Stay away from Xianglin’s sister-in-law’s complaints

There is a character in Lu Xun's works called Mrs. Xianglin.

Mrs. Xianglin is a miserable person. She was widowed at a young age and was sold to the mountains by her husband's family. She married a second husband and gave birth to her son Amao. Life finally got better, but her husband died of illness. Then misfortunes never come singly, and Amao was carried away by a wolf again.

What impressed me deeply, besides her tragic life experience, was a description in the article:

This description is very interesting and very interesting. Lamenting the change in people's attitudes, from concern and sympathy at the beginning to indifference later, maybe with a little ridicule.

As mentioned in the article, people's sympathy in those old times was limited. Is it different now?

In the Internet age, information spreads extremely quickly, and it seems that every day is filled with tragic stories. Sympathies come and go faster. Stories that today are hateful, outrageous, heartbreaking, and compassionate are no longer mentioned a week later.

Times are changing, but human nature has not changed much. No one likes to be left behind. You want to gain attention, sympathy and comfort by complaining, but they come to see the fun and novelty, and shed a few words and tears by the way.

I just want to say a few words about my impressions and express my inner feelings. Don't overthink it, and don't take it too seriously.

Sister-in-law Xianglin took it seriously. After she complained for the first time and achieved "not as good a social effect as expected", her hurt heart seemed to feel a little relieved, so she repeated it again and again. , hoping to get greater sympathy and compassion, but in the end "even the most compassionate old ladies who chanted Buddha's name no longer had any trace of tears in their eyes."

What a pitiful person, there must be something hateful about him. Think about it, there are more or less people like Mrs. Xianglin around us.

After they encounter setbacks and sufferings, they have a special desire to talk to everyone. They wish that people would know their suffering, hope that people would understand and sympathize with them.

But then, will the suffering disappear and life get better?

After a brief moment of relief, I still have to return to reality. So some people begin to relieve their inner pain by complaining again and again. It's like taking a drug, which gives you a brief moment of pleasure, but leaves you with a greater emptiness after the pleasure wears off. Then I became addicted and couldn't stop.

The biggest disadvantage of complaining like Mrs. Xianglin is that it cannot solve the problem at all. It won’t make your suffering go away, and it won’t make your life better.

It will only let people see your incompetence and helplessness. Even if you gain sympathy from people at first, over time it will bore others.

If you are a relative, they may be very patient with you out of love. But it's hard to talk about other people. They have their own things and their own lives, so they don't have so much free time to worry about you.

There is a saying that "Don't publicize family scandals", and there is a similar truth behind it. What's the use of telling others about family scandals? The most others can do is sympathize with you and say a few so-called fair words, but it won't solve the fundamental problem. Do you want others to live with you? After saying that, you leave. You have to live with your own family.

Another disadvantage of complaining like Mrs. Xianglin is that it is contagious. This is negative emotion, this is negative energy. The person complaining is in pain because every time he complains, he is constantly strengthening and hinting to himself that he is in pain; the person listening will also be in pain. Who wants to be surrounded by negative emotions all the time?

If you are in this state, then your thoughts are all on your pain and how to complain to others. In addition to making yourself more painful, you have no thought or energy at all. to improve your current situation.

If the people around you are in this state, it will inevitably affect you, infect you with this negative emotion, make your mood worse, make you feel depressed, and even It will lead to negative behavior in you.

So keep yourself away from Mrs. Xianglin’s complaints. Instead of focusing on the pain, focus it on solving the problem and improving the situation.

Once the problem is solved, the current situation is improved, your mood will naturally get better, and the pain will naturally disappear, then is there still a need to talk everywhere?