Four languages that encourage children to stick to.

As the saying goes, "a good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June." Language is one of the most powerful forces in the world, and its impact and harm to the mind is far greater than the harm to the body by force. If the growth of a child's life is compared to an apple tree, then our parents' education is the root of continuous energy supply, family education is the trunk of the apple tree, school education is the branch of the apple tree, social education is the leaves of the apple tree, and the big and red apple is the mature fruit of the child.

Encouragement is like a key, which can unlock children's potential, and this key is in the hands of parents. What do parents do to encourage their children to do well in exams? Which of these four ways do you usually use? )

Case: Niu Niu Grade Three English Final Exam 65,438+000. When he told his family the good news, the whole family was very happy and congratulated Niu Niu in succession.

Grandpa said, "Our Niu Niu is clever. You see, I inherited my good genes! "

Grandma said, "Niu Niu is great! Grandma hopes that you can get 100 every time in English! "

Dad said, "Not bad. How many students in your class got 100? "

Mom said, "Niu Niu, congratulations on your English test 100!" This is inseparable from your persistence in making a study plan and reciting English picture books every day. We all think you are a good boy who can do it and stick to it. Mom should learn from you! "

The above are all kinds of encouragement from the whole family to Niu Niu, and Niu Niu is very happy after listening. But how to encourage children more effectively to promote their growth? Which of the above four languages do you think is more powerful? Reply number 1.2.3.4

Parents need constant encouragement in the process of implementing the plan. We should not start casually, let alone end casually. Every plan is made with children, carried out together, along the way! Parents' encouragement will be the biggest motivation for children to move forward. Parents' words and deeds have a profound influence on children's education, so today I will share four languages that encourage children to persist.

Whether a child can grow into a swift horse has a great influence on the way parents encourage him. Parents are advised to use the very practical four C encouragement method. By using this method, children are not only encouraged, but also strengthened their efforts behind their good grades and won the appreciation of others. This kind of all-round encouragement has the most far-reaching influence on children and will make them more confident.

With 4C encouragement method, children feel that they have been recognized and appreciated by their parents and will become more confident!

4C Encouragement Method Step 1: Congratulations? Parents congratulate their children on their progress or good grades.

The second step, case: find the flash case of children's progress and strengthen their own characteristics and advantages.

Step 3: Comments: Children praise their personality traits and enhance their self-confidence.

The fourth step, commitment: tell the influence on the child's future and make the child full of hope and strength.

As mentioned earlier, Niu Niu has achieved good results. Let's see how parents use 4C encouragement to encourage their children to make progress.

The first step, congratulations-Niu Niu, you did well in the final exam. Mom, congratulations!

The second step, the case-mom found that you were well prepared for the exam and collected the wrong questions comprehensively and seriously. Moreover, you are very diligent in learning English. Every day, you will regularly arrange 20 minutes to learn English and read English picture books. You are persistent!

The third step, evaluation-mom thinks you are a serious, diligent and persevering child!

The fourth step, influence-if you are interested, you can be a translator in the future and be our guide when you go abroad!

The four steps are expressed together: "Niu Niu, you did well in the final exam." Congratulations, mom! Mom found that you were well prepared for the exam and collected the wrong questions comprehensively and seriously. Besides, you study English very hard. I will regularly arrange 20 minutes to learn English and read English picture books every day, which is very persevering. Mom thinks you are a serious, diligent and persevering child! If you are interested in the future, you can be an interpreter and go abroad as our tour guide! "

Children love to procrastinate, sometimes because they are not confident and afraid of being criticized for not doing well. Over time, it's easy to break the jar. You said what you said, and he promised verbally, but he didn't do it at all.

Therefore, in the process of implementing the plan, it is more important to recognize the attitude that the child is willing to do than to evaluate the quality of the child's work, no matter how well the child does!

3- 12-year-old children like to recognize themselves through the evaluation of themselves by the outside world, so parents must give enough encouragement before children can build up enough self-confidence!

One: Four wands to encourage children to shine.

Parents should not only give general praise to their children's progress, for example, you are great, you are so smart! You're amazing! It is to be good at discovering the details that children are worth encouraging, and then strengthen their behavior.

The more children arrange learning tasks, the more they need parents' encouragement, otherwise they will feel that they have become learning machines, only used to complete tasks, and have no interest and motivation to carry them out. For children, it is not easy to get this result if they only get academic results that satisfy their parents, because there is only one first place! (& amp)

However, in the process of winning the first place, many children have grown up and made progress. If you can see the child's bright spot every time and give sincere recognition and encouragement, the child will feel that his efforts are meaningful! Let's look at the four wands to find and encourage children's bright spots.

1.

Descriptive language describes what I see or hear.

For example, in this final exam, Jessica Hester Hsuan scored 93 points in mathematics, which was 5 points higher than that at the end of last semester.

