Qq Personality Classic Funny Talk Daquan

1. My neighbor's aunt's son is 29 years old. He talked with his girlfriend for a year or two and hasn't got married yet. During a chat, I asked my aunt, "Your son is 29 years old. When will he get married? I'm still waiting for candy. " Aunt replied: "I am also anxious, just waiting for my girlfriend to divorce!" " "

In ancient times, there was a child named Sima Guang. While he was playing with his children in the garden, a child accidentally fell into a jar full of water. The children panicked and ran to the adults crying. Sima Guang didn't panic. He lifted a stone and threw it at the jar. The jar was broken, water flowed out and the child was saved. Everyone praised Sima Guang: You are so clever! The next day, they went to the river to play. Sima Guang accidentally fell into the river. The children did not panic. They calmly picked up stones from the ground and threw them into the river. Sima Guang, nine years old.

My roommate of three or four years only ate her and gave five of us an orange. This is really an orange. Snacks are always taken to bed by yourself, and then get out of bed after eating. Everyone in the dormitory charged two yuan for electricity. My roommate said that we used her electricity, so we shouldn't ask her to pay. Give her money! More importantly ... I once saw five audis in her camera! Five cars! There are cameras at home!

4. My daughter is 26 years old. I just watched TV with my family and watched a TV series. Plot: The woman's parents didn't agree to the marriage between the woman and the man, so they stole the household registration book to register with the man. I read it with relish, and my father said to me, Look, those people are stealing household registration books. Our household registration book has been in the drawer for so many years that no one has touched it. It's the Spring Festival, it's really hard to prevent!

When criticizing others, don't forget that you also have many shortcomings.

Six, two female employees chat at lunch. The new chairman is really handsome and well dressed. Yes, you can get dressed quickly.

Seven, my happiness is in hell, and all love is forbidden to go to prison.

Eight, I can tell many stories, from suitable for all ages to unsuitable for children.

According to research, the first owner of Taobao in China was the poet Wang Wei. The basis lies in a condolence poem he wrote to the buyer: Think twice about your relatives during the festive season!

Ten, I feel that I am neglecting my studies and indulging in male sex every day.

How much is love worth? Can you guarantee that?

12. M: "The present society emphasizes equality between men and women, and they are all equal, regardless of each other." Woman: "is that why you went to the ladies' room?" "

Thirteen, since my mother knew that I had a boyfriend, my account book was moved from the cupboard to the safe.

14. Be a female hooligan under siege. After all, no one treats you like a little girl.

Fifteen or two hundred passengers waited for twenty-four hours, and finally they could board the plane. When passing the airport security check, a passenger shouted, what's the need? If someone has a weapon, he will shoot.

16. American intelligence agencies report that from August to September every year, a man in China assembled most of his troops and then mysteriously disappeared! Later, American scientific research invested tens of billions! Draw a conclusion-start military training.

Seventeen, my friend's birthday is tomorrow, and the next day I sent her a short message: sofa.

Eighteen, a person went through hardships to find seven dragon balls. After the dragon appeared, he said that he would realize his three wishes. The man blurted out and wanted a train ticket home. Shenlong thought for a moment and said, "You can get on my back, or I'll carry you home!" "

19. I hope you won't get fat after eating too much and have a pleasant face.

Twenty, people who like you will tell you that I took a shower, and then they will say that I have finished washing. People who don't like you will die in the bathroom after I take a shower.

People I like and people who like me remember to add clothes. Don't like my naked.

Twenty-two, young man, you feel sorry for you. In fact, you didn't sleep well. You thought you were upset. In fact, you didn't eat enough. You thought you missed it. In fact, you were too idle.

Twenty-three, in the evening, I came into the house and saw my husband reading things on the computer. I asked him what he was doing, and he calmly said that he was watching an island movie. I'm still at home, so blatant! Without saying anything, I went up and got a fat beating. Take a look at the computer: Dragon Ball.

Twenty-four, old woman: You want to hire a heroine, I'll apply for it. Director: But you are late. Old woman: I came as soon as I saw the advertisement. Why am I late? Director: You are 20 years late.

Twenty-five, just tell me six words. I'll buy you snacks.

