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The mother-in-law is powerful. How to treat it?
How to treat a mother-in-law who is strong? As the saying goes, "every family has its own problems." In the family, most of the contradictions and conflicts between the two generations come from the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which makes many people shake their heads and sigh when they mention it. How to treat the strong and powerful mother-in-law below?
The mother-in-law is powerful. How to cure 1 1 and treat your mother-in-law as a mother?
Daughter-in-law should remember that her mother-in-law is also a woman and treat her mother-in-law as a mother, because only mothers in the world will not be jealous of you. Although it is impossible, if you have this mentality, you will try to understand the sadness and loss in your mother-in-law's heart, and then you can win her heart.
2. If your mother-in-law is strong, you will be weak.
Strong people are usually used to being strong. She must control everything. She's in charge. She's the only one who follows. Treating such a mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law will pretend to be a lamb. Leave everything to her, and she naturally has no chance to get angry. There is no need to fight to the death. Don't care too much, after all, people are elders, and it doesn't matter if we suffer a little.
There must be no confrontation between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
It is unwise to take a hard line with your mother-in-law. If there is conflict, take the initiative to ease the atmosphere. If you irritate this powerful mother-in-law, on the one hand, she will be embarrassed on her face, and on the other hand, she can't bear it psychologically. I think if you dare to despise her so much, she will definitely pay you back twice in the future.
4. Communicate with your mother-in-law.
If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together, they might as well communicate more. People who look strong actually have their own pains and sorrows. When you understand her difficulties, you may understand her present performance.
There are some things that make my husband stand out.
Mother-in-law, a pair of natural enemies. Especially in the face of a strong mother-in-law, it is even more necessary for the wife to swallow her voice. If you have something to tell her, it's best to infiltrate it through your husband's lubricant. All you have to do is be a well-behaved daughter-in-law.
6. Never insult your husband in front of your mother-in-law.
No matter what kind of mother-in-law, she must care about her precious son the most; No matter how much your husband loves you and dotes on you, or how angry you are, you can't beat and scold your husband in front of your mother-in-law, even if it's just a fight. She will be unhappy, and the consequences will be serious.
7. Keep a bowl of soup at a distance.
The most reasonable distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the distance of a bowl of soup. In other words, you make a bowl of soup and serve it to her. When it was served, it was neither too hot nor too cold, just right for her to drink.
8. Don't care about trifles.
Don't care too much about your family, even if there are some minor contradictions and disputes, don't take them to heart, let alone hold grudges against each other and let bygones be bygones. Don't say mother-in-law, even your own mother will have a little friction, be generous, be free and easy, don't think too much, and some things will pass with a smile.
9. Mother-in-law always buys the best.
Many powerful mothers-in-law have such a characteristic that what they buy is always the best. The same is to buy clothes for children. She loves to wear it when she buys it, but what her daughter-in-law bought doesn't fit her. Poor material, too fancy,,, in short, everything is for her good! Don't be a wife, just do what she says.
10, it is right for mother-in-law to look after her grandson.
Many posts on the internet say that it is not good for her mother-in-law to bring her grandson. Actually, there's no need to do this. Grandma loves her grandchildren. She helped look after the children, and his wife just praised them. She always agrees to buy food and clothes.
1 1, let the children do a good job.
Old people like children, so they always talk about children in front of their mother-in-law, such as children's study, children's mischief and children's progress. All these will increase the topic of mother-in-law and inadvertently narrow the distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
12, cultivate * * * with hobbies
It would be better if you and your mother-in-law have the same hobbies, such as walking, cooking and knitting. * * * The same hobby will make two people closer and easier to get along with.
13, have their own opinions.
You should have your own views on your work. Don't stop acting when your mother-in-law says no. You should stick to what you insist on doing. You can tell her the benefits of doing so. If she understands, she may support you. Be patient when you speak, and don't look impatient and hurried, which will only aggravate contradictions.
14, grateful to my mother-in-law
My mother-in-law is my husband's mother, so we should treat her with a grateful heart. She mentioned our partner. Don't be hostile to her. We should be filial to her. Even if we do something wrong, we should be humble to her. Respecting the elderly is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation.
How to treat a mother-in-law who is strong? What if the mother-in-law is too strong?
1, know how to show weakness in time.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is getting worse and worse, which is often caused by the refusal of both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to show weakness on one issue. Even if one side wins the result after the quarrel, it will leave a bad impression on the other side, laying the groundwork for the long-term "tearing" of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
As a daughter-in-law, it is a part of filial piety to give in to the elders morally. Even if you dare not be unwilling, you should know how to show weakness in front of your elders at the right time, so as not to let the contradictions continue to intensify. Although the mother-in-law is very strong, she can also feel your humility to her, and of course it will not aggravate you.
