It is very important to find someone who knows both the cold and the hot.

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Hua Xuan Shui Jing

"It is easy for him to love you, he will come and move you. And for each of us ordinary people, the most Fortunately, there is someone who loves your dreams and everything about you from beginning to end, protecting you from wind and rain, and is willing to travel around the world for you. And from now on, we will be there every day when we know what is going on. It’s enough to be able to look forward to each other with a warm smile and never leave each other.”

01

When we reach the so-called age suitable for marriage, the topics of conversation are always unavoidable. emotion. A while ago, I was chatting with my best friend in the United States. After much chatting, I came back to this theme.

"How long do you plan to eat dog food?" my best friend said helplessly.

"Well, I can't answer this question. I want to ask my future Mr. Right. I have seen a lot of "grass", so naturally I have to figure out what kind of "grass" can match my flower. "Flower", then gallop forward and enjoy the prosperity of the world, "I said jokingly.

"I'm almost dying of anxiety. I'm not talking about you. If you are too handsome, you will feel insecure. If you are too ugly, you will not be noticed. If you are too stupid, you will find it unsentimental. If you are too smart, you will be afraid of grasping it. If you can’t live together, then what else do you want to choose? In fact, being together is more about the trivial matters of life. After more than a year of marriage, and looking at the couples of classmates and friends around me, I feel more and more like "knowing how cold it is and knowing how hot it is." It’s the warmth of life. People who are about to enter their third year of life will not marry unless they are handsome. Sweet talk is unrealistic. It is true to find someone who knows both coldness and warmth. “My best friend taught me a serious lesson.

After listening to it, I felt a little helpless and embarrassed and inexplicably sad.

My best friend’s tone of voice is very much like that of the elders in the family, which makes me feel as if a child has done something wrong. Mom also often nags that looks can be your meal, and you can live a good life just by looking at each other every day. The most practical thing is not that he understands you, takes care of your family, is attentive, considerate, and knows how hot and cold you are.

At that moment, I was sitting quietly in the rented single room. The air after the rain was a bit colder, and coupled with bouts of stomach pain, I was expecting someone to pour me hot water. He held me with his warm hands and told me that he would be with me.

In a daze, I kind of understood the meaning of everyone's warning "Find someone who knows both cold and hot".

Thinking about it over the years, friends have introduced many people to them, but I rejected them all without mercy. The most common sentence I said was: His appearance does not meet my standards, no matter how warm he is, I don’t want him. .

Allowing others to persuade you with earnest words, being considerate and trying to see if it suits you can help resolve the prejudice against appearance. I couldn't even hear it, because in my dictionary, appearance is king, and warmth is just a bonus.

The consequence of being stubborn is that my friends no longer introduce me to me, nor do they give me good advice, and I am left to fend for myself, so I go further and further down the path of being an older leftover girl.

02

In August last year, my best friend Z broke up with her handsome childhood sweetheart boyfriend, ending a 5-year relationship, and chose an unknown person who was transferred from another branch. Together with ordinary boys who are 3 months old. I couldn't understand it at all, and even quarreled with her over this matter. I was filled with righteous indignation and accused her of picking up sesame seeds and losing the watermelon, accusing her of liking the new and hating the old.

Faced with the onslaught of accusations, Z acted very calmly and told me, I am not as complicated as you think. I just want to find someone who knows both coldness and hotness. There are people who care about me on weekdays. When I feel cold, Someone is sick and feels distressed. You have never experienced it, and you cannot understand the happiness of staying in a cold relationship for 5 years and receiving the sunshine again.

Seeing her persistence and holding the attitude that she would be happy if she was happy, I no longer openly objected or commented. After all, like a person drinking water, he knows whether it is hot or cold.

In order to resolve my potential hostility towards her boyfriend, she mentioned his good qualities in front of me from time to time.

When my best friend wears a long skirt and high heels to go shopping, when riding the escalator, the boy will always help her lift the skirt and remind her to stand firm;

When eating Western steak together, the boy will always He will considerately help her cut into pieces, and will also remove the sinewy parts that are easy to stick to her teeth;

On rainy days, he will hug her best friend's shoulders tightly and tilt the umbrella towards her, every time she comes home The best friend only had wet shoes and socks, but he was dripping with water.

When my best friend goes abroad with her friends, he will help exchange foreign currency and prepare strategies in advance. In addition to the travel methods, he also has various considerate tips. He also repeatedly tells him to call him for help at any time if you have any questions.

My best friend talks about a lot of trivial things. Every time she mentions her boyfriend, she smiles from ear to ear with a happy expression on her face. I always hit her mercilessly, "This is not normal. Isn’t this a phenomenon? Shouldn’t all men in love be like this? What’s there to show off?” She would also fight back unfailingly: “You will know when you meet her in the future. Many relationships are only romantic in form and lack action. The warmth is not warm enough! "

But I have to admit that one winter day, seeing her boyfriend silently taking her hand and putting it in his pocket was a bit touching. Crossed my heart.

