In my dream, I went to the toilet without paper. What I want is this free and easy-a classic sentence of personality.

The best way to realize your dream is to wake up.

There is always a gap between ideal and reality, otherwise who needs ideal?

People need to work to make money and work to kill time.

I think I haven't eaten chicken for a long time. Why else would I be a little excited to see a feather duster?

I'm not RMB, why does everyone like me?

People often can't see their closest things, such as eyelashes.

Time is still there, but we are flying.

I have a crystal heart, but others think it is glass.

I just want to have a tree, not a forest, because I'm afraid I have no time to water it.

Iron bars can be ground into needles, and wooden bars can only be ground into toothpicks.

To be a good person depends on a kind heart; Being a good person depends on a fickle face.

The sign of an immature man is that he can die heroically for his ideal; The sign of a mature man is that he can live humbly for his ideal.

What is expensive? Just don't put wealth in your eyes; What is happiness? I just don't care about wealth.

Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

Life is not Lin Daiyu, and there will be no various customs because of sadness!

The cruelest reality is that the girl you like belongs to others, and the girl you don't like belongs to others.

Earning money to sell cabbage, with the heart of selling white powder.

Money is a thing apart-yes, other people's money is a thing apart.

There are always a few mistakes in the long road of life.

Smoking is an art of life; Looking for a cigarette is an attitude towards life.

Life is about being born and living.

The saddest love ending: walking the same street and returning to two worlds.

I said I only had eyes for you, and others said I was arrogant.

You only see my lies on the internet, but you can't see my tears on the keyboard.

Some people have stable careers, while others have stable families. What about me? My vital signs are stable.

Youth is running wildly, and then it is falling luxuriantly.

Life is like a dream, I always have insomnia; Life is like a play, I always laugh; Life is like a song, I'm always out of tune.

If you behave well, I will treat you as a Tang priest. If you don't behave well, I'll treat you like a Tang priest.

Sleep is for practical work, and work is for practical sleep.

When others watch us go shopping, they will always be happy to hold hands. In fact, the truth is that once I let go, she will go shopping.

Life is like singing, sometimes unreliable, sometimes out of tune.

I hid in the corner and watched you pass by, then pretended that you missed me.

When I was a child, I celebrated the Mid-Autumn Festival, but I didn't hear the story of Chang 'e. I've been thinking about moon cakes. Now that I am old, I can't eat moon cakes after the Mid-Autumn Festival, and I have been thinking about Chang 'e.

Think about the salary, forget it, don't want to live.

For a father, the most important way to express love like a child is to love his mother.

Your face vaguely fell into the dream, so I woke up screaming.

You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly, but when I finally found you, I found out. Our wings are like smooth edges.

A man keeps his word-if I say no, I won't return it.

I swear I will never swear again.

Why is the road to success always under construction?

You once told me that you would love me forever. I understand love, but what is it forever?

In my dream, I went to the toilet without paper. That's what I want.

I've been under a lot of pressure recently, just like a pregnant elephant wearing 10 cm stilettos and stepping on me with one foot.

The long road of life will always get lost.

Familiar places have no scenery, and strange places have traps.

A person's sky is blue, blue is a bit melancholy; A person's life is very free, and freedom is somewhat lonely; A person's life is easy and a little boring.

I told you to go away. Why don't you go away? I'm warning you for the last time. If you don't go out, I will.

Love is beyond my level.

I want to learn from the phoenix nirvana and be reborn from the fire. Who knows that I cooked it accidentally!

Please don't disturb during working hours, and please disturb after work hours.

I spent my whole life looking back on my youth and doubting my life.

There are many women who don't eat, but none who are not jealous.

You shine when I love you, and you are nothing when I don't love you.

If you go first, don't blame me for betraying you.

I shine as a god at this beautiful moment, so don't be disturbed by mortals.

I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I spend the rest of my life with you?

I often tell myself not to hang myself in a tree, and I get lost in the Woods. God gave us youth and acne.

If there is a sincere love in front of me, I will cherish it! But where is she?

I think you scold me because you don't know me. When you know me, you must want to hit me.

If you want to go to the bathroom, just say so.

If you want to go to the bathroom, just say so.

First, when recording the video today, only four people made mistakes in the whole paragraph. Then comfort yourself that it will be stuck anyway, and record it again. As a result, I never expected to write too much and felt that I might lose my adult! I ate a whole plate of Flammulina velutipes tonight and don't want to go to the toilet tomorrow.

