Tell me about the first half of my life.

? There are still 18 days before my 32nd birthday. Coincidentally, 20 18 12 3 1 is my birthday, which means this is a node. I have always regarded 20 18 as a turning point in my life. The first half of my life is relived in my mind like a memoir, and I summed up my first half.

1, I was a sensible child when I was a child. I come from a remote rural mountainous area, and our big family is a "violent" family. As long as I can remember, my grandfather, my mother, my uncles and aunts all have violent tendencies. It is conceivable that the family education we received as children was a combination of "verbal violence and armed violence". Unfortunately, my mother is the eldest in the family. Besides being beaten and scolded by her grandfather, she also has to take care of her younger brothers and sisters. So my mother is also a victim of family education failure. She has been listening to my mother talk about how strict her grandfather was when she was a child. The educational method she gave us is still the way to continue the older generation. In fact, for me, military education has not left any scars, but language violence has affected my life. There are still many such verbal violence, but today I am talking about family events.

? My mother has a bad temper. Besides working hard, she will complain. I can understand her anxiety, anxiety and bad temper now. What's more sad is that she didn't go to school and didn't know how to express her emotions and communicate nonviolent. Naturally, my father, my sister and I all became the targets of her venting, especially when she quarreled with my father, she always said divorce. I remember doing the most when I was a child: being a lubricant for my parents' relationship. I have a sister. Because she didn't want to hear her parents quarrel every day, she made many friends at school. She chooses a friend's house for the night every week and leaves me at home. I naturally took on the lubricant of my parents' relationship. Whenever my parents quarrel, I make them laugh by making faces, getting excellent grades or playing practical jokes. As long as I see them laughing, I think it's over. Although I feel inferior, I need it. When I was a child, there were only two things in my mind: how to make my parents laugh and how to encourage my father to coax my mother. Because I think I must be sensible, or my family will be scattered;

I was a sensible child in high school. I got poor grades in high school. Every time my mother told me that my relatives and friends were going to college, I still remember the language and expression that worried that I would not pass the exam and pinned my hopes on me. I know my mother is very strong. I want to be sensible and try to get into college. I am their best hope at home. They didn't go to school themselves My sister left the campus early because of rebellion. I am their only hope. I must satisfy their wishes. Therefore, even though my grade in Grade Two keeps counting down, I sleep at 5 o'clock in the middle of the night every day in Grade Three, and even I recite in the classroom on weekends. I can recite the five textbooks that need to be tested from beginning to end, and finally everything pays off. I was successfully admitted to two Hubei Institute of Economics. Although it is not a particularly famous university, my grades rank first in the whole institution. I think I am sensible, and I have fulfilled the hope entrusted by my parents.

I was a sensible child when I was in college. The time when I went to college should be the happiest time in my first half of life. Parents quarrel less, and there are more friends around them, so the pressure becomes less. Many students go out to do part-time jobs, but I stubbornly believe that I should be sensible, get good grades and repay my parents with school scholarships, so I refuse all extracurricular activities. What I do most every day is to read books and do problems in the library, and get the first and second scholarships every year. Every time I take it back to honor my parents, I feel sensible.

I was a sensible wife when I got married. After marriage, I have always loved my husband and his family in the way I think is right. Being a wife for the first time, I have done everything a sensible daughter-in-law should do. I am proud of my in-laws and love them in the way I think is right, whether they accept it or like it. In marriage, I always put the overall situation first, and I think I am sensible.

I am a sensible mother after giving birth. I know that my family education has a great influence on my life, so I keep reading and studying in the process of treating my children. I don't want my little mistakes to affect my children, even I am only rational about education, and even hide my emotional color, for fear that my own reasons will affect my children's life. I think I am sensible;

There are many things that I think make sense. This is the only thing in the first half of my life, so I don't know what I want. I feel that I have lived for others all my life. When I was a child, I wanted to be the sensible child in my parents' hearts. After marriage, I want to be a sensible wife. After giving birth, I want to be a sensible mother at home. I've always felt like Yiping in the Rain. The family education experience as a child made her lack of love, independent, inferior and irritable. After meeting Shuhuan, she understood what love was and got love from Shuhuan. She began to pull out one thorn after another for love. In the process of this love, she gave up on herself, but Shuhuan hurt her again. She was depressed and miserable, and finally chose to jump off the Waibaidu Bridge. Finally, she fell in love. Although this is a story, I can feel that the most painful time for Yiping is when she pulls out the thorns one by one, and 20 18 is when I pull out the thorns.

