Say it one by one.

Postscript of Fantasy City: City in Memory —— Not Postscript of Postscript

I always tell myself that even if one day we are not together, we will be together.

-inscription

1

I looked back at my growth path and watched it day by day. I stood by the roadside with my hands in my trench coat pockets, in a lonely posture. I saw countless people walking past me with a straight face. Occasionally someone stops to smile at me. I know that these people who stay will eventually become the warmth of my life. When I see them, I will never give up.

2

When I was young, when I was young enough to speak, live and do anything at will, I once wrote that friends were my courage to live, and they gave me the ability to endure, so that I wouldn't be in a hurry to face the world.

This postscript is dedicated to my friends, to those who are crazy and sad with me and ride through our thin youth by bike. I think we all remember how the wind in those years carved sadness on our faces and carved traces that years could not erase.

Let's sigh for a long time.

I lamented that I had been so heartbroken. Sigh how time flies. Suddenly, when we turned around, we died too fast.

three

I studied economics at Waseda University in Japan. He always sends me his photos and writes long letters. Seeing his time on E-IL, I know he is still used to writing in the middle of the night. When he is in China, he always writes to me on white A4 printing paper. When he left China, he began to hit the keyboard in the middle of the night.

Xiao Ah is a smart person, living happily and simply in the sun, simple and spectacular, but quiet and undisturbed. He is not a writer. He does not like literature. The only thing he reads about literature is my messy writing. Such a boy is simple and happy. I always believe that children who dabble in literature will never be happy. Their happiness is scattered in an unknown place, just like naughty children wandering to the skylight and still refusing to come back after wandering to the skylight. He said that he always felt sad when he read what I wrote, because I never found my own happiness. I said, little boy, don't worry too much about me. One day you will leave me. I don't want to get used to your care.

I was a freshman when I said this, but when I was a freshman, he really crossed the line with me, wrote me an E-IL in the middle of the night, and then went to bed. Walking alone in the wind of Waseda during the day, but still smiling.

He can live happily alone.

I can't do it.

In the photo, Xiao is standing under the cherry tree with a smile. Sunlight scattered like broken mercury on his long white windbreaker. Under the photo, he wrote: Siwei, this is my favorite cherry tree.

I vaguely remember what Xiao gave me before I went to Japan. I heard the voice that used to accompany me every day and told me that I was very sad. I am afraid of standing on the horizon without friends and feeling lonely. I know that A's friend is me, because I am his only friend.

That day, Xiao has been talking at school. Speaking of power failure, I never knew Xiao would talk so much. He has always been a quiet man. The more I hold it, the sadder it gets. At the last moment before he cut off the power, he told me that if one day we were not together. ...

Then it suddenly broke, and the rustling sound was like the rain outside the window.

I put it down and walked gently. I want to be together. Then I fell asleep in bed.

And time is still flowing. I finally grew up alone in the wind, but the smiling child has a cold face. I feel sad when I think about it.

Standing at the age of nineteen, at the turning point of youth, between one life and another, I finally burst into tears.

four

Weiwei is a girl with aura. She studied painting since childhood 12 years. I have seen her draw beautiful scenery with simple lines, but she doesn't draw it now. Because of the college entrance examination. When her father told her that you had to give up something, she gave up the brushes and pigments in 12. I don't know if she backed out when she made a choice. All I know is that my right hand stung me when I chose science. Later, Vivian never mentioned her paintings again. It's just that I know she has never participated in the school art festival again-although she can easily win the first prize. One of the scenes that impressed me the most was that she suddenly stopped when she passed the enrollment brochure of Tsinghua University Academy of Fine Arts. Five minutes later, she turned to me and said, let's go. I looked at the thin figure in the back, and her black windbreaker was suddenly filled with the cold wind in winter. I don't know why, but I suddenly feel very sad. But I didn't tell her, so I smiled and ran up.

And it was a long time ago, so long that my memory is blurred, just like the big bus glass in the fog. When I stretch out my finger, there will be a clear trace, and along my finger, there will be big drops of water falling. Just like our tears when we were young.

That day I went out by car alone and leaned against the high glass window of the bus, which was elevated. However, I suddenly saw another bus passing by, and there was a sentence printed on the back of that bus: Twenty years have passed, but youth is not fade away.

At that moment, I almost cried.

