Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - 20 13 classic funny love story wife, have you found that you have become beautiful recently?

20 13 classic funny love story wife, have you found that you have become beautiful recently?

1. My husband asked me seriously, dear, have you found that you have become beautiful recently? I felt smug, suppressed my excitement and said, no, and then he said seriously, well, yes!

Once, my boyfriend was drunk. Hold me in front of all my friends and ask me: will I marry you? Shit! How should I know! ? I thought about it and said I didn't want to. As a result, he said, well, why don't I marry you and me? With my consent!

4. My husband ridiculed me: Your hair is tied up like a kitchen appliance-a brush for washing pots. I glanced at my husband's uninvited paper and laughed at him: yours is not like a brush, but also like a kitchen utensil. My husband asked with wide eyes, what electrical appliances? Me: steel ball!

One day, my spoiled husband said, honey, take me to the washing machine! My husband looked at me and said weakly, let me help you with the washing machine. It is lighter.

6. These days, my wife and I watched Water Margin at home. The heroes in it are extraordinary, and my blood is boiling. On this day, I deliberately put a few pOSE in front of my daughter-in-law to let her see if I look like a Liangshan hero on TV. My wife gave me a look and said with a smile, you are really similar to several Liangshan heroes. I was overjoyed and said, alas, what do I have in common with several heroes? Tell me, who is there? My wife snapped her fingers and said, You are simple-minded like jy, you drink like Lu, and you speak hesitatingly like Lin Chong all day! I was greatly discouraged and asked with a frown, can't I see the advantage? My wife thought about it and comforted me: it's not without it. For example, you listen to me very much. This advantage is very similar to the vegetable garden in Zhang Qing.

7. My wife took the road test that morning and called me at noon to report the result: I hung up! My wife told me angrily. I quickly asked: What's the matter? What did the examiner say? On the phone, she imitated the examiner's blunt voice: beauty, when the car is going to hit a roadside tree, it should either steer or brake, instead of honking desperately!

8. My wife gave me another lecture: 1. I remind you again, when you take off your socks, don't take off one in the living room and the other in the bedroom. Divorce tastes bad. I think you understand. One more thing, the texture of socks is quite soft. Don't wear it for ten days and a half, and change it when you are very sweaty. If you do this again, I swear, I will slap you in the mouth with them. Don't always say that I love you for ten thousand years. I can give everything for you. You want the stars in the sky, and I am willing to wait for the inflation index to be too high for you. Actually, I prefer quantitative data, such as how many times you wash dishes and cook a week.

9. On weekends, my wife and I went to the market to buy food. When I came back, my wife said that I saw a dime on the road and insisted that I get off and pick it up. When I saw that the basket was full of food and there was a large flow of people, I disagreed. My wife had to park her car on the side of the road and then walk over and pick up a dime. I made fun of her love to take advantage of petty advantages, but my wife happily said to me: don't underestimate this dime. This dime is destined for three points, and the other seven points depend on hard work. Just like today, this three-point chance has come, and the rest depends on whether you fight or not. Said, and put a dime in his pocket.

10. The wife is very fat. She put on her newly bought clothes and came to her husband: What happened? Husband: Although it is a little tight, it fully highlights the beauty of lines. The wife is very sensitive: Is this inappropriate? Husband: No way! Elastic clothes are like this, as long as you don't feel uncomfortable. Wife: Do you look sad? Husband: Even if it looks uncomfortable, blame the tailor. This level is too low.

1 1. My face was tanned in summer. I told my husband more than once that I wanted to buy a private car. In the evening, I tentatively said to my husband: I ride my bike to work every day, and I am sunburned into briquettes; It's too crowded by bus. I still want to buy it for my husband, so I quickly took it over and said, buy it if you want! A sun hat doesn't cost much. Don't discuss it with me.

12. A lady came home and found her husband sleeping with her nanny. In order to settle this matter, the husband promised to buy a pair of leather pants for his wife. In order to show his rights, the husband had to drive the nanny away. The wife said, wait a minute, I want a fur coat!

13. After a man got married, his wife quarreled with him all day. He really can't solve this problem, so he often goes to his father's house to complain. Once, his mother-in-law was in a bad mood: this little thing ran to our house all day. Is the manufacturer of the products sold still responsible for life? The man is a little wronged: then you have to do a good job of after-sales service!

14. My wife always thinks that married life is not romantic enough, so she said to her husband, how about we talk about love again? Who knows my husband waved at me and said, forget it, I don't want to go back to the evil old society!

15. Wife: The gas stove is very convenient. Do you know who invented it? Husband: It was invented by a man. He is called by his wife to make a stove every morning.

Do you find these mood quotations classic?

