How should parents educate their children?

Lead: It is generally believed that the education process begins with a person's birth and lasts for a lifetime. Some people even think that education can start earlier. Some parents influence the growing fetus in the uterus through external words and music, and carry out prenatal education, hoping to give their children a positive and healthy development. As parents, how should we educate our children? I have arranged some skills and methods for you. Welcome to learn from them!

How should parents educate their children to care about small things? A child must have his own free time and arrange his own affairs, which is his freedom. Children without freedom lack self-determination and independence when they grow up. While giving children some freedom, they should also have their own principles, that is, children must learn to obey those important things. For example, going to school is a non-negotiable thing. No matter how much the child pleads, you must abide by this rule. If he plays truant, he will be severely punished.

Combination of reward and punishment: only reward children without punishment, children will not know what rules are, and when they grow up, they will have no legal awareness, which will easily lead to crime. If children are punished without rewards, they will lack motivation and easily lose themselves and the meaning of life when they grow up. They often ask themselves what is the meaning of living. The combination of rewards and punishments is the best way of education, and more attention should be paid to rewards on the basis of the combination of rewards and punishments. Because punishment can't make bad behavior disappear, it just temporarily suppresses bad behavior. Rewards and punishments should be timely. If it is not timely, rewards and punishments are invalid.

Whether corporal punishment of children is correct is still a controversial topic. My personal opinion is that corporal punishment of children depends on their age. For children under the age of four or five, corporal punishment is necessary because criticism and education are ineffective and even parents can't fully understand what they say. When children grow up, corporal punishment becomes ineffective, which requires parents to be reasonable. Corporal punishment can only increase their awareness of violence.

Grasp the boundary between play period and study period: before children go to primary school, it can be called preschool, and preschool children mainly play. Even if you sign up a lot of classes for your children at this time, the main form of class is playing. So it is unrealistic and useless for you to ask your children to learn a lot about this matter. After attending primary school, children's interests will gradually change. Preschool games can no longer attract them, so they gradually became interested in learning. At this time, your children will be very diligent. Therefore, you should distinguish children at different ages and do different things at different stages.

Pay equal attention to IQ and EQ: the relationship between IQ and performance is zero correlation, that is, there is no relationship between them. Children with high IQ may not achieve high success. The purpose of my mentioning this research result is to hope that parents don't care too much about their children's IQ, which is not that important. Is EQ more important than IQ? Actually, we can't say that. For a person with high emotional intelligence but low IQ, if he improves his IQ, he will get great development. For a person with high IQ and low EQ, improving EQ can help him succeed. So it seems more important to balance emotional intelligence and IQ than to emphasize only one.

Ten tricks that parents must know when teaching their children.

One: Humor-an effective means of counseling

"Lack of humor is sad", so is family education. Humor induction plays a special role in parents' language training.

Humor is an effective means of tutoring that can't be ignored. A sense of humor can infect children. In a family full of humor and laughter, children will become lively, enthusiastic and enlightened. At present, educational institutions in western countries attach great importance to the cultivation of children's sense of humor. As parents of enlightenment education, it is very beneficial to play some kind jokes with children, encourage them to say some healthy one-liners and educate them with humorous methods. Child psychologists believe that this is by no means amusing, but cultivating children's healthy and happy personality. If parents have more humor, their children will have more laughter, more joy and more strength. Humor can not only eliminate the artificial tension between parents and children, but also make children physically and mentally healthy through laughter, thus achieving the purpose of entertaining.

Two: Easy education, all talk and no action.

If you were asked to describe your swallow in a few words, what would you think? Is the child sweet and lovely, or naughty and disobedient? I believe that every parent must have a bittersweet and profound experience of their children's growth.

Modern parents' parenting style has gradually changed from authoritative command to the importance of communication. However, perhaps due to the influence of growth, many parents are still not good at praising their children often, perhaps they pay little attention to their children's small advantages, or they know but feel it is unnecessary to say it. On the other hand, however, parents think they are deeply responsible for loving the Lord, so they often scold their children for obedience. In fact, no matter praise or blame, it will have its role, but how to use it, when to use the most appropriate question, and how to handle this discretion is really a big test for parents.

Three: You can also be a master of praise.

Most parents in the East are reserved. Even if their children behave well, they just say something lightly, at most, "good". Children are too young to judge whether many behaviors are good or bad, feasible or not. They must rely on external forces as a measure, and their parents' reaction is their main basis.

Children are very concerned about their status in the eyes of their parents. If parents can often give their children some praise, it will not only enhance their self-confidence, but also make them willing to maintain that kind of behavior. As long as parents always remind themselves to pay more attention to their children's advantages, I believe they will feel more and more lovely. When you see the advantages, don't hesitate to express them. Great advantages are praised, and small advantages are praised. Try a few more times, and you will be more natural. It's really not that difficult to praise children often.

