Why should the monument be erected three years later?

1, mentioned in Disciples' Rules: "After three years of mourning, you are often sad, your life changes, and wine and meat are absolutely gone. The funeral is complete, the sacrifice is sincere, and the deceased is like this. " In particular, the last sentence expresses that in the past three years, we should treat our dead parents like living parents. How to treat them like living people? The ancients thought that it was enough not to erect a monument. Here, I want to talk about the function of setting up a monument. The purpose of erecting a monument is to set up a memorial tablet for future generations to worship their dead parents. Once the tombstone is erected, there is no way to "get things done", which breaks the rules.

2. The culture of setting up a monument for three years comes from this passage of Confucius in The Analects of Confucius Yang Huo: "I asked: Three years have been lost for a long time! If a gentleman doesn't do it for three years, his manners will be bad. He didn't do it for three years, and the music collapsed. The old valley has gone, the new valley is rising, and the time has passed. Confucius said: the husband eats, Kim, and the woman? Say: Ann. Women are peaceful for it. Husband and wife are in mourning and don't want to eat, listen to music and live, so they don't do it. This woman is safe, so do it! Kill me, Confucius said: it is not kind to give! My son was born three years ago, and then he broke away from his parents. My husband was lost for three years, and the whole world was lost. Come on, have three years of love for your parents? "

To put it simply, it takes three years for our parents to nurture us from birth to being able to walk independently and get rid of our parents' arms. Our parents have been bereaved for three years, so we should return the kindness of these three years to our parents. We need to be as grateful to our parents as they take care of us.