Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - Zhuangzi said, "It's better to forget each other when people are in Jianghu.". Why does Zhuangzi advocate "forgetting each other" instead of staying together?

Zhuangzi said, "It's better to forget each other when people are in Jianghu.". Why does Zhuangzi advocate "forgetting each other" instead of staying together?

When tenderness becomes strength and love becomes compulsion, its core is actually egoism in the cloak of "love". For example, Zhuangzi once put forward in Zhuangzi's Chapter. Master: It's better to forget each other than to be in the Jianghu. This sentence is telling us that the definition of "love" is not necessarily "form"

Next, Yan Xiaoer will take you to analyze those "selfish" kidnappings in the name of love from Zhuangzi's Jianghu is better than forgetting each other. I hope that when faced with similar situations, everyone can remember what Yan Xiaoer said and truly "let go of themselves" and "help themselves".

1, Thinking: Self-interested farce in the name of "love" In order to talk more deeply about the profound connotation of "forgetting the Jianghu", let's first talk about "kidnapping" in the name of "love" in Zhuangzi's eyes. This kind of "love" is often under the guise of "pleasing others", forcing each other to do things they don't want to do, and even hurting each other.

We know that friendship, love and affection are common in life and indispensable in our daily interpersonal communication. Among these three kinds of love, "tenderness" is easy to turn into "strength", and a beautiful story ends in regret. The reason may be that one party in an intimate relationship is "too selfish", which is hard to find. Usually wearing the coat of "giving" will form a compulsion, become the burden of the other party, and make the other party breathless.

In other words, even the so-called "giving" in love is likely to become "injury" if there is no rationality of empathy.

In Yan Xiaoer's view, "body" and "trust" are more important to say that "love" is great and touching. It is true that some people do not have "body" and "forgiveness" when they make the so-called "pay" in "love", so they staged a farce of self-interest in the name of love.

2. The "self-interested farce" in Zhuangzi's fable. Let's look at a fable in Zhuangzi first.

It is said that Lv Hou has never seen seabirds in his life. When he heard that a seabird had come to the suburbs, he was very happy. He used the best car to transport seabirds back to the palace, ordered people to take the best exotic wine, played gorgeous music and warmly treated seabirds. However, in the face of Lv Hou's "enthusiasm", seabirds were surprised and afraid, afraid to eat and drink, and finally died with a cry. From this, Zhuangzi pointed out Lv Hou's mistake, that is, Lv Hou "keeps birds by people, not by birds".

In other words, it was Lv Hou's kindness that killed the seabirds. This story is the famous "Lu Hou raises birds" in Zhuangzi. Interested friends can look for it.

In other words, "love" is not a unilateral emotional release. When managing and maintaining the interpersonal relationship behind the fetters in the name of "love", we should not be too arbitrary and pay attention to the ways and means, which is also a manifestation of love. Many times, "love" is a process of self-change and mutual running-in. When our "deliberate attention" in love becomes a natural "habit", at this time, two people in an intimate relationship can be regarded as the most ideal running-in.

Or it may be more direct to say so. Many of us sometimes refer to "love" and "for your own good" as just self-righteous "for your own good". We can't avoid the fact that it is always difficult for most of us to put ourselves in others' shoes naturally and smoothly, and more spontaneously consider "what I think is best, then it is natural for others to need it."

3. Zhuangzi: Forgetting each other is not the end of love, but the continuation of love. Zhuangzi is brilliant. He saw through the false kidnapping in the name of love and told the corresponding solution, that is, "if being together limits each other and makes each other suffer, why not let go of yourself and help each other?" It is better to forget the rivers and lakes. "

Regarding mutual care, let's take a look at the classic original. In the book Zhuangzi, it is recorded as follows:

"Spring drought, fish in the land. It is better to forget each other in the rivers and lakes. "

Zhuangzi's short but vivid passage directly points out the "mutual restraint" in the "intimate relationship".

According to Zhuangzi, the spring dried up, and two fish wet each other with each other's spittle, thus prolonging their life. But obviously, "water" symbolizes "life" for fish. Fish are soaking each other in spit to prolong each other's lives, but they are also consuming their own lives. Two fish never leave, but they are bound to each other and consume each other. This is bitter, but is this "bitter feeling" really necessary?

If you can't give each other happiness, but bind each other and consume each other, then you have to reflect. Do you really want each other to be happy? Or, you are just afraid of losing each other's self and unhappy.

According to Zhuangzi's logic, true love is not "bondage", but giving happiness and freedom to each other. If a person's "companionship" is at the expense of the other party, it is a pity for this beautiful "love".

Sometimes, it doesn't make any sense to be reluctant to be together, except to consume each other. If "forgetting each other" can make each other free and happy, then "forgetting each other" is not the end of love, but the continuation of love.

You can experience it.

Note: This article is the original and exclusive release of Yan Xiaoer's philosophical works. If there is any infringement such as handling or plagiarism, the responsibility will be investigated once found. The pictures in this paper come from the Internet, and some materials come from the Internet. They were hacked and deleted (within two weeks). Please enjoy this series.