2, don't compete with it.
After all, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not enemies, and there is no need to be incompatible. Although your mother-in-law's strength will make you very dissatisfied, if you copy her mother-in-law's mistakes to yourself, wouldn't it be pot calling the kettle black? Since you think you are broad-minded, don't force yourself to be cruel, always keep your own nature and give your mother-in-law more tolerance.
3. husbands who have different opinions will mention it.
Since disagreement between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is prone to disputes, try to avoid direct confrontation and convey your opinions indirectly from your husband to your mother-in-law. No matter how strong her mother-in-law is, she won't wink at her son face to face, so you'll be out of sight, out of mind, right? Furthermore, if your husband loves you (it would be tragic if it is Ma Baonan), he will also help you convince her mother and point out her mother's weakness of being too strong, which is definitely the best candidate to reconcile your relationship with her mother-in-law.
4. Respect your elders at all times.
No matter how strong your mother-in-law is, after all, she is your elder and your husband's most important relative, so it is also a basic moral character to respect your elders first in everything. You can't treat your mother-in-law casually like your peers, let alone scold her mother-in-law in the street. You should take defeating her as your goal in life. You should know that you respect your mother-in-law, and her mother-in-law will respect you. This is a mutual relationship, and often the deterioration of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has a lot to do with saying something disrespectful. Although her mother-in-law is strong, don't lose your manners.
How to deal with a mother-in-law who is too strong?
First, she is strong and you are weak.
Strong people are usually used to being strong. She must control everything. She's in charge. She's the only one who follows. Treating such a mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law will pretend to be a lamb. Leave everything to her, and she naturally has no chance to get angry. There is no need to fight to the death.
Second, have your own income.
If the mother-in-law is too strong, the daughter-in-law does not intend to tolerate her. What the daughter-in-law should pay attention to at this time is that she must use her mother-in-law's money less. Many daughters-in-law do not go to work by themselves, but rely on their husbands, even their parents-in-law. Such a daughter-in-law can't lift her head. As the saying goes, "holding hands is short." Daughter-in-law has her own financial resources, so she has the confidence to talk with her husband's family.
Third, try not to live with your mother-in-law.
There is a saying that "distance produces beauty". Everyone needs their own space. Now that you are married, you can't rely on your parents. They should live apart as much as possible. This can avoid a lot of bumps and naturally reduce the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Of course, you have to ask your parents-in-law for permission.
Fourth, be kind to your husband in front of your in-laws.
Many men still love their wives, but the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often not good. Ever wonder why? Because the mother-in-law loves her son dearly and has such a big son, she doesn't want to be bossed around by her daughter-in-law. It is inevitable that she will be uncomfortable and biased against her daughter-in-law. In fact, although the mother-in-law is a little stingy, the daughter-in-law can also avoid such disharmony between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law can be very kind to her husband in front of others, so as long as her husband loves you, it's easy to say that you can't do anything you want him to do for you.
What should I do if I meet a bad mother-in-law
1, don't be weak to the evil mother-in-law;
A daughter-in-law meets an evil mother-in-law, thinking that weakness can make her restrain her strong behavior. Here, I want you to correct this concept, because your ideal is perfect and the reality is very skinny. Why must you not be weak when you meet an unreasonable mother-in-law? People receive different education in different times. Sometimes it is impossible to reason with the older generation. Some mothers-in-law will think that their daughter-in-law is afraid of her and will say whatever she says.
2. Don't make noise when dealing with evil mother-in-law;
Of course, in the face of her mother-in-law's harsh words, most women can't stand it and can only talk to each other. It's understandable that I can't stand my mother-in-law's vicious words, but if I want to solve the problem and resolve the contradiction, this kind of quarrel will only increase the cracks and do no good.
In fact, the best way to deal with quarrels is to be polite. First, do your own thing, so that your mother-in-law is impeccable, and then find someone who is familiar with her mother-in-law to be a lobbyist, and gradually change her mother-in-law's habits. Secondly, the husband is the key. If her mother-in-law is unreasonable and obedient, she will feel bored. If you don't have a conflict with your mother-in-law, she will take the initiative to deal with it.