Twenty-six, China students are best at staying up late, doing homework, carrying the college entrance examination, typhoon smog. The flowers of the motherland are really powerful.

The food is too good to refuse a person who feels lonely in the middle of the night.

Twenty-eight, I bought a pack of cigarettes in the canteen in the morning and bought a bottle of wine in the canteen in the afternoon. By the way, I handed the cigarette to the boss and lit it. The boss took a sip and said, This cigarette is a bit fake. ...

Li: "Just now a man suddenly hugged me from behind and molested me." Qiang: "No wonder you are so angry." Li: "What's even more irritating is that the man actually said,' What a wet blanket, it's a man!'" "

Thirty, my sorrow is nothing more than lying flat-chested and my stomach is still there.

Qq Classic Funny Talk about Daquan Space Funny Talk about Daquan Sentences

1, now dating, many women first ask if they have a house or a car. In view of this, I suggest that real estate developers and car dealers set up a special women's registry, so that all women who need houses and cars can register, and then launch the activity of buying houses and cars as gifts for their wives. The things are sold, and the houses and cars that women need are also available. Everyone is very happy.

2. Make friends inadvertently, and I don't say anything when I drink to death. I just want to know, some time ago, when I got married, which bastard stuffed me with condoms, full of condoms and seven or eight red envelopes! Open it in public. Where do you want me to put my face?

I used to be a schoolmaster, until one day I wanted to see the world of dregs, but I couldn't find my way back.

4, don't make my brother angry, my brother is also very violent!

5. Should I sleep late on weekends? Sorry, I didn't sleep. Sleeping on weekends delays cleaning and going out to play.

6. I am a special person. I am an ordinary person, so I am an extraordinary person.

7. If you are important, he will naturally try to keep you.

8. In winter in Beijing, I ordered a breakfast in a roadside shop. After drinking a hot drink, all the cells in my body seem to be activated by the warm current. I can't help praising you. I didn't expect your store to be small, but the coffee is quite distinctive! This is milk, sir, said the waiter patting the dust on his shoulder. . .

9. Before my husband and I got married, we often pretended not to know each other, and then we met or chatted. The funniest time was when he rode a motorcycle to meet me at the subway exit. I deliberately asked the master how much it would cost to go to a certain community. Said: no money, just give me a kiss, and I really kissed him and got on his car. The master of the motorcycle next to me was dumbfounded and advised me not to be fooled by the little girl!

10, turn your photo into black and white, take it out when you miss you, and then tell yourself that you are dead.

How are you going to spend April Fool's Day? I want to confess. Why? Because I was rejected, I can still answer with a smile and say Happy April Fool's Day!

12, do you know what to lose weight for? Losing weight means eating again.

13, when I was in junior high school, a classmate always felt that his bike was slow. When he got home, he loosened all the screws around the wheel with pliers, thinking it would be quick. The next day, during the exercise, the wheels flew out of the car at high speed.

14, Chinese at least increases literary knowledge! English can be communicated with foreigners! History keeps you from betraying! Geography keeps you from getting lost! Politics makes you know how to defend your rights! Mathematics is going to ruin your life: go to the Yellow Crane Tower and calculate how far the boat in the Yangtze River is from you!

15, because you are the kindest and funniest girl I have ever seen.

16,-If you mess with me again, I'll write your name on your underwear and fart you to death.

17, send you a mirror that can make you get what you want! Looking in the mirror is a surprise. White teeth, big eyes and slender waist are fascinating. Look how beautiful you are. Why do you ask me? Because this is a ha ha mirror!

18, I saw some people tattoo a ring on their fingers when they get married, and chop their hands when they get divorced, so I said to my wife, Why don't you get one? The wife said, that's too small to play. Let's get tattoos on our necks. God, what a wonderful time!

19, the years have passed, and I can't take away the care I sent you; Flowers bloom and fall, looking forward to tomorrow's glory; Pursue as much as you want, and let yourself enjoy the aftertaste of your dreams; May I dance with you successfully and make countless good luck!

20, Nongfu Spring is a bit sweet, and the spirit guy is a bit hanging.

2 1, let me see how big your heart is.

22. My brother's past love life was also quite chaotic.

23. If your ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend fall into the sea at the same time, would you like to stay with me?

