Looking at people in the cup, the world is sinking.

What I said at the beginning, referred to as the preface:

Life is originally pure and flawless

But once you invest in society

Being contaminated and eroded by the "dirty water" of society

Gradually losing its true nature

Until it is completely trapped in this society and unable to extricate itself

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Text | Fat Mom

-01-

Autumn in a small town It's really unbearably cold. The cold dew has just passed less than a week ago, and looking at the weather, I thought it was going to be the beginning of winter. The walls of the buildings in the north are much thicker than those in the south, so even though there is a cold wind outside, it is still warm and pleasant inside. This season is the perfect time to stay at home and eat hot pot. When you are sweating profusely and your blood is boiling, throw away the big coat covering your body, as if the refreshing summer is back.

After eating and drinking, you lay down on the soft big bed, closed your eyes and let everything go. Life is just like this. It's like I've entered a state of forgetfulness. No matter who calls me, my practice will not be interrupted. Not to mention going for a walk, I would rather hold it in even if someone calls me to get up and go to the toilet.

The whole world was sliding to one side in an orderly manner at a constant speed, followed by a rapid falling feeling. The moment I fell, I woke up. There was no big warm house in front of me, nor was there a hearty hot pot. , there was no big soft bed that was extremely comfortable, there was only a long bar table, and I almost slipped from the table to the ground.

I am a fat mother, and I opened a small cafe called Occasionally Coffee on the fifth floor of the school backend. Such a small and artistic place. But I only care about literature and art, and my practical ability must be attributed to Miao Ting. Who is Miao Ting? She is my girlfriend, a gentle and virtuous girl.

At this time, footsteps going up the stairs sounded behind me, from far to near, from blur to clear. I knew that a guest was coming.

"Girl, what would you like to have?" I said while clearing the bar.

"Huh? You didn't even look up at me, how do you know I'm a girl?" the girl asked doubtfully.

The girl’s voice is very sweet, delicate and not artificial.

"Your shoes betray you. The sound of footsteps is crisp and loud. It must be the sound made by high heels. The pace is light and cheerful. It doesn't look like an older teacher with a stable personality. There are not many boys in the school. There are very few people who are bent, so I guess it is a girl. I just heard your voice again, and I am more sure that it is a beautiful girl." After finishing speaking, I looked up confidently to check the results of my reasoning. The "beautiful" mentioned in the reasoning just now was secretly replaced by "beautiful".

The girl in front of me is so incredibly beautiful.

-02-

No one is more noble than anyone else, but I am good at acting.

I was indeed frightened by this sentence. It had no beginning, no end, no context, just a solitary sentence and the beautiful girl who made it in front of me.

"You must be the fat mother. You can guess even me."

"How do you say it?"

"A little artistic curly hair, There is also a messy mustache, it’s you, I guess there must be too many people’s secrets hidden in your mustache, so it’s flying around.”

“That’s a good guess, but I’m a girl. It’s not a good thing for a child to be too smart~”

“These are all lies from you men. You say you don’t want girls to be too smart, but what man doesn’t want to find a reasonable person in his heart, so do you. Don’t run away, otherwise you can find Miao Ting?”

The girl said as she picked up the photo on the table, which was a photo of me and Miao Ting.

"Well, she's a pretty good girl.

”

I looked at the smart girl in front of me again. She was wearing a long khaki windbreaker, a white shirt and black trousers, and a pair of red-soled black high-heeled shoes. The collar of her shirt was open, revealing A necklace with a very thin chain and a very special pendant. It is a ring. The ring and chain do not match well. It can be seen that the girl added it herself. The exquisite makeup makes the already good-looking facial features more charming and white. Her skin and bright red lips formed a sharp contrast, and her nails were also bright red.

There was also a faint fragrance...

"It's okay here. Sing? "The girl asked me.

"Only a stereo but no microphone..."

"It doesn't matter, I can just find a song and sing casually. ”

The breakup was very cold from your mouth/sadness boiled the fire in my heart and then extinguished/I thought there was nothing wrong in staying/I thought you would understand if you worked hard/why even the fallen leaves were laughing at me/I had to pretend Walk strong/Walking in the cold wind of winter night/The scattered and crushed dreams are all/How can I be sure that you have loved me at this moment when I am alone...

It is "Walking in the Cold Wind" by Liu Sihan ”, the song ended with a lingering sound. I was impressed by the girl’s singing skills. It was as beautiful as the original song, but it felt a little more confused, lost, and had an unknown story.

The girl’s name. It's called Xiao Xiao. She specifically emphasized that the first Xiao doesn't have three points of water, but the second one does. She said that the name is a person's code name. If you call it wrong or write it wrong, it won't be Xiao.

Every day of Xiao's life is divided into four parts, and he plays different roles in different parts. From 8 am to 8 pm, he plays the role of a college student, from 8 pm to 3 am, he plays the role of a bar singer, and from 3 am to 3 am, he plays the role of a bar singer. She plays the role of a coquettish lady on stage at six o'clock. She only plays herself from seven to eight o'clock in the morning.

