The sadness and loneliness of renting a house alone?

The sadness and loneliness of renting a house alone

1. I am old and single. I sit alone in my rented room after work every day, smoking a cigarette and feeling like an orphan. Sometimes I wonder whether the world abandoned me or I abandoned the world. Dare not sleep on weekend afternoons. Woke up at five or six o'clock, endless loneliness poured in and went deep into the bone marrow. I feel depressed, want to cry, and feel that the whole world has abandoned me. Sometimes I really envy others, and their families are very happy. ...

2. How do you feel? I'm not downtown. I have to take a long trip by car. I can only sleep dizzy at home on weekends. I don't turn on the light when I come back from work every day. I just sit for a while, start washing, then brush my cell phone and go to bed. Cooking does not exist. Once I caught a bad cold and stayed at home for three days. Nobody knows. Now, I wake up and look at the sunshine outside the window, and then play with my mobile phone until it gets dark. Actually, I feel bored, but I can't find anyone to talk to.

I used to think it was nice to be alone, but now I think it's ridiculous. I want to go for a walk, but I don't know where to go. There is no one to chat with you and no one to go shopping with you.

4. I have acute gastroenteritis, and I am kneeling in the bathroom with my stomach gnashed. Then he climbed out of the living room to get water to drink, and passed out in pain. I got up the next morning, and my whole hair and clothes were soaked with sweat. If you go to the hospital alone, because you live alone and are single, there is nothing you can't stick to.

Being alone is not terrible. The terrible thing is that two people are alone, or lonely. My husband doesn't love me. I've always felt lonely. I had a nightmare yesterday and woke up at a loss. The people around me are not worth relying on, which makes me full of fear for tomorrow and makes me have no courage to face life.