What are the three things that a mother should never do when a child wants to buy everything?

Taking children to the supermarket is a very annoying thing for mothers, because children want to buy everything they see, and if they don't buy it, they will splash it on the street. Every time they go shopping, it becomes a tug-of-war between mother and child. Mothers shudder at the thought of the terrible scene of children sitting on the ground crying. In fact, for this matter, many parents are only entangled in the surface, that is, whether to buy it for their children, and rarely realize that its essence is a "power struggle" between children and parents.

Scene 1: The mother compromised and the child won.

Ma Bao Xiaotian and her children are waiting in line at the checkout counter. Suddenly, the child was interested in a piece of chewing gum on the shelf, so he grabbed two boxes and stuffed them into the shopping cart. Xiao Tian took out the chewing gum and put it back, and stressed to the child that there was still a box of chewing gum at home, and it was not allowed to buy it again, but the child would not listen. They keep telling mom not to take out the gum. After a while, she went to Xiaotian to settle the bill and had to give up compromise.

In Xiao Tian's power struggle with her children, it was obvious that her mother was the winner, but the children obviously refused to accept the debt and adopted tricks. In the end, her mother compromised and ended up with the child's victory. Although parents think it is only an emergency once or twice, after a long time, the child's appetite will grow. When children's desires are infinitely satisfied, they will become exclusive and ignore the rules.

Scene 2: Let yourself cry. Mom wins.

Recently, Xiaomei suddenly became very sensible and clever, and people around her were curious. Xiaomei's mother said that all this benefited from her "cruel education". When visiting the supermarket, Xiaomei is always attracted by some strange but low cost-effective things. Her mother's attitude is to ignore it. No matter how Xiaomei cries, her mother is indifferent. When the child knows that crying is useless, she naturally won't want it again.

Xiaomei tried to threaten her mother by crying, but she didn't succeed because of her mother's indifference. The power struggle ended in her victory. Although it seems that the mother won, it was the desire in the child's heart that lost. If a child's emotional needs are ignored, she will lose herself in the future and become a Nuo Nuo-only person who lacks independent opinions.

Scene 3: reprimand face to face, and mom wins.

When her mother took Genie Chen to the supermarket, Genie Chen repeatedly challenged her mother's bottom line. Every time he puts something in, her mother takes it out again. After repeated several times, her mother lost patience and scolded him loudly, while Genie Chen adopted the strategy of scrolling search, and her mother refused. She came straight up and slapped him twice. Genie Chen was under control, and her mother won. In this power struggle, the rule is "whoever is strong will listen to him". This time, the child's tug-of-war and rolling tactics failed, and the mother won after using "very necessary" means. On the surface, the child has been suspended, but next time he will fight for power in a more intense way, such as running away from home.

It can be seen that when parents and children are caught in a "power struggle", they will form a state of zero-sum game, that is, what one party gets will be lost by the other party, but from the perspective of children's psychological development, they actually lose each other and there is no winner. So how to avoid the power struggle between parents and children?

In the matter of shopping, adults think that children don't know anything, and it should be decided by adults whether to buy or not. But in children's minds, buying this and that is actually to get rid of their parents' desire for control. Unfortunately, parents can't read their children's minds, so in order to avoid the power struggle between parents and children, parents should let go of their control over their children, give them the right to choose appropriately, let them know the consequences of different choices, learn to compare choices and give up appropriately.