"Do you think I don't look like that kind of girl?" How could a girl with such good temperament become a young lady? To be honest, no one is more noble than anyone else, but I am very good at acting. ”

-03-

No one has ever shouted the name Xinxi Street. Outsiders call it Bar Street, with seven bars crowded on the street a few hundred meters; locals call it This is a ghost street, no one is seen during the day, and there is a lot of traffic late at night.

At 8:15 in the evening, Xiao Xiao appeared at the bar street on time, opened the glass door of the bar, and walked in with a familiar look. She took off the coat that was wrapped around her body, and the black suspender dress became even more sexy and charming under the colorful lights. She took out the powder box from her bag, briefly touched up her makeup in the mirror, and looked at her charming self in the mirror. Smiling slightly, he turned around and stepped onto the singing stage.

Whether it was jazz or rock, old songs or new songs, Xiao Xiao sang them all vividly. The atmosphere in the bar gradually heated up with the charming singing, and then slowly. Boiling.

"Xiao, Boss Liu came here today and said he wanted to see you. "The bartender handed over a glass of Lady in Pink as usual.

"Is Boss Liu here? Where is it? "

"The booth over there. "The bartender pointed to the booth in the west corner of the bar.

Boss Liu is no stranger to Xiao Xiao. She remembers that when she came to this bar as a resident singer on her first day, she sat in the seat directly opposite the singing stage. Sitting there was Boss Liu. He arranged for Xiao Xiao to sing all night long and paid him three hundred yuan for each song. There was no requirement to sing any song, as long as Xiao Xiao liked it.

Boss Liu, who is in his thirties, comes to the bar twice a week, but the day he comes is not fixed. As long as he comes, he will sit in the seat directly opposite the singing stage, and then ask Xiao Xiao to sing on stage. As usual, he booked Xiao Xiao's singing for the whole night, which made the bartender and other resident singers in the bar envious.

But this time it was special. He didn't sit in the "exclusive" seat. Instead, she sat in a booth in the corner. Xiao Xiao walked over with a smile on her face.

"Brother Liu, you are here. "

"Xiao, sit here. "Boss Liu patted the seat next to him.

Xiao Xiao slid sideways from the table and sat next to Boss Liu. He took the wine from Boss Liu and drank it in one gulp. Then he gently put down the goblet and looked at it with a smile. Boss Liu next to him seemed as if nothing had happened. Men are most fascinated by straightforward women in the wine shop.

"Don't you want to listen to me singing today?"

"I heard you sing so many of your favorite songs, but they are all about loss and sadness. I feel like you have many stories. , I want to hear your story today.”

“Well, that’s fine, let’s move to another place, it’s too noisy here.”

-04 -

Why are the sheets red, why are the walls orange, why are the lights yellow, and why are the curtains brown.

The TV is minding its own business, showing boring programs, the air conditioner is minding its own business, blowing boring warm air, the bathtub is minding its own business, flowing boring hot water, and the fan is minding its own business. Breathing in the boring water vapor.

Sex is the simplest and most direct way to communicate between two people's souls. In the deep moment, the sense of fullness and envelopment are intertwined, and the soul and body are infinitely overlapped in every separation and advancement. In the bursts of numbing pleasure, the long-suppressed humanity is released to the fullest.

Xiao Xiao closed her eyes and slowly enjoyed a man's "care" for her. She liked this feeling of not having to think about anything. She only needed to know that tonight she belonged to the surname in front of her. Liu's man.

The alarm clock on Xiao Xiao's mobile phone rang at six o'clock in the morning. She removed the arm around her waist, picked up the scattered clothes from the ground, put them on, and looked in the mirror skillfully. She put on exquisite makeup, gave herself a smile, and pushed out the door.

At seven o'clock in the morning, there were people on the street preparing to go home after their morning exercises. Xiao Xiao tiredly stopped a taxi, leaned over and got in, and said to the driver: "Wandering around in the city. Let’s go shopping, don’t park the car, and then drop me off at the school gate at eight o’clock.”

As the car wandered aimlessly through the streets of the small town, Xiao Xiao stared out the window blankly, feeling like he was alone. Like a passer-by, the whole world has only one connection with me.

In this hour, she finally didn't have to play any role, took off all disguises, hid in the small taxi, and just was herself.

Ding dong, Xiao Xiao received a text message on her mobile phone about changes in the amount of her bank account. It said: Bank income is 3,000 yuan, and the balance is 235,400 yuan.

She thought of a boy lying on a hospital bed in another city. Beside the boy's hospital bed were his parents who were crying all day long. She knew that the money in her hands was not enough.

The bed sheets in the hospital should be white, the walls should be white, the lights should be white, and the curtains should be white.

And life should not be white.

-05-

This big world is like a small cup, and we are the paper ball in the cup, stretching and eroding in the colorless and transparent liquid , and then slowly sink to the bottom of the cup, decomposing and dying over time.

She didn’t know how long she would have to go on the road to treat him. She became more and more afraid. She knew that her heart was still holding on, but her body had strayed far away.

In the past, she could only clumsily play one role, being his girlfriend; now, she has to switch back and forth between four different roles in order to be able to play her role again one day in the future. His girlfriend.

"Girl, the school gate is here."

Xiao Xiao adjusted her clothes, opened the car door with a smile, and sealed her fragile self again.

Now, her role is that of a straight-A student in the eyes of her teachers and classmates.

-End-