24. I really can't forgive your vulgarity, and it is still so vulgar!

25. But when the ugliest side is revealed, someone feels distressed from the heart, which is true love. If you are just patient and helpless, life will tell you a truth. If you don't do it, you won't die. Because love is the most fragile relationship.

26. Someone jumped off the building on the roof of the company next door, and the fire came and the warning line was pulled. Laying an air cushion, but also psychological comfort and persuasion, this hot day, busy around. I remember 12 years, there was a dispute in the shopping mall, and dozens of people climbed upstairs and pretended to jump off the building to put out the fire, so they pulled up the cordon and said, OK, you can start jumping.

27. You are so funny. Didn't you say you wanted to chat with me? I sent you several messages when your wife came. Did you talk to me?

28. Walking into an alley, a beautiful woman greeted me: handsome boy, go in and play for a while. What moved me was tears. After all, after more than 30 years, someone finally admitted that I was a handsome boy and a beautiful woman. If I have no money, I will follow you in.

29. I tell you, I don't like people who can't afford to play with me. What about your capital?

30. Male, I have a project of hundreds of millions. If you are willing to do it, it will be yours. Can you do it? Female, do

Qq has a funny personality. Tell me about it.

1, I forgot to take my medicine today, which scared my friends. 2. It's not a crime for men to use guns, and women live by B.

We hold hands and shine together to the end of the world.

4. Smell the spirit without the sun and seek the rope without the sun consciousness.

Time tells me that no one needs to wait except express delivery.

6, a group of dogs behind the money, it is difficult to go without money.

7. The world is not only fair, but some mothers are also flat.

8. The son can't control it, but the daughter can't stand it.

9. You are so likable that I can't love you.

10, counting sheep until the mouth cramps, and the nightmare really wakes up naturally.

1 1, you are like a pug with food.

12, you are the first of all birds, and I am the statue of kings.

13, it is said that women are like water, so I learned to swim.

14, the most important position in my heart is still reserved for you.

15, it was still very easy to mix in ancient times. Cut it and you can be a civil servant.

16, spring is coming, please control your feelings.

17, suddenly looking back, the head teacher has stood at the door of the classroom.

18, you must go with her. I'll take the bus.

19, since I got mental illness, the whole person is much more energetic.

20. You are not a VIp, not even a V, you are just a P.

2 1, there is no fate between you and me, it all depends on my face value.

22. Happiness is to find a warm person and live a lifetime.

23, you have personality, you are not tall, and your personality is still so bad.

24, quietly waiting for you for a long time, you didn't come, but I am used to waiting.

25. Love has changed unconsciously under the exposure of time.

26. It's not that we fat people are too fat, but that you thin people are malnourished.

27. Give me a boat full of women and I can kill myself!

As a monster, my wish is to destroy an Altman.

29. If you mess with me again, I'll rip your guts out and tie a bow!

Opportunities rained down on me, but I dodged them one by one.

3 1, if I fall in love with your smile, how to collect it and how to have it.

What matters in life is not where you stand, but the direction you face.

33. When you speak ill of me, can you feel like cooking without embellishing it?

34, evil new society, why not arrange marriage?

35. A woman said to a man, Come to my house and I'll give you something to eat.

The recent ghost weather makes me feel like opening the refrigerator every time I open the door.

37. When you see someone you like on the road, you will immediately start the loading mode.

38. The lady is an unexplored Bikachu. A gentleman is a wolf in wool.

39. Does it itch? Itching is right. When the wound is growing, so are the nerve endings.

40. Be grateful! Thank you for accompanying me all the way through the long years!

4 1. Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are still alive, and he should have died!

42, explanation is cover-up, cover-up is dishonest, dishonest is not clean up!

43. In fact, when you hand in the blank paper, everyone is the first in grade. Why do we have to kill each other?

44. The most romantic thing I can think of is to have dinner with you, and then you pay the bill.

45. The physical education teacher in junior high school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class again will be punished for handstand.

46. The palaces are locked together with beads and jade. The palace can really be locked, can't it?

47. Living in this era of grass mud horse, we must take the attitude of looking for his sister with everything.

48. The furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but that you use Unicom and I use mobile.

49. After I left, you called me and said you missed me, just like a barking dog in the street.

50. The next time a man scolds you for having thick legs, you should answer him back, but your legs are thin and all three legs are thin.

