Tips for talking among friends: remembering other people’s names

Tip of speaking between friends: Remember other people’s names

The famous success master Carnegie once said: A person’s name is his most familiar, sweetest and most wonderful thing. Ineffable sounds. The most obvious, simplest, most important, and best way to gain favor in communication is to remember people's names.

If you want to be successful in interpersonal communication, then put more effort into remembering other people's names! In this way, all you do is remember a name, but it makes the other person feel respected, and at the same time you win the favor of others. There seems to be nothing cheaper in the world than this.

One sentence to make people laugh

Jim Fred was born in a poor family. When he was just 10 years old, his father passed away early, leaving only a weak body. mother and young him. In order to make a living, Jim had to drop out of school early to work in a brick factory. Although he had limited academic qualifications, he was popular everywhere with his enthusiasm and frankness, and later entered the political arena.

When he was in his 40s, four universities had awarded him honorary degrees. He also held important positions in the Democratic Party and later served as the postal minister.

Once, a reporter asked him about the secret of success. He said: Hard work, it’s that simple.

The reporter was obviously not satisfied with this answer: No, this is not the answer I want.

He asked: What do you think is the reason for my success?

Reporter said: I heard that you can call out the names of 10,000 friends verbatim?

No, you are wrong! He immediately replied: I can name at least 50,000 people accurately. Moreover, when I meet them again years later, I will still call them by name, greet their wives, children, and chat about various things related to their work and political stance.

Speaking of Jim’s amazing and strange ability, there is also a widely circulated anecdote: when Roosevelt was running for president, Jim took the trouble to take the train to and from the Midwestern states, cordially He held greetings, conversations, rallies, and dinners with local people, promoted Roosevelt's political views, and strongly supported Roosevelt's campaign.

After returning to the East Coast, he immediately wrote to friends in every town, asking them to help list the names and contact information of all participants, and finally wrote to each person one by one. And he always addressed each other by their first names at the beginning of his letters.

Because Jim found that no matter how many names appeared in front of a person, the one he was most interested in was his own name. Remembering other people's names and calling them out accurately is a sign of respect and kindness for anyone.

Remembering a person's name is the beginning of respecting the other person, and it is also a shortcut to improving your personal charm.

One sentence makes people jump.

Wang Fang felt that the other person looked familiar, but he couldn’t remember where he had met him. He only remembered that his surname was Zhang, so he blurted out: See you. I'm so happy for you, Miss Zhang.

The other party looked confused: Miss Zhang, my surname is Wan!

Wang Fang knew that she had misremembered the other party's name, and looked embarrassed.

Remembering other people’s names reflects the importance you attach to others, and it is also a kind of respect for others. If you are talking to others and they are very familiar with you and enthusiastic, but you cannot call them by their names, you can only say "hey" or "you" instead, or you say the wrong names, this situation will not only make you You will be embarrassed and let others down.

Action Guide

In interpersonal communication, when you meet someone you have dealt with before, if the other person can call you by name, you will definitely feel very cordial. , a good impression of the other party will arise spontaneously; and if the other party only feels familiar and asks you for your name again, both parties will definitely feel very embarrassed, and the cordial and pleasant atmosphere will be wiped out.

U.S. President Roosevelt was a good communicator. Before he was elected president, at a banquet, he found out the names of some people he wanted to know, and then took the initiative to call them by name. Those who already had admiration for Roosevelt saw that Roosevelt could even call him by his own name, so they quickly regarded him as a close friend and became powerful supporters of Roosevelt in subsequent elections.

Xiao Li came to Guangzhou and opened a community fast food restaurant. The business has always been very good. People nearby like to go to Xiao Li's place to eat, even if they have to wait for a long time. There is also a Jessica's fast food restaurant in the community, and the fast food tastes pretty good, but why do people want to come here? The reason is simple. Xiao Li can always call everyone's name accurately. She knows who likes to add more chili, who likes to eat saltier, and who likes to eat sweet. She made everyone feel like they were unique in the world.

Some excellent salespeople, even if they have only met once and only talked for two or three minutes, can still call the other person's name correctly when they meet again in the future, and the other party will be moved. . It's no surprise that such salespeople have a good track record.

