How to use the bride price after receiving it?

Last year I married my daughter, and she gave me a gift of 100,000 yuan. I asked her to deposit it in the bank in my daughter’s name, and my son-in-law had the password. Then I gave her a dowry of 300,000 yuan, which was also deposited into my daughter’s account. To be honest, I don’t know where the betrothal gift came from, and how much is reasonable. I just feel that the marriage of young people nowadays is like a game of "playing house". It is not like the people of our generation who have longing for family and strictness. Xiao, responsible. Therefore, parents want to provide their daughters with a guarantee, and are always afraid that their daughters will suffer a loss on the issue of marriage. Girls are weak in this society, but if you have thousands of worries, you will inevitably make mistakes. Marriage and family still rely on them. If you run your own business and use the betrothal gift as a guarantee, you are still deceiving yourself and comforting yourself. As for canceling the betrothal gift, it is probably not feasible, but it can be humane. The two parties are relatives and are one family. If the betrothal gift hurts the harmony or borrows money everywhere, the gain outweighs the gain. In short, for the sake of the children , Elderly people should do everything in moderation, and try to think about their children as much as possible. The water will flow downwards. Moreover, the bride price will eventually be taken away by the daughter for the use of their small family. You can decide how much to measure, and don’t get entangled. Let's discuss the matter and don't let it hurt the harmony. Sometimes money is not everything. Don't let this affect the harmony of your children and family.

In short, I have pity on the hearts of parents in the world. Everything is for the good of their children and should not be a disservice.

Let me tell you a true story that happened to me. Before the marriage, the man bought a house and said that he didn’t have that much money anymore. The two families negotiated and the woman’s house was renovated. No betrothal gift was required, and a car was given as a gift. Half a year later, the woman became pregnant. The man cheated on her during the pregnancy. If the man filed for divorce, the law would not allow the woman to get divorced during pregnancy and pregnancy. So the man made things difficult for her, trying to get her to have an abortion. She refused. During a quarrel, During the process, the man pushed the woman very hard, and she was pushed down the stairs, causing the woman to miscarry, uterine rupture, and massive bleeding. The uterus was removed to save her life. As a result, she was unable to have children for the rest of her life. The end result was divorce and she took away her dowry. The car that the man had ruined was in disgrace. With this ending, his life's fate was over. Who would marry a woman who can't have children?

Inspired by this incident, my daughter's I want a bride price, as everyone wants, no more or less. The daughter’s bride price plus the dowry money is half of the house payment. The property rights are equal to both men and women. If the man refuses, use the bride price plus the dowry money. I will buy a house for my daughter. If I don’t have enough money, I will pay the down payment. I will pay off the mortgage myself and leave a guarantee for my daughter. Women are inherently weak. If they don’t leave a way out, they won’t be able to find a place to cry if something happens. Things are unpredictable. Who knows what will happen next? What will happen? Give the bride price and dowry money to the daughters and let them take charge of it themselves. After divorce, they should clean up and leave the house. If the man has a house, it is easier to find a wife. If he has money, what kind of wife can't be found? Can the woman do it? Now the bride price of 100,000 and 80,000 yuan is so criticized by everyone. After marriage, the man does immoral things, and the woman does not even have any protection. Who has come out to say that women are weak and need protection. The current marriage law does not protect women and children. The idea of ????giving children a guarantee is something every parent should consider for their daughters. Raising a daughter is really not as good as raising a son. It is really hard work

So, I think your mother is right. , in line with what most mothers think!

However, my husband voluntarily gave 20,000 yuan to my mother. Originally, my mother didn’t want to take the call. Then I thought about it and accepted it.

On the day I got married, my mother gave me a bankbook worth 60,000 yuan.

