Death is like a lamp going out

Since I became sensible, I have always believed that the concept of life and death is the great wisdom of life that can only be understood by extremely smart wise men. It is not the separation of life and death that ordinary people understand. But later I changed my view. Maybe that is just... My mother's casual words really narrowed my understanding of life and death, allowing me to see the true face of life and death more closely.

My mother said that death is like a lamp going out, and leaving alone is like a lamp going out. Don’t be too painful, don’t struggle too much, it’s just an ordinary thing. At that time, I just listened and didn't take it seriously. I still stubbornly believe that the death of my loved ones is absolutely unacceptable to me. Those so-called calmness and calmness are just the imagination and naivety of bystanders.

However, that year, I changed my view and realized that my mother’s words were by no means just words. That year, I seem to have forgotten which year it was. I only remember that year when I took the high school entrance examination, and that year my grandma died. I always feel that my childhood was full of elegance and simplicity, but it is hard to forget that there are such heavy things that have been engraved in my memory and deepened my superficiality. We cannot turn back time, but even though I dream of the boundless sea and vast mountains, the scenes of that day still occupy a narrow place in my heart. It was an ordinary weekend, it was the holiday and the end of the holiday. The sky is light blue, people open their eyes as usual, the pleasant wind of May is floating in the air, filled with the fragrance of earthy flowers and grass. But everything was not as beautiful as it seemed, but it was also a different day from beginning to end.

Mom: "I'll go to your grandma's house later, you go together."

Me: "I'm going back to school today and don't want to go out."

Mom: " Your grandma is sick."

Me: "Oh, then we have to come back early." At that time, I had long been used to my grandma falling ill from time to time, and even getting tired of it. When grandma got sick, it meant that my mother Will be affected again.

My grandma’s house is not far from my home, more than ten minutes’ ride on a battery scooter. The road that day did not get longer, but it seemed that it would never be finished. Maybe my mother and I didn’t want to finish it, and the road of life is not that easy to finish.

Mom: "I always feel that your grandma is sick this time and is different from usual"

Me: "Oh"

Mom: "I always feel Flustered"

Me: "Oh..."

We didn't talk much along the way, but this brief conversation made me unforgettable and made me believe in the love between parents and children. A communication that transcends time and space, beyond reality and common sense. Because grandma’s illness this time is really different from usual.

It is a custom in my hometown that when people leave, it is taboo to say "death" instead of "getting old". Grandma is old, with floral clothes, dark-colored hats, haggard face, and closed eyes... Grandma seems to be asleep, but she will never wake up again. Everyone present was crying, some were crying heartbreakingly at the death of their loved ones, and some were crying without tears to deal with the facade, but this moment was just to commemorate the disappearance of a soul, and to pray: Once this is gone, please leave well, to another world. , please have smooth sailing.

There will always be clouds in the sky, but the clouds will always be penetrated by the sun and scattered into ashes and turned into dust. Since then, my understanding of death has been almost zero. I am very sad, and I also know that my mother is even more sad. I thought that my grandma’s death would be a huge blow to my mother who was already frail and sick. I was very afraid that my mother would die from this. After a serious illness, I no longer look like myself. But the reality is not like this. She is not as fragile as I imagined. She works, eats, sleeps, everything is normal, everything is normal. Many people's vulnerability is for others to see, and the tears on their eyes attract the pity of countless people. Obviously my mother is not such a person. She gives people strength, but as for vulnerability, she leaves it to herself. Perhaps from that moment on, I believed that "death is like a lamp going out", that the living have passed away and the dead rest in peace.

Time goes by very quickly. Painful things will be hidden in people’s hearts and will no longer come out easily to make people sad, although they will never go away. It’s just that no one has the awareness of self-protection.

My little nephew was born in April this year. Taking advantage of the Qingming Festival holiday, I caught the evening bus. I was eager to see this new life. , this elf that brings us laughter and happiness.

However, on the way back, I learned that my uncle had passed away due to illness. I was saddened beyond words. I went to see him during the Chinese New Year. He was still fine. Although he was stooped, his eyesight was dim, and his consciousness was confused from time to time, but he could not tell. When I was on the verge of death, I didn't expect that I would leave this world forever in just a few months. Life comes and goes in a hurry. Why is this life in a trance so short? It is really like a burning candle. It emits a beautiful light when it is lit, and is pitifully dim when it is turned off.

Every time I have a holiday, I want to go to my hometown to see my grandma, but I don’t want to go back every time. I have a distant aunt, who is my grandma’s biological sister. She used to come to visit her every year around the Mid-Autumn Festival and stay at grandma’s house for a few days to chat about home life. Grandma would also prepare bedding for her in advance every year, looking forward to it and waiting. She is her last sibling living in the world, but she did not wait this year. Last winter, her aunt suddenly fell ill, and the hospital directly issued a death notice of late-stage cancer.

This year, grandma is still the aunt. Preparing the quilt, looking forward to it, waiting for her sister, she asked her aunt why she didn't come this year, but no one was willing to answer her

At this point, I suddenly remembered an idiom - separation between life and death, which probably means parting before death. It’s the last farewell before death, but I always feel that it has another meaning. Split these four words, the four processes of life, from beginning to end, "birth", you come to this world smoothly carrying the hard work of many people, from only crying, to learning to laugh, to learning to walk and run , learn to read and write; "Li", when you grow up, you will be forced by the pressure of society and traditional culture to leave home to study and work, to begin to adapt to being separated from the protection of your parents, to live a more independent life, to marry a wife To give birth to a child is to serve your parents, educate your children, and pass on the love and tradition given by your parents to the next generation; "die" after you have completed your mission in this world, enjoyed the happiness of your family, and drank the leisurely tea at dusk. It means you should leave; "Farewell", before setting off to the next world, don't forget to say goodbye properly, "Death is like a lamp going out, don't miss me."

When I was very young, I knew that "Be prepared for danger in times of peace". The more I cared about it, the more I was afraid of losing it. So I tremblingly vowed: "If any of my five family members and two dogs have an accident, they will be safe first." "We all stayed with it together." In the following years, the two dogs disappeared. Fortunately, the family of five still maintained the vitality of life.

How many people have accomplished the so-called endless life? , I don’t know, but I understand that everyone is small, and a person’s life is short in the long history. If we resist the length of life, it may be wonderful and enjoyable, and we will be satisfied.

We will eventually leave, leave this land we love and are tired of, and go to a strange world we know nothing about. On the way, we will drink Meng Po soup with tears in our eyes and forget about our lives in this life. Happiness and suffering, we no longer expect or regret, we wave and say goodbye, the lights go out in this life, and we will never see each other again. However, when a light goes out, a trivial matter happens every moment; when a person gets old, a trivial matter happens every moment. Those who stay, live well, and those who leave, please cherish them.