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What are the ways for families to educate children to grow up?
Family education methods for children's growth
Parents lead by example. If parents want to educate their children well, they should set an example and let them form good habits. For example, when eating rice, parents should teach their children to be frugal and not waste a grain of rice. First of all, you should make sure that you have finished all the rice in the bowl, so that even if you don't tell the child, the child will follow after a long time.
You can reprimand the child, but don't punish the child. When children make mistakes, parents should not punish them casually, which will cast a shadow over them. Instead, we should persuade first and reprimand first. For example, if a child has a bad temper and throws away a good steamed bread, parents should immediately let the child pick it up, otherwise he will not be allowed to eat it, and tell him to throw steamed bread again and be punished. In this way, children usually consciously pick up steamed bread.
3. Encourage and praise children. The child's self-esteem is also very strong, and sometimes an insult can make him feel bad for a long time. On the contrary, encouraging him more will make children full of vitality. For example, children help parents clean the table, and parents will praise their children and say, You are great! How diligent! No one is more sensible than XXX. In this way, the child will be very happy and may help mop the floor.
4. Find some good children to be role models for children. Children are very competitive. When other children do what they want to do, they often do what they want to do. Therefore, when educating children, try to find some diligent and sensible children to be role models. For example, children often stay in bed, and parents can say: I will get up and recite poems before dawn tomorrow. I'm so good that no one can catch up with him. In this way, the children will be inspired and refreshed, and they will compete with Xiao Ming to see who gets up early.
5. Reward in time. Children should be punished for making mistakes, but they should get more rewards for doing well. This can greatly improve children's self-confidence and enthusiasm. For example, if a child gets a perfect score in an exam, or wins a prize in a ship model competition or a piano competition, parents should reward the child with some practical prizes, such as big plush toys, so that the child will be proud and more confident in doing things.
Skills and Cases of Family Education
1, divert attention: put the child right? Question? The attention of behavior shifts to helping parents do things or interesting things:
Appropriate: a problem that is not too serious or accidental.
Case: Children take the goods on the shelves at random in the supermarket.
Counterexample (parent):? If you make trouble again, I'll see what I can do to you when your father comes! ?
Positive example (parents):? Baby, please help me choose the three reddest apples! ?
2, clearly express the position of strong disagreement (but don't attack the child's personality), let the child understand the influence of the problem itself:
Suitability: the behavior has serious consequences and needs to be corrected in time, with a clear attitude.
Case: Children are running around in the supermarket.
Counterexample (parent):? It's reckless of you not to watch TV at night! ?
Positive example (parents):? I don't like you like this! Children running around in the aisle will interfere with other people's shopping! ?
3. Show your expectations: Don't excessively pursue the mistakes that have happened, and show your expectations for your child's next walk.
Suitability: the problem has little influence and belongs to subjective or unintentional behavior.
Case: The child lost the toy he took out from home.
Counterexample:? Why did you lose your toy again? Don't you ever take them out again! ?
Positive example:? I hope you can take good care of your toy and let it go home with you next time! ?
4. Provide choices: provide children with reasonable and acceptable choices and give them a sense of respect, not compulsion.
Suitability: the behavior is stubborn, but there are alternatives; It can also be used as a suggestion to guide children to start some kind of action.
Case: Children are running around in the supermarket.
Counterexample (parent):? If you run around again, I won't send you home! ?
Positive example (parents):? Kiki, don't run! Give you a choice. Either walk or take the shopping cart. It's up to you. ?
Case: The child is watching TV and doesn't want to take a bath.
Counterexample (parent):? Take a bath quickly, or I'll turn off the TV if you don't come! ?
Positive example (parents):? Would you rather tell two stories after taking a shower now, or watch TV now and have no time to tell stories after taking a shower? You choose! ?
5. Tell children how to make up for their mistakes.
Suitability: an event that leads to mistakes due to ignorance and needs to supplement children's relevant common sense.
Case: When a child paints with a watercolor pen, he puts the pen without a cap on the sofa and dyes a large piece of color.
Counterexample (parent):? Look what you've done. Don't use watercolor pens in the future! ?
Positive example (parents):? Look at the sofa. Cover the pen cap after use and put it on the table! ?
The importance of family education to children's growth
First, education begins at home, and children go from home to school? Graduation? After entering traditional schools, primary schools and middle schools.
