Does the man on a blind date care about me or not?

Feelings are mutual, not one-sided

Don’t mistake politeness for liking

Don’t mistake politeness for flattery.

In blind dates, I never say whether someone is worthy or not, only whether I like them or not, and whether they are suitable for them.

If you don’t like something and it’s not suitable for you, please say so. Not wasting other people’s feelings is the greatest tolerance.

If it suits me, I won’t care what material things the other person has.

If it doesn’t suit me, I won’t care what materials the other person has.

If I am suitable for you, I won’t care if the other person is better than my ex.

If I am not suitable, I won’t care if the other person is better than my ex.

The difficulty of blind dates is that I think blind dates only provide an opportunity to get to know each other, and then even if it is successful, every step of love must be taken. You can understand each other in the early stage, take a look first, and talk first. , the boy's initiative is just to provide a prerequisite for mutual understanding, so in the final analysis, it is only after understanding that we can have a choice.

But girls have different understandings in this regard. It is often boys who choose girls, and girls give boys a chance to get to know each other. Even if they have never met, girls often require that the boy likes her in advance before he can fall in love with her. Continuing to talk has resulted in differences in concepts between men and women. There is no common understanding and different standards of judgment, which has only caused a lot of trouble and misunderstandings.

Another point is: the boy's initiative will make the woman mistakenly think that the man wants to marry her immediately, which will scare the woman. But the man's idea is that if he doesn't take the initiative, he will be a stranger. As a human being, the process of at least understanding no longer exists, so how can we judge whether it is good or bad? . Another problem arises when boys take the initiative. Boys' initiative often destroys girls' perceptual understanding and generates negative perceptual feedback, which has the effect of lowering scores. On the contrary, it is easier to chat with girls who rely on attraction.

Your own attitude must be correct and serious. Whether others can be correct and serious is their business, but we can be ourselves and not treat or wrong anyone.

Memory affects cognition, and cognition rests on memory.

So the quality of your experienced memories will directly affect the quality of your cognition.

Cognition is very subjective, and everyone’s cognition is an inherent attribute of the correctness of their own stance and thinking

I have always insisted that there is no ideology in the attitude. Prejudice, even if there is a high chance that the other person is not suitable, I will still insist on getting in touch and try my best not to accuse anyone unfairly.

So just like what my dad said, I took my blind date too seriously, which had the opposite effect.

An overly correct attitude is not necessarily a good thing. It is similar to what is said in philosophy: excessive pursuit of perfection is a thinking limitation brought about by human perceptual thinking and a manifestation of over-the-top thinking.

But the sacred moral law in my heart does not allow myself not to take it seriously. .

Public practice has proved that there is a very interesting question, which is "When interacting with girls, it is most taboo to treat them based on the object as the standard at the beginning, and treat them as ordinary friends." Because girls If you know you are dating someone, you will raise your psychological standards and chat threshold without limit. If you are just an ordinary friend, you will not have any requirements and your chatting attitude will be very correct. On the other hand, the attitudes of the girls who chat with each other based on the target are very different. They either don't reply for a long time, or have various attitudes, which invisibly increases the difficulty of understanding. Of course, if the other party doesn't want to understand at all, that's another matter.

At the same time, it is easier to communicate with those who have met than those who have not met, because if you like it, you can chat, and if you don't like it, you can just stop talking. There is basically no such thing as "three no-nos".

The most avoidable way to communicate is to introduce someone through WeChat, but the evaluation criteria are different for different purposes. Although WeChat has the lowest success rate, its screening method is the most advanced because you can screen out most of the people with improper attitudes. And people who don’t have enough self-cultivation.

During a blind date, if the other person is chatting well with you, but at the same time you find that the other person’s focus is not on you, and they frequently post irrelevant comments and social media posts,

It means that she (he) may have someone she likes, and she (he) hopes that the person she likes will pay more attention to herself or give her likes.

We like honest people and hate hypocrites. But in fact, we just like this kind of personality setting, but this is not the case in reality. In reality, we like people who talk to make us happy, and it has nothing to do with being frank and hypocritical. So we should deeply reflect on this situation.

When a girl is hesitating between being interested in your photos and not being interested in them (and there are potential better candidates) at this time, if you chat with her every day, she may find you annoying and occupying her every day. It takes a lot of time, but you should be considerate of her. If you don't chat with her every day, she will be unhappy. She will feel that you don't miss her, don't like her enough, and may even suspect that you have a tendency to be cold and violent.