Just like a beautiful crystal ball, this is the dream of all our children, just like Alice in Wonderland. However, when Alice grew up, she lost her key. Should she kneel and cry sadly or should she go on bravely?

Slightly alone in Chongqing, in another city not far from the city where we grew up, she can even go home every week if she wants. But she said, I have to get used to being alone outside, because one day, we will not be together.

I remember when I graduated from senior three, we were full of wine and wine, blowing and beating, and the room was full of beer bubbles. All the people are talking and singing loudly, and their voices are hoarse. In the middle of the night, an adult wandered in the street until midnight or early morning when no one was there. In the end, there are usually only a few people left, all good friends, Wei Wei, CKJ, Xiaojie, Po and me.

Later, everyone was lying on a bench in the middle of the street, drunk, laughing their heads off, and then crying sadly. Talk to each other, but forget what you said. On those nights, we always lie on those benches and watch the dark sky brighten up little by little.

When I left the city where I grew up and came to Shanghai, I was given a book. I opened it on the plane and saw a beautiful font written slightly on the title page:

Gersvi

Senior three gives me the most warm and comforting friends.

When listening together before, I heard a sentence, "In that cold season, everyone avoided the wind and frost, only you sang with me."

This is the most unforgettable sentence I heard in the whole senior three. We always say: After this July, everything will be fine and everything will be there.

And now we finally escaped from the purgatory-like senior three, and then everything seemed fine and everything was there, but in the end I found out it wasn't. After this July, everyone is leaving, and I even begin to miss everything in the past year, including our extremely failed contact, many self-study sessions at noon and night, watermelon ice we drank at the school gate, and all the words we said, including happiness and sadness, quarreling and anger.

I've been thinking about how our friends will live in the future. At least you went to Shanghai, where we wanted to go, while I was going to spend my college life in Chongqing, which I didn't like at all. I can't hang out with you and Xiaobei after class. I miss you and can't drag you with me. I can't knock when I call you downstairs.

Things are different.

Every time I see this word, I feel sad. After all, there is so much happiness and warmth together.

After being with you for so long, you didn't teach me to play badminton in the end. I always said I would practice your sketch well, but it never came true.

Everything came suddenly, and I didn't even have a chance to choose and struggle.

Xiao Si, as I have always said, you, you and all my friends should be happy.

five

When I wrote the first part of Fantasy City, I was still in the third year of high school, but looking back, everything became so vague. The only things that are clear are hot weather and bright sunshine. Wei Wei and I are always walking around our school full of tall camphor trees, smiling or tired. Sometimes we talk for a long time, but sometimes we are too sad to speak.

We often take out our wallets and cokes in the department store, and then walk to the playground from the nearby path.

Night after night, so leisurely and sadly.

That summer, I began to know how hard life needs, because senior three is really like purgatory.

At that time, I put the movie poster back in the photo frame I put on my desk, and then put it in a piece of white printing paper with my favorite sentence: Even now there is hope. Many nights I always look at the black handwriting on white paper like this, and then tell myself, don't be afraid, don't be afraid.

Then the days were hidden.

At that time, I began to write "Fantasy City" because life was too monotonous and boring. I say this life is like rewinding. I wonder if those films will be broken one day in constant retrogression, and then we will hear the click of life stop. I watched the faint, boundless sunset cast a deep fog on her face, which filled my heart with sadness.

At that time, there were evening self-study, exams every night, and wars. I began to get used to doing problems quickly with a pen in the dark night and under the bright white light in the classroom. ABCD writes smoothly. But my heart is empty. Sometimes I look up at the dim light outside the window, so I look sad and disappointed that I have forgotten the language.

Wei Wei and I always have dinner together before self-study at night, then we put a cup of watermelon ice in the stall at the school gate, then waddled into the school and sat by the lake blowing air. When they meet DRAM, they will play turtle cards together. Then as soon as the bell rang, I ran upstairs to take the exam. I took the liberal arts comprehensive course, and I took the science comprehensive course. I wrote my thesis in long paragraphs until my hands were sore, and I twisted my hands and used the left-handed rule from all kinds of incredible angles.

This is my life, so simple that I don't believe I have had such a simple time.

That summer seemed endless. I only remember the cicada's voice was loud, the waves were getting higher and higher, and it rushed to me through the shade with the heat of the sun. But one night, when I stood at the school gate for the last time, the chirp that once existed like air suddenly disappeared. I stood still and heard the sound of time breaking.