3, don't provoke the contradiction between husband and mother-in-law:
It is normal for a man to have conflicts with two women who love him. Creating a harmonious family atmosphere requires men to play a major role, but at the same time it also requires the reason of either side between you and your mother-in-law. A smart woman will let her husband get close to her, not please her. Family is not a gang, but a life. Many women blow pillows and say that many mothers-in-law are not. The purpose is to woo her husband to deal with her mother-in-law.
If you have such an idea, you are doomed to be a mediocre woman without any wisdom. We should learn to avoid conflicts and gently persuade our husband and mother-in-law to have conflicts. Let your husband feel that you are filial to his mother and that you are the person he respects most, so that he can help maintain the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more wholeheartedly.
The way of getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
First, even relatives should draw a clear line. Draw a clear line between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. Things within the bottom line can be discussed well, but things outside the bottom line should be handled according to the rules. Mother-in-law can ask about the marriage of two people, but she can't interfere in the private life of her son and daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law should also consciously ask her mother-in-law's privacy. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not only two people, but also represent two families. Only when the two companies draw a clear line can they develop better.
Second, learn to respect each other. Both of them have the right to say "no". Although it is natural to respect the elders, everyone has the right to say "no". A mother-in-law should not rely on her seniority to interfere excessively in her son's private life and force her son to do things according to her own ideas. Daughter-in-law should also consciously respect filial mother-in-law. Don't think that it is natural for a mother-in-law to do housework and take care of her children. She should treat her mother-in-law with a grateful heart.
Third, the mother-in-law only has the right to suggest, but not to decide. The elders should create a relaxed and happy living environment for the younger generation, especially on the issues of work, marriage and raising children, bearing in mind that they only have the right to make suggestions, but not to make decisions. Remember that you can't always take the high attitude of your elders to teach your younger generation a lesson. When there is a problem of how to raise and educate a child, the opinions of the child's biological parents shall prevail.
Fourth, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should have a correct understanding of each other's identity and status. It is a fact that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to deal with for thousands of years, so we should not expect too much from it, and certainly not too low. It should be clearly understood that the mother-in-law is not the biological mother, and the daughter-in-law is not the biological daughter. Daughter-in-law should not expect her mother-in-law to tolerate her mistakes like her own mother, and her mother-in-law should not learn from her daughter-in-law like her own daughter.
Five, the two sides open their hearts and talk openly. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is different from that of ordinary friends. Don't always expect the other party to open up to you after the conflict arises. What we can do is to ask each other's feelings and express our opinions sincerely. In this way, two people can understand each other's real thoughts, and there will be no contradiction because of misunderstanding.
The mother-in-law is powerful. How to eradicate three types of mother-in-law that daughter-in-law hates most;
First, the mother-in-law is in charge of everything.
Usually such a mother-in-law is a strong person and may be used to being the master at home. At home, she should not only have absolute right to speak, but also love to pretend to be an elder. Everyone in the family should listen to themselves and take care of everything. You should listen to all the big and small things in your life, and so should your daughter-in-law. Otherwise, you are ignorant or don't know how to respect your elders, which is naturally unacceptable to your daughter-in-law
Second, the mother-in-law with serious traditional ideas.
Generally, the thoughts of elders will definitely be different from those of young people, and their thoughts are indeed more traditional, but after all, the times are developing, and if the traditional thoughts are too serious, it will also affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. A mother-in-law with deep-rooted traditional ideas is used to judging her daughter-in-law with the ideas of the older generation. She will not like all her words and deeds, and may not be able to stand her dress style. Once she sees such a situation, she can't help nagging. How much do you really know about how to get along between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
How should a mother-in-law treat her daughter-in-law;
First, don't speak ill of your daughter-in-law
Although the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had nothing to do with each other, they were bound by a man, who was the most intimate of the two women, so many times the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were mostly related to this man. The most unbearable thing for a daughter-in-law is that her mother-in-law speaks ill of herself behind her back, especially in front of her son, which has a great influence on their marriage and is not conducive to family harmony. A few secrets teach your mother-in-law how to get along well and get along more harmoniously!
Second, don't worry about your daughter-in-law spending money.
In fact, many mother-in-law are like this, and they can't hide their daughter-in-law from spending money on this and that. In their minds, the daughter-in-law seems to be an outsider forever, and spending money always feels that the daughter-in-law is too extravagant. But in the daughter-in-law's mind, her own money and her husband's money are the same property of husband and wife, and there is nothing wrong with spending her own money. On the contrary, I feel that my mother-in-law cares too much, so a good mother-in-law should not restrain her daughter-in-law so much, but treat her daughter-in-law as a member of her own family from the heart.
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