Tell me, 20,000 yuan was the gift money my husband gave me, and the other 40,000 yuan was given to me by them for me to keep for myself and to use in the future. (My mother told me when she deposited this money in the bank. At that time, they were thinking of depositing 100,000 yuan in it, but I refused. I said that when my two sisters got married, I was in college, and you gave me the money. It’s not much, so it can’t be made special because of me. My two sisters said it was their opinion and wanted my parents to give me more. I know my sisters feel sorry for me, but I can’t take it from my parents. It’s too much money, and it’s not easy for my parents to save money. I have to leave some money for my parents’ retirement. )

At the same time, my mother told me that when I have my own family in the future, I can no longer act like this. We were so lavish in the past, and we can no longer be willful. Focus on honoring your parents-in-law, take good care of your own family as your top priority, and manage your marriage well. When you have a child, be a good mother and don’t let your parents worry, and your parents will be satisfied! Don't touch this money at ordinary times. Only take it out when money is really tight.

Later, this money was used to buy a house in 2015, after my second child turned 100 days old.

However, her husband said: "Mom, we can get this money together with a little bit of money. Why should we be unhappy and break up because of this? If you don't want to Come on, I don't want you to pay a penny, I will find a way to solve it myself. However, I just ask you to have a better attitude. No matter what, when you go to her house, you are not allowed to show any expression, let alone show any displeasure. Just agree to any request her mother makes, and I will handle the rest myself. If you let her get angry, I will never marry anyone other than her in this life. , you can do it!”

Because of her husband’s attitude, although her mother-in-law was a little dissatisfied, she still actively raised money and gave her enough face and vanity. Heart.

After getting married, her mother gave her all the 150,000 yuan, and also gave her an additional 200,000 yuan.

What her mother said was similar to what your mother said. She also wanted to see the man's attitude and see if he valued his daughter. He didn't really want the gift money, let alone sell it. Daughter's.

So, girl, since your mother said this, you can just listen to your mother’s arrangements. I believe that your mother must be the person who loves you most in the world, and she must be thinking about you. !

Thank you for the invitation:

In general families, the betrothal gift for a girl is given to her daughter when she gets married, otherwise the daughter’s status in her husband’s family will be reduced in the future. This does not exclude families with parents who have special difficulties, such as If one becomes poor due to illness or natural disaster, part of the bride price can be used. But if you are poor due to laziness, gambling and other bad habits, the betrothal gift should not be retained. If your younger sibling has difficulty in studying, you can use part of it first, but you will know that the younger sibling will be grateful to her elder sister in the future. If the younger brother marries a wife and has children, buys or builds a house, the bride price should not be used.

After we receive the bride price, we first deposit it for our daughter. When her daughter gets married, in addition to the dowry items, her family will also give her tens of thousands of extra dowry money and deposit it into her bank card and give it to her. .

In other words, for example, if the man gives the woman a gift of 150,000 yuan, the woman's parents will first deposit the money in the bank. When the daughter gets married, in addition to the home appliances and other items as dowry, the woman will also spend a few extra dollars. Ten thousand yuan will be given to the daughter together with the bride price, which will be used for important expenses of the young couple's family in the future, such as having a child or starting a small business!

Personally, I think this situation is more reasonable. Both parents consider their children. In short, they give them to their children, so that they can have some financial foundation and some guarantees in case of emergencies or major events. Money, as the saying goes, don't panic when there is food in the vat!

Of course, there will be a few weirdos in every village, and there will also be a very few parents who will use their daughter’s gift money to buy a house or get married for their son. This is the case with a neighbor of ours, who used his daughter’s gift money She was asked to buy a house for her son. When she got married, not only was she not given a dowry, but she was not even allowed to take home a cent of the bride price. The consequence is that her daughter has been married for seven or eight years, and her husband's family still looks down on her. Whenever there is a conflict, her husband's family will complain. You have no right to speak. You were bought by our family with money. My son-in-law never goes to the home of his father-in-law and mother-in-law, and he is laughed at by the whole village.

Therefore, you must not be greedy for some money, because this money may be related to your daughter’s status and happiness in her husband’s family throughout her life. If you have difficulties, you can negotiate with both parties in the form of a loan after marriage. Never take it for yourself!

The above are the rules in our hometown and my personal views. Different regions have different practices. Everyone can express their opinions freely!

Money has its own arrangement. If you have money, you can invest it. If it is borrowed money, you will know better how to use it. Sometimes the money a man gives to a woman should be treated differently. It’s not like I’m going to give you my girl back.