That day was the day when I went to school to get the university notice. I left school.

six

I want to go like this, I want to go alone, without care and bondage, and live a happy life alone.

But why am I suddenly silent when an adult is talking and laughing? Why is it sad to see the familiar back when riding a bike? Why can't I stop being sad when I see a book I have read and a movie I have seen? Why am I still used to standing alone on the open lawn and looking up at the cloudy day of 45 degrees?

Who has a crystal ball? I want to find out.

seven

I am in Shanghai, watching the sunset in a million square meters open space, sometimes lonely, sometimes very lonely.

When I got off the plane, I saw the smiles of Qinghe and Kun. They sent me to college. Laughing and chatting happily all the way. I feel as if I haven't gone far and I'm not as sad as I thought. However, when they left, my world suddenly quieted down, and I began to eat alone, wandering alone, looking for a classroom.

I know a person's good day will come one day, but I never thought it would be so soon.

I gradually began to understand a passage written by a student author I liked before. She said that one is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listening to strange things. Then in a casual moment, you will find that the things you tried so hard to forget have really been forgotten.

eight

There are few trees in the shade, because it is a new campus, so there is no thick green. Similarly, in winter, no piece of trees will lose their leaves crazily.

When I ride my bike through the white cement road with only small trees on both sides, I always think of my middle school days. In that place, there is a strong shade, and there is never a whole piece of sunshine. However, the scene before us is like a gorgeous and luxurious dream. It doesn't matter if I cross the past, just like the earth crosses the tail of a comet.

I finally started a personal life, a person running, a person typing in the middle of the night, a person standing on the roof looking at the empty and deep sky. I heard the crackling sound when my life turned stiff, and my life was gradually damaged in constant running-in.

And this is what I don't want to see.

Only when I receive stationery, see photos, hear previous songs and see similar plots will I feel sad for a moment. Then I smiled happily, but silently.

Occasionally, when I am sad, I will post on my own website, and then I know that they will read it, and so will my friends.

On my first day at school, I was very sad. I am the earliest of my classmates. Classes began in September, but Weiwei stayed at home until10.30 before leaving her original place.

I always told Wei Wei how unhappy I was in those days, and Wei Wei always posted on my page to comfort me. I remember one time her post was written like this:

When I called you yesterday, it was very noisy in your place, and it was very quiet in mine, much like when we were in senior three, we called at 2 or 3 o'clock every night, and then hung up and continued reading.

You said it was just us now, but it was a long time ago for me. In Xiaoqing's words, our relationship is the third relationship besides love and friendship.

You said, Weiwei, the whole world has betrayed you, and I am by your side. If there is a hell, let's go crazy together. That's right, that's right. I will go anywhere with you. If I'm not here, I'll be sad if others bully you. I said that no matter what my friends are doing, I will be there for them. Don't say your side is empty, it won't.

Primary one will leave tomorrow and Xiaoqing will leave today.

I just grab a dress every day and go out on the internet to swing, and I go wherever I go. My mother told me not to be too sloppy. But how can I explain it to her?

Siwei, you have always been such a child, stubbornly saying that I am as happy as a snail. Don't say anything if you are unhappy. Every time I see you like this, it hurts. Someone told me that Siwei has always been very happy. I smiled. I asked them, what is happiness? Is to hide your sadness and smile at everyone? Siwei, you see, you are such a child in their eyes.

You said before, Wei Wei, you have to understand that it is difficult to find such good friends in the future. So I quarreled with Xiao F. She said that you would forget us for a long time, and she said that you were not good and I was not happy. Actually, I was very unhappy yesterday, but I didn't say anything when you said I was unhappy.

Do you still remember that the title page of the book I gave you was written like this, for Siwei (the friend who gave me the most comfort and warmth). I'm not sure if there will be friends like you in the future. There will be friends who tell me that I have nothing, and there will be friends who will give in to me so much and never give up when I am most sad.

You are safe now, Moon, but I still want to say that it is better for you to be alone in Shanghai, because I can't accompany you to eat, play badminton, swing and laugh at everything. As soon as I call you from the balcony, you can't run downstairs. There are many things you can't do. ...

However, Siwei, you have to remember that even hell is rampant.

nine

I am in Shanghai, looking at the silhouette of time chaos under neon lights.