Secondly, I finally know why the doctor asked me if my stool was good. It turns out that the medicine he prescribed for me will make me want to go to the bathroom.

A man was drunk and suddenly wanted to go to the toilet on his way home. After finding the public toilet, he went into the ladies' room by mistake. There happened to be a woman urinating in the ladies' room. The drunk heard the urine and shouted, don't fall down, I'm drunk. When the woman heard the man's voice, she was so scared that she immediately held her urine. After a while, the woman really couldn't hold back, let off a fart, and only heard the drunk swear: I said I wouldn't drink, so why open another bottle!

Fourth, I stayed up all night after eating this. I want to go to the toilet in bed, but I didn't feel it immediately when I went to the toilet. Then I repeat, don't mess with me in the future, or I will let you eat this to get back at you and let you experience the heartache of using up a roll of toilet paper without wiping anything.

5. Menstrual stomach hurts so much that I want to go to the toilet, but I can't get on.

Where is this bus? It has stopped for twenty minutes. I want to go to the toilet. I am very angry.

I sat for 7 hours without much movement and didn't want to go to the toilet. I feel that I was either a tortoise or a tortoise in my last life.

Eight, obsessive-compulsive disorder to go to the toilet, just finished going to the toilet, playing with my mobile phone for a while, still want to go to the toilet, forget it, I went to the toilet.

Good night I hope I can desperately want to go to the bathroom without turning on the air conditioner in the future. Good night, good night.

Ten, sleep on your stomach! I can't even move if I want to go to the bathroom.

1 1. I want to go to the toilet, but my master sleeps soundly. What should I do? Wait online!

Girlfriend: I want to go to the bathroom Man: Not here. Shall I find you a black plastic bag? W: The plastic bag is too small to use. Man: Who told you to use it like this? You won't put it on your head.

I'm so sleepy now, because I have to wait for the doctor to change the needle. I can't sleep. I want to go to the toilet, but I can't, because it will be cold and frozen if I leave the quilt.

Fourteen, nervous, want to go to the toilet, grandparents please please, bless me!

I was unexpectedly idle this morning, so I sat and wanted to go to the bathroom, and I was the only one in the shop. Let's take it.

Sixteen, every time I want to go to the toilet, I complain that people are taking a bath, but she washes it every day for a long time and still watches TV dramas in it.

17. I was woken up early in the morning, but someone wanted to go to the toilet and couldn't take it away. I was so angry that I kept burping.

18. Pretend to exercise when you go out. And I wanted to go to the bathroom halfway. I'm drunk. God doesn't want me to move.

In response to everyone's reaction to the water shortage in Shijiazhuang for several days in a row, A said: Ma Dan, now I dare not take two shits a day! B said: lying in the trough, what a luxury! I dare not shit for three days! C said: Shit, I just wanted to go to the toilet, so I went in and took a look, and I went back.

Twenty. I finished chasing psychological crimes today. Seeing the barrage above, I said that this version was edited, and I guessed that the final boss was the barrage of Professor Joe, but the ending became the last one that was not mentioned at the beginning. Sun Pu committed suicide, too. Any)

Twenty-eight, compared with when I was a child, I want to go to the toilet and sleep. When I grow up, this skill has also been upgraded to a new attribute that can change with the seasons: reading in summer is hot and reading in winter is cold. Spring and autumn? I feel sleepy.

Twenty-nine, I just called Brother Lei outside. I could have talked more, but today I ate too much and wanted to go to the bathroom, but I didn't bring any paper, so I had to rush home at a speed of 100 meters. I never realized that I could run so fast.

Thirty, these two months in the operating room, studying medicine feels really tired. It is common that I can't get off work on time in advance. The doctor has to stand as long as he has an operation, so I can't eat and sleep on time. You have to hold back if you want to go to the bathroom and drink water. Everything is patient-oriented, and it is really not easy for medical staff. Maybe you are dreaming at this time, and you have to get to your post without stopping.

Thirty-one, my grandfather's cerebral infarction a while ago is much better now, but he is still recovering in the hospital. Today, I come to accompany my grandfather. He got up to go to the toilet, but when he arrived, he found himself peeing his pants. Grandpa said he was old and useless, and I also advised him that you were over ninety and in good health. My heart is suddenly sour. I still sincerely hope that grandpa will be healthy and live a long life.

Thirty-two, a man, drunk, came to the street and suddenly wanted to go to the toilet. He came to the traffic police and said, police, where is the toilet?