1. If you can't walk out of the past, you are not qualified to talk about the future.

If you feel disappointed and powerless now, what should you do in the future?

This rough world will not be gentle with you, it will always be sharp and harsh, but everything is fair in front of strength.

Make a living outside, don't express your pain to anyone, because most people don't care, and the rest are happy to hear it.

All unexpected events are accompanied by long foreshadowing.

6. A city can make you forget, probably because there are people you love deeply and youth who parted ways.

7. Before the pain, everyone will tell you that everything will pass. However, you don't know when and how it will end. So many times, you will still be anxious, afraid, sad and at a loss. Therefore, people spend most of their lives struggling to stand alone by a little light from outside.

8. A good life means not dreaming, doing more, asking less, smiling often and being content.

9. Everyone is very happy. However, your happiness is often seen by others.

10. What you pay now will be a kind of precipitation, and they will pave the way silently, just to make you a better person.

1 1. Be optimistic, be happy, life is short, and don't waste time on things that are not worth mentioning.

12. Nothing is eternal, things change. See this temporality in all things, don't worry, don't try to do anything. Just wait! Wait for nothing. If you can wait, the transition is there. Waiting itself is a transformation.

13. Everyone is the moon, and there is always a dark side that no one can see.

14. Time makes deep things deeper and shallower. If you look down, you will get less hurt. Time has changed, love will fade and break up. Don't wait for someone who shouldn't wait, and don't be heartbroken. It really takes a long time to understand the people and things you really miss.

15. I will live in one of the stars and smile on a certain star. Whenever you look up at the starry sky at night, it's like seeing all the stars smiling.

16. After waiting for a long time, you forgot all the details, and the rest became your quality.

17. It seems that when you are sad, all the melodramatic sentences are tailored for yourself, and all the stories can be empathetic.

18. The saddest thing is not that others have offended you again, but that you always have a hard time with yourself.

19. One day, when I was old, someone asked me which period of my life was the happiest. Perhaps, I will not hesitate to say that it was when I was a teenager. At that time, love had not come yet, and life was carefree; The most painful things are tests and exams. I felt a lot of pressure at that time, but in retrospect, it was so small.

20. No matter what everyone in the world says, I think my feeling is right. No matter what others think, I won't disturb my rhythm. I like it naturally, but I don't like it for long.

2 1. The real life is to be conscientious every day. Don't ask for love and vision that has nothing to do with you at present. Don't dwell on unnecessary emotions and judgments. No delusions, no self-indulgence. Don't hurt, don't be enemies with yourself and others. Don't perform and don't believe in other people's performances.

What you have to overcome is your vanity, not your desire to show off. What you have to deal with is the cleverness you always want to rush out and show off.

23. Life is like this. You think you have escaped from one whirlpool, but in fact another whirlpool is at your feet. Kick it in hard. Therefore, we don't need to work too hard in life, and our hearts will take us where we should go.

In this bizarre world, no one can live a smooth life. But I always believe that those who have experienced all kinds of disasters and tasted all kinds of tastes will be more lively and clean after walking through Pinghu misty rain and years of mountains and rivers. Time is always a bystander, and all the processes and results need to be borne by yourself.

25. I want to have the freedom and courage to be myself.

26. It is better to find an interesting person to marry, which is much more lasting than the happiness brought by money and appearance. Of course, fun and fun are two concepts. Fun is a superficial stimulus, and fun is a deep interest in the bones. Life will overwhelm our enthusiasm with dullness, and only interest can make you face the grim reality. Interesting people, a bowl of porridge can also drink the fragrance of roses.

27. You only remember my vicious tongue, my savagery and my shrew, but you can't remember me who loved you at the beginning.

28. Take a bath, look at flowers and have a meal. If you feel happy, it's not all because the bath is clean, the flowers are blooming well, or the food is to your taste, mainly because you have nothing in your heart.

29. There is an embarrassing age, which is called getting married too early and falling in love too late. Playing with children is boring, and staying with adults is not a topic. I am too idle at home to go out. I don't want to be scolded for being unsatisfactory, and I am accused of being unrealistic for thinking too much. Youth is like this, which makes people feel at a loss, but it takes several years to discover its beauty and importance.

30. All bad moods come from exams, gaining weight, lacking money and having no partner.

3 1. I don't want to see you in my life, I just want to see you again. You will never appear in my heart again, only vicissitudes and fleeting time.

32. I know you are coming towards me through the crowd. There is a you somewhere in this world. Thought of here, my heart became peaceful. Maybe I don't know you yet, but we are no longer entangled in whether we missed each other's most beautiful years, let alone who we loved and who we broke our hearts for. We are not perfect, we are warm to each other. Please wait for me on your way, and we will meet again.

33. This choppy world will not be gentle with you. It will always be sharp and harsh, but everything is fair in front of strength.

