To say too much is to be wrong

0418 Reading Insights

Book title "The Charm of Speaking"

Author Liu Yong

Golden Sentences

001 ? Talking less nonsense is the first lesson in learning to speak. Many things in this world go wrong because of nonsense.

002? We often warn people that "too much talk will lead to mistakes" and we ask people to be careful not to say the wrong thing and get into trouble.

003? The greatest art of speaking is how you say it in the same sentence. Which thing should be said first and which thing should be said later. It is especially important that you know how to get to the point.

004? When speaking, you must grasp the "essentials", you must grasp the "key points", you must point directly to people's hearts, and you must be straightforward.

Insights

I have a cheerful personality and like to chat. We are usually willing to talk together in the workplace. Naturally, from time to time, there will be mistakes in talking too much.

When I know I have talked too much, I feel very upset and remind myself to be careful next time and not to speak too quickly, but I will make a "mistake" again.

A very popular saying on the Internet: It takes us two years to learn to speak, but it takes sixty years to learn to shut up. Most of the time, the more we talk, the further we distance ourselves from each other and the more conflicts we have. In communication, most people are always eager to express themselves and speak quickly without understanding the other person at all. It takes two years to learn to speak, but a lifetime to learn to shut up. Whether you understand or not, don’t say much. Speak slowly when you are upset and calm. If you really have nothing to say, don't say it.

This passage aptly expresses the idea that talking too much will lead to mistakes. Talking too much will lead to mistakes because when we usually talk, we always focus on ourselves and always want to express our thoughts or what we want to say. You must know that communication is a mutual expression between you and me. There is no interaction. When talking about communication, please focus on the other person.

Learn to listen first and then express. Many people chat with us mainly for self-confirmation and self-confidence. They need us to be a fan-like listener.

As mentioned in the article: From another perspective, your "talking too much" may also cause others to lose their ability to observe, and more seriously, "lose their creativity." For example, when you are confused about the situation or teaching children to learn composition, you first need to see what the other person says, that is, observe the other person and understand his thinking, and then use your "sword skills", that is, talk about what the other person wants, so that Your conversation will highlight your ability to think and speak.

Therefore, before you speak, you must first learn how to listen to the other party, judge first and then attack. Only when you know yourself and the enemy can you talk far.

I feel this deeply, because there is a "great person" in our unit. She can never understand what we are talking about. I didn't understand much about it at first. She is also talkative and always talks to us. chat.

Therefore, we often talk about the shorts and longs of our family together, discuss the news, etc., or she will ask some of our family members how to deal with problems when we get along, etc. I am also very enthusiastic to talk about my own. Suggestions, but she will never get the point, and she will misinterpret your meaning, so that later on I felt that she couldn't tell her the difference. Here I finally learned to "shut up".

This is because she didn’t get the point, and I felt “broken” in my heart. If I switch it around, if I don’t get the point, you can imagine what the other person’s heart will be like.

Therefore, speaking to the point is a very important "skill". For example, when we send a message to others or inform them of a task, we need to focus on it, and we cannot add our own subjective wishes to it at will. Otherwise, either you will "dig a hole" for yourself, or others will be "trapped" by you.

In addition, everyone’s understanding and tolerance are vastly different. If you miss the point, especially when telling bad news, it is easy to scare the other person into falling ill.

Remember: Talk to the point.