Why do I want to go to the toilet as soon as I get to driving school? Is it because I'm too nervous?

Stay in a hotel, don't want to go to the toilet, and can't afford water. When I get home, the more water, the more I love it. That's enough.

Thirty-five, An Erpang who suddenly wants to go to the toilet in the middle of the night, but is scared by all kinds of ghost stories and abnormal murders, oh! What should I do?

Thirty-six, ho ho ~ A cup of milk tea has made me so sober. Good belly, hungry oh! I really want to go to the toilet, but I'm too scared to move!

Are you still worried about traffic jams? Have you ever been trapped on a bridge and tried to go to the bathroom and held your breath for hours? ! Come on! Brothers! Go with your uncle Hui! Follow Uncle Hui! Low carbon, low carbon and low carbon!

Every time I take the train, nothing good happens to me. At first, I always wanted to go to the bathroom. I finally fell asleep. I woke up and wandered around to get ready for bed. Now my stomach hurts like hell. Really, I won't take the train in the future, okay?

Mom, I just want to go to the bathroom. Why did you leave me?

A brother went to the bathroom and went to the ladies' room by mistake.

A brother went to the toilet and went into the ladies' room by mistake. When I went in, I found that there was no urinal, and it felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one in the ladies' room, so he just walked out. Just as I was going out, an elder sister came in. When she saw him, she was shocked, turned around and got into the men's room as fast as she could.

When I was a child, I couldn't speak Mandarin well. Once I took a dictation in Putonghua, I sat in the first row and listened attentively to the teacher's pronunciation. The teacher read: "Doubt." I immediately wrote "salty rice" in my notebook. The teacher accidentally glanced at my paper, but couldn't bear to embarrass me, so he raised his voice: "Doubt!" "I hesitated for a second and seemed to realize something. I began to turn "salted rice" into "salted fish rice". The teacher was a little dizzy after refocusing. Deliberately raise the volume and say, "it's a criminal suspect." "I think it makes sense, so I added three words' salted fish rice'. The teacher couldn't help it any longer and looked at me with black eyes: "I said' suspected'. "I was a little nervous at the time, and I slowly wrote" Fish-flavored Salted Fish Rice "with trembling handwriting. The teacher had to come up to me, press my shoulder and say, "It's the kind of criminal suspect who is guilty of the most heinous crimes.". "My mind is full of paste. I timidly erased what I had written before, and then changed it to" Salted Fish Rice with Hungry Mouth ". "The teacher fainted directly.

Let me tell you something. Do not hit me! ! ! Yao Ming rejects public service advertisement of shark fin. Everyone said, "won't you order the waiter to come up?" That's actually in some "very special places"! Shark's fin, as an appetizer soup before meals, is given to guests for free! Just like a restaurant offering free tea!

On the first day of the New Year, the wife suggested to her husband, "Starting today, the New Year must have a new atmosphere and respect each other. I will get rid of the bad habit of swearing, and you will get rid of the habit of hitting people easily, okay? "

Me: "My sister-in-law is so beautiful, how did you catch up with her?" "The first time I saw your sister-in-law, I couldn't extricate myself. At that time, I tactfully took out 100 and asked her if she had dropped it. She said no, and I said I couldn't find the owner anyway. It's better to spend it on movies, and then we will be together. " I thought the original date could be like this. On this day, I saw a beautiful woman, so I got up the courage to take out 100 yuan and asked, "Beauty, did you drop this money?" Beauty: "OK, thank you!" " "Then he took the money ... and left. . .

My daughter-in-law is a foodie, and none of you can compare with her. One day, she took a nap and slept soundly. There is half a watermelon on the table next to her. I once ate it with a spoon. The spoon rustled when digging. I turned to look at her. Her mouth was open ~ ah ~ ah, the problem is that she didn't wake up with her eyes closed! So I fed her a few mouthfuls and ate them all when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I asked her, she knew nothing!

I remember one day in the company, the cup on my desk fell off, and the new female colleague next to me immediately stood up and came over with a tissue and said, lead me to wipe it for you. It will be soon ~ ~ everyone in the office is laughing crazy.

Today, I took a bus with my girlfriend. Because there is no seat, all the people sitting next to me are old people, and their girlfriends are carsick and lying in my arms. I saw an old man who was not very old next to me, so I got up the courage and said, "Uncle, my wife is pregnant. Can you stand for a while? " We will get off soon. "Uncle readily agreed, and his girlfriend suddenly shouted," Dad! ..... "Uncle is blue in the face! Look at me again, I'm scared to pee my pants. ...