Being good at remembering other people’s names is both a courtesy and an emotional investment, which can often produce unexpected results. In the lobby of a hotel, a guest came to the service desk to check in. Before the guest could speak, the service lady said: Sir, welcome to come again. I hope you will enjoy your stay here. The guest was very surprised after hearing this and showed a look of joy, because he had only stayed here once two years ago. The guest felt greatly respected and developed a favorable impression of the waitress and, by extension, the hotel where she worked. Tips for talking between friends: Saying nice things about friends behind their backs

Tips for talking between friends: Saying nice things about friends behind their backs

Praise is a kind of knowledge with endless mysteries, but The most effective compliment is to praise the other person behind their back. This will make the person involved think that it is an unabashed and heartfelt compliment, so they will sincerely accept it and have a better impression of you.

One sentence to make people laugh

When chatting with another friend of Zhang Qiang, one of Zhang Qiang’s friends said a few good words to him by the way: Zhang Qiang is a very good person, very good. He's such a buddy, you're lucky to be friends with him. Unexpectedly, these words reached Zhang Qiang’s ears very quickly, which inevitably made Zhang Qiang feel gratified and moved. At the same time, the image of the friend who said good things to Zhang Qiang was greatly improved.

． Originally, the friend who said good things had a similar relationship with Zhang Qiang, but after hearing the good words, Zhang Qiang took the initiative to strengthen contact and interaction with the other person, and the friendship between the two became increasingly profound.

If you say nice things about your friends behind their back, your friends will think that you mean it from the bottom of your heart and have no bad intentions.

Saying good things behind a friend’s back can also make the friend being spoken to feel the truth and sincerity of the praise more strongly after hearing the good words spread by others, and his sense of honor will be satisfied. At the same time, they will trust you more. Zhang Qiang's friends said good things about Zhang Qiang behind his back, which made Zhang Qiang more fond of him and took the initiative to interact with him more.

One sentence makes people jump

Xiaoyi and Lin Lin had conflicts over some things, so they both went to Xiaoguang to talk to each other.

In order not to offend anyone in person, Xiao Guang said in front of Xiao Yi: Lin Lin really doesn’t understand anything, and many things are his fault. And when Lin Lin came to find him When complaining, he said it was all Xiao Yi's fault: I said Lin Lin, can you not be as knowledgeable as Xiao Yi? That person is stingy and unloyal!

He felt that Xiaoyi and Linlin were incompatible anyway, so he just said what he said.

Later, after some friends' persuasion, the conflict between Xiaoyi and Lin Lin was resolved, and the two reconciled as before.

This was a bitter experience for Xiao Guang, because both Xiao Yi and Lin Lin told each other what Xiao Guang said, making him a different person inside and outside, and his situation in the circle of friends was very embarrassing.

As the saying goes, walls have ears. If you say bad things about others behind their back, one day it will reach their ears. Therefore, never speak ill of others behind their backs at any time. Even if your other friends have taken the initiative, you cannot pick up the conversation.

People who often speak ill of others behind their backs will definitely not be popular, because anyone with some brains will naturally think like this: This time you speak ill of others in front of me, next time This time you may speak ill of me in front of others. In this way, his impression in the minds of others cannot be much better.

Action Guide

Everyone likes to hear good things, this is almost the only human nature. However, saying nice things behind someone’s back is more effective than saying nice things to someone’s face. This is because people generally believe that when you say good things about others in person, there are more compliments or flattery elements, and it is not a sincere expression; while saying good things about a person behind his back is usually considered to be revealing the truth, so it can arouse The person concerned will pay attention to you, thereby gaining your affection and developing a good impression of you.

There is this passage in "A Dream of Red Mansions":

Shi Xiangyun and Xue Baochai persuaded Jia Baoyu to become an official. Jia Baoyu felt very angry and disgusted, and expressed in front of Shi Xiangyun and Xue Baochai: Miss Lin has never said these words to me. You should learn from Miss Lin!

It happened that Daiyu was coming to the window at this time, and she overheard Jia Baoyu saying good things about herself, and felt very happy. Later, Jia Baoyu and Lin Daiyu expressed their feelings to each other, and their feelings for each other greatly increased.

In Lin Daiyu's view, Jia Baoyu's praise of herself in front of Xiangyun and Baochai was completely true from the heart. And if Jia Baoyu said this in front of Lin Daiyu, the effect might be greatly reduced. This is the beauty of complimenting others behind their backs. The same sentence, said in another context, has a completely different effect.