5 1, one-on-one hit. Although I will lose physically, I will never lose mentally to you.

52. Carve loneliness on the bottle, drink it into the bladder and pee it out, so that loneliness can be spilled everywhere!

53. Some people like to take advantage. As soon as they heard that there was a discount on painless abortion, they wanted to have a baby at once.

54. On the road of life, when you try to climb up, there are always a few dogs trying their best to pull you down.

55. Love is like two people pulling a rubber band. The injured one is always unwilling to let go!

56. Recently, I have always been praised as handsome. I've been thinking all night, but I haven't figured out who leaked the news.

If you often look up, you will grow taller. If you always pick up bargains with your head down, you will bow down.

58. I dreamed that my object was dead and cried badly. When I woke up, I found that there was no object at all, and I cried even more.

59. Don't expect to lose weight. Bajie has walked 108000 miles without losing weight. Besides, he is a vegetarian!

60. Everyone needs a person who goes out to play as an excuse, so parents will feel at ease.

6 1, I want to talk about a love that will never break up, stumbling, sunset, and growing old together.

62. The air purifier is the most pretentious household appliance I have ever seen, especially when we pretend to have a class in the classroom.

When I miss you, it is sweet. When I cry, I miss your fragrance, hold me and give my heart sustenance. .

64. Humble people are invincible. You are invincible. How mean you are, you need to measure it with space.

65. The sky is sunny. How can I sleep? The teacher is kind and hypnotic. As long as I don't take exams, I will have many dreams.

66. One day, my love for you will get the same return, just as the closer I am to your router, the stronger the signal.

67. A wool felt can warm an orphan's lonely night, and it can also cover up a pair of dog men and women's smelly and sweaty adultery.

68. He always calls me Neil. Sometimes he will call me daughter-in-law, my wife before going to bed, my wife in the morning and my baby when I am happy.

69. I haven't watched TV in recent years. When I turned on the TV, I couldn't see. What role did Princess Zhu Huan play? Golden locks are emperors!

70. Why is the winter vacation not as long as the summer vacation? Because heat expands and contracts. Why is there so much homework? Because thermal expansion and cold contraction will not change the quality.

7 1, now Tencent is simply eating too much soap. Let's talk about what kind of mobile phone this is, which makes us poor people feel embarrassed!

72. Maybe I don't have hot love like the sun or endless love like running water. I only know that I love you forever and I can do anything for you.

73. I love you so inexplicably and without hesitation. I know I won't be the only one in your life, but you are the love of my life!

74. Recently, a shop called Drum and Gun was opened, and money was rolling in. Every time someone buys a drum set, his neighbor will come to buy a gun the next day.

75. If you have money and face, you are called a male god; If you have money and lose face, you are called a husband; A face without money is called a blue face. As for those who have no money and no face, I'm sorry you are a good person.

76. We can never leave, but we must cherish each other; It is not necessarily icing on the cake, but it must be a timely help; You don't have to contact often, but you must always care!

77. Some people don't like the ugly new version of RMB. No matter what he becomes, I will always love him. What I care about is not his appearance. I think this is the so-called true love.

78. The son said to him: Dad, I want to be a rich second generation. The father paused for a moment, then smiled and said to his son, this is easy to handle. When you grow up, give me all the money you earn, and you will be a rich second generation!

79. A friend has been doing WeChat business for more than a month, then quit, earned 380,000 yuan, and is now at home. I asked him how he made the money, and he said that he was selling fakes, and his leg was broken, and the insurance company paid for it.

80. I have money, I have power, I spend money like water, I am versatile, I am both intelligent and brave, I am handsome and charming, and I can play better after drinking two cups.

When I was a child, my deskmate lent me a video tape. I opened it and said,/kloc-teenagers under 0/8 should watch it with their parents. Then I quickly called my parents. Later, I was black and blue all week.

82. There was a kissing scene on TV. The father asked his son to pour a glass of water. Soon, there was a kissing scene on TV. Dad asked his son to pour another glass of water. The son asked, Dad, are you thirsty at the sight of someone kissing?

