If your mother did something "worse than an animal" to you, can you forgive her?

Sure！ My parents didn't like me since I was a child, so I was very independent since I was a child, collecting bottles and garbage! Take pictures in the village to make money and give money to parents. When the three brothers separated, they had their own houses, and the children were raised by my parents! My child has been left unattended all day! Later, I was too difficult, so I took my wife to work in Haicheng! Never mind how much you have suffered, life is quite good now! When the parents were rich, the two brothers turned over the house and the children spent the money on their studies! I'm too old to do it! ! The end result is that the two brothers have no one to raise, and finally the neighbors told me about their parents' recent situation! Without a word, my daughter-in-law drove more than 1000 miles to get it! My mother was peeing on the kang! There are rotten bedsores on the back of your ass! My wife took good care of her, and now she's fine! You can go, too. What my mother says most now is that I regret it! In fact, I still don't know why they don't like me! I thank my wife!

My relative is such an animal. She gave birth to a girl 30 years ago. Without looking, she asked her husband to wrap it in cloth and throw it on the side of the road. The weather in winter is MINUS 20 degrees. Fortunately, she was taken home by her uncle who visited her children, and her mother never visited her. When the child was thirteen years old, his parents opened a restaurant selling breakfast, saying that they wanted their own flesh and blood very much, regretted the abandonment in those years, and cried bitterly. The child's uncle believed it and gave it back to her. From then on, the girl's bad luck came. Let the children get up at three o'clock every day, make soup and instant noodles, greet customers, wash dishes and so on. She is not allowed to study and is not given food. Only let her eat the leftovers of customers, and she will be beaten if she doesn't do well. My uncle, who loves her, often visits her and finds her eyes dull and scarred. He dared not tell the truth when he asked her, but kept crying. Finally, the child said to his uncle, if I tell the truth, will you take me away? I won't tell you unless you take me away. The child is afraid to tell her uncle. If she is not taken away, it will be even worse in the later stage, because her mother often beats her and can't tell her uncle. It would be even worse if her uncle knew.

The end result was that my uncle had a big fight with the parents of the child, broke off the relationship and took the girl away. Now the girl is married and has children and a happy family of her own. She is very, very filial to her uncle and aunt. In fact, her aunt is the most respectable person. She is not related to this girl by blood, and she loves her dearly.

Therefore, there are really parents who are "worse than animals" in this world, but you haven't met them and feel the pain of others.

I can't do it, but my dad can. Sometimes I think my father is a saint.

My father will be 60 years old soon. There are five brothers and sisters, one brother and one sister, one brother and one sister. Among the three brothers, the father was hated since he was a child. When a pot of rice is cooked, my uncle will pick it first, and then my father can eat it; If my dad chooses first, he will definitely be beaten. At that time, I was poor Is there anything to eat at home? My father stole it. It must be my dad who was beaten.

When my parents and brothers got married at the age of three, my grandfather built a house for me and took care of my children. My father is going to be a soldier, and he is afraid that it will be difficult to find him when he goes back. He wants to get married first and then go to the army. A grandmother I've never met took a fancy to my father's good looks, so a basket of peanuts took my mother home. Some people may think that it is not difficult to find someone who is handsome and a soldier. But my father's family composition is not good, rich peasants, just find a daughter-in-law. I am anxious to get married, saying that I will build a house when I get married, and I will leave it alone when I get married.

When my father came back from the army, his parents said they had no money to build a house. My parents built it themselves and didn't give us a homestead. There is no way to sum up our grandfather's milk on a triangular land. My uncle's family gave us a small plot of land to build a house, which was built with grandpa's help. After it was built, all the food was gone, so I went begging with the daughter-in-law of Third Milk and Aunt Milk mentioned below.

Young man, thin-skinned, unable to speak. If not, when they come back, they will find that they gave milk to my parents who have no money to build a house and laid the foundation for my uncle. At that time, I quickly built three big tile houses for my uncle!

Then I asked my grandfather to tell my grandmother to marry a daughter-in-law. My uncle is handsome, but he is too honest and his family composition is not good, so even if my aunt is a little "two tigers", she can be regarded as a beacon.

By the time my sister was born, my grandfather's mother had raised three children for my uncle's family, but she refused to help my parents raise my sister. In fact, they dare not, for fear of my aunt.

