Can there still be love in a marriage without "sex" between husband and wife?

01.

I have always been puzzled by a question: once a husband and wife are in a sexless marriage, how much love will there be?

In response to this question, let’s first discuss what is a sexless marriage?

A sexless marriage refers to a marriage without sex. Sociologists say that if there is no physical illness or accident between the couple, but there is no tacit sexual life for more than a month, it is a sexless marriage. Sexless marriage also refers to a relationship between a man and a woman on the basis of their promise not to have sex.

Some time ago, I also learned about "sexless" marriage from some married friends. For them, if there is love between husband and wife, it doesn't matter if there is sex or not; Love, without even physical contact, this kind of marriage will make people crazy.

To be precise, if a couple does not have sex, but they have intimate actions such as kissing and hugging, they can feel that they love each other, but they do not have to have sex. .

But if one party treats the other party with "cold treatment" for a long time without any physical contact, this is the most torture and the most chilling.

The couple Liu Shufen and Xu Bochang in the movie "Wonderful West and East" are typical representatives of the second type of "sexless" marriage.

Liu Shufen and Xu Bochang are two strangers living under the same roof. They don't talk, sleep in separate beds, and they even use separate cups for eating and drinking. Their marriage has reached a point where they are torturing each other. This type of marriage is truly unbearable. It is also certain that they no longer have love for each other.

Living under the same roof, I still hope that one of the parties will be the intimate partner of the other party, rather than the most unwelcome stranger.

Just like there is a saying on Zhihu: If there is love in a marriage, then sex only accounts for 10% of the marriage; if there is no love in the marriage, then sex will account for 90% of the marriage.

Can there still be love in a marriage without sex? Regarding this issue, we might as well listen to what a married woman has to say.

02.

Qing Mang is a middle-aged woman who has just divorced. She finally chose to divorce her husband.

Qing Mang said that her marriage was just like Liu Shufen in "Wonder of the West", with an extremely desolate heart. And I always feel that this matter is something that is difficult to talk about, and there is no way to explain it clearly to others. Qing Mang said that he felt like he had a fake marriage.

They have children, but after having children, she and her husband became less and less interested in contact. Sometimes Qingmang wonders if she is too inactive, but when she takes the initiative to think about her husband approaching, but he still dodges, she realizes that there is a problem in their marriage.

The husband did not want any physical contact with Qingmang. Even when Qingmang asked for a hug, the husband still refused.

In the end, they had no choice but to sleep in separate rooms, but what about sleeping in separate rooms? It will only put the marriage of two people in a more embarrassing and hopeless situation.

Qing Mang once humbly asked her husband: Did he ever love her?

My husband said yes, I love you, but I don’t want to have physical contact with you. When her husband said this, Qing Mang felt it was ridiculous. She felt that she had been cheated. She finally recognized the marriage, and since there was no love or sex, she could only move towards divorce.

Also, how much love can there be in a sexless marriage?

It’s understandable if it’s because you’re too busy at work, but if you’ve reached the point where you don’t even want to talk, how loving can this marriage be?

03.

If we strictly follow the definition of asexual marriage, Ning Xiaoguo’s marriage is also a sexless marriage. After having children, Ning Xiaoguo and her husband basically It's once every two to three months, which is by definition a sexless marriage.

But Ning Xiaoguo knows what their problem is? Both of them are too busy. Xiaoguo was busy taking care of the child, and her body did not recover as before after giving birth. The disharmony in her sexual life also made her a little resistant to this aspect. As for my husband, he is also very busy. Sometimes he gets home after working overtime and socializing until one o'clock in the morning. How can he still think about this matter?

Xiaoguo was also in a very tiring situation raising her own children. Children were really clingy when they were young.

Another reason is that they can't see a good opportunity. Sometimes two people are ready, but the little kid suddenly wakes up. For various reasons, their married life has become less and less.

But Xiaoguo said that she could feel the love between them. Sometimes, although her husband was very tired, he would still want to hug her, which made Xiaoguo feel very warm.

For Ning Xiaoguo, it doesn't matter whether she has sex or not. As long as her husband takes the family seriously and they can hug and kiss, this is enough for them.

Can there still be love in a marriage without sex?

Ning Xiaoguo said that there is love in their marriage, because she and her husband will still sit on the sofa and watch TV, sleep together, and sometimes kiss each other. They still have each other in their hearts. Yes, how could there be no love?

04.

Mr. Mu Xin has a saying that is very thought-provoking: Sexual impotence is a small matter, but love incompetence is a big matter. The biggest harm to relationships is not lack of sex, but lack of communication.

What is the most scary thing about a sexless marriage? One puts the other in a position of indifference. If there is no communication, no communication for a long time, and they are in a wordless marriage, will two people still have feelings?

Just like Xu Bochang in "Wunwen Xidong", he would rather communicate with his neighbors than his wife. This puts his wife in the position of a stranger, and even more so. It is to treat your marriage with a cold war and no communication. Anyone in such a marriage would not be able to bear it.

In the final analysis, it is not asexuality, but an inability to love, and a lack of communication in relationships.

Don’t let your lover live under the same roof with you, but you live alone.

If you cannot give a lot of love, you must give more sex; if you cannot give a lot of sex, you must give a lot of love. It is still necessary to communicate more in marriage instead of being indifferent to the other partner.