Why do I hate being called a "good guy" so much?

Baidu Encyclopedia gave us an explanation, referring to being easy-going and kind, gentle in character, unwilling to offend others and refusing others.

There are too many fears in life, so it is more and more difficult to follow your heart and refuse others correctly.

It's hard to be a good person, and it's even harder to be a "good person". When you don't want to offend others and dare not refuse, it is actually an invisible burden to yourself.

You can't meet everyone's expectations. People's desires are endless. What you should know is how to be yourself.

The key to not being called a "good person" is to learn to refuse.

The so-called rejection means not accepting the requested opinion.

Don't promise. In the Chinese class in primary school, we learned to refuse because of the study of words and sentences.

But in life, I can't do it well.

Let's see, what kind of psychology does the fear of rejecting others mainly come from?

I am afraid that refusal will annoy others and make interpersonal relationships stiff. But in fact, this is mainly psychological. When there are many interpersonal relationships, it is actually an emotional problem.

We also hope to be affirmed by others, so that when we need your help, you will do it without thinking.

There are many such things. After getting used to it, you will find that the demands of others are growing endlessly, while your ability is declining day by day.

Sometimes, you even screw up everything that others need you to do, and you will suddenly be complained by colleagues or even superiors. You said, refuse others, won't we say?

In fact, everyone will, but they just can't say it.

There is a big sister Yin in the office. Because her husband works in other places, the two places live separately as husband and wife.

Her parents can't take care of her, because her brother gave birth to two sons, so the burden of taking care of the children only falls on her.

In-laws are old and don't know much about many things, so she often walks away suddenly to take care of the children.

Once, she said to Xiao Wu, "Can you help me sit on those contracts? My child has left in advance. "

Xiao Wu looked at the time. There was still an hour before going to work. Xiao H agreed without thinking.

A few days later, Xiao Wu heard the conversation between Sister Ayin and the monitor in the teahouse. "This xiao wu said he would help me with the contract, but I didn't do it well. Come back and start over. This is a waste of my time. You have to talk about her. "

Casual conversation let Xiao Wu know that sometimes helping others depends on the situation, otherwise the result is often thankless.

From this incident, we can't help worrying about Xiao Wu. If you hadn't promised, there wouldn't have been so many things later.

But in fact, many times, I dare not, I'm sorry. It has become a reason not to refuse others.

When you learn to refuse others.

First of all, get rid of the label of good men and think about why they are embarrassed to embarrass you.

Especially in the workplace, we should learn to do what we can, and when we should refuse, we should bravely refuse.

In the book Being a Woman in the Workplace, it is mentioned that women should not exchange secrets with colleagues too much in the workplace.

Friendship, in this respect, often affects his thinking at work, and there is no way to judge independently.

Xiaoqing is the deputy class in the class, and she is always eager to help others in the class.

On one occasion, she became an assistant counselor. At first, everything was normal. Slowly, she found that refusing others made her more and more tired.

Because of their good relationship with her, the students failed to pass the class Committee, but went directly to her and asked her for help.

Slowly, she fell behind in her studies and failed in the final exam, and the selection of various scholarships had nothing to do with her.

Originally, this position should be the easiest to get all kinds of awards, and finally I missed all kinds of awards because I didn't know how to refuse others.

It can be seen that it is a terrible thing not to know how to refuse others.

In my spare time, helping others is just a breeze.

But when you have something very important, you will find that you don't know how much trouble rejection has brought you.

Here, I want to recommend a method,

Let's make a list of things to do in a day, a day, a week or a month.

How much time do you need to do your own thing, and what things are actually delayed because of your good personality?

When you have a clear understanding of your energy and time, you can begin to learn how to refuse others.

When someone asks you for help again, you can tell me what you are busy with.

You can give her some advice and tell her how to find your problem.

Don't say I can do it right away, I will help you, and don't make a promise before you know your ability.

Learning to reject others, whether in life or in the workplace, is very critical.

This will not only reduce your stress, but also have time to focus on your own affairs and run your own hobbies.

Don't be a "good person", learn to refuse, and sometimes be clear about your attitude, which will win the respect of others!