Interpersonal communication questionnaire

Find the breakthrough point of successful communication

The cut-in of communication plays a vital role in the result of communication. Good cut-in, successful communication; If the cutting is not good, the expected effect will not be achieved. So, how to cut into communication accurately?

First, strive for closeness and recognition.

A person's first impression gives others the deepest feeling, and others can also roughly see a person's inner quality from it. Whether the same person can be liked depends on whether he can gain the recognition of others and how he can properly adapt to the emotional needs of others.

1. Care about the people closest to him. Anyone always cares about the people closest to him. If you find that others are also concerned about the people you care about, the metropolis will feel extremely close. Communication can take advantage of people's psychological tendency to cut in from the people who care about him the most, thus shortening the communication distance.

Ichiro Kono, once an equal with former Japanese Prime Minister Eisaku Satō, brought people's subtle psychology to the extreme. On one occasion, when Ichiro Kono was traveling in Europe and America, he met Mr. Sancang, a friend whom he had not known for many years, in new york. After their recent situation, they all left their addresses and telephone numbers in China, knowing that they were all at home. That night, the first thing Ichiro Kono did when he returned to the hotel was to make a long-distance call to Mrs Micangjin: "I'm an old friend of Micangjin's. My name is Ichiro Kono, and we met in new york. He is all right. "

Mrs. Micangjin didn't expect her husband's friends to be so considerate to her husband, so she was moved to tears. Micang later found out and made a special trip to thank him.

2. Establish the consciousness of "compatriots" in his mind. The consciousness of "compatriots" is also a sense of affection. Why are Guan Yu and Zhang Fei so loyal to Liu Bei in Romance of the Three Kingdoms? The main reason is that Guan and Zhang became sworn brothers at the beginning of their acquaintance, and the consciousness of "compatriots" was deeply rooted in Guan and Zhang's heart. If we can quickly establish the consciousness of "compatriots" at the beginning of communication, we can let the other party relax their vigilance against themselves and accept themselves as "one of their own".

Yoshiichi Tanaka is a famous politician in Japan. He is very good at using the closeness between people to create a warm communication environment and achieve the expected communication effect. Once, he went to Hokkaido for a political visit, and a well-dressed man who looked like a local celebrity came out of the welcome hall to meet him. Tanaka stepped forward quickly, held the man's hand tightly and said with great enthusiasm, "Oh, you have worked hard. How is your father? " The man was so moved that he couldn't speak for a moment. Tanaka's political trip was also a great success. Afterwards, Tanaka's entourage was puzzled by his master's intimate behavior and could not help but ask, "Who is that man?" Tanaka's answer was unexpected: "How do I know, but everyone has a father!" " "

The success of Tanaka's communication undoubtedly lies in his choice of a better communication breakthrough point, that is, to quickly establish a good impression in men's hearts, so that men feel that he is a trustworthy and amiable person, thus psychologically identifying with Tanaka.

3. Give him a hand. Enthusiastic help can win people's favor best. In daily life, those who are warm-hearted, kind, generous and helpful can always get a good reputation among neighbors and colleagues. Because people are generally willing to make friends with these warm-hearted people. For example, if you help your neighbor who is going upstairs to carry a handful of gas, you can become a frequent visitor to his house; Pack your luggage for a passenger who just got on the bus, and you will have an extra partner on your journey; Make a cup of tea for a busy colleague, and you will get a kind return.

Warm the ice in his heart with warmth. It is generally believed that a period of time after the outbreak of contradictions between the two sides is the freezing point of communication. However, if one party can take the initiative to make a goodwill move that is completely opposite to the other party's expectation, it will make the other party agree with you with surprise, exclamation, admiration and respect, thus turning an enemy into a friend. The freezing point of communication has become the breakthrough of successful communication.

When Washington, the founding president of the United States, was a colonel, he stationed troops in Alexandria. During the election for the Virginia legislature, a man named william penn opposed the candidate supported by Washington. At the same time, at some point on the election issue, Washington and Payne formed an opposition. Washington's rude remarks offended Payne; In a rage, Payne knocked Washington down with one punch. Washington's men were furious when they heard the news, and the troops immediately came to prepare to teach Payne a lesson. Washington stopped them on the spot and persuaded them to return to the camp, so a war was temporarily avoided.

Early the next morning, Washington sent someone to send Payne a note. Ask him to come to a small local hotel as soon as possible. Payne arrived as scheduled, with a feeling of running around. He guessed that Washington must fight him, but to his surprise, Washington laid out a sumptuous banquet there. Seeing Payne's arrival, Washington immediately stood up to greet him, smiled and held out his hand and said, "Mr Payne, it is human nature to make mistakes, and it is a glorious thing to correct them. I believe I was wrong yesterday, and you are satisfied to some extent. If you think it can be solved here, then hold my hand and let's make friends. " Payne was moved by the warm words in Washington. Since then, Payne has become an enthusiastic supporter of Washington.

Second, meet each other's psychological needs.

