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Three ways to treat disobedient children
Three measures to treat disobedient children, many families put their children first, the world of children is clear and immature, and the baby can't do anything at this time. In fact, children just want their parents to accompany them. Now share three tricks to treat disobedient children.
Three ways to treat disobedient children 1 three ways to treat unreasonable children.
Xiao Rong and Xiao Tao have grown up gradually. They are almost three years old. Their brains are getting more and more, their wings are getting harder and harder, their self-identity is getting stronger and stronger, and their ability to tip their mouths is getting stronger and stronger. There is no such thing as three strokes and two styles, and the standard hurts the brain. As a nanny, I am not included.
But I don't want to use my father's authority to restrain my children, and because I hate talking loudly, I like to let Xiao Rong and Xiao Tao study and train themselves without my constant urging and prompting. I hope they can take the initiative to do something when they grow up. In that case, I can not only relax and talk to them, but also make their self-identity develop healthily, which is also very beneficial to encourage children's consciousness and creativity.
The biggest difference between father and mother is that father is male. Many people think that the boy is coaxing the baby, and the child is worried that his father will be smarter. The objective facts are just the opposite. Many boys are generally less careful and rude than women. They can't find a way to coax the children. The end result is usually that the child is crying arrogantly and the boy stands by, helpless and anxious. If the kind mother sees it, it will hurt her brain and make her sad.
Naturally, in the process of children growing up, if the father has a correct and objective attitude, he will feel the shock that his father is different from his mother more and more. However, when children are young, how can fathers practice authority or shock to prevent their children from being arrogant in front of you?
First, learn to respect children. The whole world in children's minds is different from that of adults. If you learn to look at problems from the perspective of children, you will immediately become a person who cares about children. This is very important. Children love to play, so fathers should take more time to play with their children. Children will soon easily enter their hearts and make them think, if they don't see their father one day.
But when playing with children, you must be strict and relaxed, and you can't rely on children for everything. I think there are more Xiao Rong and Xiao Tao. Although I like playing with them, they are also boring. So, when mom comes home from work, I can let her accompany them right away. My mother is more indecisive than me. Sometimes she thinks that their rules are unprincipled, such as climbing the balcony and standing on it, but I forbid it. So I played the role of strict father, and my mother was very kind to her. There will be a period of time in the future, when they are afraid of me, they will be closer to her, but when they are really obedient, their hearts will be closer to me. Because the attention to children is limited, we can't spoil them blindly without standards, otherwise they will be spoiled. Spoiled children cannot learn to respect others. They can only see themselves.
The third is how to keep promises. Communicating with children is actually the whole process of coaxing children, but children are very attentive and will care about what adults say. Don't think that you can fool the children by saying anything casually. If this happens, after a long time, no matter how coaxed by adults, children will not listen. Now Xiao Rong and Xiao Tao will eat some snacks at night, but it is not good to eat too many snacks. They are very sweet cones, and now they are their favorite. When I like to eat in broad daylight, I also tell them that the meal at night is terrible at first, but at night, I will definitely give it to them. Even if they forget, I will take it out and say to someone, "mom says lollipops are only eaten at night." Come on, eat quickly. " The two men were very happy and said to themselves, "Eat lollipops at night, and eat lollipops at night." In this way, if you want to eat lollipops in broad daylight, you will immediately run to my eyes and wisely say, "Eat lollipops at night." I also agree with them, saying, "Yes, not in broad daylight, but after dinner at night."
Before they were young, they couldn't remember it in broad daylight. If they forget at night, they won't eat. Now you can eat lollipops every day, but eating too many sweet ones is undoubtedly bad, and it is also bad for front teeth. So, if you give him another lollipop, you will say to a person, "I'll eat tonight, but I won't eat tomorrow, okay?" If two people don't agree, then you can't eat tonight, so both are willing. When I asked for the cone again tomorrow, I was told that someone said, "I ate it yesterday, didn't I agree not to eat it tonight?" So I won't eat today. "Two people make it as soon as you listen. Then I said to someone, "but we can eat it tomorrow night." Then coax them with other snacks, and Xiao Rong and Xiao Tao will soon calm down. In solving this kind of thing, we must establish a decisive attitude and never be indecisive.
In that way, I earnestly fulfilled their regulations and guaranteed my service promise according to the regulations. After a long time, they will easily believe in themselves and coax others to do other things.