What is lively is that my uncle's family also has children. They dare not take care of my uncle's house, or my aunt will "run away", which is what we are talking about now.

Is there a one-year vacation or something? My uncle's daughter went to my house and told her mother that my sister wouldn't let her eat. Then my aunt began to scold, and my mother began to scold when she heard two people, and then it rose to the point where my father and my uncle had a fight. My uncle saw my father and my uncle fighting, so he hugged my father and let my uncle fight. My uncle started using a stick, and the blood couldn't stop flowing.

There are too many such things, from childhood to my growth.

Brother and sister, three people, all grew up under the protection of menstruation Milk, Lao Milk, San Milk, I don't remember, and all kinds of milk from neighbors. Nobody takes care of me, and my parents have to work to earn money, which is what I call grandma. This time I took a leisurely look, and that time I took a look. Seeing a bully older than us, he took us aside and didn't play with them.

Before I grew up, my aunt, old nurse and my neighbor's grandmother all died. All I can do is burn some paper in front of their graves when I am at home. Then my third wife, who has no daughter. One year, our rising daughter bought a silver bracelet for her mother and her daughter bought clothes for her mother. My sister bought me a third wife. I dare not have a third wife, so I will tell her if I am afraid of kissing her. Why shouldn't her granddaughter buy her a third wife for me?

There are too many things to finish. Speaking of this year, I will turn my back on my dad!

My mother was ill, and those filial sons and daughters called my father at the first time. My father was really a soldier for a long time. Lei Feng's spirit is deeply engraved in his bones. He did better than those children. He guarded the hospital bed. After leaving the hospital, I was afraid of death, and no one knew about it. My father and my uncle discussed it and watched it in the middle of the night alone. During the day, my sister-in-law thinks my mother's house is dirty, so she doesn't eat there. My uncle prepared her to go home to eat, so my father took all the delicious food from home and went home to cook for me. What do you want to eat? My mother looks very angry! How did we get through these years? We were almost crushed to death by them! Now that you are ill, you look like you!

The pattern has been formed for so many years. From when my mother just got married, my milk encouraged him to hit my mother. When I knew what was going on, I stopped hitting her, but every time my milk made trouble, my mother didn't dare to talk back, or she would be beaten! As soon as my mother said it, my father told my mother to get out! Everyone knows what Chinese New Year is like this year. Where can we go? I didn't shake it. Wake my mother up in the morning to cook. My mother said that if you kick me out, don't let me cook. Finally, my mother got up to cook!

When I was a child, I heard enough and got married. I don't want to be angry about those things, but after my mother told me, I couldn't help it. I called my father and said that if you want to be filial, you must be filial secretly. In your mother's yard, you can buy her anything you want and do anything you want, and don't go home and make my mother angry. My father told me that his mother was ill, and my mother didn't go to see her or anything, and she was still angry with my mother. I'm angry. Just tell him that my mother didn't stop you from being filial. What else do you want from her? What did your mother do to her ... then my father said that I went to college for nothing, and I didn't even have basic filial piety ... then we had a quarrel, and I cried all night, because my mother was unworthy, and I hated my father's ignorance!

Later, my mother told my sister that I had a quarrel with my father, and then my sister called to persuade her. My sister had a good temper, but she quarreled with my father. My sister told him how our grandfather's milk treated our family and him for so many years ... My father said she was my mother and she gave birth to me. No matter what she has done, she is old, so don't mind!

Later, my dad sent me a WeChat and called me, but I didn't answer. I haven't been home for so many years. As you can imagine, my pro-nurse, when she is old, will call my father whenever something happens. How can my mother stand it! I disagree with my dad. A few days later, I sent him some psychological words on WeChat. The reason why I sent the text is that I hope he can read it several times and have a good look at his heart!

This question has challenged my moral bottom line twice. At first, I was surprised-how can a child's behavior towards his mother be described as "worse than an animal"? I'm stupid, I won't find out who asked the question (can that kind parent teach me? ), I just looked through the comments out of curiosity and found that the real reason surprised me even more-my mother actually seduced a new son-in-law.

Now I finally understand the theme. In fact, she asked everyone, "Can you forgive?" This sentence exposes the subject's inner entanglement-she hates her mother, which is normal! Any woman can't accept that the newlyweds meet, not to mention that the woman is still the mother now!

