What if the children in the supermarket cry to buy something? (Educational feelings)

Last night, I met a mother and daughter in a small supermarket. The mother is in her thirties and the child is five or six years old. Her lovely short hair and sad eyes make people feel pity. When I went in, the child was sobbing quietly and begging his mother to buy lollipops. For some reason, her mother disagreed. After a while, I went into the shelf and came out with what I needed. It took about five minutes. When I came out, the child and mother were still tug-of-war at the cashier. The child looked at his mother with the same eager eyes as before, and the immature voice came into my ear: "Mom, buy it for me!" " You buy it for me! "She said, pulling her mother's skirts. I paid the money, and it's my turn to settle the goods of the mother and daughter. When paying the money, the mother said to the child, "You don't keep your word. You will throw it away when you go out. I don't believe you. "It seems that the baby always bullies things and then doesn't like it, so the mother is unwilling to buy them for her children.

Seeing that his mother had paid the money, the child felt that his lollipop was hopeless and cried even louder. The cashier immediately said, "Don't cry, son. Mom bought it for you. The money has been paid. " The mother may be embarrassed to watch the child cry, but she also said to the child, "Let's go, let's go. I have already bought it. " I'm listening, and Zhang Er is at a loss. I'm thinking about how mothers encourage their children's bad habits while scolding them. This practice undoubtedly makes children lose an opportunity to correct their misconduct or bad habits. Children don't know that it is inappropriate for them to cry in public. On the contrary, children think that this behavior of children is their own way to win. In addition, the habit of throwing things away after buying them will definitely happen again (in fact, this is also the main reason why mom doesn't buy them). What a good educational opportunity now! But I missed it. I missed the opportunity for children to correct bad habits. I haven't written a blog for a long time, but yesterday's events made me feel that I still want to say something, because I remembered the Pentium when I was a child. Generally speaking, there are not many times like Pentium, and he seldom cries for anything. Even if he wants to buy it, I think it is reasonable and unreasonable. That's because it's the first time I've encountered such a thing, and I told him it's no use crying. The more I cry, the less I will buy it. If I really like this thing, I can tell my mother why you like it. If it is too expensive or not suitable for other reasons, I can also tell him clearly (in a language that children can understand), so that children can clearly know the reasons why they can't buy it and let him accept it at one time. Next time, if the same reason leads to disapproval of buying things for children, the children will be convinced. This means: the rules of the game that children already know, or the theory that children have accepted, more popularly speaking, are the rules of children. For Pentium, the rules of our family are: first, crying can never succeed; Second, you can't buy things that are too expensive; Third, junk food can't be bought. Children understand from an early age that these are the three minimum rules that can't be shaken. So when Pentium wants to buy something, he will never cry at first, because he knows that once he cries, he will get nothing. As long as the second or third reason exists, he can accept not to buy. Of course, when adults implement it, the standards must be consistent. Don't define what you don't buy for your children today as junk food, but what you want to buy for your children tomorrow is not junk food. In this way, your children will be completely confused by their parents' dishonesty, and finally there will be no rules and educational significance. After all, children like thousands of things, and sometimes they refuse, and they should also consider their feelings. After all, they are all things he/she likes. So parents should also find some substitutes to satisfy their children. For example, if something is too expensive, can you consider replacing it with something else, or the website can try to buy a substitute with good performance and quality and acceptable price. After talking with your child, you must agree that the child should follow the alternative plan, otherwise the child will gradually lose trust in the parents, and the final result is that the parents feel that the child is disobedient, mostly because the parents are the initiators. The mother in the supermarket mentioned above also makes the child's cognition biased. On the one hand, criticize children's mistakes, on the other hand, condone children's mistakes. Why not take this opportunity to educate children and make them realize that things they buy will soon be thrown away? At this time, this kind of education can be completed through negotiation: if you continue your previous bad habits, throw them away and never buy them again. Keep your word and supervise your child's completion. No matter how bad this thing tastes, as long as children eat it, they should be encouraged and praised for keeping their promises. If it's not delicious, she won't ask for it again. If it is delicious, the child can buy it all, and she can continue to buy it in the future (of course, this lollipop is classified as junk food in our family, so my son will not insist). She will also take this opportunity to praise the child as a trustworthy child and let the child know what kind of behavior she is right and what kind of behavior is inappropriate. Children have to accept the results of their actions, in fact, this has also cultivated their sense of responsibility invisibly. Speaking of this, I remembered one thing when Pentium was a child, a small toy that Pentium liked, and I forgot one thing. One night, it was too late. I told him to sleep, but he kept playing with toys. I told him the last warning that if I didn't put the toy down after one, two and three days, I would throw it away, as promised. I really did what I said. On the count of three, I threw a toy I caught into the trash can and was shocked. I told him that your toy was missing. Then Pentium was particularly afraid that I would count to one, two, three. In fact, I played a narrow-minded role in this matter. He likes this toy very much, but he can still buy it in the future. The reason why I found something I like to educate him is because I can leave a deep impression on him; The reason why I thought of buying him another one is because the child really likes it, or because I want to find an opportunity to make up for his broken heart when I have the opportunity. Of course, I did well in other aspects later, and I bought the same toy for my children. At the same time, clearly tell children that poor performance will lose what they love, and good performance will win what they love. You must bear the consequences for your actions, whether good or bad. I think the most basic thing to teach children is that parents should be "honest", otherwise parents will be the last to be tired.