Betrothal money in a certain area of ??Inner Mongolia: Generally, after the natal family receives the gift money, it is kept for future use by the daughter who is getting married. If the married daughter lives a happy life, the natal family will gradually transfer the gift money. It is given to the daughter. If her husband's family is not doing well, all the bride price received by the natal family will be used for the daughter's future living expenses. Of course, there are also some individuals who will use the bride gift money of the married daughter for urgent use, or if the natal family has a son who is getting married. When there is a shortage of funds, the mother's family will use the daughter's bride price as a last resort. Every place has different customs and has its own opinions. This is how a city in Inner Mongolia distributes the bride price. Welcome everyone to discuss with Little Sweet Potato Girl how to use the gift money in your area?

As for the betrothal gift, I personally think it varies from person to person. The ancients said that getting married is like a sworn bond. When I married my daughter-in-law, I asked my in-laws about the wedding gift. No one could have predicted it. My in-laws said eighty-eight yuan. I was confused at the time and couldn’t guess the true meaning, so I remained silent. A few days later, my son brought his daughter-in-law over. , I asked my son to ask his wife, and then his wife asked her mother. The answer was still 88 yuan. I was a little embarrassed, was it 8,800 yuan or 88,000 yuan. A few days later, I invited my in-laws to come over for dinner and chat. I checked his tone and found out that it was indeed eighty-eight yuan. Then I asked about the Dragon Boat Festival and asked seventy people. Later, my mother-in-law and in-laws discussed it and finally quoted me 40 yuan. Home, said it cannot be reduced any more. After the Mid-Autumn Festival, my in-laws decided to give me a gift of 2,880 yuan on the 22nd day of the twelfth lunar month in 2016. As a result, the dowry that came with me was more than 20,000 yuan. In 2017, my in-laws introduced my youngest daughter to her, and I didn’t ask for any money. Instead, I received 1,800 yuan to marry off my youngest daughter. The younger daughter saved 100,000 and brought it to the groom’s house. In short, the children will be married to the in-laws. , Look down and see you when you look up. It’s better to love each other first.

Nowadays, the amount of betrothal gifts is getting higher and higher. This is not caused by rich people, but by some women with brothers from poor families. Parents are marrying off their sons so that they can get a wife. The daughter was exploited, and in order to get more money, she repeatedly raised the price of the bride price for her daughter's marriage, and all the money for the bride price should be used for her son's marriage. However, when the daughter got married, she took the bride price without a dowry, which also made the daughter in her husband's family. It’s hard to be a good person without face, and there are many reasons why the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good. According to the old people, the first reason why a man gives a bride gift is because he values ??the woman. Secondly, if the woman’s family is poor and has no money for a dowry, you can ask the man for a bride gift. They use the money to pay for their daughter’s dowry, so that both men and women can have more face. They say how much dowry the girl’s family gave her, and how much the boy’s family married a rich and well-off woman. In the final analysis, it’s for people’s face. When I went to the countryside, there were people in the village. A girl got married, and her family gave her a very good dowry. I heard that the dowry was paid for with the groom’s gift money. I said, this is great. This time, her father figured it out and did something good for his daughter. But who knows? The dowry that came from the box was carried to the husband's house instead of half a box and half a box of bricks. The daughter's parents gained money and face, but it was a pain for their daughter. There is generally not much dowry money in the city where I live now, so I would like to take a ten Ten thousand or eighty thousand, but you have to get a dowry after taking the betrothal gift. Many girls’ parents don’t need the betrothal money, and the dowry is given according to the family budget. Some girls with good conditions also need hundreds of thousands as a dowry, and they also have savings, so they just take the dowry. After receiving the gift money, I gave it to my daughter in a box and took it back to her in-laws' house. This is why parents should think more about their daughters and prevent their daughters from being bullied. They should not ask for the gift money like a lion, and don't keep it to themselves if they ask for it. What belongs to a daughter should be given to her for her to use in her married life and in raising children.

Because we are in a rural area, the custom in our hometown is that the house belongs to the man, and the furniture, home appliances, and daily necessities belong to the woman. The bride price is brought to the groom's family on the day of the wedding, but now most of the elderly love their daughters to add a sum of money and the bride price to the groom's family.