Humorous terms of menopause

1. Humorous and interesting short sentences Life is only three days, and people who live in yesterday are confused; Those who live in tomorrow wait; People who live in the present are the most practical.

The road to success is always under construction.

I really want to make money into my hobby.

The boy I once loved had the most handsome back in the world.

A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil.

The sign of immature men is that they can die bravely for their ideals, and the sign of mature men is that they can live humbly for their ideals.

There are always a few mistakes in the long road of life.

I want the whole world to know that I am keeping a low profile.

I accidentally want to grow old with you.

2. Humorous short sentences A person is afraid of hardship, doesn't want to help Tibet, and lies that he is blind. Hearing this, the superior let a beautiful woman stand naked in front of him and asked, "See?" ? A: no, the superior flew a foot to his hip: damn, the second child is straight and still can't see? Pack your bags and enter Tibet tomorrow. The important revelation of this matter: 1. Humanization can truly understand people. 2. Organization is always better than individual. 3. Instinct will betray you. 4. The organization can only be soft, not hard.

How much sadness can you have? God replied: the trouble of life is that it is difficult to buy a house all one's life. I'm worried that I can't prevent cooking oil. Sick troubles, life savings in the hospital. There is no one to rely on when you are old. I'm worried about graduation, and it's hard to make a living by finding a job. Eat meat and rinse a hot pot of fake mutton. Living in sorrow and working hard all your life are in vain. The sorrow of death, a graveyard and a building.

If a woman is willing to dress herself up with money for dinner, then someone must be willing to invite her to dinner; If a man is willing to spend all his sleeping time running a business, then someone must be willing to sleep with him.

What is a man: a prince for twenty years, an emperor for one day, a slave for ten months, and an ATM for life!

Humans like to cut down trees to make paper, and then print "protecting trees and forests" on paper!

Hope to adopt!

3. Say the funniest sentence 1. Planting grass won't make people lie down. Why don't you plant cactus? 2. I have a little thought, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it! 3. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people! It turns out that as long as people are separated, people who are familiar with each other will gradually alienate.

5, go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat! 6, men fool women, called flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love. 7. The government thinks about how to tax reasonably, the boss thinks about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I think about how to sleep reasonably! 8. Time is for wandering, body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and soul is for singing.

9. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe, but some people see 10. How far is forever? Get out, boy! 1 1, met a writer's signature: it may look like it, but it may not. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

12, no one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit. 13, I want to puppy love, but it's already late ... 14, my god! My clothes have lost weight again.

The important task after 15 and 80 is to manufacture 08. 16, people have plenty of backgrounds, but I only have my back ~ ~.

17, gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am. 18, reminding everyone that it is very important to learn how to repair notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't repair his notebook ... and everyone knows what happened afterwards.

(Since the Edison Chen incident, I won't say much about the reasons. ) 19, I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't say so much as you like. 20. It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we are too demanding of the story! 2 1, flowers often do not belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.

The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously. 23. It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with people who try their best to get you to end it.

Sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously. 25. Even if you believe it, there are lies hidden in the middle.

26. Real good friends are not together with endless topics, but together, even if they don't talk, they won't feel embarrassed. 27, no other half 100 points, only two people 50 points! 28. The people who are willing to stay and argue with you are the ones who really love you! 29. There is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.

30. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem, but I am poor. 3 1, only women and heroes are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find.

32. After seeing me, you will suddenly find-ah, handsome can be so single-minded! 33. Ask a colleague: "Did you buy PetroChina?" Colleagues said, "Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec! " 34. I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon.

After eating the first one, I was shocked. "Is there anything worse in the world?" I cried after eating the second one. "There really is." . When a mouse gets angry, everyone is a sick cat.

36. People who travel all over the brothel are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao. 37. Take your advice and leave me ten books! 38 years old and 0 years old, 10 years old is improving every day.

20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, it is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, it is full of popularity.

Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall! 39. I am an animal when I take off my clothes, and I am the devil wears Prada when I put on my clothes! 40. "Honey, I'm ... I'm pregnant for ... three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, and you're not responsible for it ..." 41. We have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dung.

42. After reading the language of 10 years, it is better to talk about QQ for half a year. 43. Being lazy in bed in the morning, I took out six coins from my pocket: If all six are heads, I will go to class! After thinking for a long time, forget it, I won't take the risk ... 44. I bought a pottery jar from the Western Zhou Dynasty for 80,000 yuan, and went to the Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously, "Where is this from the Western Zhou Dynasty?" This is from last week! "45. I can tolerate that my figure is fake, my face is fake, my chest is fake and my ass is fake! ! ! But I just can't stand thousands of dollars. Yes! ! ! ! 46. Scholars play dead for their confidants, while women have plastic surgery for those who please themselves.

47. Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly to discover that you are really ugly. 48. personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

49. Give me a little sunshine, and I will rot. You must eat a little properly to lose weight.

5 1, shake, shake to Naihe Bridge. 52. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me! Come back quickly, I can't fool you alone! 54. Life is Song Like Zude's mouth, and you never know who will be unlucky next ~~~55. If you fall down, get up and cry again ~~~56. The world is hard to extricate itself, except for teeth, and there is love.