The reason why the subject came to ask questions-ask everyone, "Can you forgive?" It can be seen that the subject still can't let go of this mother-daughter relationship. If she could let go, she would have turned around and left without asking everyone-"What would you do if you met such a mother?"

At this point, I personally suggest that if possible, take your mother to see a psychiatrist and let professionals diagnose. Will your mother have mental illness? Because the average mother with normal psychology really seems unable to do such behavior!

If there is really a mental illness, the subject will try to forgive his mother-because she is a patient and can't help it!

If there is no mental illness, then you will never forgive your mother. From then on, I think most people can understand you! I guess your mother can accept it-because as a woman, she should be able to anticipate such a result before doing so!

My humble opinion, for reference only, don't spray if you don't like it!

I'm Zhang Rose, a medical woman.

How can you say your mother is not as good as an animal? I don't know you, so I can't judge who you are subjectively. However, one thing I feel is that you have tears on your face and hurt in your heart.

If a person is kind and sunny, even if his mother is not comprehensive, he will selectively forget and remember her goodness. Because, what he knows about a mother's difficulties and her mother's difficulties are not worth mentioning in front of her kindness.

When I was a child, my mother beat me, took off my pants and spanked my ass with the soles of my shoes. I was in pain like a pig, howling loudly. The neighbors can hear the sad cry, and all the neighbors know that my mother beat the child severely.

I have a sister and a brother. Why didn't my sister and brother get beaten, and my mother beat me up? When I grow up, I know a little more, and I deeply feel sorry for my mother: she has to work, take care of the whole family, eat and drink Lazar, sew and mend, and wait on her grandfather to feed him and give him medicine. It's hard for my mother, and I'm still giving her trouble outside? If I don't fight for three days, I can go to the house to uncover the tiles. Shouldn't I call?

If you have brothers and sisters and your mother treats them like you, then maybe your mother really has some problems. If your mother gets along well with other children, then you really have a problem.

In fact, your mother's biggest problem is that she didn't bring up a child with compassion and tolerance.

There is an angel and a devil in a person's heart. Those things that are entangled in my heart still choose to let go. If you can't let go, it's also a good idea to choose to leave far away. Otherwise, the devil will always be with you, and you will always live in pain and resentment.

If what you do is really worse than an animal, of course, don't forgive. My parents divorced when I was one year old. What's even more ridiculous is that my mother doesn't want me, and the custody belongs to my father. I grew up with my grandparents. Now I'm 26 years old and my child is five months old. I don't even know what my mother looks like. Because after the divorce, he never came to see me again and didn't give me any alimony. Actually, his mother's house is not too far from my grandmother's house. I played downstairs when I was young. She just walked past me for a look, and then left like a passer-by. These were told to my grandmother by the neighbors nearby.

Later, my father remarried and moved away, leaving me to live with my grandparents. My grandparents are very kind to me, but this can't replace my mother. I don't hate her, because how can I hate someone I don't know at all? I'm numb to the word mom. Mom is just a word in my heart, with no other meaning.

I can easily find her now, but I won't. Even if she comes to recognize me, I will refuse. Because I'm used to living without my mother, and now I'm old enough to protect myself. I don't need her to disturb my life anymore.

Many people stand on the moral high ground and say, that's your mother. She worked hard to give birth to you anyway. But you know, she has no children. I would rather she didn't have me. You're not us. You won't realize that I don't have my mother's inferiority complex, and you won't realize the pain he caused me when he hurt me, so please don't criticize others without empathy.

Only those who have been injured know how deep the injury is and how deep the pain is. There is no standard for the depth of love and hate between parents. It is also abandonment. Some people are looking for relatives in Wan Li thousands of miles away. I want to find you. Some people have been looking for you all their lives, leaving behind regrets and life-and-death complexes. Call over and over again: mom and dad! There you are, crying, tears running down your cheeks. Some people are close at hand, and they hate to gnash their teeth and forget it.

In the eyes of secular people, they hate the cruelty of their parents and pity the loneliness of their children. But there is no moral kidnapping. Because you have to raise it when you are born, so do natural creatures. It's a natural instinct. Lick your calves. People who are bound by Taoism are not as good as livestock and abandon them.