Sometimes Qinghe and I will wait for him to get off work in the lobby of the hotel where the moon plays the piano. I always hear his sad piano music, just like the cello I listened to repeatedly in the last time of senior three. I prefer cello to piano, because it is more desolate and ambiguous.

While waiting for the moon, Qinghe and I used to take the light rail through the city, go to a certain place, and then turn back, just like playing a game similar to the reincarnation of fate. I looked at the colorful lights under my feet and felt that everything was like a mirage. Only me and the face reflected on the glass know each other clearly.

Qinghe said with a smile, you see, we flew over the city like angels.

At that moment, I began to fall in love with the light rail, because it was not as desperate as the subway. Black and deep despair.

It gives a warm color, although it is still an illusion.

10

Some younger brothers and sisters in my former school wrote to me and told me that the small playground in my school had been transformed into a cultural square, surrounded by white sculptures. They told me these things with a smile, and I was in a trance when I read them.

1 1

I'm used to watching you get on the bus and then running across the street to watch you sit quietly in the car.

I'm used to giving you dessert and seeing you smile like a child.

Accustomed to walking on the road to watch the car for you, holding your hand and pulling you across the road.

Accustomed to your sudden sadness, I will accompany you not to talk.

Accustomed to the rain outside the window in the middle of the night

Accustomed to the smiling face and anger in the room

Accustomed to your poor memory, you always forget what you said.

Accustomed to your dependence on people, even though I am a child.

Accustomed to your running around, you can't find anyone.

Just get used to it. Yes, you have endless troubles.

I'm used to you suddenly appearing in front of me and saying to go out to play together.

Accustomed to the light in your eyes

Also used to the deep darkness in your eyes.

I am used to writing you a note when you are sad.

I am used to telling you to remember to eat.

We are used to each other, so we never leave.

We laugh, cry, fight and drink together.

Take a pirate ship together and watch the beautiful lights together.

Eat watermelon together in the shop in front of the school.

Play cards together by the school lake, even though the exam is coming soon.

Go to the bookstore until it gets dark.

Look at the stop sign on the roadside and see the direction of this car to the city.

Because we are friends.

So we are getting closer and more dependent on each other.

12

A person always forgets some things, and then he can remember others.

Just like someone wants to get close to him, someone will leave.

I never believed this before, because I believe that all people can be happy together. But it seems not. Distance, time, years, like a wall, are separated from each other. Looking at it, I hear the sound of happiness jingling across the street. So I also smiled happily.

As XJ told me, as long as I know you are still alive, I can be carefree.

13

Lonely people always think of everyone who appears in their lives, so I always think of you.

14

A Liang was my best friend in college. Just like my friends at that time, we ate together, rode together and were bored together. Look at me, I see you are getting bored.

A Liang likes painting, too. I've always wanted to introduce her to Weiwei. I think they must hit it off. Just like Vivian, A Liang always indulges me indefinitely. Even sometimes I know I'm wrong, but she still doesn't say anything.

Just different from Wei Wei, she is a person who hides her emotions. She always said that I want everyone to be happy, so I always give in to others. I am sad when others are sad, and I am happy when others are happy. But in the end, I don't know whether I am happy or sad.

I suddenly remembered Xiao Bei's character. She always tells others her happy side, but she cries silently.

She once said that people always say that I am happy, so I am really happy, even if I am not happy, I will be happy.

I don't know how much pressure such people have to bear, but how much I look like a child compared with them.

A wayward child who refuses to grow up.

15

"Fantasy City" was written later, and the editor asked me to draw illustrations, so I began to ask Yang Shiyan and A Liang to help me draw illustrations. In the following many weekend nights, Liang and I always stay up late and do CG in the notebook lent to me by the moon.

The moon is a very good person, taking care of me like little A in those days. He will send me a message that I am going to eat. If I accidentally say that I have a stomachache, he will run from top to bottom and send it to me. He will also bring me the specialty that his mother brought to his hometown, and even bring me the Chili sauce of a roommate in his dormitory after asking for it.

These small and trivial things always touch me the most.

In those days when I was filming, Liang and I stayed together almost every day for more than 20 hours. Sometimes I feel embarrassed to see A Liang's red eyes, but I'm embarrassed to say that I'm still very strict with her in order to achieve the desired effect. If she does it wrong, she will do it again. A Liang said almost nothing. I always say that I am the toughest boss and A Liang is the laziest employee. In fact, I know better than anyone that A Liang will promise me to make illustrations, not for the payment of those illustrations.

