Super funny personality. Tell me I'll be the father you'll never have.

1. At the party, someone introduced me to a new friend, saying that he became a millionaire by speculating in stocks. Wow! Awesome! Admire you! I sat next to him and quietly asked him to teach me the secret. He said to me blankly: Actually, there is no secret. I am a multimillionaire. ?

It's too hard to be your baby. I better be the father you'll never get.

3. An old lady was crying alone. Her son saw it and asked her what was wrong. The old lady said: Your father gave me a dream! The son said, isn't this a good thing? Haven't you always missed my dad? The old lady cried and said, isn't Tomb-Sweeping Day coming soon? The old man said, don't burn too much, but don't let your grandson go to the grave. The son was puzzled and asked why. The old lady explained: Your father said that the homework that B-boy burned last year has not been finished yet!

Walking in the park after dinner, I saw a fat father and son doing sports. The father is helping his son do sit-ups, but his son is dying. Cried the father? Do you want to marry a wife like your mother in the future? ? The son shouted? Don't! ? I have energy again.

I won't share my sleeping position. If you are interested, come and see it tonight.

6. When I watched The Voice of China with my grandma, she said: Liu Huan doesn't chirp, and people are almost recognizing it. I said, that's May. . .

7. Taking a bath in Qixian Lake, Bajie can't see the rush. Tang Priest solemnly shouted at the lake. Donors, beware of crocodiles! ? Seven fairies ran ashore naked. Bajie lamented: Master's IQ can't be surpassed!

When my roommate was in a hurry to go back to school, he bought a ticket from the conductor. When checking in, the ticket inspector said:? Please take out your disability certificate! ? My roommate's mouth? Uh-huh, Yada? Yes, my hand is still gesturing. Later, the ticket inspector had no choice but to let her get on the bus. The sisters dared not speak all the way, and then scolded the scalper for more than a month!

9. My son and my sister are doing homework together upstairs. The little girl asked her son: Is there much homework in the first grade? Son back: more! Then I heard two people sigh over there: hey! Preferably young. At that time, I didn't have to write anything in kindergarten!

10. Yue Lao, please change the cable next time you hold the red line for me. It's both incoming and not easy to break.

1 1. I used to feel inferior and dared not play with women, so I encouraged myself every day. You can do it! You are the best! ? It was very effective after a month, and now I don't think they deserve to play with me.

12. The escort went to the court to listen in today. This is my first time. I am really nervous. After I went in, everyone sat there solemnly. After the judge appeared in court, someone suddenly shouted? All rise? ! At this time, my brain was pumping, and I stood up and shouted: Hello, teacher! The audience burst into laughter. I was thrown out of court for disturbing the order. . .

13. One day, turn on the school tap. Accidentally, the water splashed on my hand, and a MM behind me took my hand and asked with concern: Did you burn your hand? ? Although it hurts, in order to show masculinity, I just gritted my teeth and said, nothing, nothing. ? Pretend nothing happened. MM suddenly turned to the people waiting in line behind him and said, Go home, the water didn't boil today! ?