I am very obedient. Tell me.

1. My parents really think I'm lazy and don't like going out. If I have money, you can't even meet my people. When I was a child, my mother and I went to the tailor's shop together. My mother pointed to the electric iron and said, this thing is very hot. Don't touch it! I am very obedient. I didn't touch it. I licked it. That feeling is more exciting than licking the iron railing of Arctic Village in Mohe, Heilongjiang in winter! I might as well wait for my croak. 4. Last night, I finally got my wife to agree, turned off the light, tore off the condom, made a hand, turned on the light and looked at it, which was convenient for the noodle sauce package! W: Tomorrow is the end of the world! Man: I bought a ticket! W: How many people? Man: Two! Woman: You still have a conscience! Man: One is leaving and the other is coming back! 6. I still remember when I went to the cinema to see Titanic, the little brother next to me cried and said, It's too bad. Too bad for heterosexuals. 7. I took a taxi today and sat outside the window all the way. After a while, the driver said, hey, you must be a literate person, right? I said, how can I say this? He said: nowadays, young people have to stare at their mobile phones all the time. I said, master, I just dropped my mobile phone in the toilet. Then we didn't talk all the way, and I continued to watch the scenery. 8. I heard two classmates chatting in the elevator today! One said: the final exam is coming! Sven, who wears glasses next to him, went on to say, it's time to raise your hand, or those teachers will think how well they teach! 9. At the beginning of the new semester, the geography teacher smiled and walked onto the platform and said, I'm Li Jianmin. Everyone knows Li Shimin, the emperor of the Tang Dynasty, right? I don't know him. He can be emperor, but I can't. It can be said that the difference between a word, eternal hate. Li Shimin spilled blood in Xuanwu Gate and killed his own brother. He doesn't talk about justice at all. He doesn't speak justice, and neither do I. Speaking of geography, I was stunned by this new teacher! ! ! 10. I'm going back to kindergarten to be the principal. 1 1. If my friend betrayed me, I hope it was because of my weight. 12. I'm going to bed = I'm going to lie in bed and play with my mobile phone. I want to get up = I want to sit on the toilet and play with my mobile phone. 13. One day, a family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only one son inside. Mother shouted nervously outside the house, son, what are you doing? It's all on fire. It still won't come out. The son replied, I'm wearing socks! Mom added: What socks to wear in case of fire? After five minutes, my son hasn't come out yet. Mother shouted nervously again, Son, what are you doing? Come out, it's on fire. Stay inside. The son said, I'm taking off my socks! 14. After eating wonton, you may be too hungry, but you are not full. When you get home, you change your clothes and go to eat. The proprietress said, young man, eat more if you don't have enough. You don't have to go back and change. You always knew you. 15. My sister came back to the dormitory drunk and pointed to her roommate and said, why are you so ugly? ! My roommate looked angry, and my sister quickly changed her mind and said that she was catching up with me! 16. On the first day of work, the new colleagues didn't know that the company had the practice of handing out fruit after meals. Seeing fruit on the table, he asked me: Why did you give me fruit? I joked: because you are handsome. He looked at me and said, how could you have? 17. My best friend asked me to do him a favor. He wanted to refuse a girl's pursuit, let me pretend to be her boyfriend, and then said I was gay friends, so that the girl wouldn't give up. As a result, she didn't believe us and wouldn't give up until we kissed in front of her. As a result, in order to round up this lie, I kissed my buddy. That night, I received two messages from that buddy: First, thank you for your idea. I finally. The second article was sent wrong. 18. I was naughty when I was a child and was beaten by my father countless times. Once I get into trouble again, I think I must be beaten. Only a note was left: I'm leaving, don't look for me. After shopping for a long time, I had nowhere to go and went home in frustration. When my parents were away, I hid in the closet and fell asleep unconsciously. When I woke up, I heard my mother crying: I told you to stop fighting, but you didn't listen. What should I do now? My dad also sighed: well, look for it first, and never call again. I was relieved and hurried out of the closet. My parents called in turn that night ~ 19. My boyfriend likes to fry steak at home every time. Once I heard a banging sound in the kitchen. I went in and saw my boyfriend cut the meat into pieces and pat it on the chopping board. I asked him: Why did you shoot like this? Boyfriend said: Are you stupid? I don't know if the meat will get bigger when it is swollen! 20. Today, I waited in the waiting room of the railway station. A buddy next to me sleeps with a big bag. He suddenly woke up, turned over and said, lie down! It was stolen again! Then I got up silently and walked to a trash can not far away. I searched for a while and came back silently with my wallet. Dude, how many times have you been stolen? All the experience has been stolen! 2 1. I 18 years old, drive a Mercedes-Benz c63, and have a full house in the Third Ring Road in Beijing and Nanshan in Shenzhen. I don't depend on my parents or friends. These are all popular classic sentences in Weibo. If life betrays me, I hope it will be sold by weight.