She was lying on the table and jokingly asked her deskmate, "Hey, do you have someone you like?" He glanced at her and said faintly, "Yes." She was very upset, but she pretended to be indifferent and asked, "Who is it?" "In our class, guess." She read out the names of all the girls in the class, but he shook his head. She asked, "Why did you shake your head when you finished reading?" He chuckled. "Fool, are you sure you've finished reading it all?" Hearing this, the girl froze for a while, turned her head shyly and didn't speak again. Then he fell in her ear and whispered, "Actually, I like … the head teacher."

My husband and I broke up about moving. I said hire a moving company. He thinks it's too expensive, so he might as well move slowly, and his new home is not far away! I was angry and had a big fight with him. I didn't expect him to yell at me: take your things and go! I was angry, too. I grabbed my clothes and bag and ran out of the door. Walking in the street, I felt ashamed to go back to my parents' house, so I went straight to my new home and separated from him! After I arrived, I washed my shoes and didn't take anything. I went home and took it several times. Now walking down the street with a bedside table, I suddenly feel something is wrong. ...

When I was in high school, my classmates had the habit of bringing eggs. Every time I eat them in class, finally one day I can't help it anymore. When he peeled the eggshell in half, I patted him hard and told him in an eager voice that the teacher was watching you. He looked up at once, and I bowed my head and bit his egg in half, and then he had to give it to me. . . From then on, he never eats eggs in class again. .

The night before yesterday, my husband changed his clothes and saw bite marks on his back. What am I talking about? He said he was bitten by his friend's dog. I'll go ~ what kind of dog can bite such a round trace through clothes ~ home and everything, no evidence can not make trouble. Yesterday, my best friend bit me on the back and went home to change clothes in front of him at night ... As a result, he smoked all night without asking me!

Would you love me if I invited you to the toilet? -Classic funny mood phrases

Every time I weigh myself, I feel unhappy. When I am unhappy, I want to eat.

Confucius, Laozi and Mencius stayed in your pigsty for one night and found that the sow was pregnant the next day. After identification, it is neither Confucius nor Mencius. Who do you think did it?

Whenever you see Lao Yang with a long face in class, do you have any complaints about our class?

This damn school is not money, it is youth!

Now I find that the school is also a master of camouflage. You might as well try to look into the distance at night. Do you see your future?

The so-called school: it has blue sky-like buildings, but it can't find the purity of the blue sky at all!

Your sister! If the house is built like a toilet, don't blame others for using it as a toilet.

Teacher, you are just our hypnotic tool. What are you proud of?

In this painful summer, it takes courage to go out.

Every time I eat after school, I can always see many shadows of Liu Xiang.

I don't like black and white colors. Why do you want me to stare at the blackboard?

I'm curious, what if mosquitoes learn to smoke one day?

Nima, the counterfeiting technology is too high now. You say you are a pig, except for being a little fatter, which is too human!

Oh, my God! Your kitchen is really beautiful! . . . This is the toilet ...

I guess your father and your mother are long-lost brothers and sisters. Otherwise, how can you be an idiot?

If you look like underwear, don't blame others for pretending to be B.

Dude, are you dressed in such fancy clothes to attract bees?

Look at what you're wearing: shoes from the 1990s, pants from the 1980s, and a face from the 1970s on your shirt.

Zhou Enlai once said, "Learn for the rise of China". Look at your hair. You study for the rise of China!

Bajie, don't think you are a night pig standing under a street lamp.

Would you love me if I invited you to the toilet?

"Girls Chased Together in Those Years" has been made into a movie, so "Little Girls bullied together in those years" can't be made into a TV series?

Did mosquitoes think I was too thin, so they bit me a few big bags?

We will never meet again, and I will never be a bitch again.

One day, a classmate couldn't find his pen. The teacher said: the pen is your weapon. How many times have you wanted to die on the battlefield without weapons? That classmate said, I have forgotten how many times I have died.

A prisoner who is about to be released from prison after serving his sentence has expressed his feelings about life: after staying here for so many years, he is a little reluctant to leave his "alma mater". If there is an opportunity, I will come back again ~ ~ ~ The prison guard is in a hurry.

Woman: I'm your what? You are my Coca-Cola. W: Why? Man: In this way, there is another bottle.

I really want to go back to ancient times and see what your family evolved from.

In the era of soaring material, only wages should be constantly changing.

After all, there is only one pair of love triangle, and I know nothing but words.