Interview with Wu Ruoquan —— Practice the meaning of peace from daily life and make the best arrangement for life.

Even though I have known about hospice care for many years, I still agree with its concept. In the face of the death of a loved one, accompanied by the journey of anti-cancer, Wu Ruoquan still has to keep studying and doing his homework, trying to reconcile with the obstacles in his heart.

As early as 20 years ago, Wu Ruoquan, a well-known writer in Taiwan Province Province, received a series of hospice care training because of her endorsement. Along the way, he almost walked side by side with the context of hospice care in Taiwan Province Province. When talking about the acceptance of hospice care in Taiwan Province Province in the early years, he said frankly that it was not high. "When people hear about hospice care in society, they generally think it is an idea of giving up treatment. At that time, the education of medical students also focused on saving lives, hoping to win more survival time for patients. 」

Impermanence is everyday? Make a choice as soon as possible. In the fifth year of Wu Ruoquan's contact with peace, his father, who had been in good health and rarely went in and out of the hospital, suddenly collapsed. "His course of disease is progressing rapidly. One day, he suddenly told me that he was uncomfortable and had difficulty breathing. I was unable to swallow on the second day after admission, and my heart failed on the third day. Later, he caused edema, lung failure, renal failure and liver failure. He went into a coma within a few weeks and died four months later. 」

Wu Ruoquan will always remember that one month before his father left, he signed a decision not to give his father first aid and intubation with complete hospice care concept and training. But after he expressed this idea orally, every doctor and nurse would confirm to him again whenever they saw him: "Do you really want to give up?" 」

Wu Ruoquan, who thinks that he never cares about outsiders' eyes when making decisions in the workplace or at home, starts to waver every time he asks. He knew in his heart that he was doing the right thing, reducing some unnecessary physical torture for his father's dying soul, but he also began to ask himself, "Is this decision of mine cruel to others?" Am I really unfilial? 」

Image source: Taiwan Province Anning Care Foundation's reluctance and struggle in making decisions for his father. Now that I think about it, Wu Ruoquan still feels sad. He often shares with friends around him: "When we are still healthy and awake, make a good choice for ourselves!" Don't leave such a difficult question to your family. 」

In 20 17, Wu ruoquan's mother was diagnosed with cancer. At the time of diagnosis, the oral head and neck cancer had metastasized to the lungs, and the doctor thought it had reached the advanced stage. They chose immunotherapy when the operation was not suitable. Fortunately, their condition was well controlled. However, Wu Ruoquan still spends four and a half days a week with his mother for medical treatment and return visits.

"Although the control is good now, even the tumor has disappeared, I am still slowly making some arrangements and preparations. He began to think about the layout of home security and asked whether the nearby medical institutions could support home security. Many friends laughed at his nervousness and began to prepare too early, but he thought that hospice care began at the end of his life. " Life is like taking a train from Taipei to Kaohsiung. You don't have to make preparations before you arrive in Tainan, but you should start making comprehensive plans when you leave, physically and mentally. 」

Both body and mind are body-oriented hospice care, and he upholds the thinking of hospice care to minimize the pain of his mother's body. "For example, the last positron emission tomography examination found a tumor of about 1cm, which may require biopsy or puncture to further determine whether it is benign or malignant, but I decided to return to the road of hospice care. I think we can wait until the next positron emission tomography scan to observe the changes of the tumor, and then we don't need to do biopsy. 」

Wu Ruoquan is also very grateful to say that fortunately, his mother's attending physician supported his decision and made his mother suffer less.

Mentally, he encouraged his mother to embrace religion. "Now she recites the Heart Sutra every morning until she recites it. This is a spiritual promotion, which means that she is willing to improve herself. 」

In psychological preparation, Wu Ruoquan also gets along with life, intentionally or unintentionally looking for a suitable opportunity to discuss the afterlife with his mother. He believes that these life events are by no means a meeting, and everyone can sit down and make a decision. "These decisions actually come from daily life. For example, when you walk through Quan Min East Road and see many etiquette companies, you can talk about them, and when you receive the obituaries from relatives and friends, you can also talk about them. Even the chance to see the news of celebrity death. I can talk a little every time, and I can understand my mother's thoughts better. 」

Once he received an obituary from his relatives and friends. After seeing the date of death and the date of funeral, his mother bluntly said that the descendants of the other party were really unfilial and even cremated the body in two weeks. Wu Ruoquan smiled and said to his mother, "I heard that it burned in two days in Shanghai. Two weeks is a long time. The freezer in the funeral parlour counts money day by day." He casually asked, "How long do you want to freeze?" Just like the ancient saying "July 49"? 」

Mother didn't respond specifically, but this conversation reassured him. "This let me know that my mother thought two weeks was too short, but she didn't insist on 49 days. 」

Wu Ruoquan often jokingly said to his mother, "Say something quickly, or you won't be allowed to break the cup in the future!" " ! In order to alleviate the taboo and fear of death of elders.

Caregivers also need hospice care in the face of their father's sudden death and their mother's long anti-cancer journey. Along the way, Wu Ruoquan always took hospice care to heart, until some time ago, he found himself suddenly enlightened from 1 a strange man who took the MRT with him.

"Middle-aged man received a phone call. I don't know what the other party is saying. I only heard him clearly say that there was no need for first aid and no need for measures. The patient has made such a decision, and it is also indicated on the health insurance card. After hanging up the phone, the man began to watch the news on his mobile phone. Wu Ruoquan said with a smile, maybe people who don't understand will think that this gentleman is heartless, but he sees a kind of gentle compassion in each other. "Maybe he is rushing to the hospital to deal with the most tense moment in his life, whether he is suppressing his sadness or not, but his performance is telling one thing-their home is ready and he is ready. 」

Along the way, he gradually learned and grew up in the process of accompanying his relatives. He also thinks that he still has a lot to learn, especially self-peace after peace.

"I am taking care of my mother 70% of the time now, but I also know that when it is all over, my sense of loss will be great. Wu Ruoquan believes that it is another kind of learning for caregivers to make themselves peaceful. " How to settle down as a nurse for a long time is another chapter in the continuation of hospice care, and it is also my homework for future study and investment. 」

This article is authorized by Taiwan Province Anning Care Foundation. See here for the original text. ※.