I believe that if all fathers guarantee the above three points, that is to say, a democratic, amiable, authoritative and shocking father is close, likable and heroic in the eyes of children. This brand image should naturally be carried out with the cooperation of mothers. Mother's role in this is very critical, and it is necessary to be consistent with father in public. If there is a contradiction, discuss it secretly. Otherwise, children will quarrel endlessly and their cultural and educational mentality will be inconsistent.
Three ways to treat disobedient children 2 Why should children be obedient?
Before talking about why children are disobedient, I want to talk about why parents want their children to be obedient. Obedience here is not a case of asking children to obey at will. For example, when a child is playing with a knife, parents see something wrong and want to stop him.
What we are talking about today is that parents have long asked their children to obey themselves in a strict way or out of control emotional behavior. For example, beating and cursing to make them submit.
The first reason for asking children to be obedient: parents have anxiety about being abandoned by their children. Such parents may have suffered separation trauma in childhood, and if their children don't listen at a certain moment, they will form a sense of abandonment now. I even think that disobedience at the moment is a greater degree of self-abandonment after the child is premeditated.
Sharon once met a parent. In her description, it is impossible to see that her children are happy. She felt very unhappy when she saw her child happy. So whenever a child is happy to get good grades in the exam, she will pull her face down and say what she is happy about. There are more children next door than you 1 point. This kind of parents' performance actually contains a hint: you can't be happy, and happy children will make parents with separation trauma feel abandoned. In their imagination, the ideal parent-child relationship is to endure hardships and frown together, and happiness is the power to separate the two sides.
Another example is a mother pulling her child to walk. There are two States in the road ahead, one is flat and the other is bumpy. You should be able to guess the result tactfully at this time. Basically, all children will choose that hard road. Most mothers will complain why there is a smooth road and they have to brush their shoes when they go back. This makes mother feel out of control, and we also try to look at this problem further: in fact, children are training themselves, which we call sensory integration training, which is an indispensable ability in future study and life. Aside from this layer, adventure and challenge, which human nature likes to do, are indeed the most important activities and fun for children every day, and these behaviors are prohibited by parents, obviously because they can't bring obvious benefits, but may add trouble to themselves.
The second reason for asking children to be obedient: parents' self-esteem is fragile. We often encounter this situation in our work. The self-esteem of some unit leaders is very fragile, and he wants employees to listen to him. On the contrary, leaders with less fragile self-esteem will prefer less obedient and more creative employees.
A child named Haoran came to consult last month. I learned that the father of the child is a company executive and his self-esteem is extremely fragile. Every time he goes home, he will ask his wife and children to obey his "management": from what to buy to booking seats, what to eat tonight and so on. Because my mother couldn't accept this environment, she often quarreled with her father and eventually divorced. Now she is alone, with some rebellious integrity. In the hypnosis review and conversation with his mother, I learned that many times they quarreled, and Haoran was in a state of persuading and coaxing his parents, but after a long time, he became numb.
In fact, every child is a gift and is equal to us. We should try to get along with them with respect.
The third reason for asking children to be obedient: they are just repeating the pattern of their parents. Here, we have to mention Satya's point of view. She thinks that treating a person is actually treating a family. Many of our behaviors towards children are the way parents raised themselves at that time.
There is a cruel saying in psychoanalysis: all our actions are just compulsive repetition of our actions when we are 0-6 years old. (Of course, this sentence is not entirely correct, because it can be changed and overcome after all, but obviously this type of parents are unwilling, or have not changed, at least in the way of raising, so we treat a person's psychological problems, in fact, we treat a family chain. )
In reality, many of our parents are actually doing very well, but in many stress reactions, we can still see the shadow of the family.
What will happen if the child becomes a completely obedient child?
She suppressed her individual existence, and may not live for herself all her life, but for her parents and others. I met a girl once. She hasn't left her parents subconsciously, and she is still dependent on her parents. In this way, every love will come to an end, and even they are not allowed to live a good life, because when a person has the characteristics of taking parents as the core, he will feel that he has betrayed his parents, especially emotionally.
For example, a German mother asked her child to draw a goldfish, but the child drew a blue fish. Instead of criticizing him, her mother praised him for his rich imagination. If this happens in a family in China, children may be scolded, and better parents will say that goldfish should be red. This mode of education also embodies the valuable factors in German education. They allow children to have their own imagination, which is why there are so many Nobel Prize winners in Germany.
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