1. There are always several grandfathers every month. His face changed from red to green, from green to yellow, to blue, to purple, to green, and finally he left me.

You are so old that you have mastered a specialty without learning other skills. You can sleep well without sleeping pills during the day and get excited without stimulants at night.

Don't sing for the rest of your life. Girls don't work hard to make money and don't want to be beautiful. For the rest of your life, you cook, you do laundry, you do housework, you are rejected, and your children are still you.

It is true that crying children have candy to eat. Some people pick up road idiots, some send cowards, and some do not know how to cook. Blx found a shoulder to lean on. On the contrary, you can do anything and do everything by yourself, so you have to be single until now.

I know you won't come with me if I reach out, so I reach out and trip you, and you really stand up and chase me. So I have to admit: since ancient times, we can't be merciful, and we always win people's hearts.

6. I am a white-collar worker. Today, I got paid, paid the rent, water and electricity, bought instant noodles with oil and rice, touched my pocket, and lamented that my salary was white-collar again this month.

7. I don't know where I come from. I don't study hard and do nothing all day, but I always feel that I will make a lot of money one day. This feeling is extremely strong.

8. I found that myopia has become more and more serious recently, and I can't see money when I open my wallet!

9. Every time you are mean to me, I think there is something wrong with you. I'm so cute, you can lose your temper and be speechless!

10, if you want to be with me, please tidy up the relationships around you first, and don't make me jealous, because I'm too lazy to argue with them and tell you.

1 1, in fact, it's not that I don't want to fall in love, but that I don't agree with my own eyes. There is no upper limit for my food intake, but there is no lower limit for my grades. People are ugly, and my friends prefer to stay at home. When you are single, you are always sentimental, and when you have no money, you are willful.

12, I hope you understand that I am open-minded about everything, but this does not affect my grudges.

If it makes people sad, the falling tears easily betray my soul.

First, how deep love, how helpless, how desperate.

Second,? Can you not love? , but can't be ignored? .

What would my life be like without you? I can't imagine.

Fourth, we said that we should have a good sleep and don't separate our hands.

5. Is love really that simple? As long as two people are together, they can get happiness.

6. You don't know what I think. It doesn't matter that you will always be.

Seven, the music box of memory rotates and pours out sadness.

Thank you for giving me irreplaceable pain.

Nine, accompanied by emptiness and loneliness, I walked silently.

You are my angel, if I ignore your disdain for me.

Like a long illness, people are lazy.

How can I forget that we are no longer us?

Thirteen, love finally failed to stand the test and quietly left.

Fourteen, youth, let us learn to be sad, learn to be brave, and learn to smile.

Fifteen, every kind of trauma is a kind of maturity.

Sixteen, after the sweetness, there will always be only deep bitterness.

Seventeen, memories are beautiful, as long as you can let go of the past.

Eighteen years old, even though we will be apart, the memory will never fade.

Nineteen, a person walks too much and tears keep turning.

At the age of twenty, who left me with humble promises and unbridled loneliness?

21. Through the lens, we can clearly see the world's 1.

You will always have a regret for what you have done.

Twenty-three, we are intersecting lines, only parting and missing after meeting.

24. Every time I change your information, I will ponder it many times, although it is clear that it is not me.

Twenty-five, I can't, how can I admit that you are the one I shouldn't love?

Twenty-six, easy to cry betrayed my soul.

Time always flies so fast that people have no time to remember what happened.

Twenty-eight years old, my feelings have recovered, and it is still so beautiful.

Twenty-nine, you have hinted at the prelude to parting. Let me make up my mind to speak first and let go first.

Thirty, don't expect your love, just wait for your greeting.

20 19 Sexspace, I hope someone will tell me.

1. Some things are beyond our control, so we must control ourselves.

If your choice is the end of hell, I am willing to fall with you.

3, moving is not necessarily love, but the emotion that is not moved is nothing!

4. The most painful thing in life is that you know you are going to lose, but it hasn't happened yet.

No matter what happens in the future, I will never let go of your clenched hand again.

6, a wait, in exchange for a promise, a promise, a paper crane to keep an appointment.

7. Dark clouds, dense rain, rainbows and lightning are just like our beautiful accidents.

8. Missing someone is like drinking a glass of cold water, and then dripping into tears.

Fuck you. Do you know how brave I am to love you?

10, you know you need to let go but you can't, because you are still waiting for the impossible to happen. This feeling is really hard.

1 1, choose the person who makes you happy, and take a good life path, not the person you want to please hard.

12, before love begins, you can never imagine loving someone like that.

13, people are naturally full of anxiety about the world. They are full of anxiety about the world because they can't see through a person's heart.

14, you said you would accompany me to that day, little husband, I love you.

15, the fool who is willing to stay and waste time with you is true, and the fool who is willing to waste his expression and quarrel with you really loves you!

16, love is not nostalgia, not enthusiasm, but years, and years have become a part of life.