There is no reason to abandon it here, and it can't be torn open. Parents have not fulfilled their responsibilities, and there is no need to talk about the love between parents and children.

Some people choose to let go of hatred and forgive the past, which is commendable!

Some people can't let go and don't comment on the unforgettable resentment. People's mentality, experience and education level are different, so there is no right or wrong answer.

Abide by the law, live a good life, fulfill the responsibility of being a man, and abide by the moral origin, so that there will be no hatred in the world and the society will be clear.

Hello, friend. The following is the note of an old friend of the counselor. I'm happy to answer your question.

I see some friends want to know what happened and whether they are animals, so it's best to know the problem at hand first. But from this perspective, everyone has a different understanding of what happened.

The same thing, some people will think that animals are inferior, while others will feel nothing.

So from this perspective, everyone sees different things, and finally the result of this question is different.

Then, I want to talk about my views on this issue from some objective angles, hoping to have some reference value for my friends.

Whether it can be done or not is a question of ability. But what is revealed in your friend's question is, after the judgment: should I forgive, should I forgive?

This leads the problem to another direction. But we are willing to think about it, which does not mean that we have the ability to implement it.

Choose to forgive or not to forgive, first of all, we must have a strong ability to accept the result, accept ourselves and adjust ourselves, then we can talk about forgiveness.

Otherwise, we are willing, but we can't forgive, which shows that we still choose not to forgive; At the same time, caught in the contradiction between forgiveness and unforgivability, we will easily be overwhelmed by contradictions.

Therefore, before making a choice, we need to have the ability before we can choose.

The influence of family background is a hot word in recent years. More and more people realize that family background has a great influence on themselves, and they need to get rid of the influence of family background.

So, from this perspective, it seems to be an inevitable choice to forgive my mother for what she did to herself.

Why do you say that?

We are not sure what will happen. We have experienced some bad things, and we can certainly resent those who have done these things to us, but this resentment will always follow us.

Moreover, following is not simply following, but will have an impact on our understanding of the world and making decisions.

Just like this example, if the mother really does something bad for herself, it may make the children play and hurt other women the same age as the mother with revenge. Even when dealing with your other half, you will be mean and controlling.

There are many such examples in real life, some of which are already in prison.

Therefore, please understand that we have the right to hate, but life is only a few decades. It is up to us to choose whether to live with hatred and always be influenced by it, or to get rid of it and rebuild our lives.

Here, my friend, you mentioned whether you forgive your mother. The general logic is indeed like this. My mother hurt me, and I hated her, so before the hatred disappeared, I thought she was the other end of hatred. If revenge is directed at her, forgiveness is directed at her.

But from many examples, some injuries occurred in early years, and parents changed, but as children, they still can't let go of this knot.

Then, what affects us is no longer our parents and their behavior, but our understanding of them in our early experiences and memories.

At this time, whether we want revenge, change or forgiveness, the other party is no longer our parents, but ourselves. Because what affects us is ourselves.

Therefore, from this perspective, it is actually not important not to forgive our parents, because what we have to forgive is ourselves who have experienced those things, ourselves who have experienced hardships, ourselves who have not grown up, and ourselves who are bound by emotions.

The goal is to choose the right one, otherwise even if you choose to forgive, it is only verbal forgiveness, not real forgiveness.

At the same time, if we want to exercise our forgiveness ability, what we have to do is to understand, tolerate, accept, encourage and recognize ourselves again and again, and grow up on this basis, change our cognition and live the present well. In this way, I not only walked out of the influence I once had on myself and reshaped my life, but also won't be greatly influenced by the past without wanting to forgive.

Thank you for reading. I hope my answer will help you see the real world clearly. Best wishes.

Absolutely unforgivable!

I'm here to talk about things around me in the first person, which is a typical case of preference for boys over girls in rural areas.

I am 30 years old and I am the mother of two children. As long as I can remember, I have heard from my playmates or classmates that I was a child who was picked up. Every time I hear them say that I don't want to lie in my mother's arms and cry and ask her who I was born. Who is my mother? Mom always said silly child, you were born to me, and I am your mother! They say you are a wild child, and so are you. They are wild children! Anyone who dares to say that you picked it up will be stripped!