August 25 this year was the first anniversary of their love. On such a special day, they entered the palace of marriage. I attended as a bridesmaid, and the ring exchange process at the wedding left a deep impression on me.

My best friend’s husband said: “I’m not good at words. I went to Baidu last night and read a lot of beautiful words and sentences. I wanted to express my love today. But now I found that my mind was blank and of no use at all. Finally, I just want to say, I am ugly, but I am gentle, I am ugly, but I am warm, and I will keep you as warm as when I first met you for the rest of my life.”

My best friend was moved to tears several times. I choked up and cried all my makeup.

A few simple words, warm affection, and sweet words, no matter how beautiful they are, can't compare to the words "I will warm you for the rest of my life as if I first met you."

I finally believe that my best friend will be happy forever if she finds a good man who looks ordinary but knows both coldness and warmth.

I finally understood that warmth is a person’s temperament and an attitude that conveys how people get along with each other. A warm man will not let your love only rely on your own imagination. He will use actions to make it more concrete. He will warm you when it is cold, appear when you need it, share when you are happy, share when you are in pain, and will no longer let you walk alone. , hold on.

03

After watching an issue of "Art Life", Zhu Jun asked the guest Wang Zhiwen why he was not married at the age of 40. Wang Zhiwen said that he had not found a suitable one. "What kind of person are you looking for?" Wang Zhiwen paused before replying: "I just want to find someone I can chat with anytime, anywhere!"

Zhu Jun said: "Isn't this easy?"

Wang Zhiwen shook his head and said seriously: "It's not easy! It's not easy! For example, if you think of something in the middle of the night and you call her, she will say: 'What time is it? I'm so sleepy. Let's talk tomorrow. Right. 'You lose interest immediately. Sometimes, if you think about it, you don't want to say it to some people. It's not easy to find someone who you want to talk to and can talk to. ”

Celebrities are glamorous in front of others, but everyone, just like the general public, just wants to find someone who is like-minded and knows how to live their lives.

It is said that marriage is the second reincarnation of life. To spend your life with a person who is like-minded and understands hotness and coldness is the right second reincarnation. Some people always say they are good to you, but are hesitant in their actions. People who know both cold and hot will pay attention to you and be able to understand your needs. He knows that you need to be cared for, hugged, and have the security of being protected and knowing that you are important to him.

Just like when I was a child, my parents often quarreled, my mother was strong and my father was stubborn. During the Cold War, my father would still give her medicine and pour water when my mother had unbearable stomachaches, and give her muscle-relaxing massages when her feet cramped at night. I will cook my mother’s favorite meals.

Dad's actions of knowing what's cool and what's hot can always quickly gain mom's forgiveness and get back together!

In fact, countless relationships and marriages have collapsed, not because of lack of love, but because of a cold heart. The calm enthusiasm for you has waned, and then the heart has become cold and there is no reason to continue.

Countless successful examples tell us that it is not because of too much love, but because of the accumulation of warm and heart-warming little things, which then generates trust and dependence, and never gives up the thought of letting go.

04

A friend once recommended me to listen to an unpopular song, "A Good Man Who Knows Cold and Hot" by Guo Hengyu. The reason for the recommendation is that the lyrics are very straightforward, but also realistic. Sincere and to the point. There is a lyric in it that goes like this:

"Slowly understand that love is the responsibility of two people. Red wine and French food cannot make you date a true lover. Find a man who loves you and give yourself to him. Well, the warmth of fried dough sticks and soy milk is actually the most true. Find a good man who understands both cold and hot. He will be a person who loves you. It doesn’t matter how much money you have. The important thing is that he understands your heart. Find a man who knows your heart. A good man who knows both coldness and hotness is the one who can give you happiness. He will be by your side whether it is sunny or rainy. That is the fate of a lifetime. ”

Yes, we all just want to find someone who knows how cold it is and how hot it is. As a partner, I will eat soy milk and fried dough sticks with you for breakfast, send you a brief greeting when you are busy, hold your hand for a walk together when you are free, lean on your shoulder when you are tired, hold you in my arms to keep you warm when you are cold, and refrain from giving in when you are noisy. Feel the same when you are in trouble and give your full support...the warm little details of getting along, the simple sweetness, can breed full of love.

Lee Hyori and Lee Sang-soon, the "Beauty and the Beast" couple who once caused boos, were attracted by a handsome and handsome man. After a low-key wedding, they lived a beautiful semi-seclusion in Jeju Island. In life, today, Lee Hyori has taken off her makeup and shows a fresh face. There is a sense of satisfaction after a lot of changes in the corners of her mouth. There is light like water in her eyes. She has a lover who knows both coldness and warmth by her side. This is generally how happy times are.

After understanding the happiness of others, I realize that "harmony is hard to find, and knowing how to be cold and hot is the most rare thing."

It is very important to find a man who knows both cold and hot feelings. I will protect you from wind and rain, and I am also willing to travel the world for you. And from now on, in every day when we are aware of the warmth and coldness, it is enough to be able to look at each other ahead with a warm smile and never leave each other. ?