In the last few days of completion, our fatigue reached its peak. Every night, I always go to bed first, and A Liang paints. Then when A Liang goes to bed at three or four o'clock, I continue to do it. In this way, I watched the sky turn from black to blue and then white day by day, and felt that I was a witness of time.

Maybe many years later, I will recall this busy time with emotion.

A Liang said, maybe when this work is over, we will feel idle.

I said maybe, and then I went back to normal life. I don't know if the normal life I'm talking about is a lonely day, because A Liang has transferred to the animation class, and I know that's her dream all along. We finally separated.

Liang asked me if I would be lonely with each other in the future. Like a stranger, I didn't speak.

Because when I bowed my head, I remembered that a long time ago, when I divided the arts and sciences, Xiaobei and I went in two different directions. Xiao Bei asked me, if two very good people are not together, will they forget each other?

I thought I said I would. Xiao Bei continued, don't you even say hello when you meet?

I said yes, and then I found Xiao Bei's eyes bright and beautiful for the first time.

It was when I was seventeen. Now, I am standing on the tail of 19 years old.

15

By the time I finished writing Fantasy City, I was already very tired. The interpersonal relationship around me has a crisis that I can't control. My temper becomes irritable and irritable, and I am always sad for no reason. I will be angry because of a little thing, just like the inexplicable sadness in March when I was seventeen. In those fearful days, people around me said how my temper could be so bad.

At that time, Liang relayed it to me, and I was too sad to speak. I never thought I was such a person. Because I think of my past, it is so peaceful and tolerant. I don't know what standard they use to measure everything. All I know is that I was sad.

It was in the d building of the school. A Liang is still processing the photos, and I told her the requirements.

I asked with a little sadness, did I say that I am a very intolerable person?

She replied a lot to me a little. She said, "In fact, every time you are sad, I am by your side. I'll show you where you are. " "Don't do that. I don't think I can do anything for you. I always thought that my warmth was enough. " "I told you before that everyone left you, but I won't. In fact, for me, having a friend like you is the greatest happiness. " "Every time I see someone on the badminton court, I will think of your smile."

I stared at the screen and burst into tears.

16

Endless postscript, I saw this topic at the back of a book many years ago. Now, I feel that I am actually fulfilling this topic.

I remember that I used to write the postscript, but now, I click "words" on WORD and find that this postscript has exceeded the number of words.

Like my topic, this is an afterword that is not an afterword. I'm just remembering, remembering those people whose faces have always been fresh and will always be fresh in my life, those who brought me warmth.

In Xiao's letter, having a friend like you is my greatest happiness. Even though I have walked so far, I still feel warm. I can imagine Xiaoa flying in the streets of Japan, standing in the shade of snow, smiling as sweet as a child when looking up. I can always recall the days when he was with me, turn on water for me, give me stomach medicine, remember my favorite movie posters, and detain me for dinner like a prisoner.

You can see his smile as soon as you look up.

17

I think I should finish it when this winter comes. The temperature has been falling. I am expecting it to snow in Shanghai, but my roommate told me that it hasn't snowed in Shanghai for several years.

When I wrote the last chapters of Fantasy City, the first semester of Shanghai University had ended, and now, when I write this postscript, my new semester has begun. The short-lived system in the university makes me feel that time passes so quickly and irreversibly. Shanghai University is an empty campus, and it has become a crowded place.

The sunshine outside the window is very warm. I think I can finish writing this postscript.

I have been writing prose for a long time. After writing such a long novel, I really want to write about my life, just like writing those sad essays together in those years. After I didn't write prose for such a long time, I suddenly wrote it with ease. I can't help feeling happy and full. So I can't help talking. Perhaps prose is my favorite thing, and novels are just an accident. However, in any case, Fantasy City is a very special work in my writing career, and I deeply know the time and energy I spent on it.

Thank all the people who support me, and thank all the people who like fantasy city. Because of your encouragement, I can continue to write.

Perhaps "Fantasy City" will be a memorial to my lost youth, because it is my most gorgeous dream, with my purest and fluent fantasy, mine, the childhood dream of all of us, and the dream of the prince and princess that we had when we were very young.

18

Dedicated to all the sad children with good hopes. To all children before 19.

In the torrent of time, we will always grow.

Jing M.Guo is in Shanghai.