't matter, live your life and don't care what others say.

Generally speaking, in every company, there are some employees who don’t like to attend gatherings of colleagues.

Of course, everyone’s situation is different, so their motives are also completely different. For example, there is a colleague around me named Lao Yu. The reason why he does not attend gatherings among colleagues is because he has a child at home. Normally, because he neglects to take care of his children, he feels that he owes them a lot, so when his classmates go to bear market gatherings, he will try his best to refuse, hoping to spend more time with his children. This is what we Everyone can understand it.

There is another kind of person who doesn’t like this kind of ineffective social interaction. They feel that colleagues always talk about useless things at gatherings, and these tasks are not of much help, and there is a lack of communication between colleagues. The relationship between colleagues may not last long, so I don’t bother to participate in such group activities.

Of course, there is another kind of person. This kind of person is short of money. They feel that their living conditions are relatively average, and each party costs a lot, so they find some reasons to refuse to participate in the event.

I don’t like to attend parties. I will only go to the annual meeting at the end of the year. Don't join any groups. He is neither introverted nor inferior.

I think career is to make a living, do what you should do, and get what you should get. This is relatively simple. This kind of gathering is quiet if you don't talk, and the talk turns into rumors about so and so getting a bigger bonus, so and so, and so and so, which is not beneficial to the work.

I think there are four types of colleagues who often do not attend work dinners: introverted, busy with side jobs, family oriented, and health oriented.

Some people like to be alone by nature, and they don’t like lively places. Let alone work gatherings, even if it is a dinner date with a few friends, he can push it away, let alone regular group dinners? That's a no-go.

In today’s workplace, most people are under great pressure in life, so many people have opened up their own side businesses, such as playing with self-media, doing e-commerce, and even giving gifts. Takeout, then you have the free time to eat, drink and have fun, it’s important to make money!

Some people go home after get off work, stay with their wives and children, and spend most of their time educating their children, tutoring their children with homework, playing with their children, and doing housework with their wives. They are happy and happy. For them, family is the most important thing, and they are happiest living this way.

At work gatherings, it is inevitable to eat and drink. Sometimes there are even two dinners, and you need to stay up all night. Once in a while is okay, but often, it is definitely harmful to your health. Some people are very concerned about their health and are unwilling to participate in such social activities, so they will also decline regular group dinners.

In fact, everyone in the workplace has their own preferences and living habits. Some people like to be lively, while others don’t like to have dinner together frequently. There is nothing wrong with this. There is no need for some people to question others. .