83. There is a sentimental buddy. One day, he was lovelorn. A man stood under a tree and said, hey, I'm in a bad mood, and even the air smells bad. . . An old man sweeping the floor behind said, sorry, young man, you stepped on shit!

Qq classic funny talk daquan

1, mom said, the food is cold and put it in the refrigerator to heat it up. 2. What you can't get is not terrible, but what you can't keep is jokes.

The most romantic thing I can think of is watching you grow old alone.

Everyone has a problem. The more I like it, the more I like bullying.

A hunter killed a fox, and then the hunter died. The fox said, ha ha ha, I am a reflection fox.

6. This product in the lower left corner of the computer screen is actually called the beginning, but every time I click it, it seems to be the end.

7. Tanabata, boring? Are you disappointed? Hold a glass of wine and taste a little lonely.

8. Research shows that under any circumstances, the opposite sex deskmates once liked each other.

9. A brother's life. You will win this battle.

10, teacher, don't bother to give me a place, I can talk everywhere.

1 1. You only look thin when I am fat, lest I look ugly when I am thin.

12, all the bad emotions come from exams, gaining weight, lacking money and having no partners.

13, I only love to lose my temper with you, because I subconsciously believe that you will not leave me. Stupidity turned out to be a kind of dependence.

14, who, like me, will suddenly tremble when sleeping at night and feel like falling out of bed.

15. What should I do if I am so angry that I am about to explode? Poke your stomach with a needle and let it pass.

16, the so-called review is to confirm that you can't. Really can't.

17, going out to play with friends, where to go has become the most difficult problem in the world.

18, you are showing off in an ostentatious manner with your sisters. Do you believe me?

19, we live in sewers, and we still have the right to look up at the stars.

20. In the next life, be a national protected animal. At least, someone will care about Tanabata.

2 1. I haven't understood mathematics since I picked up the pen that fell on the ground in the first day of junior high school.

22. Why am I always funny in the eyes of others? Because you don't look like a goddess.

23. Since you are shameless, it is much easier to be a man.

24. If you are bored, you can play with your nose for a while.

25. Dignity is your own business, and others can't give it.

26. There is always an answer to everything. It's better to let nature take its course than to worry about it.

27. Now I feel my heart is free and my body is ready.

I couldn't sleep last night. Count the moon and fall asleep in the middle.

29. In that prosperous era, we were hurt beyond recognition by loneliness.

30. How funny? You think you really know yourself.

3 1, there is no swearing in the world. Do more math problems and you'll have everything.

32. All encounters in the world are reunions after a long separation.

33. You look very creative. A smile made us all lose our heads.

When the whole world doesn't want you, remember that there is still me and I don't want you.

35. I am willing to indulge in learning and fall in love with training at the beginning of school.

I wanted to press you against the wall and kiss you hard, but I didn't expect to bump you into a concussion.

37. Why do people say you are ugly? I am very happy.

38. The teacher said I was a dung churn, so what is my classmate?

39. Ridiculous or ridiculous, it is youth without regrets.

40. I recently read an unforgettable book and benefited a lot. I forgot the title and content.

4 1. You are the biggest pencil case I have ever seen. Aren't you tired of holding so many pens?

42. There is no upper limit for food intake, showing no lower limit; Lazy people who are unsuccessful in socializing expect the peak; People are ugly and control their friends, and they don't like houses. Being single is always melodramatic, without money and willful.

43. The homework has been put in the window, which is open. It's up to you

44. Tanabata is the loneliness of a group of people.

45. After Tanabata, we will have the same chic.

46. The advantage of maturity is that you don't want what you didn't get before.

47. When the tears fell unbridled, I realized that I was nothing.

48. Nine dollars for marriage. Twelve yuan for divorce. Divorce is a fool's business. How expensive!

49. The eyes are the windows of the soul, and the bags under the eyes are the windowsill of the soul.

If there is military training, it will be sunny. If you have a holiday, it will rain. If you do your homework, it's the day before school starts.

5 1, what are you, I don't want you?

52. I feel that every beautiful scenery is telling me: fall in love, fall in love.

I have a dream since I was a child, that is, everyone in China will give me a dollar.

