Humorous opening lines

1. Sorry, everyone, you have come to the wrong place. Today’s speech has been cancelled. I think we don’t need any speeches. What we need is sincere communication. So, let’s communicate sincerely today. It started. (As soon as I came on stage, I told the audience that today’s speech was cancelled. Everyone would be very surprised, and then think about what happened? At this time, the audience’s attention was all attracted to the speaker, and then the speaker began to say: “We are here today. The sincere communication begins." Then start the speech. The biggest advantage of this method is that it can quickly grab the audience's attention.)

2. "Friends, some people are really good at business. , Speculating is a good idea! There is a poem "Knack Inscription" which tells us: If the position is not high, the tip of the head will be smart; if the official is not high, the hand will be long; this is the secret, only I am in the camp; if you hold the thick leg against me, you will be good. He uses his personal life to get good luck, and he can open the back door and talk about friendship. He has no cells of justice and no principles. He uses tobacco and alcohol to clear the way. Confucius said: 'What is so despicable?'

3. My surname is Hu, so what I say next is nonsense. Please do not take it seriously (disclaimer before speaking in informal situations). My surname is Gu. Today is evening. There is a little moonlight in the sky, and I am with you. Together they become nonsense, so what I said may be nonsense, don’t care about it!

4. Ladies?and?Gentlemen, please invite me to shine on the stage. I like my invitation very much. Applause, don’t applaud if you like me too much, thank you for your cooperation...

5. This opening statement left a very frank, humorous and good impression on people. Not long after, at the "Golden Microphone Night" literary gala, he was seen with a smile on his face and said to the audience: "I'm glad to see you again, but unfortunately to see me again...