There are two main points in being a man: don't let yourself down and don't wronged others.

35. All unexpected events are accompanied by a long foreshadowing.

Learn to adapt, and you will find that your environment will become bright.

1, I will still believe in love, but I won't believe that love can last forever.

Let's love each other. You don't need to be too handsome, too rich or have a perfect personality. You can lose your temper occasionally, you can not answer the phone or QQ occasionally, you can hang up occasionally, and you can forget the holiday anniversary occasionally. As long as he is by your side for a long time, as long as he cherishes you with his limited life, it is enough to constitute the reason why you love him. You are not a fairy, and you don't ask him to be perfect. That's probably what caring for each other means.

3. if you work hard, you will get something. If you love each other, you will be together. These are the two biggest lies in the world, but they have always supported our stumbling when we were young.

4. Those who speak from the heart say: In this world, sometimes you laugh at others, and sometimes you laugh at yourself and relax. Life has ups and downs, and you can't lose your mood without anything.

5. nothing. No matter how many times you do it again, you will definitely have regrets in your life.

6, learn to adapt, it will make your environment bright; Learn to be tolerant, and you will have no troubles in your life.

7. those who speak from the heart say: how to spend the low tide of life? Wait quietly; Have a good sleep; Exercise requires good health at all times; Chatting with intimate friends, basically not complaining, mainly remembering happy times; Read more books, read some biographies, increase your knowledge, and see how others survive when they are unlucky; Take the opportunity to do housework and finish all the busy work at ordinary times.

8. Love is actually willing to spend time for you; He is always with you when you are most difficult and depressed; If you play a little temper with him and complain to him, he may get angry, but in the end, he never left.

9. It's really good for a person. I have no time to think about it. What's the use of being nice to this person? What is the reward? It's all silly. It's not complicated at all It's just that you're happy and I'm happy. It's that simple. You never know how much people who worry about you love you.

10, we think it is easy to start a love and end a love, and it is even worth looking forward to. After many years, I suddenly look back and find that love is the most extravagant disposable consumer goods. Because no one will wait for you in the same place. If you miss it, it will be fixed as a permanent landscape. No matter how much regret and regret, it will become an irreparable loss and punishment!

1 1, those who speak from the heart say: I still know you after breaking up, but I don't want to see you again. I won't bless you if you live well, and I won't laugh at you if you live badly. Because from now on we are strangers. Your world no longer has me, and my world no longer has you. I can't cherish you anymore. I'm sorry, what I lost is what you lost. . .

12. Occasionally you will find me and contact me. Your sudden appearance will still stir my heart. However, I also learned to pretend to you, neither cold nor hot, neither salty nor light, and smile mercilessly. I won't shed those cheap tears again. Then listen to you whisper, "You've changed."

13, it's always a long time, and it's always irreversible, only to know that what you abandoned yourself will never be encountered again in the future.

14, those who speak from the heart say: goodbye, I love you so much. Although I am all thumbs, I have tried a lot, so I don't regret it. Now, I give you back my love. Can you give me back my little pride?

15, the real cleverness is to calm down and listen to your original wishes.

20 13 classic personality that can make you happy. Talk about mood phrases.

1. The first love is infinitely good, but it hangs early.

My girlfriend said that she found a job in Japan and told me to work hard at home. Don't watch AV if you have nothing to do.

I'm afraid I'll be more sad, so I have to pretend to be more indifferent than you.

There are two me in this world, one pretending to be happy and the other really sad.

Leave my life with you for my own good.

6. Why do you suddenly want to cry? Don't I have a little sadness against the current?

7. I wish you loneliness and longevity.

8. When I am trying to improve my self-cultivation, there are always some people who just like to run over and be cannon fodder ... then I have to help you from another angle!

No matter how much I love you, it's not worth saying that I marry you.

10. My boyfriend said he got a job in Thailand and told me to work hard at home and not to travel to Thailand.

1 1. If you hate a man, turn his woman into a Chris Lee, so that he can't enjoy the happiness of the upper body; If you hate a woman, beat her man into Chris Lee, so that she can't enjoy the happiness of the lower body.

12. Who has such strong feelings for me ... for RMB?

13. Your mother must have been full of anxiety, absent-minded and so sloppy when she gave birth to you. ...

14. Don't always look depressed with constipation!

15. What is crazier than love is lovelorn.

16. Obviously, he is the son of township cadres, and he is a rich second generation in cities.

17. No one will give you a step. Get yourself a chair.

18. There was a retaliatory rebound after the stock market crash. I occasionally do something out of line to express my dissatisfaction. Is that understandable?

19. How many pairs of eyes are left after ten years?

20. People who don't have boyfriends have time every night. ...