The first half of my life was full of gratitude and regret:

? I want to thank my first half of my life. These experiences have enriched my life. I am grateful that I was born in the countryside, and I have a tenacity that is not afraid of hardship and fatigue since I was a child; I thank my parents for training me to go to college, otherwise I wouldn't learn to solve many problems with knowledge; I thank my husband for choosing to encourage me no matter what I look like. I thank my son for teaching me how to love. I am grateful to everyone I have met in my life who has tolerated and encouraged me. Although I am lonely inside, I am always kind.

I also had regrets in the first half of my life. I didn't study and exercise at the age when I should struggle, and I didn't let myself understand this truth earlier. I regret that my son didn't understand the significance of family education before he was born, and he began to pay attention to it two years later; I regret not pulling out my thorn earlier and enjoying a happier life; I regret not understanding this truth earlier. I can learn to communicate well with my parents and grow up with them. ?

20 18 is a turning point in my life. The first half of the year was my most painful time. I was anxious, anxious and even depressed, and almost went to see a psychiatrist. But in July, I met a group of people who changed themselves with knowledge. At this time, I found that I was sensible for the first half of my life, but I lost myself. I always ignore my own feelings, thus ignoring the feelings of people around me. Because I don't know love, I just say it in intimate relationships.

After half a year's study, my biggest gain:

1, a lot of reading and listening to books made me begin to understand the source of my problems. I don't have to keep denying myself. I can accept my shortcomings. These shortcomings can be my thorns or the cornerstone of my growth. I know how much thinking affects a person. I know how much influence family education has on a person. I started to change. I began to open myself to accept myself, accept the people around me, and stop treating myself as a hedgehog.

2. Writing is a self-healing process. I didn't want to write before because writing a diary hurt my mother's heart when I was a child, so I refused to describe all my stories in words. Until 20 18, I began to write about my experience again, and my previous emotions were released, and I became more and more optimistic. I don't think negatively anymore. I brought happiness to my family, and most importantly, I felt happy myself.

3. Exercise. I didn't think of exercise until my health was fine. After reading the book "Everyone's War", I realized that exercise and a healthy diet can help me recover my healthy body. Besides, I'm also a minor problem. After exercise, my body is more energetic;

- ? Gorgeous dividing line.

For the rest of my life

This is the last time I write about my experience.

Because I have completely walked out.

It's time to start a new life

Writing about my experience only tells more parents that family education is extremely important to their children's life.

I use my personal experience to help more children have a happy childhood.

I won't blame my parents for all my problems.

The fact is that the lack of love and belonging in childhood directly affects the sense of belonging and values in adulthood.

I lost myself in the first half of my life.

I am a controlling parent raising children.

I have no control over my life.

I have always thought that I have no ability to control my life.

I've been denying myself

Fortunately, I am lucky.

Because I met my husband.

His love made me constantly reflect on myself?

Because I don't want to lose this happy home.

But there are still many people around, unfortunately.

I will never get out of this shadow.

Childhood can bring you growth or become a stumbling block.

The first half of my life is over.

There are only three words for the rest of my life: be myself.

Understand love and be sensible.

Love yourself and your family?

There is love in the heart, and there is direction in the future.

My future will be written by myself.

I lost my dream in the first half of my life, but I am still interested.

In the first half of my life, I got rid of thorns. I can't be a hedgehog I can be myself.

I won't blame my childhood any more.

Because what really affects your life is yourself for the rest of your life.

Final appeal:

Whether you are a parent or a child reading an article.

Please know about family education.

I hope everyone can be a beacon to guide children.

Don't be a boulder that suppresses children's growth

Children can only rely on their parents until they are sensible.

No matter how parents treat their children.

Children will learn how to survive in this family.

Behind the superficial obedience and understanding may be a lifelong injury.

Maybe the pain of childhood will gradually disappear with age.

Childhood is the starting line for children.

No matter how you run, you can reach the finish line.

It's just different speed.

So be a child manager.

I hope to help more people realize this problem in the future.

Because parents got a job without training.

We need to learn by ourselves and grow up with our children.

* * * Encourage!