57. A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed, "555, I will never get married …" 58. Life is simple. Live, relax.

Life is not easy. 59. How much sadness can you have, just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel ... 60. When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat.

6 1, if something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first, and don't blame the earth for not having gravity when you are constipated. 62. clap your head to make a decision, and clap your chest to ensure that you leave.

63, we walk too fast, the soul can't keep up with ... 64, don't be as knowledgeable as the earth people ~ ~ 65, come out to mix, the wife will change sooner or later! When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up, but when I grew up, I found that the whole world couldn't save me ... 67. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my toad mother. 68. Why do you have to sleep for a long time before you die? A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.

70. You told me to get out, and I got out. You asked me to come back, I'm sorry, I was rolled away by 7 1. After you ignored me, I became a dog ~ ~! 72. The bus I caught in the morning had already left when I got to the platform.

So I had to chase and shout, "Master, wait for me.

If an idiot can fly, my company is the airport.

All men are created equal, except those who get married.

Can we go somewhere for a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet?

I think as long as I have some modest qualities, I will be a perfect person.

If you need advice or opinions, we will provide them for free; If you need the correct answer, please pay extra.

In the past, when the alarm clock rang, I often had the problem of patting it before going back to sleep, but since I put three mousetraps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated.

I have done many stupid things, but I don't care at all. Friends call it "confidence".

Experiment with two bugs. The one in the whiskey died, which proves that there are no bugs in the stomach when drinking whiskey.

My creativity is indescribable, my working ability is indescribable and my writing ability is indescribable.

If Bill Gates can get one yuan every time he restarts his computer, he will be rich.

I pretended to work for my boss, who pretended to pay me.

My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I haven't had a chance to interrupt her.

Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"?

My eyesight is very poor. For example, see the thumbtacks on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

Every day I keep setting a new world record-the number of days I have lived in this world.

In the internet world, your girlfriend may be a man and your boyfriend may be a woman, which is very painful, but you have to accept it.

Your shooting performance is really poor. If I were you, I would kill myself immediately in case you need to take more bullets.

Life is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4000 yuan from me and said that he would have the whole a2 operation. Now I don't know what he has become.

Notice to the robbers: Our staff only know Spanish, please wait patiently when robbing, and it is best to bring an interpreter, thank you!

Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

Everybody! Today is the 10 anniversary of my wife's 30th birthday!

I am forgetful, so my wife often tells me not to take an umbrella when I go out in rainy days, so there are ten umbrellas at home now.

All the columns except one are well filled in. The column of "relationship" should be filled with "mother-in-law" instead of "nervous"

Dad hit me twice today, the first time because he saw my two-point report card, and the second time because the report card was his childhood.

Tragedy is like I accidentally cut off my little finger; Comedy is like you accidentally fell into the sewer.

When arguing, the difference between men and women is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

Next, I will publish Mr. Smith's will. Before publishing the will, I would like to ask sincerely, Mrs. Smith, will you accept my proposal?

Don't call your children "rabbits", because from a genetic point of view, it is not good for parents.

Honey, I shouldn't shine my shoes with sheets, but I just got back from a business trip and I can't change them for a while. I was wrong.

In order to improve the safety of the product, we decided to print on the coke bottle cap: please open this end; Bottle bottom print: Please open the other end.

Reporter: According to a recent poll, people pay little attention to current affairs at home and abroad. Congressman, what do you think of this? Member: No problem, I don't care.

Mary, if you don't promise to marry me, I will kill myself at once, which is my usual practice.

If a lawyer and a politician fall into the river at the same time, would you rather have coffee or go to the movies?

It would be funny if it didn't happen to me.

Do you want to have good teeth? Here are three lessons for you: first, rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; Second, go to the hospital for a dental examination every two years; Third, mind your own business.

Without hair, dandruff is more prominent!

We are always used to thinking that the brain is the most important organ of the human body, but don't forget who made this judgment.

We should keep quiet when listening to the sermon in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

These are not rubbish! I collect antiques! Of course, you can throw it away if you don't like it.

Artificial intelligence cannot be compared with the stupidity of nature-because we advocate pure nature.

If a person still laughs freely in the face of criticism, then he may have found a scapegoat.

5.2 16 classic humorous short sentences tell me about the classic short sentences of 20 16.

1, you are a forest, but I have lost my way.

You didn't look back and I didn't stay.

Once the cigarette is finished, all that remains is determination.

4, was poked to the pain before desperately refuting.

5, you accompany her well, I am at home everywhere.

6. Pretend that the wind has never blown, and I have never lived in the future.

7. I live in the south, but you live in The Journey to the West.

8. If I live for you, I am not a fan.

9. Regret and youth are always tied together.

You always smile, but you never smile at me.

1 1, you have to hold tight, and the wind will be borne by me.

12, you play with your net to find your glory.

13, don't cry, I can't hold you.