54. I wonder who will be cheaper in the future.

55. I suddenly found myself so powerful. I used to do my homework on paper, but now I do my homework on books.

I want to be like Conan. Wherever I go, there are dead people.

57. You won't laugh over and over again because of the same joke, but why do you cry over and over again because of the same thing?

58. You who are crying, me who is pessimistic and him who is far away can't escape love.

59, who can understand Duan Yu's mood, just like a woman is the illegitimate daughter of his father, as a result, he is not his father's own!

60. Did you treat dichlorvos as cola and let your head drink it at 80 cents and 12 Jin?

6 1, the whole world is sending out the sour taste of love, and only I am sending out the fragrance of single dog.

62, because I have never met, I have never been sad. Never happy.

Now that someone in the class has become a monitor, it doesn't matter what his original name is.

64. You are really a potato. Why? Because you are old and interesting.

65. If the mid-term score slaps you, slap it back at the end of the term.

66. Women's greatest failure is bravery, but men believe it.

67. Some people say that love makes a person humble, and love makes a person lose himself.

68. You always complain that you don't have a talented father, but have you ever thought that your father is also complaining that he doesn't have a son who doesn't live up to expectations?

69. The first one suffers, and the second one suffers.

70. A good man is sleeping with a girl repeatedly for a lifetime.

7 1. I will celebrate my birthday alone, Valentine's Day alone, Children's Day alone, everything alone, and let me pass the exam alone if I have the ability.

72. I like you. It's none of your business. I'll try it if I like it.

73. The biggest failure in my life at present is calling your name.

74. Part I: You are the headmaster, and Part II: I am a teacher. Horizontal batch: two idiots.

75. Every time I quarrel with others, I always feel that I have not played well and want to quarrel.

76. The gray sky is not a sign of rain, but the tranquility of the clear sky.

77, quit pornography, if you are telling me pornographic stories in the future! I'll tell you a more yellow story.

78. What's your favorite portrait? Apple phone! Why? Because love is crazy!

79. Sometimes being fat is also a kind of beauty. At least I am fat but not greasy.

By the third year of high school, the value of our school has fallen by at least half.

8 1, I am not fat, I am swollen because I am allergic to life.

82. Can't you really be intimate? I won't go behind your back again. I want to hold you.

83. Mobile phone, why did it die so fast? Tell me who you're yelling at!

Bear, I have an appointment to be the heroine of your wedding.

85. What you can't say is called worry, and what you can't keep is called story.

86. Only good-looking people are young, and only ugly people get acne.

87. If I can choose my own life in the afterlife, I would like to be a quilt and overwhelm the whole world.

88. Since there are many beautiful women, there are obviously not enough ugly women.

89. When I was a child, I liked to pour water into the bottle cap and drink it. It felt like ancient people drinking water.

Happy Children's Day. Don't overwork yourself.

9 1, except when you have your period, you don't look like a girl.

92. As soon as my girlfriend said she missed me, I knew she was hungry again.

93. Just because you show half your ass doesn't mean you are sexy, it only means that your underwear is small.

An impulsive girl like me should give me a good beating to calm me down.

95. In the teacher's eyes, any question on the paper is given points.

96, comrades. The summer vocation has come to a close. What do you mean by good study? What about a good way to lose weight? What about good study? What if I don't play computer? What did you do?

97. You asked me how much I love you, and I killed you on behalf of the moon.

98. Your past is stored in my mind and accepted silently.

99. Yes, I am like a man, but have you ever thought that I am also a woman among men?

100, no delicate facial features, only an attractive face.

10 1, you can coax me back, not because you are capable, but because I can't bear to part with you.

102, please leave your coquettish charm to Ximen Qing.

103, sometimes busy, busy in a daze.

104. If you step on a banana peel and slip, you must get up and keep stepping on it. If you step on it, it won't slip.

105, the shoe buyer who despised me today, be careful to flash his tongue today.

106, since I can put you on the tip of my heart, I also have the ability to put you on the tip of the knife.

107, seeing you is like seeing small vegetables in the market, with a lot of money.

108, I think the funniest thing is that everyone around you is laughing, but you don't know what they are laughing at!

109, you may not love me or like me, but you can't tease others with the expression I sent you.

1 10 I warn you not to praise my beauty behind my back next time, but to my face if you dare.