17, without free love, you will die slowly and naturally.

18, the person who cares most, values most, is the most special person and cherishes most is you.

19, if happiness is not difficult. I'd rather suffer myself.

20. Sad love songs are repeated on demand, and my tired heart is bound. I want to live alone in the future.

2 1, nothing is eternal, and nothing is long. Make an excuse, anyone can go first.

22. You don't know what it's like to give up but still love.

23. Where there is love in the heart, there is fire in the chest.

24, listen to me, why do you ask so many questions, I am by your side, you are still going the wrong way!

25. Shake hands with handsome men, talk with profound men, communicate with successful men and live with ordinary men.

26. My birthday wish is to be a doll on your bed. May you hold me to sleep every night.

If you want to play with me, don't blame me for playing with you.

28. I love you and just want to scream your name hysterically.

29. Every autumn, it seals up sadness, collects memories, sets out and goes to dreams.

30. My tears are shed for you, but I have set up a beautiful flower umbrella for you in my heart.

3 1, love exists in the desire to give, and regards the happiness of the lover as your own happiness.

When a woman is looking at the sky, she doesn't want to look for anything, she is just lonely.

33. In the future, what you put in your heart, what you hold in your arms, and what you press on your body are all me.

34. Love is the conquest of two people, and only conquest can maintain long-term love.

Don't always wait. Life is not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

36. Nima, you are mine, and you will never run away.

37. Love is a multiple-choice question and must be chosen. Sometimes having no choice is also a choice.

Love is hard to put in, but once put in, it is even harder to get out?

39. It's really ridiculous that you can't even give your heart in love.

40. I need time. Please give me time to love you.

4 1, a person's small life, a person's carelessness, a person's good mood.

42. I thought only people in love would become fools. It turns out that unrequited love will be more stupid.

43. Hold your hand and take your son. Hold your hand and sleep with your son. Hold your hand and grow old with your son. Holding your hand, what can my husband ask for?

44. If you love, you don't have to say you're sorry. If you complain, you are willing.

45. The pure white of the stars is still beautiful even if it is contaminated. The stars on the horizon will eventually slide down the sky.

46. I said long live being single, but I will remain silent when I see the happiness of two people.

47. When a woman falls in love with a man, she will never see his shortcomings.

48. Don't possess me and love you, so you can hurt me coldly.

I am an idiot, but please believe me, I didn't mean to. Can You Ever Forgive Me? Honey.

I want to lie with you like this. From the prime of life, I will die in the blink of an eye, very happy.

5 1, it turns out that there are some feelings. There will still be time to take a loophole and squeeze back into strangers.

52. I can't think of an excuse to save it, and I can't find a reason to stay.

I hate it when you talk to me casually after a quarrel.

54. When I grow up, this society has taught me that there is no heart, no feelings, no itching, no pain and no concern.

I lost too much, but I also lost you in the end.

56. In my eyes, there is a story that belongs to us.

57. In fact, you still love him, and you are not good at all.

58. If loving you was a mistake from the beginning, then I want to make a mistake again.

59. There are always moments when you have to hide your thoughts. The most unbearable things in life are always hidden deepest and most closely.

60. Willing to be a prisoner of your love.

6 1, women refuse love with friendship. Men exchange friendship for love.

62. I don't lose my temper, but I don't lose my temper easily; Not that I don't love you, but in my heart.

63. If love is a rag doll with daily necessities, it will go away happily, and you are my secret of disrepair.

64. How beautiful love is, but it is fragile. How beautiful love is, but fragile.

65. I don't want to sleep when I miss you, and I don't want to wake up when I dream about you. To tell you the truth, I miss you very much, but I don't want to disturb you.

66. The most romantic and selfish words in the world are: You are mine alone.

67. We are just two sides of the same paper. How can we separate?

68, you don't look for me, I don't look for you, what is our relationship now.

69. Everything can be cured, except love.

70. Fear of love is not nothing. It is derived from me, so I have to believe it for no reason.

7 1. People who live in hope can dance without music.

72. You must have hired a very good lawyer to live in my heart. He made a perfect defense for every mistake you made.

We are not really afraid of losing, but we are afraid that there is no better substitute.

74. If memory is a square city, then, for you, I would like to draw a prison and trap myself in it.

75. There is no comfort. No greetings. I always swim alone.

76. I met you at the age of 60, but I also lost the color of the flowers.

77. Feelings are at stake, and distrust between two people is the absolute ending.

78. Choosing a lover doesn't need too many criteria, as long as there are three points: I don't lie to you, I don't hurt you, and I am willing to accompany you.

79. Pretend to be struck by lightning, from scratch.

80. If I was important, how could you forget?

8 1, I hope someone will tell me that sometimes thinking about me will make him feel bad.

82. I don't need to be wronged to please anyone, and I'm not that great.

83. Every story will end, but in life, the end of every story is also a new beginning.