Remind parents. Don't just say "great" and "very good" when praising, add specific examples to let your children feel your sincerity, not just talk casually!

Four: make the blame effective but harmless.

Children are children after all. No matter what we say, he is still childish. It's natural if you are angry with the child, but don't take it out on the child. Often when you say a word in anger, emotional venting accounts for most of it; And often these words will be full of dissatisfaction and lethality. Maybe it's the style of "You always do this, but you don't listen …"; Or maybe it's "Are you benzene or something? I don't understand! " Personal attack; What's more, in addition to verbal violence and physical violence, I tried to vent all my anger on my children ... but, in the end? My anger has subsided; The child's injury is very heavy ...; A quarrel hurts both body and mind.

1. Take a deep breath and count from 1 to 20. Don't talk in a hurry.

2. Calm down and make sure that you can speak rationally, Ran began.

3. Look at the child's reaction first. If he feels guilty, we will repeat our request.

If the child is still me, you can tell him: I am very angry now, will you please be obedient? And explain to the child why he is expected to do so.

5- If the child still refuses, please pause his ongoing action first; And tell him seriously: "I think I need you to listen to me carefully": or "If you have anything to protest, you can say it and let me know."

6. You can talk about ours first, or you can listen to the children first; The principle is: listen quietly, and "really listen", don't be bound by the ideas of your ancestors.

7. Make an agreement with the children. In principle, children can have their own requirements, but they should also keep a balance with our expectations; And let the children know the law of things, don't indulge them blindly.

The situation of every family, every parent and every child is very different. Therefore, we must think about several ways to deal with the problems we face. With heart, Feng Muxin cares most about his parents' sincerity; But at a deeper level, I hope my parents are cautious and my children can feel it with joy and confidence.

Five: Learn to apologize to your child.

Child psychologists point out that in a family, parents' prestige is not established because they are always right, but because they are realistic and strict with themselves, thus winning the trust of their children. One must apologize to others for doing something wrong and hurting others. Parents admit their mistakes in front of their children, or find appropriate opportunities to talk to their children about their mistakes, so that children can learn to be human. Only when children feel that their parents' words and deeds are really correct will they have sincere respect and their parents' prestige will be truly established.

At the same time, when apologizing, we should pay attention to the fact that the main idea of apology should be clear, the attitude should be sincere and the truth should be to the point. In this way, there will be profound educational effects.

Six: Let father participate in family education.

More and more fathers are involved in tutoring, which is the need of miniaturization of modern families. The "traditional extended family" with a large population in the 1950s currently accounts for only 4% of American families. A Gallup poll shows that in the past 10 years, the time spent by parents on tutoring has increased from 5 hours a week in 1984 to 32 hours today, and the increasing trend is still increasing.

Experts pointed out that it is a lucky thing to be able to inject more lubricating oil into my father's education in the feminine and croaking family education.

Of course, experts also pointed out that fathers should pay special attention to the following points when treating their children:

1. A father should overcome any simple and rude behavior and always show a patient and meticulous attitude.

When playing games with children, fathers don't have to be too involved, such as playing video games, otherwise the family will become an unsupervised "paradise".

3. Fathers should not smoke, drink or actively try products recommended by advertisers in front of their children.

4. The father should strictly check his palace in front of the children.

When the children are doing their homework, dad tries not to read newspapers and magazines, watch TV, make phone calls or use audio equipment.

Finally, in front of his wife, the father should praise the children more and criticize them less. When there is a dispute with his children, he should try to solve it by himself before his wife comes home.

Seven: Children's Gender Education

Gender education for young children in Singapore is not only in the classroom, but in all aspects of life. Mothers in Singapore will carefully select male and female products for their children. Sometimes because of the color pattern, they will ask the salesperson, is this men's or women's clothing? The baby boy in their hands, although still wrapped in diapers, is wearing formal men's briefs. Their mother said that they should be called "boys". When the child learns to speak, the mother will tell the child her gender. A young Singaporean mother told her baby, "Are you a boy?" And "Are you a girl or not?" And they often repeat. When children learn to speak, teach them to say "I am a boy" or "I am a girl". If you deliberately say "you are a girl" to a little boy, he will still shout angrily: "No! I am a boy! " (no! I am a boy! In kindergartens in Singapore, children's toilets are also divided into men's and women's toilets, and children are separated from each other. The facilities inside are completely in accordance with the regular men's and women's toilets, but the proportion is reduced. On the first day of children entering the park, knowing the toilet is the first lesson. On the doors of men's and women's toilets, there are signs for men and women respectively. This sign is close to the sign in public places. Boys should be masculine and girls should be careful, which is the established concept of parenting in the hearts of ordinary parents in Singapore. Once, a mother sent her two-year-old son to kindergarten. The child cried and hugged his mother and refused to leave. The mother said to the child in a firm tone, "You can't cry, you are a man, and men can't cry." Sure enough, the boy fought back his tears. Another time, a lady and two or three boys were waiting for the elevator. As soon as the elevator door opened, the lady let the children in first, but they didn't go in. One of them motioned, "Ladies first".