In the school of family, the most important teacher is parents, the most important course is to cultivate habits and attitudes, and the most important teaching material is parents' words and deeds.
The attitude mentioned here refers to the child's initial attitude towards others and learning. They are willing to get along with friends, interested in things, curious, willing to accept knowledge and eager to learn, and so on. As for how many Chinese characters and loanwords you know before going to school, how many poems of Tang and Song Dynasties you have memorized, how many arithmetic problems you have done and how many liberal arts you have studied, these are all very important, but they are not the most important, because they are all learned in subsequent school studies and even in future work and life, as long as he or she has a subjective desire to learn. Habits and attitudes are the external manifestations of children's early personality. Habits and attitudes, that is, children's graduation grades at home and school, have a great influence on children's future study at school.
Family education determines whether children are excellent in school, and the differences between children in school reflect the achievements of early family education, even success or failure.
Second, any advantages and disadvantages of children can be found in parents.
The influence of parents on their offspring is enormous and profound, which is the result of the replication and transmission of family cultural genes. The process of reproduction and transmission is that parents' words and deeds are deeply imprinted in children's minds. We usually say that children are a mirror of their parents, which means that children inevitably carry the cultural genes of their parents or families or even families.
In Beijing No.4 Middle School, we know through investigation that 80% of students think their moral quality depends on their parents' influence, 70% think their views on social reality come from their parents' influence, about 60% think their parents' cultural literacy, personality and attitude towards work and life have great influence on them, and only about 20% think their parents' social status and family's economic income are very important to them.
These facts tell us that the education and influence of family is irreplaceable by school and society. What we usually call the influence of society on children is largely the influence of society on children through families or parents. Family is an important line of defense against social adverse effects, and it is also the first line of defense.
Third, the family will decide whether the children will be happy in the future.
Marriage is an important foundation of family, and a happy marriage and loving couples are the source of family happiness. A long-term study by Harvard University shows that a successful marriage can bring lasting happiness to children.
Harmonious relationship between husband and wife and loving family members are the most important conditions for children's happy growth. Children living in a stable marriage will have better academic performance and fewer emotional and behavioral problems. Love, understanding, care, support and tolerance between husband and wife not only help to build a happy family and let children enjoy the joy of being loved, but also cultivate their excellent qualities such as love, thoughtfulness, kindness and tolerance. A half-century study by Harvard University shows that children who have a warm and harmonious relationship with their parents are almost 50% less likely to suffer from various serious diseases decades later.
Fourth, family education will have a far-reaching impact on future generations.
As the saying goes? No more than three generations? 、? Fifth, beheading? It means that those families that lack excellent traditions have declined. But there are also many families with excellent traditions in China, such as the Zeng family, the Liang family and the Qian family. We can understand the cultural traditions of these families by reading Liang Qichao's letters and Zeng Guofan's family instructions. The most important reason why these families can flourish and have talented people is that they have endless excellent family cultural traditions.
We often say that the Excellence of parents determines the Excellence of children. The excellent parents mentioned here do not mean that their parents have high academic qualifications, or graduated from famous universities, or have prominent social status, but that excellent parents should have excellent characters, such as honesty, kindness, tolerance, simplicity, diligence, thrift, courage, tenacity, enthusiasm, professionalism, love of learning, initiative, optimism, Excellence, and enthusiasm for helping others. Education is essentially a process in which humanity, character and spirit are copied and passed on by the next generation. Therefore, without excellent parents, we can hardly expect this family to produce excellent offspring. Children's growth is influenced by parents, parents are influenced by the previous generation, and the previous generation is influenced by the previous generation and passed down from generation to generation. In the final analysis, all members of a family grow up under the influence of family cultural atmosphere.
When I was a teacher, there was a family near the school, and a couplet was engraved on the gate of the yard. Will you win the inheritance if you keep your virginity? . This couplet is deeply imprinted in my heart. With the development and progress of society, some old things are always replaced by new things. However, I always feel that some things cannot be thrown away. What is this? I think it should be the cultural gene left in our blood by our ancestors.
We should leave a rich spiritual legacy for future generations. Each of us is doomed to leave this world, and no one can live forever. The only way to live forever is to pass on the beautiful morality, spirit and family style to future generations forever, making it a continuous cultural blood of a family.
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