Mother ruined the child by talking like this for a long time.

Mother ruined the child by talking like this for a long time.

Mom has ruined a child by talking like this for a long time. How terrible is the "verbal violence" of parents? Some wrong ways for parents to educate their children may ruin them. Do you know what it's like for a mother to ruin a child by talking like this for a long time?

My mother's tirade ruined a child. It was a summer vacation and I stayed at my aunt's house for a month. I'm going to go home and take the driver's license test (after all, it's much more cost-effective to take the driver's license test in my hometown). There is a driving school near my aunt's house, so my aunt suggested that I live in their house, saying that it is more convenient for training and examination. Secondly, she also said that I could help Linger with her English by the way.

When I was with Ling He, I had several in-depth chats with her.

On one occasion, we went shopping together for several nights. Their mother and daughter quarreled over such a trivial matter as buying clothes. At that time, my cousin took a fancy to a very different kind of dress, but my aunt thought it was too strange to wear at Linger's age, so she said she couldn't support her to buy it, and she kept complaining to me that Linger was becoming more and more disobedient and sad.

Have a heart-to-heart talk with my cousin

At home, I had a heart-to-heart talk with Ling He. Of course, I also want to know why their mother-daughter relationship is so stiff now.

We talked a lot at that time. But the following sentence impressed me very much:

"Tell your sister what kind of person is your mother?"

"She's all right, but it's not good-she likes to complain!"

"What does she usually tell you?"

"She will tell me a lot. I don't listen to her, and my grades are getting worse. I have a bad relationship with my classmates. Work is hard, and it is not easy to support the family. Dad is not nice to her. She was so angry that her father and daughter had a headache and her body was not as good as before ... "

"But my mother sometimes tells me something."

"At first, I really listened to her complaints. I feel sorry for her, too, and I feel sorry for her, and I meet something that goes wrong. Especially when this matter is still related to me, I blame myself terribly and feel that I owe her a lot. But ... "

Shine paused, looking at that, feeling a little out of control. So I patted her shoulder with my hand.

"But life is not always smooth sailing, don't you think, sister?"

"Yes, yes." I quickly nodded like a chicken pecking rice.

"In fact, she doesn't say, and I know that she has paid a lot for me. But who can stand her constant complaints? Just like Sister Xianglin mentioned in Lu Xun's novel Blessing, the child was eaten by a wolf and told others about her tragic experience every day. At first, people listened with sympathy. Then people walked away as soon as they saw her. I am her daughter. I can't choose to leave Then you have to pretend it doesn't matter.

However, she began to complain that I didn't listen to her, didn't understand her mother's difficulties, and had no gratitude at all. Before her grades dropped a little, she said I was sorry for her efforts. I've heard too much! There are really too many! I feel like there is a heavy stone in my chest and I can't breathe. How I wish my mother could be happier! But no matter what I do, it feels useless. She can always find complaints ... "

"Then you didn't tell your mother directly to stop complaining often?"

"It's no use, no use. Anyway, I don't want to listen to her more and more now. I want to run counter to her ... "

When I heard this, I suddenly realized.

This sentence has been echoing in my ears.

"She's all right, but it's not good: she likes to complain!"

Of course I know that complaining is not good.

I can also understand Linger's rebellious character.

Because I grew up, I almost drowned by my mother's bitter water.

However, my performance is different from that of Linger.

Since childhood, I am more understanding, more understanding, more sensitive and slender, and more concerned about other people's ideas and evaluations. I work harder and live up to my mother's expectations!

It's just that there are many grievances hidden in it, and I live without my true self.

There is a saying in psychology called "Moore effect".

People's emotions will be transmitted to others, just like a stone thrown into the water. The calm water surface will ripple and spread around, which psychologists call "Mohr effect".

In life, this "moire effect" is like a demon, tormenting many people.

Colleagues: Some people feel that they are always unlucky, work too much and get less money, and always like to complain to colleagues.

Husband and wife: Some people feel that how much they have paid for their families is not easy, and they always nag each other;

Friends: Some people feel that they are always unhappy, don't mix well, and always complain to their friends;

Parents: I always feel that I am kind and considerate to my children everywhere, but I lament that I can't get their understanding;

……

This "Mohr effect" is spreading in a cycle, and negative energy is bursting! The listener is unconsciously brought into this depression and discomfort. What happens when you complain to each other for a long time? There is no doubt: affect the relationship between colleagues! Affect the harmony between husband and wife! Affect the friendship of friends! Affect the feelings of parents and children!

In fact, every child is born an independent individual!

As parents, we should make excuses for smiling instead of complaining!

As a parent, you should be a messenger of positive energy, not an endorsement of the "moire effect"!

As mothers, we should insist on:

Don't torture your child mentally for a long time by complaining!

Don't treat children as "trash cans" for our negative emotions!

Mother has ruined a child by talking like this for a long time. After a child is born, it can be said to be a pure blank sheet of paper. Many things are incomprehensible and curious about the world everywhere. At this time, parents need to teach their children more knowledge. Everyone must have heard the saying: "Parents are children's first teachers", which means that parents' innate education is extremely important to children.

Children grow up every day, and many parents will find that in the process of taking care of children, children will always be out of their control for a while. Children around the age of three have strong language skills. Children know a lot of what their parents say, but they just don't do what their mothers want.

When a child is seven years old, he will deliberately do something wrong, and he will have a sense of pride after doing it. Another stage is that children are the most unruly in adolescence, and sometimes parents can't control their children at all.

Rebellion is a level that every child will go through.