Eight: Educate children to adopt positive thinking methods.

American elementary schools often teach parents how to talk to their children.

For example, the school tells parents that children's art works are not good enough, so you can't say "your painting is broken", but "think about it, can it be improved?" When a child makes a mistake in his homework, you'd better not say, "You are wrong", but politely say, "Check, did you follow the teacher's instructions?"

Never hurt a child's self-esteem. The school teacher said, "If you can treat your child in a positive way during his growth, he will treat others in a positive way in the future.". On the contrary, if he is exposed to malicious and negative words since childhood, he will also look at the world with' negative thinking' in the future. "

When children come home late from school, active parents will ask, "Is it because the teacher has too much homework?" Parents who think negatively will sarcastically say, "It's so nice outside, how can you return it!" "

Some of our parents always like to take a cynical and negative way of thinking, express their emotions, and hurt their children's self-esteem everywhere, which is very harmful to their growth.

Nine: Several incorrect "prestige"

Many parents know that their prestige in front of their children is very important for educating their children, but they may not know how to establish prestige and what kind of prestige to establish. Many parents have an incorrect understanding of the word "prestige", which has a bad influence on their children's education. Negative teaching materials can be a mirror for a willing heart. Let's list the incorrect parents. Some kind of prestige may help you.

1. The prestige of high pressure. Parents often lose their temper and use violence to scare their children.

2. The prestige of alienation. Parents don't get close to their children, don't exchange ideas with them, and don't let them know their parents' hobbies.

3. The prestige of love. Parents are tolerant of their children.

4. Put on airs. Parents are good teachers, self-righteous and conceited.

5. Prestige of preaching. Parents are always chattering and posing as preachers.

6. The prestige of temptation. Parents always use all kinds of rewards to raise their status and buy their children's hearts with small favors.

7. Show off your prestige. Parents always like to talk about their glorious family history and past achievements in front of their children, without setting goals for them.

Ten: Godson ten don't.

Keno, a famous American psychologist and educator, classified the languages that parents should not speak to their children as 10:

1. Don't swear words, such as "you big idiot!"

2. Don't blame, such as "It's too bad that you always do something wrong!"

3. Don't insult, such as "You are such a useless waste!"

4. Don't be depressed, such as "Shut up, stop it!"

5. Don't be forced, such as "I said no, I just can't!"

6. Don't threaten, such as "I don't want to take you anymore, get out of here!"

7. Don't beg, like my little ancestor, can I beg you? "

8. Don't complain, such as "You disappointing child, it's heartbreaking!"

9. Don't make a wish, such as "If you get 100, I will ..."

10. Don't be sarcastic, such as "You are amazing, you can do such a thing!"

2 1 century is a century of increasingly fierce competition, and 2 1 century is a century of the strong. Only by cultivating children's strong temperament and making them strong can we adapt to the needs of the new century.

Self-confidence is the most distinctive feature of the strong. Cultivating children's self-confidence is the first step to help them succeed. Children have made little progress, so parents should seize the opportunity to praise and encourage them and let them firmly believe in their abilities. While children are making progress, we should fully satisfy their desire for new achievements and let them have the valuable quality of "never being satisfied". Always remind children that "I am full of confidence in success". Hemingway, a famous writer, is a typical example of the strong. He participated in World War II, suffered dozens of gunshot wounds and left the museum by plane, but he still has an invincible spirit. This is due to his survival training in the wild since childhood. When he was 10 years old, his father gave him a gun and he went hunting on an isolated island. He said, "I will never fail." Hemingway's self-confidence from childhood laid the foundation for his success.

To be a strong man, we must give full play to our advantages, exert our potential to the limit, and constantly challenge the limit. Only by respecting children's personal wishes and self-evaluation and helping children follow their own interests and talents can children grow up as soon as possible. Imagine letting Mozart and Beethoven engage in inventions and business activities, and letting Edison and Watt stay indoors to paint, play the piano and write articles. What consequences will that lead to?

Down-to-earth, one step at a time, endless exploration, this is another remarkable feature of the strong. It is necessary to train children's concentration. You can tell a story to your child, then let the child retell the story, and so on. With the spirit of concentration, it is very important to make a scientific development plan.