There is a huge gap between girls’ cognition and boys’ cognition, especially those who have never met. Girls think that letting go is: giving men a chance to pursue themselves, because in girls’ cognition, the man must like him first. For yourself, you must first work hard to chat with yourself, otherwise you will never find the other person, lest you lose value (after all, both parties have no emotional basis or impression basis). . . .

The boys' reluctance is: it's better if they can chat, and forget it if they can't. They don't force themselves or the other party (after all, both parties have no emotional basis or impression basis).

A person who doesn’t like you won’t care about your feelings. Even if he treats you perfunctorily and doesn’t reply to you, making you feel uncomfortable or sad, he will only care about his own feelings, even if you put down your dignity. Even face can't match his dignity.

When a boy feels that he is just letting things go, it means he is really letting things go. When a girl talks about letting go, she usually means who pursues her more fiercely.

Relationships really don’t depend on chasing, but on mutual attraction.

In the contemporary social background, the psychological requirements of girls who have no emotional basis for choosing a mate are the psychological requirements of ideal circumstances. Because there is no emotional prerequisite, the requirements are often in an ideal state, a perfect state.

But the reality is that many people will lower their requirements appropriately after they have a relationship foundation.

Some people say that this does not distinguish between men and women.

But I found that there are still differences between boys and girls. Especially when the resource conditions are fixed, the initial standard values ????of boys and girls in choosing a mate are different, or even opposite.

The initial threshold for boys is set very low and will gradually increase later. For girls, the initial threshold is set very high and will gradually decrease later.

This creates difficulties in blind dates. The woman sets high standards at the forefront, often blocking the road to communication and understanding.

And boys set low standards in front of them, making girls mistakenly think that boys want to set themselves, but they don’t know that boys are slowly understanding and measuring them.

When the other person will not appreciate you no matter what, it means that you are not the same kind of people. You should go your separate ways as soon as possible. Maybe sometimes it is true that he deserves better, you. It also deserves something better. There is no need to lower each other's requirements and make do with each other.

It is generally found that those who can chat well are those who meet first, because there are two situations after meeting:

The first one is that you can chat even if you don’t close your eyes ( Anyway, it’s not appropriate anymore, there is no interest relationship involved, we can talk about anything).

The second type: After closing my eyes, I am interested in continuing to solve the problem, so I continue to chat. If you can’t close your eyes, just stop talking, which can cut off the time cost in time.

It is not advisable to have too deep feelings when chatting on WeChat, because if you have a good conversation and find that you don’t like each other in the end, both parties will be more or less sad. After all, they have been chatting for so long and the conversation is so good. It's a pity that it didn't work out in the end. Therefore, it is recommended that the chat should not be too long, try to spend as little time as possible to meet first, and then gradually get to know each other in depth if appropriate.

Only when you have the intention to understand can you continue. It must be two-way. If it is only one-sided, you will not be able to continue.

In fact, as long as a boy looks clean, his facial features are not ugly, and he is not short, and as long as he pursues girls with all his heart, girls are basically willing to accept him. The key is to make him feel a sense of belonging and make her feel that you like her enough that you can lower her requirements or change things like that.

Even if I know this, I can’t do it, because it is also a manifestation of deception. I don’t know what kind of person the other person is. I can’t do these behaviors because the time spent together or chatting is too long. No, the man is also judging what kind of person the woman is. It’s understandable if he likes her more, but it’s not something she has to do, but it’s not to this extent. Sometimes, when you restrain yourself from expressing your emotions, you are not afraid of failure, but because you are afraid that if you find out later that she is not suitable for you and reject the other person at that time, how uncomfortable it will be for the other person! After all, you have invested your feelings. Many times you just want to know more and have more contact, and you don't even dare to move the other person. But with such behavior, the other person feels that you are not reliable enough and refuses to understand you anymore.

My dad often says: Don’t take a blind date too seriously. You can chat with several girls at the same time to know which one is better.

I said "ok"

But in fact I can't do it, although I know clearly that being serious will disgust sexual attraction, and even being serious will reduce your charm. Girls even hate being serious. But I still have to persist until I meet someone who is not averse to seriousness, or who is also serious.

Even though I knew it was not very suitable, I went to see her in Hainan, which is more than 5-600 kilometers away. My relatives asked her why she was so far-sighted. I touched my head and smiled and said: Did you promise her? ! Sorry not to go.

But actually what I am thinking is: I am giving myself an explanation and giving the other person an explanation and respect, because others have also chatted with me for a long time, and they have a good chat, even if they are not suitable for each other. We need to meet again.