Saying nice things about people behind their back can greatly demonstrate your broadmindedness and sincerity, and can also serve as a way to supervise and alert the other person, killing two birds with one stone.

Why do compliments heard indirectly sound particularly pleasant to the ear? That's because you firmly believe that the other person is sincerely complimenting you. Just imagine, if someone told you that so-and-so said many nice things about you behind your back, would you be unhappy? This kind of compliment, if spoken to you in front of you, may be counterproductive and make you feel that this person is extremely hypocritical and that his words are not sincere.

Rumors often spread behind people’s backs. If you know how to replace words of right and wrong with endless praise, then there will be more laughter and friendship around you. Skills for talking between friends: Creating a harmonious atmosphere at banquets

Skills for talking among friends: Creating a harmonious atmosphere at banquets

Chinese people like to discuss various matters during banquets Official and private matters, but sometimes it is possible that one or two inappropriate words said during the banquet may lead to an unhappy separation between the host and the guest. Therefore, it is very important to create a harmonious atmosphere at the dinner table and enhance the emotional communication between host and guest. Drinking and entertaining is not just about everyone sitting together and having a meal. Especially when inviting people to dinner, the food is secondary, and hospitality with decent language is more effective than good wine and good food.

One sentence to make people laugh

Zhang Wei wanted to ask his friend Wang Hai for help. On Sunday, Zhang Wei called Wang Hai and offered to treat him to dinner.

After booking the banquet, Zhang Wei drove to his home to pick up Wang Hai. At that time, Wang Hai's father, Uncle Wang, was also at home with his 3-year-old grandson Xiaobao.

After receiving Wang Hai, Zhang Wei saw that Uncle Wang was holding his grandson Xiaobao and wanted to follow him out, so he greeted him warmly and said: Uncle, you and Xiaobao can go together and have a casual meal.

Uncle Wang smiled and declined: You're welcome, you go and eat, we won't go!

Zhang Wei took Xiaobao over, supported Uncle Wang and said, "Let's go, you are the elder, it's the right thing to ask you."

Uncle Wang happily agreed.

Everyone was very happy during the meal. Zhang Wei asked Wang Hai for help at the banquet, and Wang Hai readily agreed.

No one does not value their own family. If you can consider the other person’s family when you treat them, and invite the other person’s whole family when necessary, this will not only reflect the importance you attach to the guest, but also The atmosphere during the banquet will definitely be more pleasant and harmonious.

One sentence makes people jump.

Beilin entertained friends in a big hotel.

When the waiter brought the menu, Beilin took one look at the menu, turned to the waiter and said: Why are your dishes so expensive? Is it worth the money?

The waiter explained to him with a smile.

Beilin then said: Well, let’s see if it’s really what you said, otherwise I won’t pay! Later, Beilin looked distressed and asked the guest to order. The guest looked slightly unhappy and just ordered a very cheap dish.

After ordering, the waiter asked: Do you two want anything to drink?

Beilin looked at the drink price list and hesitated. Before he could speak, the guest saw what he was thinking and said meaningfully: Forget it, stop drinking, the drinks are so expensive!

When Beilin heard this, he immediately smiled like a flower and said: In fact, the price of drinks is not bad, and it is similar to other hotels. But wine is too harmful to the body and drinks are unhealthy, so just drink boiled water. Just like that, a meal that was meant to be a treat for friends turned out to be very depressing for the guests.

When treating guests, if you show that you are very concerned about the price, the effect of the treat will be greatly reduced.

Action Guide

Socializing is indispensable, and socializing is indispensable without banquets. Communication at a banquet is an important way to communicate emotions and exchange opinions with others. Therefore, it is very important to ensure a happy atmosphere at the banquet. So, how to create a harmonious atmosphere at a banquet?

(1) Ordering should be moderate and reasonable. If time permits, you should wait until the guests have arrived, circulate the menu to the guests, and ask them to order. Of course, some banquets require budget control. At this time, the most important thing is to do more homework before the meal, including choosing a suitable banquet venue, so that the guests can fully understand your budget. If your boss is also at the banquet, do not let him order food because you respect him or think that he has rich social experience and eats a lot at the banquet, unless he takes the initiative. Otherwise, he will feel unworthy.