(grumpy tone) I often hear many parents say this sentence in the language of attacking their children's self-confidence: "Jessica Hester Hsuan, you only got 93 points in the math exam. I heard that more than a dozen students in your class have reached more than 95! " Some parents said, "Jessica Hester Hsuan, how did you get 93 points?" This score is unacceptable. You have to get at least 98 points, and it's best to get 100! "

The correct way is to use descriptive words to highlight children's progress: "Jessica Hester Hsuan, your math score has increased by five points this time, which is really good!" Why is this progress so great? Because I saw that our Jessica Hester Hsuan carefully previewed and reviewed every day this semester and made a set of wrong questions. Great progress has been made in mathematics this time, which is the result of Xuanxuan's daily efforts.

You can also say, "Jessica Hester Hsuan, the teacher said that you are more and more attentive in class this semester and seldom talk to your deskmate. You can keep up with the teacher's explanation." And now you can finish your homework according to the schedule without mom reminding you. It's really good! "

For the baby, we can also use descriptive encouragement methods to describe our daily behavior habits, such as the description of a 3-year-old baby: seeing that her packed toys are neatly placed, my mother thinks that the baby is really a good boy who loves to sort out and summarize!

2. Gratitude type

I thank+an act worthy of gratitude.

When children help us do some housework within our power, we might as well encourage them with gratitude. For example, the child sent us a glass of water a few days ago. We can say, "Mom, thank the baby for sending me a glass of water. The baby is really a good boy who is empathetic and sensible. "

When we help our children do things at home, we might as well do our own things for them and help them do things at home and say thank you. The baby's behavior is very encouraging!

3. Authorization type

I believe+believe in behavior and attitude.

For example, it is a bit difficult for Xiaomi to read and write pictures. I believe you can write it if you spend ten more minutes thinking. "Baby, I believe you can put on your coat first, and then put on your pants. I believe the baby can do it.

4. Behavior encouragement

In addition to encouraging language, when parents communicate with their children, they can pat their children on the back, or touch their heads and look into their eyes with a smile, which often makes them feel our trust and support, and their studies will be better.

When children complete more than 70% of the plan in a week, they can get a special welfare. Like going to an amusement park or a science and technology museum.

You can also give your child a privilege, something you were not allowed to do before or junk food you were not allowed to eat, but you can make an exception and give it a privilege after completing the plan.

It can also be some material rewards, but the material rewards are less than some spiritual rewards, so that children will not ask for a lot of material in order to complete the task.

Two: How?

Always use the foot-in-the-door effect (push your luck effect).

Make smaller demands first, and then make bigger demands, so that the other party can accept bigger demands more easily. The essence of this effect is to push your luck.

Encourage children to start with small things, such as clearing the table first. Then take the opportunity to encourage and ask for more things such as a three-day plan.

Once the child's behavior is recognized, the child will become more and more motivated.

The way to identify children. Describe the facts, tell the facts, don't exaggerate the mistakes made by children, and look at their behavior in the mirror. No matter how bad things are, there are behaviors worthy of encouragement.

1. Talking about now

We should encourage children to do what they are doing now and give them timely and positive encouragement.

The positive cycle culture of interest refers to the state that the brain produces a good circuit, the brain secretes dopamine, and dopamine produces excitement. Excitement makes children more willing to do what they are doing now. Thinking is the command issued by the brain to the body, directing the actions of body products. Action releases energy and attracts related energy from the outside world to aggregate into the present result. Therefore, the root of the current result is the ideas and ideas in the mind.

Children are like gyroscopes, and teachers and parents are like whips. We should encourage them clockwise, and only positive encouragement can do better. Only when you feel good can you do it well.

For example, when I saw my baby helping my grandmother with her back, I immediately encouraged her to say that I saw my baby helping her grandmother with love and taking care of her family. She is really a kind child and can put herself in others' shoes. In this way, children will be more willing to help the family.

2. Always say I understand you

When the result is not satisfactory, learn to say "I understand you" to your child!

Children sometimes say things that upset their parents, such as it's time to get up in the morning. Sometimes children who don't get enough sleep will say, "I'm sleepy, I want to sleep!" " "

The poor communication way of parents is: "Who told you to stay up late last night?" Get up quickly, it's boring to muddle along every day. You are sleepy, and I am even more sleepy. We get up early to cook every day, and you don't do anything. How dare you ... "This method is easy to irritate children, make them unhappy and have rebellious psychology.

The suggested way of communication is: "I understand that you slept a little late last night, so you were sleepy and really hard!" " ""I'll give you another minute or two. You choose. You must get up at that time, or I will lift the bed ... hahaha. " "Let's take the time to adjust the sleep time at night. Do you think it is 9: 30 or 9: 45? "

In the case of communicating with children, parents should understand their children more and not irritate them. Ask for children's opinions and reach a good consensus with them. If you really need to criticize, only criticize the behavior, not the child's personality characteristics (for example, you are too bad, you are too careless, you are too ignorant, you are really a muddling along person ... "

Understand more and complain less; More care, less nagging; More care, less harm!

