"My daughter is terrible!" When a child cries and loses his temper, his parents' behavior determines his life.

For a while, I suddenly found that my daughter seemed to be a different person.

She must go east, but she must go west. Let her do something. As long as she has her own ideas, she will definitely ignore my instructions.

Patiently reason with her, but she just won't listen.

Once I picked her up from work and went to the kitchen to cook a bunch of dishes, but she asked me to play with her ... She said it would be fun in five minutes, and she asked for unlimited time.

At the end of dinner, I went straight into the kitchen and left her alone. She began to cry.

I was angry, too, so I closed the kitchen door and left her crying in the living room.

This wrestling between mother and daughter is enough to make me miserable.

Especially when I don't control my emotions and yell at her, I will definitely regret it afterwards (even write a small composition and silently repent).

Later, after my daughter fell asleep, I looked through my circle of friends and saw that a colleague was also "spitting" that children like to cry.

There is a feeling of finding a confidant in an instant!

Two mothers who are still surfing late at night are troubled by their children's noisy behavior.

You hold me back and forth, and gradually realize the difficulties of children.

Some people say that raising a child is like the process of upgrading and fighting monsters. Parents should not only constantly improve their strength, but also try their best to find out their children's habits.

Frankly speaking, before raising children, I think long-term exposure to a lot of parenting knowledge should help me become a good mother.

Who knows, only with theoretical knowledge and no practical experience, it is difficult to understand the mystery of raising a baby.

It doesn't help to always fall into self-guilt, distress and entanglement.

Let's think about why the child is crying.

There are no natural beasts, only "animal trainers" who misread children and did not adjust their education methods in time.

The child's "crying" is not simple at all.

I especially like watching a program-Super Parenting Teacher.

Teacher Lan Hai is like an angel, bringing hope to many families with parenting problems.

The most common situation is that children are always crying and parents are helpless.

Qiang Qiang is usually a cute and clever child, but he always likes to make a hullabaloo about when he cries. He began to lose his temper when his parents didn't follow his wishes or couldn't guess his mind.

Not only will you kick the floor, but you will also abuse yourself and scratch your face with your own hands, leaving scars on your face.

People don't know what disease he has. They think he is willful and bad-tempered, and deliberately opposes adults.

So every time I can't stop crying, my parents try to drown him with a higher volume, or even stop him with brute force.

The more we stop it, the worse it gets.

The whole family, in extreme chaos.

This reminds me of many moments when I confronted my children. I hope my children can be sensible and worry less about themselves. In a hurry, I will also make a hullabaloo about to scare the children.

Doing so may stop the child for a while, but it is not a stopgap measure.

On the one hand, children are emotionally attacked by their parents' words or bodies; On the other hand, parents will find it really tiring to raise children.

Whenever this happens, a sentence said by teacher Fan Deng will come to my mind: "If you are always tired of raising children, it means that the method is wrong."

Come to think of it carefully, isn't it because children are too young to express their feelings in appropriate language like adults?

Wang Xiaobo said: "All human sufferings are essentially anger at their incompetence."

So are children.

His emotions, limited by limited cognition, can only be vented in a simple and rude way. In fact, children are particularly helpless.

When the closest and most trusted people around him treat him with incomprehension, his inner grievances are on the verge.

Once, I was also worried: if I compromised or tolerated my daughter's temper and cried blindly, would the situation get worse?

Facts have proved that even if a child "threatens" his parents by crying, it is not the child who is responsible, but the parents who are responsible.

Looking back, is this scene deja vu-

Taking the children shopping, the children clamored to buy a toy. We explained that we didn't want to buy it. There are many at home. But the child disagreed and instinctively began to cry.

At this time, passers-by around looked askance. In order to escape this embarrassing scene quickly, most of us agreed to buy it. There are also parents who will resolutely disagree regardless of their children's face.

The first way will make children constantly challenge their parents' bottom line; The second approach seems to be very principled, but it is still appropriate in public.

Not long ago, there was a video on the Internet that was very popular.

In the video, a child is crying on the ground, but his parents are not far away, holding their arms and looking at him coldly, regardless.

This gesture has won praise from the whole network.

But in my opinion, the child is quite pitiful.

I don't know what he did. He collapsed to the ground and his parents didn't give any help or comfort. At that moment, he should be desperate, right

Children will not think from the perspective of their parents, but will only feel that they are the opposite of their parents and have been "abandoned".

If he is treated like this for a long time, it is difficult for him to establish enough sense of security with his parents.

I obviously needed my parents' help, but I was completely ignored.

Who can reverse this power relationship?

After all, only parents.

We really shouldn't think too badly of children. In his world, crying is not a means of "threatening", but a way to communicate with parents.

If you don't understand this, children will only become more and more "difficult to manage".

Because he is not understood, there is only an escalating wayward way to attract parents' attention.

This kind of interaction is not conducive to the normal development of parent-child relationship.

So, what should we do to deal with children's "crying"?

It is worth noting that no matter how "terrible" the child is, all his reactions are to express his emotions.

Smart parents will not choose to satisfy their children's desires and needs in order to avoid conflicts, nor will they yell at their children to shut up, but will deal with their emotional problems with affection.

Share a treatment that I think I did well.

At that time, my daughter was restless and always shouted hot and wanted to take off her clothes. The temperature in the bedroom is obviously low, so it is easy to catch cold when you take off your clothes. So neither my husband nor I agree.

The daughter's request was stopped and she began to cry.

Mr. Wang was sleepy that night, too. As soon as his daughter cried, he casually said, "You will be punished if you cry again." This sentence made my daughter cry even more.

At that time, I was actually a little emotional, but I thought that the child had been crying too much recently, and I didn't want to stimulate her any more. I took a deep breath and got up and hugged my daughter.

Hug and comfort her: "Mom knows that you are very hot now and you really want to take off your clothes, right?"

The daughter cried and said "yes".

Then I said, "Mom also knows that heat is a very uncomfortable thing. You see, mom is a little spicy, too. Why don't we put on thinner clothes together? "

Unexpectedly, my daughter agreed.

* * * After feeling her feelings, I offered limited choices and successfully handled a crisis that might become more serious.

To do a good job in family work, my experience is that we must consider the situation and feelings of our children at the moment, let go of our inner prejudice and communicate with them sincerely.

When the child is not so resistant after being understood, we can offer him options instead of asking him "What do you want?"

After all, what children want to do does not meet some of our principles and expectations, but they can be free to choose under the premise of protection.

Once a child thinks he has a choice, the problem will be much easier to solve.

Think about it, it's really not easy to be a parent.

I was an angel baby when I was a child, and I always felt that having him was the greatest luck in my life.

When he begins to have self-awareness and will confront us, he will certainly feel great discomfort.

But this is where we will continue to grow.

We should not flaunt ourselves as parents, but lower our profile and explore how to get along better with our children.

When children lose their temper or cry, it is our best chance to grow up.

Maybe you can't do it well at once, but you can keep practicing.

I believe that if we kneel down to see the world in children's eyes and accompany them with enough understanding and respect, children will be able to successfully pass every level and eventually grow up smoothly.

* * * Encourage.

I am my mother, a novice mother. I like to explore the world and have everything. I like to be a programmer in my spare time. May the rest of my life be the greatest pride of children!