People have both obvious personality psychology and general sexual psychology in communication. If we can cut into communication activities according to people's sexual psychology, we can get satisfactory communication results. People's sexual psychology is: 1. Praise psychology; 2. Achievement psychology; 3. Self-dazzling psychology; 4. self-confidence; 5. Young psychology; 6.* * * Interesting psychology; 7. respect; 8. Competitive psychology. Wait a minute. Taking meeting each other's psychological needs as the starting point of communication is a shortcut to the success of communication activities.

1. Praise satisfies people's praise psychology. Everyone has a need to show their self-worth. Sincere praise can not only stimulate people's positive psychological emotions and get psychological satisfaction, but also make the praised person have an impulse to communicate. Xiao Wang of a factory is a calligraphy lover. He always wanted to know the retired Deputy Director Zhao and learn Chinese calligraphy from him. It's a pity that he has never had a good chance. On one occasion, the trade union held an exhibition of calligraphy and painting of veteran cadres, and Xiao Wang went to visit it. It happened that Deputy Director Zhao was also at the exhibition site. Xiao Wang walked silently beside Deputy Director Zhao, and came to the exhibition work of Deputy Director Zhao. Xiao Wang seemed to say to himself, "This work of Deputy Director Zhao is good, both in layout, word structure and brushwork, and it is vivid and tidy, leaving a blank space." "It's just that the changes in the text are stagnant and not open enough." Deputy director Zhao next to the interface said. In this way, they naturally entered the evaluation of the next work. The intersection of Xiao Wang and Deputy Director Zhao has achieved initial results.

2. Incentive method satisfies people's achievement psychology. Everyone wants to do his favorite work as well as possible and make commendable achievements. If this kind of achievement psychology can be inspired by others, it will certainly arouse his gratitude and reward psychology. What a farmer who often visited his father once said to me became one of the most unforgettable words in my memory. He said: "I have been grateful to your father from the bottom of my heart for many years and regard your father's words as my magic weapon to get rich." When I was poorest, your father patted me on the shoulder and said,' Cheer up, wretched, there will always be sunshine.' "

3. Asking for advice satisfies people's psychology of showing off wealth. People are proud of their skills. If you want to get to know these people, taking advice is the most effective way. For example, Xiao Wang, who likes calligraphy in the above example, made friends with Deputy Director Zhao in this way: Xiao Wang came to Deputy Director Zhao's house with his calligraphy practice: "Teacher Zhao, I benefited a lot from listening to your calligraphy works last time. I wrote a few exercises myself, and I want you to give me some advice. " "Oh, let me think." They started talking about calligraphy. From then on, Xiao Wang and Deputy Director Zhao forged a friendship.

4. Appreciation satisfies people's confidence. A person often believes in the object or practice he believes in, and sometimes he would rather believe the facts he has always believed in than accept the correction of others. If you can appreciate what he likes, you can get his approval. A newly married couple ordered a set of furniture. One day, when an acquaintance visited, he saw the new furniture at a glance, looked at the layout of the furniture and bedroom with appreciation, and repeatedly said that the color and style of the furniture were very harmonious with the collocation of the bedroom. The host's mood is particularly cheerful and the atmosphere of the conversation is very harmonious.

5. The method of reducing age satisfies people's young psychology. People want to be younger and more energetic in front of others. If communication starts from satisfying people's young psychology, it will soon create a warm and harmonious communication atmosphere and open a convenient door for successful communication. It is well known that Premier Zhou introduced the age of foreign guests' couples with "official age" (imitating kilograms and kilometers), which is a representative example.

6. Voting satisfies people's psychology. In life, we often hear such words: whoever can't talk to whom is the best as soon as we meet; Who hit it off with who, if only I could wear a pair of pants. If you can't go together, you don't have the same hobbies. It hit it off. People generally like to associate with people who have the same language as themselves, while people with different tastes are often less likely to succeed. Then, if you want to communicate successfully, you can start by looking for the same hobbies.

7. Greetings satisfy people's respect. In social communication, gaining respect is not only a sign of a person's reputation, but also shows that his morality, conduct, knowledge and talent have been recognized. Regardless of the old or the young, people who are superior or inferior expect others to respect themselves. Therefore, it is reasonable for people to have a good impression on people who know how to respect others. Greeting actively is the most convenient and simple communication behavior to express respect. From greetings to exchange activities, nine times out of ten there will be a satisfactory result.

8. Let footwork satisfy people's competitive psychology. Look at an example: a customer owes Dieter Wool Company $65,438+050. One day, the customer stormed into Mr. Dieter's office angrily, saying that he would not pay the money and would never buy Dieter's things again. After the man talked for nearly twenty minutes, Dieter went on to say, "I want to thank you for telling me this. You did me a favor. Since you can't buy wool from us any more, I will recommend some other wool companies to you, and we will write off your debts. "

Finally, the customer signed a bigger order than before. After his son was born, he was named Dieter and became a friend and customer of Dieter Company. Dieter's success lies in his wise concession, which satisfies the competitive psychology of the other side well.