3. Talk about the process rather than the result

There is only one result, whether it is good or bad, we have to accept all the results of the child because it happened. No one has the ability to change the past. The only thing we can do is to focus on the present and look at the present with a developmental perspective. How can we do it better?

In the process of doing it, there are many places worthy of our parents to encourage their children. For example, I see that my baby insists on doing homework as soon as possible from school to home every day and insists on reciting five words every day. My baby's persistence and willpower are really super strong.

Three: Tool Card

1. Praise hard work, but not talent.

The Rosenthal effect is also called pygmalion effect. Teachers' or parents' earnest hope for students can dramatically achieve the expected results. For example, a student with poor grades, one day the English teacher assigned the task of memorizing English texts. He recited the text on a whim that day. The next day, the teacher asked the students who could recite, and he raised his hand. The teacher was surprised, but let him stand up and recite. Then the teacher carefully praised his efforts in front of the whole class, and he became a master of English from then on. So success is the mother of success.

When praising children's abilities, we should praise their efforts, not their talents. We can't praise children that you are too smart, which will give them the illusion that I am too smart, so I don't want to learn.

For example, "Jia Jia, before this exam, I saw that you spent enough time reviewing all the wrong books. Your success in this exam is the result of your hard work. A hard work, a harvest, your behavior habit of serious efforts is worth encouraging. I believe your review before this exam will get better and better! ? "

2. Growth is more important than achievement

In order to make children interested in learning, parents' usual communication methods are very important. If we always say, "You can't do such a simple question, you are so stupid!" " Why are you so slow? You can't get into a good middle school if you go on like this! Finish this homework quickly, there are still many homework waiting for you! "How can we make children fall in love with learning?

If parents are always dissatisfied with their children's learning, children will lose interest in learning and feel that learning is a very painful thing. Only when parents adopt good communication methods, find out their children's strengths and highlights, encourage them more, and teach their children what solutions to take when they encounter difficulties, will their children's learning remain in a better state.

In addition to encouraging children, parents can also cultivate their children to cope with academic difficulties with an optimistic attitude. Because optimism helps to improve children's academic performance, optimistic children will be healthier physically and mentally. Optimism can help us adults and children learn to be pessimistic about ourselves instead of falling into pessimism! Optimism can make us have the courage to face difficulties and challenges and find the most suitable way to solve them!

3. Look for the bright spot with your heart

Parents and children are like opening an account in a bank. I praised him, encouraged him and recognized him as a deposit. I changed him and complained that his shortcoming was to withdraw money. Save first and then take, save more and take less. Banks like us. If we withdraw money and don't save it, the bank will hate us if we withdraw more money and don't save it. Therefore, our parents should pay more attention to finding the bright spots in their children and encourage them more.

Principle of chopping vegetables: the table is the child's self-esteem, the chopping board is encouragement, and chopping vegetables is the child's shortcoming. The less vegetables you cut, the stronger the toughness of the table! Parents don't preach, whether positive or negative, when their children are not doing well or when they are emotional. Instead, we use suggested methods instead of evaluative words. ? After completing the following tasks, parents should not stare at their children's problems, criticize less, make more suggestions, and pay attention to emotions and tone in communication. Such words should be said as little as possible: "What did the teacher say in class? Why don't you know, so you have no memory? "

In other words: "It seems that you have mastered most of the classes, which is really good. None of these three questions are correct. Let's take a look at what knowledge points have been tested on this topic. " If you master these wrong questions, you can fill in the blanks and you won't be wrong next time.

One is the tone of evaluation, which represents the child's ability; One is a suggestive tone, accompanying children to look at learning and problems with a developmental perspective.

Proper and correct criticism is helpful to children, and attention should be paid to emotional management when criticizing. However, if you ask too much of your child, stare too closely and criticize too many times, your child will not take your criticism seriously, but will have a feeling of resistance and rebellion.

Find the bright spot in the child with your heart and constantly enlarge his bright spot. Describe things with less comments, describe things objectively and fairly, and the more specific the better.

Now let's review what we talked about today. First, we discussed four kinds of encouraging language: descriptive language, grateful language, empowering language and body language.

How can we encourage children correctly? To say now, the more specific the description, the better, the process rather than the result.

Finally, we talked about the tool card of encouragement and praise: praise hard work, not talent; Encouragement is equal, so we should look for the bright spot with our heart.

Let's be wise parents and raise healthy children together. If parents live as a beam of light, children will naturally follow.

Today's homework: Use at least two types to help children write encouraging words.