Grandma, I'm really sorry about the emotional log.

Grandma, do you remember the promise you made with me when you were a child? Remember our agreement? Grandma, looking at you like that makes me sad. I can't shed tears in front of you, nor can I reveal a word in front of you. Grandma, sometimes I really want to hug you and cry, but my granddaughter can't do that, because then you will be suspicious and it will be easier to ask questions. I have to keep that pain in my heart.

Watching you lose weight day by day, watching you can't eat too much rice, and watching you eat tasteless boiled instant noodles, I really feel distressed. i do not want to grow up. Growing up means grandma is old. Growing up means grandma is sick. Grandma, I really don't know what to do. Every time I go to my grandmother's house, I feel distressed when I see my grandfather lying in bed. When I got home, I was even sadder to see my grandmother like this. Last time I was sick, At that time, you shed your long-lost tears, and that was for me. That sentence is for me: son, you will be fine. Don't think about those so-called photos and those so-called memories. Grandma, remember? This is what you said. I haven't forgotten it yet. My illness is not serious, but what about you? Why didn't we realize those wishes? What happened to the agreed future? I don't trust you anymore. Didn't you say you wanted to watch me grow up? Why didn't you keep your promise? My heart is really hurting now. Every time I see you and grandpa, I feel really sad. Sometimes I don't want to stay in this house because I don't want to see you in pain. I can only humble myself before you now. I can't say too much to you without scruple. I'm afraid you know the truth, and I'm afraid you can't stand it even more.

Dad put money in front of me that day, and I was surprised. How did you get so much money? So you gave it to me and my sister. When I saw the money, my heart began to hurt more inexplicably, and tears kept flowing out. Grandma, I don't need money, I don't need that much money, I just want you, as long as you are good, but people are not as good as heaven, and heaven is unfair to us. I hate all this, I hate all this, grandma. I don't want to suffer. I can't bear it. Those realities weigh me out. Do you know the feeling of heartache? I hate all this. Every time when I am most helpless, I will be stung hard. I can't stand it. Even if I have great will, I still can't bear it. I can't stand it. I am tired. . . .

I know I failed to realize the wish we once said, failed to realize, and I let grandma down.

I know that no one in this family will look at me more than you, and no one will say a word to me more than you. I know that only you will feel distressed if you lock yourself in your room every day without saying a word. I know only you will knock on my door and ask me out to chat with you for a while. I know that I will feel distressed except for you now, leaving only myself. I know that everyone's indifference to me is my revenge in the future. I know I don't want to. I don't want you to leave me. I'd rather shorten my life if it can make you feel less pain. I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to leave. .........

Your room used to be my refuge. My mother scolded me, and I would only hide in your place without saying a word. But now, I want to hide, but I can't go to your place. I can only hide in my room and cry secretly. I can't speak when I am wronged. I used to lose my temper and always take it out on myself when I was wronged. But what about now? I have no strength. I cry when I am wronged. Oh, I envy them. I envy them the love of my parents and the greetings from relatives, but I can only hide in that corner without being asked ... I used to have a grandmother, but now I can't let you worry about me all the time. I should try to grow up. I should try to experience the taste of love without relatives. Maybe someone will say.

Grandma, I can't trust anyone except you now. Nobody loves me except you. I have nothing to miss except you. I have never wronged anyone except you! ! !

Grandma, forgive me. ...

Forgive me for not realizing it. ......