Related content: Parents should educate their children how to respect the elderly.

First of all, we should give full play to the educational role of role models.

Parents should set an example and be leaders who respect the elderly. Children have superficial understanding, poor judgment and lack of independence, and their psychological activities are suggestive and imitative. In their eyes, parents' behavior is a ruler, thinking that he can do whatever his parents do; What parents do, he should do.

Therefore, parents should be modest, polite, caring and considerate when they get along with the elderly (parents, in-laws, in-laws, etc.), such as serving tea and water to the elderly at home and making way for the elderly in public. Parents' words and deeds, children see in their eyes, remember in their hearts, and behave in their own actions. They will treat the elderly like their parents. You can also set an example for children by using the good behavior of hero model figures, real life and characters in literary works.

Secondly, practice repeatedly in daily life to form a habit.

Practice is an effective means to strengthen memory traces. Only through repeated practice can good behavior be transformed into habits and maintained for a long time. In daily life, adults must pay attention everywhere, start from "small things" and strengthen the training of children. For example, children are often asked to help the elderly, communicate with the elderly in polite language (such as "hello", "goodbye", "thank you" and "please walk slowly"), and care for and sympathize with the sick elderly. After repeated training, children's good habits will gradually develop over time.

Third, use relevant festivals to inspire and induce.

Good behavior can be induced by talking, nudging and hinting on the birthday of the elderly, the Double Ninth Festival (Double Ninth Festival), New Year's Day and the Spring Festival. For example, ask a child, "Tomorrow is XXX day. What should you do? " ? How to make grandpa (grandma) happy? "Children will seriously say," I help grandpa cut the cake and wish him a happy birthday, health and longevity ","I give my grandma a gift "and" I pay a New Year call to my grandparents ".

Fourth, correct bad behavior in time to prevent delay.

Children are impulsive and have poor self-control. Their behavior is often dominated by emotions and easy to make mistakes. They often make rude behaviors towards the old people, such as losing their temper, throwing things at the old people and ignoring them. Once these problems are discovered, adults must be willing to discipline, criticize seriously and persuade patiently, so that children can understand their mistakes. In particular, we will not let go of the "first time" and strictly control it. Accommodating tolerance can only lead to more mistakes and let children develop bad habits.

Finally, it is suggested that the elderly communicate more with their children to enhance their feelings.

Some children either stay away from the elderly or are indifferent, often because of lack of communication and deep feelings. In communication, it is often passive to act under the reminder of parents, such as moving a stool for the elderly and saying "goodbye".

Case Study 1: Socket Event

When my daughter was almost two years old, she was very interested in the socket hole on the wall, so I brought her a tape recorder and told her that there was electricity in the hole on the wall, which was needed by the tape recorder. When plugging in, she needs to hold the plastic part in the back, which is safer. If she takes the first two pieces of metal, she will die, and her hands will be wet and she will die if she plugs into the socket. My daughter is still afraid of death. Although she may not understand what will happen, it is a very bad and terrible thing in short. When she was less than two years old, she learned to plug in the socket. From that day on, we often ask her XX to help me plug in this or that socket. She often drags her tape recorder to listen in this room, and then drags it to that room without asking us to help her. Well, she has lived safely until now. She has never been exposed to electricity, and I have never worried that she will get an electric shock. I even told her that if you see a metal wire and want to know if it is charged, you can try it with your back. If charged, it will hit you, it will hurt a little, it will be a little numb, but remember never to scratch it with your palm. The back of your hand will bounce off when touched, which is not dangerous. If it touches it, your palm will hold it tightly, which is fatal.

Case study 2: Lying on the ground crying

My daughter seldom uses crying as a means to achieve her goal, because she has never succeeded once. After a small class, she saw a successful case and learned to use it. One day, in order to eat rice porridge with us, she still had to lie on the ground alone. Our family should do whatever it wants and be her air. Thanks to my mother, she began to sweep the floor. She went to the place where her daughter was lying and said to her, come, lie down for a while. I want to sweep the floor here. Stay out of the way. I will clean and play before you lie down. So the daughter moved and continued to lie down and cry. Later, she said, well, I have cleaned this place, so you can lie back. My two-and-a-half-year-old daughter actually lay back in her original place, whining. Our whole family hid and laughed wildly. My daughter stayed in the air for half an hour and finally found that other people's success stories could not be successful for her. She stood up and said, please, I also think rice porridge is delicious. After that, she went to eat clean rice porridge.

Until now, I have never seen her cry on the ground as a means to achieve her goal. In fact, many children's behavior is just temptation. If they were stopped for the first time, the same behavior would hardly happen again.