What are the unruly behaviors of children in adolescence?

I have a good example around me. Let me tell you about it. My cousin goes to junior high school. One day, when I was supposed to be in class, I suddenly went home. The family was puzzled and asked their cousin, "Why did you come back? Are you unwell? " My cousin replied, "I really don't want to go to school. It is so boring. I can't understand what the teacher is saying. It's so annoying. "

His father listened and scolded him. As a result, his cousin made up his mind not to go to school, and everything at home was exhausted. His heart never wavered, and he finally dropped out of junior high school. My cousin likes auto repair himself. After dropping out of school, he studied related technologies. Now I work in a garage, and my salary can support my life.

1, excessive pride

In adolescence, children will have the psychology of excessive comparison. They want their parents to buy Apple phones for them when they see others using them. They see that others are wearing famous brands, so they want to buy famous brand clothes and so on.

Some girls also love beauty, secretly spend money on cosmetics, such as lipstick and foundation, and dress themselves up beautifully. Children will think in their hearts that if they put on beautiful clothes, their faces will be very dignified, and many students will play with them.

2, big temper, lost his temper.

The child is in a rebellious period and has a very bad temper. Parents may say a few more words, and children will lose their temper with their parents and sometimes fight with them. I often fight at school, disobey the teacher's discipline and contradict the teacher.

Step 3 fall in love too early

Children at the age of 12 will long for love and want to fall in love. When children fall in love, they will not focus on their studies. In the long run, his academic performance will become a mess.

4. Indulge in mobile phones every day

Nowadays, children will basically have their own mobile phones when they reach junior high school. They watch mobile phones, indulge in games or chat with friends before and after school every day.

Some wrong practices of parents in educating their children may ruin their children.

1, the heart is too soft

Sometimes when a child does something wrong, he will immediately run to his mother to admit his mistake. The mother just wants to lose her temper with her children. When she saw the child admit his mistake so actively, she would forgive the child, not pursue the child's mistake, and the child would not reflect on his mistake.

Don't break your word.

Some parents promised to take their children to the park to play on weekends, but on that day, the parents may have something to keep, and the children will feel that everything their mother said is not credible. Therefore, mothers must remember what they have said to themselves, abide by the agreement, and communicate with their children in advance if something really happens.

3. Have no patience with children.

Parents may not be very satisfied with some things that children do, and parents will yell at their children. I don't listen to children's reasons at all. The child wants to explain that parents don't give opportunities.

4. Spend little time with children.

Parents may be busy at work at ordinary times, but they can't cope, so they send their children to grandma. If a child can't see his mother for a long time, he won't feel maternal love, and the concept of maternal love will slowly lose.

Summary:

Any child is a treasure in the mother's hands. After the child is born, every parent hopes that the child can grow up healthily and be happy every day. I also hope that children can become talents, be admitted to an ideal university, have a decent job and have a happy family.

Some mothers' behavior will affect their children from childhood, and some children will follow their mother's example in doing things. Therefore, mothers must have the right methods to educate their children, prevent them from going astray and make their lives more exciting.

Mom's long-term talk like this actually ruined a child, and 3 1 also ruined the child's curiosity.

Babies are born curious about the world. A little older, they like to feel the world through touch. As mothers, they keep issuing "warnings", "Don't climb under the table and bump your head", "Don't touch thermos flask, be careful to burn your hands" and "Don't touch the drawer, it hurts to pinch your hands" ... How much the little guys like the world depends entirely on their personal experiences. If she cares about children's safety and so-called cleanliness blindly, she will feel that the world is not fun at all and slowly lose her desire to explore.

2. Affect children's judgment

Parents should give their children some help when they are young, but in the long run, mothers must learn to let go. Many children are told by their mothers every day: "It's cold today, bring more clothes", "Remember to bring books" and "What about swimming class today? Have you brought your swimming trunks and caps? " ... after a long time, the habit of forgetting things has not improved, but has become a habit. Mother nags too much and makes children form a habit.

3. Destroy children's sense of responsibility

Many parents react that when their children talk back, they always need to be urged for a long time or simply resist. In fact, many things are the "wishful thinking" of mothers to their children. If the child doesn't cooperate, he will keep nagging and persuading until the child cooperates. Children's own thoughts are bound and their behavior is restricted. Therefore, it is easy for children to "sing the opposite" with their mothers.

4. Combat children's self-confidence.

Many mothers say that their children are very sensitive and lack confidence in communication. In fact, most of these phenomena are the result of children's long-term uncertainty. Many mothers unconsciously fall into the strange circle of "other people's children". Once one's children fall behind in some way, they begin to take pains and have endless reasons. Children are always compared. After a long time, many things that I was originally interested in have lost interest, and I feel inferior to others from the bottom of my heart.

5. Affect children's health

The doctor said: Some children always suffer from some strange little problems frequently. In fact, the reason is not that the child has physical problems, but that negative emotions have caused physical problems. Mothers take their children too carefully and nervously, and strive for perfection in everything. After a long time, children's behavior is bound and their mood is low, so children are prone to get sick, or get sick slowly.

When children are young, they need their mothers to accompany them wholeheartedly, talk, play and tell stories. Mothers' nagging stems from their deep love for their children. With the growth of children's age, these nagging will gradually become a negative emotion and become a stumbling block on their growth path.

Therefore, for growing children, mothers need to learn to let go slowly and give them more opportunities to practice their experiences. Listen more, change the way you speak, if necessary, let mothers control themselves and keep quiet, and children will be more willing to be close to you.