If you are a dinner party, you should not be too proactive when ordering, but let the host take the order. If the other party asks kindly, you can order a dish that is not too expensive and not everyone's taboo. Remember to ask the opinions of the people at the table, especially if there is anything that everyone at the table will not eat. Or what do you like to eat more? , making everyone feel taken care of. After ordering, you can ask me if the food I ordered is to everyone's taste, if you want to order something else, etc.

When ordering, be sure to know what to expect. Generally speaking, you can order according to the following two rules: order one dish per person, and if there are more men, you can increase the amount appropriately; the dishes should be meat and vegetable, cold and hot, and try to be as comprehensive as possible.

In addition, ordering should also be based on the importance of the banquet. If it is an ordinary banquet, it can be a little more casual. If the object of the banquet is a relatively important person, then order a few dishes of sufficient portion.

One thing to note is that when ordering, you should not ask the waiter for the price of the dishes or bargain with them. This will make you look a bit petty in front of the guests, and the guests will also feel uncomfortable.

(2) Master the topic. Almost every banquet will have a theme, which is the purpose of hosting the banquet. During the banquet, you should look around at the guests present and distinguish the priorities. Don’t just immerse yourself in drinking and ignore some important etiquette, and don’t be influenced by some drunkards who make trouble out of nothing.

(3) You must understand the knowledge of toasting. Toasting is a science. Under normal circumstances, toasts should be made in order of age, position, and identity of guest and host. Before toasting, you must fully consider the order of toasts and distinguish priorities. Even if you are drinking with someone you are not familiar with, you should first inquire about their identity or pay attention to how others address you. This should be known to avoid embarrassing or hurtful situations.

If you need something from a certain guest, you should naturally be more respectful to him. However, be aware that if there are higher-status or older people present, you should not only treat those who can help you. Respectfully, you should toast to the elder first, otherwise it will make everyone embarrassed.

If no special person is present, it is best to toast one by one in clockwise order without jumping.

(4) We must observe six directions with our eyes and listen to all directions. People who participate in banquets are generally very purposeful. To put it bluntly, they all have their own agenda. If you want to be recognized by everyone at the banquet and greet everyone present satisfactorily and thoughtfully, you must learn to observe words and emotions and understand other people's psychology. That is to say, you must watch all directions and listen to all directions. Only in this way can you achieve your goals. .

Since there are usually many people at the wine table, when choosing a topic, you should try to choose something that is popular and can be recognized by most people. Don't stick to a topic just because you like it, regardless of whether others are interested, and don't choose a topic that's too biased to avoid deviating from the theme of the banquet.

The most taboo thing at a banquet is whispering to others. This will silently neglect others and affect the atmosphere of the banquet.

(5) The language must be appropriate and humorous. A person's conversational skills are best displayed during a banquet. Sometimes a witty and humorous sentence can win everyone's favor, create a relaxed and pleasant banquet atmosphere, and at the same time improve your image in the minds of others. So, knowing when to say what to say is already great, and having a bit of witty humor is the icing on the cake.

(6) Don’t force drinking in moderation. In a banquet, it is indispensable to persuade people to drink and toast, but the method of persuading and toasting must also be done in a good way. The method of forcing people to drink will make the atmosphere of the banquet very bad. Some people regard the wine shop as a battlefield and always try their best to persuade others to drink more. They think that if they don't drink enough, they haven't entertained them well. But in fact, most people don't like to be forced into something, and no one wants to make a fool of themselves by being carried out.

Therefore, when persuading people to drink, you should be moderate. According to each person’s alcohol capacity, if you have a large drinker, let him drink more, and if you have a weak drinker, persuade him less. In this way, others will appreciate your considerateness. And I have a crush on you. Remember, the wine table is a place for exchanging feelings and deepening understanding. If you want to make the atmosphere at the wine table harmonious, you don’t need to compete with others who drink more. Speaking skills between husband and wife: Speaking correctly is worse than speaking beautifully

Speaking skills between husband and wife: Speaking correctly is worse than speaking beautifully

When two people move from love to marriage After the palace, there will be a lot more trivial matters between the two people. Coping with these things requires a lot of energy and time. Only by learning from each other and cooperating with each other can husband and wife do better.