That's what mom said and did! My friend and I had a quarrel while playing with sandbags. Several people shouted in unison that the wild child we found shot at me. I cried. My mother heard the noise and came with a stick in her hand. As soon as they saw it, they started to run, but my mother still ran after them, scaring them to flee everywhere and promising never to bully me again! Since then, no one has dared to call me a wild child to my face.

I have the love of my parents, my brothers and sisters are more than ten years older than me, and I have no worries about food and clothing. I grew up happily and successfully passed the college entrance examination. The moment I received the admission notice, my dear illiterate old mother asked me to read it to her with tears in her eyes!

Then I finally knew that I had found it: in the summer morning, I was awakened in my sleep, and there was a faint cry from my mother downstairs, accompanied by another woman's scolding. I gently approached the window and listened. After more than an hour, I finally knew that my biological mother wanted me! I rushed downstairs, hugged my unkempt mother, pointed to the woman, and gave the marching orders. ...

My brother and sister are afraid that I can't accept this fact, and they have been with me to enlighten and comfort me. I also figured out how I came to this world, this happy family: my biological mother is my mother's youngest sister, and she was brought up by my mother. I have depended on her since I was a child. Later, after I got married, I was always a born girl and gave them away one by one. Later, I got pregnant, and I didn't abort it when I was diagnosed by B-ultrasound. After I was born, I wanted to give it away immediately. My mom and dad said you gave them away one by one, and I died (there was another one above me). I haven't finished yet. My real father yelled at my father that you had a son at home. It's easy for you to stand and talk! Don't worry about my house, this girl will definitely send it! Otherwise, my family won't have a chance to have children! I wrapped it in an old coat and prepared to send it away before dawn. At that time, my brothers and sisters took my mother and said not to send my sister away. My mother picked me up without hesitation and pulled my brother and sister back overnight.

Our family is very poor in the countryside. It was originally two brothers and sisters, and there was a little guy who just landed. My parents work harder. My biological father was a salesman, and he was also a very rich family. Later, he really realized their son's dream. Ever since my parents took me home, they have been holding a grudge, on the grounds that all the money was given, but they were out of sight!

I don't know what brought me to college, and I'm not ashamed to ask my daughter! It is said that my biological mother's son has been spoiled since childhood and has developed a domineering temper. He didn't play truant until the first day of junior high school after reading, fooling around with a group of irresponsible buddies in society, and my biological parents stamped their feet with anger to no avail.

I am really lucky. I don't deserve to die. If the doctor who did the B-ultrasound said it was a girl, I also had a drug abortion. If my biological father had sent me here, I would have died! I am very happy to come to my parents' home, a happy and warm home. Let me grow up happily, get married and have children. Only when I raise my children will I know my parents' kindness. My parents raised me, and I grew old with them.

I will never forgive my real mother in my life. She never let me find a place to forgive her. Her behavior can only be said to be worse than an animal!

I am the one who will never forgive him.

10 years old, parents divorced. I am a girl, and I can remember it when I was seven or eight years old. At that time, my family lived in the countryside, and my father fell in love with a neighbor next door. Then he started hitting me and my mother in various ways. Because I am a girl, son preference makes me not valued. He drinks every day, and when he drinks too much, he beats me and my mother and pulls my mother's hair off the kang. He was drinking at home and told me not to go out. Maybe it's because my mother and daughter are one. I sneaked out and found my mother waiting for me in the corner of my neighbor's house, asking me to go and find him. Because I was afraid that he would hit me again after drinking too much, I went to my mother. As a result, we were afraid to go home, so I spent the night behind the big oil drum in the neighbor's yard. I will never forget the scene where my mother held me. My mother is an honest person. At that time, the whole village knew about his affair with the woman next door. Later, he went too far and took this woman home to sleep with me and my mother. My mother picked up a kitchen knife angrily and said, if you dare to come in, I will chop you to death. I was scared to tears. Later, I encouraged my mother, and I said, Mom, get married. I was only 10 years old at that time. I remember they did it when they went through the formalities in the morning. My mother has been crying until this year. I am 30 years old and have a happy family of my own. Twenty years later, we live in the same city and district, and occasionally meet, but he will only look at me from a distance and dare not talk to me. I think he will be the most annoying person in my life. It is really unforgivable to bring me into this world and make my childhood full of shadows.

This is my real experience. I hope that netizens who have different opinions don't spray.