One sentence to make people laugh

A couple has been married for more than ten years, and they have to send living expenses to both parents every month. This matter has always been taken care of by the wife.

But the wife sends 100 yuan to her parents and 50 yuan to her husband's parents every month.

The husband has been very angry about this matter, but he does not want to cause any unpleasantness with his wife.

In the past, when my husband came off work every day, he would do nothing but hug and caress his little son for a long time. But when he returned home that day, he saw his youngest son crying in the stroller, but he pretended not to see or hear anything. Uncharacteristically, he walked over to his 5-year-old daughter and picked her up.

The wife who was cooking turned around and saw it, and hurriedly shouted: "My son is crying like that, why don't you go and comfort him quickly?"

The husband said calmly: It’s up to you to hug me for the 50 yuan! I want to hold 100 yuan. When the wife heard this, her face turned red, and from now on she also sent 100 yuan to her husband's parents every month.

The smart husband humorously and yet principledly invited his wife to enter the transposition trap that he had designed. He did not complain at length, but hinted at the essence and meaning of the matter. own dissatisfaction, thereby cleverly achieving the purpose of speaking.

One sentence makes people jump.

There was a young couple. One day, both parents came and they sat down to dine in a luxury hotel. During the dinner, the parents-in-law, who are businessmen, proposed to buy a big house for their daughter and son-in-law, and proposed that each family contribute 100,000 yuan. The husband's family is in a bit of a dilemma because they are an intellectual family with limited income.

The woman’s father was unhappy with his in-laws and felt a little dissatisfied, so he said to his son-in-law: Look, what future do you have as a doctor? Why don’t you go into business with me and earn hundreds of thousands a year? Millions would be great.

After sending their parents away, the young couple started talking.

The husband said: Tell your dad, don’t tell me that you want me to learn business in the future, I don’t like to hear it!

The wife said: My dad is doing it for your own good. The old man has to spend 100,000 to buy you a house. It is much better than your dad getting nothing!

When her husband heard what she said, he became even more unhappy and said: What's so great about your dad? Isn't he just a nouveau riche?

It doesn’t matter if you have money. If you don’t have education, you can only be a nouveau riche!

When his wife heard that he was attacking her parents, she was also angry and said: Your family is very good, but they are so poor that they would like to break a penny in half and spend it.

The two of them kept talking to each other, and the more they talked, the more energetic and excessive they talked, and the relationship between the husband and wife became more and more tense.

The couple comes from different families, and each family has a certain cultural background. People who grow up in a certain environment will be proud of this environment and will instinctively resent criticism of their family. The mistake of the couple in this case was that they failed to respect each other's family.

Action Guide

Everyone has self-esteem and desires others to respect themselves. Therefore, never hurt the self-esteem of others at any time, even your closest lover.

Some people are straightforward, especially when it comes to treating their loved ones. They always feel that the relationship between them is already very close, and they are used to saying whatever they want. Many times they may not mean any harm when they say these hurtful words, and sometimes they even mean well, but they inevitably make their loved ones sound a little bit poisonous and hurt their self-esteem.

Almost everyone has a fortress in their heart, and they need to hide their true self inside to feel safe. Even your lover still needs this kind of security in front of you. But your outspoken words broke down this fortress and brought out the people hiding inside. Of course it makes people feel uncomfortable to be exposed naked. How can the other person develop a good impression of you?

In most cases, the person who likes to speak outright only considers his own displeasure when speaking, but does not consider the other party's position, concept and character. If your words are just an innocuous joke, that's fine, but if your words touch your lover's pain or put your lover in an embarrassing situation, that's not good.

You may speak freely and casually, or you may feel like something is stuck in your throat and you won't say it quickly. If it is the former, your lover knows that you are unintentional, so it is difficult to have an attack and can only keep it in your heart; if it is the latter, because you really mean it and go straight to the core, your lover has to activate the self-defense system and either fight back or Hold a grudge. Therefore, no matter which situation your outspoken words fall into, it will be intolerable to others, which will bring obstacles to your relationship as husband and wife and make your lover stay away from you, lest he accidentally bear your blow.

Therefore, when husband and wife speak, they do not necessarily have to speak correctly, but they must speak beautifully, because telling the truth may hurt the self-esteem of the lover, but speaking beautifully can make People accept it willingly.